(no subject)
Attention, fair citizens! I- yes, your attention if you would. Right. Ahem. It's me, your good Mayor Doe.
So! As I'm sure many of you have heard, there's a rather suspicious-looking character skulking around the neighborhood. Sergei Smirnov, if that is your real name, I urge you to turn yourself in and face the mercy of the American justice system- the best in the world, might I add! This can go very easy for you, provided that you cooperate with the proper authorities.
As for the rest of you, I urge you to report any sightings of Smirnov to my good friend and colleague Police Chief Grady the first chance you get. Simply place a call to his station saying where you saw the fugitive. I would also like to inform you that this man Smirnov is an extremely dangerous criminal, one who will in all likelihood bring nothing but tragedy into your lives. No matter how harmless he may seem, he is criminally insane and, worse yet, a communist. For his own good and for the good of everyone in this town, turn over his location as soon as you see him. His words are the insane ramblings of a drunken madman, and you should pay them no heed whatsoever.
...I- I'm serious, now. We- I don't want to hurt any of you, but order must be maintained. I will not let this vermin infest our good town for any longer, so if none of you are willing to cooperate then we will have no choice but to take... drastic measures. I'm sure you all think you are somehow sabotaging us by aiding this man, but you have no idea what kind of-
...Ah- aah- I'm sorry- I'm sorry! Just let me... ugh... Er- right. Where was I? Insane ramblings, dangerously mad. Of course. Turn him over at the first chance you get.
...if you know what's good for you.
[click.]
So! As I'm sure many of you have heard, there's a rather suspicious-looking character skulking around the neighborhood. Sergei Smirnov, if that is your real name, I urge you to turn yourself in and face the mercy of the American justice system- the best in the world, might I add! This can go very easy for you, provided that you cooperate with the proper authorities.
As for the rest of you, I urge you to report any sightings of Smirnov to my good friend and colleague Police Chief Grady the first chance you get. Simply place a call to his station saying where you saw the fugitive. I would also like to inform you that this man Smirnov is an extremely dangerous criminal, one who will in all likelihood bring nothing but tragedy into your lives. No matter how harmless he may seem, he is criminally insane and, worse yet, a communist. For his own good and for the good of everyone in this town, turn over his location as soon as you see him. His words are the insane ramblings of a drunken madman, and you should pay them no heed whatsoever.
...I- I'm serious, now. We- I don't want to hurt any of you, but order must be maintained. I will not let this vermin infest our good town for any longer, so if none of you are willing to cooperate then we will have no choice but to take... drastic measures. I'm sure you all think you are somehow sabotaging us by aiding this man, but you have no idea what kind of-
...Ah- aah- I'm sorry- I'm sorry! Just let me... ugh... Er- right. Where was I? Insane ramblings, dangerously mad. Of course. Turn him over at the first chance you get.
...if you know what's good for you.
[click.]