(no subject)
I got over having that sadness for no reason a couple weeks ago and was doing better for a bit, but then a couple days ago got knocked over by it again.
And just in time for family to start REALLY pushing a lot of buttons since yesterday morning.
Pushing them hard enough that I'm too pissed and upset about it to even write it out and post it.
I know a few followers are entertained by family shit and the way I present it but it ain't coming out nicely 😂
It's nothing that horrible. It's just coming on top of other things, and I've had two days of NOTHING going right at all.
It's very frustrating.
It feels like every single thing I try to accomplish gets screwed up so badly that it takes no less than three times as long as it should to take care of it and every one of them also creates new problems in the meantime 😭
Not sleeping as well because of it, so that doesn't help. I usually run on around 5 hours a night, but lately it's 2 hours at night and an hour nap when I conk out sometime during the day.
But the family and businesses are up during the day, so when I'm trying to nap, they're calling and texting with situations they've created and want me to fix.
It doesn't help that I'm still doing the counseling thing and more shit is hitting me hard recently.
So I'm overtired, grouchy, and still realizing just how many anger issues I have when I thought I wasn't an angry person (when you're not allowed to show anger as a kid/teen it doesn't mean it goes away, you idiot).
People I know being shitty around me or to me IRL and online is just really testing that "never loses it on anybody" thing I've got going. I need a babysitter for my life so I can take a 2-day nap.
And just in time for family to start REALLY pushing a lot of buttons since yesterday morning.
Pushing them hard enough that I'm too pissed and upset about it to even write it out and post it.
I know a few followers are entertained by family shit and the way I present it but it ain't coming out nicely 😂
It's nothing that horrible. It's just coming on top of other things, and I've had two days of NOTHING going right at all.
It's very frustrating.
It feels like every single thing I try to accomplish gets screwed up so badly that it takes no less than three times as long as it should to take care of it and every one of them also creates new problems in the meantime 😭
Not sleeping as well because of it, so that doesn't help. I usually run on around 5 hours a night, but lately it's 2 hours at night and an hour nap when I conk out sometime during the day.
But the family and businesses are up during the day, so when I'm trying to nap, they're calling and texting with situations they've created and want me to fix.
It doesn't help that I'm still doing the counseling thing and more shit is hitting me hard recently.
So I'm overtired, grouchy, and still realizing just how many anger issues I have when I thought I wasn't an angry person (when you're not allowed to show anger as a kid/teen it doesn't mean it goes away, you idiot).
People I know being shitty around me or to me IRL and online is just really testing that "never loses it on anybody" thing I've got going. I need a babysitter for my life so I can take a 2-day nap.