With All Due Respect...
Ok, so here's the thing: I, for seven whole years, have loved House, the show. I've loved it because of House, the main character, of course, but I also loved it because of the dynamic he had with other characters. And I mean ALL of them! Like the lenient mother of a turbulent child, I was ready to excuse all his flaws. I understood his reckless ( Read more... )
I'm gonna watch too but I will not do that with that expectation in mind because either I'm right (there won't be any redemption, as I intend it, that is) and so I'll save myself the bitterness, or I'm wrong and I'm going to be surprised... win-win, right? ;)
as for the "enough already" stage, it's a place I think I'm unable to get. maybe by cowardice, maybe by delusion, or maybe, simply because, I don't know, after seven years of totally devoted faith for this show, quitting this close to the end, no matter the reason why, would be like being a cheerleader in the best football team all season long and then not show up the day of the superbowl... (sorry, I'm still a fetus in American metaphors, lol)
what I'm experiencing right now is super odd: I don't feel disappointed. I am not angry. I've moved past the stage of frustration now. I am not even curious to find out what's next. I think I simply don't care. I just want to close the book, with whatever writing compromise they'll come up with and be able to say: I was there. I saw it all.
also somehow, part of me needs to live the experiment of changing perspectives in my viewing. until then, I was literally obsessed with House. I've dissected its character more than sanity recommends. I've written tons of fictions, articles, reviews and comments about it, spent hours thinking about the psychology of this man, its creator, the sociological impact of the anti-hero's journey, where it was going, why... I've anticipated, tried to guess, wanted to know, boiled with excitement, jumped in anticipation, cried with anger... I've gone through the whole emotional scale, back and forth, several times. and I know that it impacted my viewing experience. When you're passionate, you necessarily end up lacking objectivity so it changed my vision of the show.
Now, I'm close to what could be complete emotional detachment. and I'm curious to know how it feels to watch it from that angle. I wonder what I will see, how I'm gonna see it and what I'll feel then.
like I said today on Twitter, I guess it must be like the way you look at a man you once loved madly but that now only inspires you cordial indifference. in spite of the indelible tatoo it undeniably left under your skin, I know from experience you can look at that man straight in the eyes and feel serene, even sometimes wonder WTF was wrong with you for being that much blindsided by such a flawed creature in the first place... ;)
So I still have something to find out, rather selfish, and not really House-related anymore, but at least I have a motivation... and from there, I'll see how that goes.
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