A story of most children.
When I was a child I learned rather early that life was not fair. I was pretty certain that my parents were wicked. Probably even evil. I was telling myself that when I grow up I am going to be different. I will NEVER treat anyone this way, because I know what it’s like to be in this god forsaken situation. Why do my parents have to be so nasty and prohibit TV when I was somewhere in my early kindergarten through school? They never bought me a motorcycle jacket that I asked for every day for a year when I was 13. They made me do crazy things like attend music classes, and sports of sorts, and even school. These people were definitely placed on this earth to make my life miserable. I wondered at times if these were my REAL parents. Because REAL parents would not do that to their own child. “When I grow up”, I kept telling myself, “I will ALWAYS be fair to others.” “If I ever have children, I will buy them everything they ask for!” I had no doubt that knowledge of the past will teach me in the future. Boy, was I ever right! I now remember my father smiling every time I threw a tantrum because I was not getting something that I knew I was ENTITLED to. Now I know why. Apparently he also had a past. He probably recollected his childhood at those very moments. My mother started smiling later on. Early on she obviously really went out of her way to actually give me what I was so ignorantly not really needing at the moment. But back to me. My history definitely prepared me to be the best parent ever because I was the best child ever and I knew what a best parent had to do for his best child. Weren’t you the bestest thing ever that happened to your parents? I know you know precisely what I am talking about. Us bestest of the best must stick together on this one. So here I find myself a little over a year into the parenthood, and guess what? I was right all this time. My past did prepare me for how to treat the bestest thing that ever happened to me. And it does involve catering to every need of my little one. Unfortunately for the little one at this point in life I know the difference between a need and a whim. It saddens me to report that I am ready to acknowledge that I will not be the best parent for my best child. At least not as far as he is concerned for the next several decades. It took me nearly 40 years to recognize that my wicked evil parents were the best parents a child could possibly hope for. I do have a past and it does teach me that it will take about as much time for my little one to even start thinking on the same subject. I know that he will ask for things and will not get them. I know that he will learn that life is not fair. I know that I will be the wicked evil parent. And I will smile and tuck the screaming and tantruming little one in without letting him watch more TV. I will proudly be his evil parent. At least until he becomes one himself.