of flaws and lies [6.2/?]
onkey; nc-17; romance, angst
--
Jinki slammed shut the door of his room. Feeling tired. But mostly he felt sick. He was sick of everything.
He's wrong if he thought it's easy to live here. It was indeed easy at first but when something like this happened, when everyone started to corner him -or so he thought- it felt like hell.
Jinki himself didn't understand why he's upset about it. It's not like he needed a real friend there. He just needed a good judgement so he could keep up with his mission, right ?
The prince sighed as he walked slowly to sit on the edge of his bed. Closing his eyes and throwing himself to the matress, Jinki suddenly remembered his brief chat with Minho.
He missed home. He thought as he tightly shut his eyes. He missed his bed. He missed playing water polo with Minho and his cousins. He missed riding Russel -his silky white horse-. He missed teasing Taemin about his obsession with brush and paint. How's the kid doing without him, anyway? Jinki chuckled to himself.
He had the thought to drive himself home right now -since no one would bother to ask about it anyway- but escaping was a form of cowardice. And he was not one.
He still had a lot job to do, he'd barely done anything. He won't leave like this. Not in this mess.
Jinki rubbed the side of his face, wincing as he accidentaly touch the bruise on the tail of his eyes -which was still painful- too hard.
It annoyed him again to think about the cause.
Jinki sighed, rolling on his side as he's thinking to rest his tiredness away, but before he could close his eyes, there's suddenly a knock on his door and he frowned. Just because there's no one knock his door before, even when they needed to talk to him.
So half-heartedly, Jinki got up from his bed, didn't bother to smoothe his messy hair as he walked to the door and opened it.
Then all that he saw was a pair of feline eyes looking up rather nervously at him.
Key ?
Jinki raised his eyebrows "What are you doing here?" he asked, didn't mean to sound that harsh but he failed as he pretended not to see the way Kibum flinched at his tone.
The younger's nervous face suddenly turned into disappointment. "You... skipped dinner." he said, looking down to the floor.
Jinki frowned, "and?"
"I see that you also skipped breakfast and yesterday's dinner too." Kibum said without thinking, "you barely eat.."
The older was puzzled, wondering why Kibum bothered to remind him about it. Because he himself didn't realize he skipped his meal for that long. Was this even necessary for Kibum ? It's not like Jinki was his bestfriend like Jonghyun. Ha.
"Yeah, so ?" Jinki asked flatly "You come here at this hour just to tell me about my bad diet ?"
Kibum remained silent.
Jinki was looking tiredly at the fumbling guy in front of him for a good thirty seconds before he sighed "Go to sleep, Key. It's late." he said emotionlessly, ready to close his door.
"A-are you okay?" Kibum was holding the other side of the door to prevent Jinki from closing it "Has- has your bruise gotten better ? I heard Jonghyun punched you again.." he stuttered.
Jinki was already walking inside to ignore Kibum at the time the younger held his door open. So that, after Kibum realized Jinki was not on his sight anymore, he stubbornly followed to step in, closing the door behind him because he didn't want the other to find him coming for Jinki.
"Onew.. Are you ok-"
"No ! I'm not !" Jinki cut rudely as he turned around and found Kibum behind him "Could you do anything about it ? No ? Then leave !"
Kibum seemed like someone had just punched him in the face "Why are you being like this ?" he frowned, didn't understand.
"Why are you being like this ?" Jinki asked back "Stop acting like you care because I know you're not."
Kibum opened his mouth to talk back but he just couldn't.
"Leave." Jinki said, gesturing his head to the door.
"No." Kibum glared at him, challenging.
Jinki clenched his fist on the side as he tried to steady his breath "Fine." he said in the end, before grabbing his jacket from his bed and walked toward the door "Then stay here. I'll go."
"Onew..."
The next second Kibum was holding his wrist with two hands, that Jinki couldn't help but to turn around to release his hand.
But Kibum was looking at him with that desperate feline eyes like he did to him in his dream, pleading.
"Onew.." he called, his eyes softened. "Please.."
"Stop it !" Jinki yelled out of his frustation, backing Kibum to the wall with a brute force he didn't know he had before.
He trapped the younger with both of his hand which had already freed a second before because of the shock Kibum was experiencing.
"Stop it ! Stop doing all those things you think you could do to me !" Jinki shouted like crazy.
While Kibum was staring confusedly at him, blinking "I just..."
"Shut up ! Just shut up !" Jinki yelled again. "Shut ! Up !" he punched the wall right behind Kibum's head in every word, just before he crashed his own lips into Kibum's parted one.
It's maybe the tension, or the anger, or the tiredness or only Jinki who couldn't hold himself back anymore that made him didn't even budge from the abusive kiss when Kibum crumpled the shirt on his chest to push him away.
"Stop.." Kibum panted, turning his head to the side as he hit Jinki's chest "I can't.. breath.."
But Jinki was stubborn, tilting his head to follow Kibum's movement and capture his lips again.
"S-stop.." Kibum whispered.
And Jinki eventually stopped, when he himself needed air to breath that he drew away from Kibum. Tho he kept trapping the younger, panting as he looked down and saw Kibum was still holding onto his shirt.
Then he looked up again and he could see it. The darker lenses of Kibum, hooded with something that was clearly not fear.
Jinki curled one side of his lips upward, sinisterly as he lifted Kibum's chin with his finger "Do you really want me to stop ?" he asked, raising his eyebrow, staring straight at the feline eyes in front of him.
Kibum, instead of answering, just remained silent. He only kept staring back at Jinki's beautiful brown orbs, contemplating.
"Do you?" Jinki asked again, leaning closer.
Kibum didn't know what to answer. His mind was blurry and he didn't know why he couldn't do anything other than tightening his grip on the fabric of Jinki's clothes which he'd been crumpling since the beginning.
Seeing Kibum's lack of response, Jinki opted to tilt his head and kissed Kibum again.
And Kibum wasn't sure why he didn't dodge Jinki this time.
"Stop me.." Jinki whispered to him as he moved down to kiss his jaw.
Kibum just closed his eyes, succumbing to how good it felt.
"Stop me.." Jinki said as he traced the veins on Kibum's pale neck with his parted lips, both of his hands slid down to squeeze the younger's waist.
Kibum could only release a breathless 'Ah..', his chest moving up and down as Jinki's body slowly pinned him down against the wall, and he could feel Jinki's erection deliciously rubbed against his thighs through the fabric of their pants, pooling a pleasure on his belly at the fraction.
He subconsciously bucked his hips up when Jinki drew away for a while to attack the other side his neck before he desperately took another fistful of Jinki's shirt and pulled the older closer to him, pressing their arousal back together.
Jinki already had his hand under Kibum's shirt, feeling the plane of his flat tummy when they started kissing again. With battles of tounge and bites this time.
When Kibum's shirt finally got out of the way because it had came to the point of bothering and Jinki had almost kneeled for sucking the younger's navel, Kibum squeezed Jinki's arm and hissed something hoarsely about his leg.
And Jinki was almost slapping himself because he totally forgot about it.
The hiss Kibum emitted should probably mean 'We should stop this now' and not 'Could we do this in your bed instead' but for Jinki that time, it was quite the latter.
The next forty second, Jinki couldn't exactly remember how they finally reached his bed. With Kibum was laying on his back, left with nothing on his body, and himself without his top.
He was thinking deeply as he stared at the beautiful face of Kibum, his slender body giving in, opening up, for him.
He was going to have his first intercourse. With a guy. And it was rather confusing.
But then Kibum pulled him by his hand to hover above him, eye to eye, before his slim digits climbed up slowly to reach for his nape and he pulled him down to crash their lips together.
Jinki gasped a little as he felt Kibum's other hand brushed along his back, cold fingers on sweating heated skin, before they tugged on his pants and Kibum started to peel it off, along with his undergarment.
Jinki finally decided to turn the switch inside his brain off and let his instinct work as he lifted his body for a while, kicking his underwear through the rest of his leg and he pressed Kibum down.
Their bare erection slid together for the first time.
Jinki could feel Kibum was panting under him after, breathless and desperate.
His hand was on Jinki's hips again and he seemed a little hesitant as he moved his slender fingers pass the older's thigh, before they wrapped around his throbbing dick.
Jinki's breath hitched. Because the feeling those slender digits wrapping his length was just .. right.
And when Kibum started doing the job, kneading, feeling his veins, Jinki just couldn't help but to close his eyes, burying his face on the younger's neck, breathing heavily.
But at one point, before he could come and burst out, Jinki decided to snap his eyes open and lift his head up, stopping Kibum's hand and bringing it up to pin it beside the younger's head.
Kibum was confused at first, thinking he was doing something's wrong but then he understood what Jinki wanted to do as he could feel Jinki's hand slolwy slipped under his backside, caressing the inside of his thighs before his stubby fingers came in between the cheeks of his ass.
Kibum lifted his body a little to hook his fine leg around Jinki's waist, while his wounded one was spread on the bed.
He raised his hand to reach for Jinki's head, running his fingers through the older's wet hair gently as reassurance, whispering "It's okay.. It's okay..".
Kibum closed his eyes after he saw Jinki lowered himself, pressing a kiss on his lips before it moved down to land on his neck and he could feel the tip of the older's erection poking his entrance, before he slowly started to push in.
"O-onew..." Kibum arched his head, moaning and grunting from both of the pleasure Jinki sent him from the biting on his tattoo-ed nape and the initial pain when the older's length stretched him open.
He clawed Jinki's back desperately, biting his lips as he bucked his hips, matching the rhythm of Jinki's thrust. The bed's creaking under their harsh movement.
There's no word exchanged in between. No sweet nothings nor promises, because that's not what they needed. That's not what they felt.
Maybe, not yet.
There were only pants and raw slapping sound of skins. Which were not even prepared. Literally and not, for something like this.
For something they were not even asking for.
When they reached their peaks together, calling each other name in whispers, there were no fireworks and blooms happened on their visions.
It was only white.
Blinding, deafening, numbing.
But the blankness cleared their senses out when they slowly went limp.
Jinki opened his eyes after he pulled out. Sweating and breathing heavily, he kept himself to hover above Kibum, waiting for the beautiful face underneath him to open his eyes.
But Kibum didn't.
And Jinki didn't want to give it up.
So, he lowered his head and pressed his dampened forehead to Kibum', breathing in the younger's breath.
Sighing slowly as he watched the feline eyes finally blinked back to his crescent, he could also see how it whispered the unspoken words clearer and louder than their mouths could say.
Jinki closed his eyes again as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on Kibum's rosy lips.
Hearing the rush of heartbeat ran faster on his veins after all that had happened, Jinki wasn't sure if he could ever turn back.
Because he had already fallen. Further and deeper.
--
Jinki slammed shut the door of his room. Feeling tired. But mostly he felt sick. He was sick of everything.
He's wrong if he thought it's easy to live here. It was indeed easy at first but when something like this happened, when everyone started to corner him -or so he thought- it felt like hell.
Jinki himself didn't understand why he's upset about it. It's not like he needed a real friend there. He just needed a good judgement so he could keep up with his mission, right ?
The prince sighed as he walked slowly to sit on the edge of his bed. Closing his eyes and throwing himself to the matress, Jinki suddenly remembered his brief chat with Minho.
He missed home. He thought as he tightly shut his eyes. He missed his bed. He missed playing water polo with Minho and his cousins. He missed riding Russel -his silky white horse-. He missed teasing Taemin about his obsession with brush and paint. How's the kid doing without him, anyway? Jinki chuckled to himself.
He had the thought to drive himself home right now -since no one would bother to ask about it anyway- but escaping was a form of cowardice. And he was not one.
He still had a lot job to do, he'd barely done anything. He won't leave like this. Not in this mess.
Jinki rubbed the side of his face, wincing as he accidentaly touch the bruise on the tail of his eyes -which was still painful- too hard.
It annoyed him again to think about the cause.
Jinki sighed, rolling on his side as he's thinking to rest his tiredness away, but before he could close his eyes, there's suddenly a knock on his door and he frowned. Just because there's no one knock his door before, even when they needed to talk to him.
So half-heartedly, Jinki got up from his bed, didn't bother to smoothe his messy hair as he walked to the door and opened it.
Then all that he saw was a pair of feline eyes looking up rather nervously at him.
Key ?
Jinki raised his eyebrows "What are you doing here?" he asked, didn't mean to sound that harsh but he failed as he pretended not to see the way Kibum flinched at his tone.
The younger's nervous face suddenly turned into disappointment. "You... skipped dinner." he said, looking down to the floor.
Jinki frowned, "and?"
"I see that you also skipped breakfast and yesterday's dinner too." Kibum said without thinking, "you barely eat.."
The older was puzzled, wondering why Kibum bothered to remind him about it. Because he himself didn't realize he skipped his meal for that long. Was this even necessary for Kibum ? It's not like Jinki was his bestfriend like Jonghyun. Ha.
"Yeah, so ?" Jinki asked flatly "You come here at this hour just to tell me about my bad diet ?"
Kibum remained silent.
Jinki was looking tiredly at the fumbling guy in front of him for a good thirty seconds before he sighed "Go to sleep, Key. It's late." he said emotionlessly, ready to close his door.
"A-are you okay?" Kibum was holding the other side of the door to prevent Jinki from closing it "Has- has your bruise gotten better ? I heard Jonghyun punched you again.." he stuttered.
Jinki was already walking inside to ignore Kibum at the time the younger held his door open. So that, after Kibum realized Jinki was not on his sight anymore, he stubbornly followed to step in, closing the door behind him because he didn't want the other to find him coming for Jinki.
"Onew.. Are you ok-"
"No ! I'm not !" Jinki cut rudely as he turned around and found Kibum behind him "Could you do anything about it ? No ? Then leave !"
Kibum seemed like someone had just punched him in the face "Why are you being like this ?" he frowned, didn't understand.
"Why are you being like this ?" Jinki asked back "Stop acting like you care because I know you're not."
Kibum opened his mouth to talk back but he just couldn't.
"Leave." Jinki said, gesturing his head to the door.
"No." Kibum glared at him, challenging.
Jinki clenched his fist on the side as he tried to steady his breath "Fine." he said in the end, before grabbing his jacket from his bed and walked toward the door "Then stay here. I'll go."
"Onew..."
The next second Kibum was holding his wrist with two hands, that Jinki couldn't help but to turn around to release his hand.
But Kibum was looking at him with that desperate feline eyes like he did to him in his dream, pleading.
"Onew.." he called, his eyes softened. "Please.."
"Stop it !" Jinki yelled out of his frustation, backing Kibum to the wall with a brute force he didn't know he had before.
He trapped the younger with both of his hand which had already freed a second before because of the shock Kibum was experiencing.
"Stop it ! Stop doing all those things you think you could do to me !" Jinki shouted like crazy.
While Kibum was staring confusedly at him, blinking "I just..."
"Shut up ! Just shut up !" Jinki yelled again. "Shut ! Up !" he punched the wall right behind Kibum's head in every word, just before he crashed his own lips into Kibum's parted one.
It's maybe the tension, or the anger, or the tiredness or only Jinki who couldn't hold himself back anymore that made him didn't even budge from the abusive kiss when Kibum crumpled the shirt on his chest to push him away.
"Stop.." Kibum panted, turning his head to the side as he hit Jinki's chest "I can't.. breath.."
But Jinki was stubborn, tilting his head to follow Kibum's movement and capture his lips again.
"S-stop.." Kibum whispered.
And Jinki eventually stopped, when he himself needed air to breath that he drew away from Kibum. Tho he kept trapping the younger, panting as he looked down and saw Kibum was still holding onto his shirt.
Then he looked up again and he could see it. The darker lenses of Kibum, hooded with something that was clearly not fear.
Jinki curled one side of his lips upward, sinisterly as he lifted Kibum's chin with his finger "Do you really want me to stop ?" he asked, raising his eyebrow, staring straight at the feline eyes in front of him.
Kibum, instead of answering, just remained silent. He only kept staring back at Jinki's beautiful brown orbs, contemplating.
"Do you?" Jinki asked again, leaning closer.
Kibum didn't know what to answer. His mind was blurry and he didn't know why he couldn't do anything other than tightening his grip on the fabric of Jinki's clothes which he'd been crumpling since the beginning.
Seeing Kibum's lack of response, Jinki opted to tilt his head and kissed Kibum again.
And Kibum wasn't sure why he didn't dodge Jinki this time.
"Stop me.." Jinki whispered to him as he moved down to kiss his jaw.
Kibum just closed his eyes, succumbing to how good it felt.
"Stop me.." Jinki said as he traced the veins on Kibum's pale neck with his parted lips, both of his hands slid down to squeeze the younger's waist.
Kibum could only release a breathless 'Ah..', his chest moving up and down as Jinki's body slowly pinned him down against the wall, and he could feel Jinki's erection deliciously rubbed against his thighs through the fabric of their pants, pooling a pleasure on his belly at the fraction.
He subconsciously bucked his hips up when Jinki drew away for a while to attack the other side his neck before he desperately took another fistful of Jinki's shirt and pulled the older closer to him, pressing their arousal back together.
Jinki already had his hand under Kibum's shirt, feeling the plane of his flat tummy when they started kissing again. With battles of tounge and bites this time.
When Kibum's shirt finally got out of the way because it had came to the point of bothering and Jinki had almost kneeled for sucking the younger's navel, Kibum squeezed Jinki's arm and hissed something hoarsely about his leg.
And Jinki was almost slapping himself because he totally forgot about it.
The hiss Kibum emitted should probably mean 'We should stop this now' and not 'Could we do this in your bed instead' but for Jinki that time, it was quite the latter.
The next forty second, Jinki couldn't exactly remember how they finally reached his bed. With Kibum was laying on his back, left with nothing on his body, and himself without his top.
He was thinking deeply as he stared at the beautiful face of Kibum, his slender body giving in, opening up, for him.
He was going to have his first intercourse. With a guy. And it was rather confusing.
But then Kibum pulled him by his hand to hover above him, eye to eye, before his slim digits climbed up slowly to reach for his nape and he pulled him down to crash their lips together.
Jinki gasped a little as he felt Kibum's other hand brushed along his back, cold fingers on sweating heated skin, before they tugged on his pants and Kibum started to peel it off, along with his undergarment.
Jinki finally decided to turn the switch inside his brain off and let his instinct work as he lifted his body for a while, kicking his underwear through the rest of his leg and he pressed Kibum down.
Their bare erection slid together for the first time.
Jinki could feel Kibum was panting under him after, breathless and desperate.
His hand was on Jinki's hips again and he seemed a little hesitant as he moved his slender fingers pass the older's thigh, before they wrapped around his throbbing dick.
Jinki's breath hitched. Because the feeling those slender digits wrapping his length was just .. right.
And when Kibum started doing the job, kneading, feeling his veins, Jinki just couldn't help but to close his eyes, burying his face on the younger's neck, breathing heavily.
But at one point, before he could come and burst out, Jinki decided to snap his eyes open and lift his head up, stopping Kibum's hand and bringing it up to pin it beside the younger's head.
Kibum was confused at first, thinking he was doing something's wrong but then he understood what Jinki wanted to do as he could feel Jinki's hand slolwy slipped under his backside, caressing the inside of his thighs before his stubby fingers came in between the cheeks of his ass.
Kibum lifted his body a little to hook his fine leg around Jinki's waist, while his wounded one was spread on the bed.
He raised his hand to reach for Jinki's head, running his fingers through the older's wet hair gently as reassurance, whispering "It's okay.. It's okay..".
Kibum closed his eyes after he saw Jinki lowered himself, pressing a kiss on his lips before it moved down to land on his neck and he could feel the tip of the older's erection poking his entrance, before he slowly started to push in.
"O-onew..." Kibum arched his head, moaning and grunting from both of the pleasure Jinki sent him from the biting on his tattoo-ed nape and the initial pain when the older's length stretched him open.
He clawed Jinki's back desperately, biting his lips as he bucked his hips, matching the rhythm of Jinki's thrust. The bed's creaking under their harsh movement.
There's no word exchanged in between. No sweet nothings nor promises, because that's not what they needed. That's not what they felt.
Maybe, not yet.
There were only pants and raw slapping sound of skins. Which were not even prepared. Literally and not, for something like this.
For something they were not even asking for.
When they reached their peaks together, calling each other name in whispers, there were no fireworks and blooms happened on their visions.
It was only white.
Blinding, deafening, numbing.
But the blankness cleared their senses out when they slowly went limp.
Jinki opened his eyes after he pulled out. Sweating and breathing heavily, he kept himself to hover above Kibum, waiting for the beautiful face underneath him to open his eyes.
But Kibum didn't.
And Jinki didn't want to give it up.
So, he lowered his head and pressed his dampened forehead to Kibum', breathing in the younger's breath.
Sighing slowly as he watched the feline eyes finally blinked back to his crescent, he could also see how it whispered the unspoken words clearer and louder than their mouths could say.
Jinki closed his eyes again as he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss on Kibum's rosy lips.
Hearing the rush of heartbeat ran faster on his veins after all that had happened, Jinki wasn't sure if he could ever turn back.
Because he had already fallen. Further and deeper.