I think it's over...
I'm lost, confused, and alone. I don't know what
happened to Jen and i'm killing myself over it. I can't figure out why
she isn't answering her phone. It's been weeks now. I haven't heard her
voice since the 29th...I am going insane. I don't know what to do. If
I say to myself that she is gone and done for then i'm turning my back
on her and I swore directly to her that it was the one thing I would
never do. If I keep holding onto her though I am just hurting myself
and killing my heart day by day. God damnit I wish I had someone to
talk to about this...I feel like I could just explode if I weren't crying so much....
I'll try to cheer myself up by distracting it with direct pain to myself. No, i'm not emo and going to go slash my wrists, i'm going to hit myself in the legs with a stick...no one sees the bruises because I wear jeans and i'm too weak to break my own legs...
Anyways befor I do that....I met a new fur this weekend and talked to him quite a bit. He lives up in Minnesota. Heh, sorry....too many things come to mind about that place. Anyways he seems really nice and stuff so far...I have a feeling this guy isn't as blunt as he seems and has a lot more to tell me. Anyways he is pretty nice and understanding so far...
I've been talking with TJ on the phone a lot more often. I'm mad though and feel like I did somethingn wrong. He said to call him on suday night at 9. So I did and his mom said he already went out or something....It's all a bunch of bull shit to me. I just think she doesn't like me for some reason...
I've been talking with RJ a lot also. Heh, me and him are getting pretty close, I think. Anyways I wish I could talk to him right now about Jen....grr.
Me and Joe have beenn discussing quite a bit also. Nothing really that I don't think he wants me to tell everyone but yea....
Oh, I watched 3 pretty good movies this 4 day weekend. Paco rented The Longest Yard, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and The Amnityville Horror. The Longest Yard was so freakin hullarious, except for what happens to Caretaker, I almost cried when that happened. HHGttG (hehe, don't want to type it all out) was really good too. It had it's moments even though it didn't really live up to the book. Then the amnitywhatywhat horror really wasn't that great. Kinda spooky but I wish it was better....
OOH! RJ is home! Yay! Oh well, kinda late...shit....grr, I hate this keyboard, it sucks so badly...ohwell. Sweet dreams everyone.
I'll try to cheer myself up by distracting it with direct pain to myself. No, i'm not emo and going to go slash my wrists, i'm going to hit myself in the legs with a stick...no one sees the bruises because I wear jeans and i'm too weak to break my own legs...
Anyways befor I do that....I met a new fur this weekend and talked to him quite a bit. He lives up in Minnesota. Heh, sorry....too many things come to mind about that place. Anyways he seems really nice and stuff so far...I have a feeling this guy isn't as blunt as he seems and has a lot more to tell me. Anyways he is pretty nice and understanding so far...
I've been talking with TJ on the phone a lot more often. I'm mad though and feel like I did somethingn wrong. He said to call him on suday night at 9. So I did and his mom said he already went out or something....It's all a bunch of bull shit to me. I just think she doesn't like me for some reason...
I've been talking with RJ a lot also. Heh, me and him are getting pretty close, I think. Anyways I wish I could talk to him right now about Jen....grr.
Me and Joe have beenn discussing quite a bit also. Nothing really that I don't think he wants me to tell everyone but yea....
Oh, I watched 3 pretty good movies this 4 day weekend. Paco rented The Longest Yard, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and The Amnityville Horror. The Longest Yard was so freakin hullarious, except for what happens to Caretaker, I almost cried when that happened. HHGttG (hehe, don't want to type it all out) was really good too. It had it's moments even though it didn't really live up to the book. Then the amnitywhatywhat horror really wasn't that great. Kinda spooky but I wish it was better....
OOH! RJ is home! Yay! Oh well, kinda late...shit....grr, I hate this keyboard, it sucks so badly...ohwell. Sweet dreams everyone.