When life hands you lemons, buy some vodka
So.
Life is never convenient, is it?
I figured I'd elaborate a bit on our situation because after thinking about it we're not up Shit Creek without the proverbial paddle, but it still fucking sucks. After I had a complete and total meltdown for about an hour after receiving the call from my boss, which included dry heaving into the Porcelain God (had a basically empty stomach, not having had lunch at that point and only having a bagel for breakfast), I calmed down a bit, ate some chicken nuggets, and had a think for the rest of the day, growing less upset and more angry. (I'll say the timing was impeccable in that respect as my grandparents arrived in town Monday and Family Robertson was expected at my parents' house last night for dinner and socializing. Oh, well, it got my mind off things.)
We are fortunate. We had already figured out that we can live on Jim's salary alone. Plus there's his monthly military pay, which helps take the edge off. We'd have to make a few cutbacks in our current monthly expenses and definitely economize as far as purchases go, probably only buying things that were completely necessary with an odd small frivilous purchase here and there. Me working part time would make it so we didn't have to economize quite so much. Ever since I'd found out I was pregnant, the money spending had gone down considerably so that we could save for when I'd be out of work. And bills that we wanted paid off would have to be put to the back burner again. Plus, the difference in pay of me working full time and paying for a caregiver, even only part time, and me only working part time and having a free care giver, is negligible and would therefore negate the purpose of me working full time (ie there's not much point financially). Not to mention that the thought of putting William in daycare right now is still giving me panic attacks, even just typing it right now.
When Jim and I decided over two weeks ago that I only needed to work part time, I was prepared to quit my job and find something else if they said I couldn't work part time. Here's the rub: that was over two weeks ago. Those fucking bastards sat on it for that long, delaying the time that I could've been searching for something else. I didn't want to have to take any old job and having a month to look for something else would've helped that. (We had been anticipating all along that I'd be going back to work at the beginning of May.) So here I've been living my life for two weeks thinking everything is A-OK, trying to get William sort of on a schedule that fit in with that work schedule.
So, to say I'm pissed is putting it lightly. I'm mad at my boss, though I really shouldn't be, because she didn't tell me that they told her they would get back to her (actually, I'm assuming they told her this). I'm mad at her for making me think that there wouldn't be a problem with it at all. I'm mad at those corporate fucking bastards for fucking with my life. I'm mad at them for always sitting on shit and taking two weeks to say something (I'd guarantee that they knew immediately they weren't going to allow it). I'm mad at them for not having any good and valid reason for not allowing it (They don't work in our office, so they don't know how things work on a daily basis. If my boss, who runs the office, didn't have a problem with it, why should they?) I'm mad that I have put up with their fucking bullshit there for five years and for what? To be dumped to the curb the one time I ask for something. I'm mad at my boss for taking everything they say without ever disputing it. She is their Yes (wo)Man. My old boss would've put up a fight for me.
I have a hunch that their thought process is thus: the office has survived without me for four months (only three that they know of), so they can continue to survive without me. If they *do* need to hire someone else to take my place (doubtful), they can do it on the cheap (ie hire someone to do a fraction of what I did for a fraction of what they pay me). I'm overpaid. It's true. However, that was their decision, not mine. They increased my salary when I graduated from college so they wouldn't lose me. They don't want to pay my salary, therefore tell me I must return full time, when they know I won't.
So what this really is is a matter of convenience. I've been thinking for the past two weeks (and more) that I'd have the ideal situation: working a mile from home, smack in the middle of the day, part time, having someone to watch William at my house who I trust, getting paid well, at a job that I've been at for nearly 5 years and feel completely comfortable at. For once, it'd be nice for things to have worked out in a convenient way.
I don't want to return there full time for two reasons: 1. I don't need to. Why should I work full time at a job I dislike when I don't have to? 2. I want to be stubborn and tell them to stuff it and not take their offer of coming back full time (even though I think that's what they want).
PROS on losing job
* I hate that job.
* This gives me an excuse to find a job I actually enjoy, which isn't something I'd do unless I lost my job.
* There was no job security there, they have no loyalty to their employees, and I could've lost my job at any time, truthfully.
* I continue to have time with William, part time job or not.
CONS on losing job
* It's so close to home.
* My boss is pretty flexible, so if I needed to take a day off here or there, she'd not care.
* I've been there long enough to feel completely comfortable there.
* Looking for a new job is a pain in the ass.
* I won't get paid as much no matter where I go.
* The stress involved in looking for/having a new job.
* The financial stress that is bound to be there for a couple of months, job or not.
* If I held out there until I lost my job, I'd maybe get a severance package, but at the very least be guaranteed unemployment. Who knows how long that would be though? It could still drag out for years.
All I can think of for the moment. May edit with more.
So what I've worked out, though still need to discuss with Jim, is giving ourselves a couple of months to see how it goes; we'll have that tax return to cushion us, if necessary. I *do* want to return to work part-time somewhere, but I'd rather not settle for any crap job if I don't have to. I'll try to file for unemployment (though I'm doubtful it'll be approved), which would really help a lot if I can get it. We'll be getting an OK tax return back here soon, which we can dip into if we have to (it's not as much as we're used to getting for various reasons, but it's still decent). I'll look for a job still immediately, and if something good comes up, great.
I know I can get a job pretty quickly. Hell when I went to B&N the other day, I had two people practically begging me to come back because they are hiring right now. I just would rather not deal with a retail schedule if I didn't have to. It would be an additional challenge with a baby, I think, not having a consistent schedule. Maybe I'll call them and see what they can do for me though, because maybe I'll get lucky and I could work a couple of decent shifts in the meantime. There are any number of admin. asst. jobs posted that I could probably get. I would most likely be hired as a teller at any bank. My big hang up though is that I don't want to be super flexible with hours, which is not a favorable thing for employers.
So anyway, it could be a lot worse than it is.
Oh, one last thing. I'm waiting as long as possible to tell my boss whatever decision we make because they don't deserve a speedy answer, the fuckers.
ETA: One more thing. Jim is going to eat with his dad tonight and he told Jim they'd talk about the situation. I have a feeling he may offer to assist us if needed, or something to that effect. Frankly, given all the grief I've dealt with with them over the years, I would accept their offer. We'll see.
ETA2: Just really rambling to myself now...Something else. There's another reason I'm so mad. Mad at life in general. This is all because of Jim losing his job last year. If his stupidass company hadn't axed his department, it never for a moment would've been as issue because we could've decided immediately that I'd only return part time. We had to wait till the last minute to decide that because Jim only got a job at the last moment. So, so frustrating. Not dwelling, just venting.
Life is never convenient, is it?
I figured I'd elaborate a bit on our situation because after thinking about it we're not up Shit Creek without the proverbial paddle, but it still fucking sucks. After I had a complete and total meltdown for about an hour after receiving the call from my boss, which included dry heaving into the Porcelain God (had a basically empty stomach, not having had lunch at that point and only having a bagel for breakfast), I calmed down a bit, ate some chicken nuggets, and had a think for the rest of the day, growing less upset and more angry. (I'll say the timing was impeccable in that respect as my grandparents arrived in town Monday and Family Robertson was expected at my parents' house last night for dinner and socializing. Oh, well, it got my mind off things.)
We are fortunate. We had already figured out that we can live on Jim's salary alone. Plus there's his monthly military pay, which helps take the edge off. We'd have to make a few cutbacks in our current monthly expenses and definitely economize as far as purchases go, probably only buying things that were completely necessary with an odd small frivilous purchase here and there. Me working part time would make it so we didn't have to economize quite so much. Ever since I'd found out I was pregnant, the money spending had gone down considerably so that we could save for when I'd be out of work. And bills that we wanted paid off would have to be put to the back burner again. Plus, the difference in pay of me working full time and paying for a caregiver, even only part time, and me only working part time and having a free care giver, is negligible and would therefore negate the purpose of me working full time (ie there's not much point financially). Not to mention that the thought of putting William in daycare right now is still giving me panic attacks, even just typing it right now.
When Jim and I decided over two weeks ago that I only needed to work part time, I was prepared to quit my job and find something else if they said I couldn't work part time. Here's the rub: that was over two weeks ago. Those fucking bastards sat on it for that long, delaying the time that I could've been searching for something else. I didn't want to have to take any old job and having a month to look for something else would've helped that. (We had been anticipating all along that I'd be going back to work at the beginning of May.) So here I've been living my life for two weeks thinking everything is A-OK, trying to get William sort of on a schedule that fit in with that work schedule.
So, to say I'm pissed is putting it lightly. I'm mad at my boss, though I really shouldn't be, because she didn't tell me that they told her they would get back to her (actually, I'm assuming they told her this). I'm mad at her for making me think that there wouldn't be a problem with it at all. I'm mad at those corporate fucking bastards for fucking with my life. I'm mad at them for always sitting on shit and taking two weeks to say something (I'd guarantee that they knew immediately they weren't going to allow it). I'm mad at them for not having any good and valid reason for not allowing it (They don't work in our office, so they don't know how things work on a daily basis. If my boss, who runs the office, didn't have a problem with it, why should they?) I'm mad that I have put up with their fucking bullshit there for five years and for what? To be dumped to the curb the one time I ask for something. I'm mad at my boss for taking everything they say without ever disputing it. She is their Yes (wo)Man. My old boss would've put up a fight for me.
I have a hunch that their thought process is thus: the office has survived without me for four months (only three that they know of), so they can continue to survive without me. If they *do* need to hire someone else to take my place (doubtful), they can do it on the cheap (ie hire someone to do a fraction of what I did for a fraction of what they pay me). I'm overpaid. It's true. However, that was their decision, not mine. They increased my salary when I graduated from college so they wouldn't lose me. They don't want to pay my salary, therefore tell me I must return full time, when they know I won't.
So what this really is is a matter of convenience. I've been thinking for the past two weeks (and more) that I'd have the ideal situation: working a mile from home, smack in the middle of the day, part time, having someone to watch William at my house who I trust, getting paid well, at a job that I've been at for nearly 5 years and feel completely comfortable at. For once, it'd be nice for things to have worked out in a convenient way.
I don't want to return there full time for two reasons: 1. I don't need to. Why should I work full time at a job I dislike when I don't have to? 2. I want to be stubborn and tell them to stuff it and not take their offer of coming back full time (even though I think that's what they want).
PROS on losing job
* I hate that job.
* This gives me an excuse to find a job I actually enjoy, which isn't something I'd do unless I lost my job.
* There was no job security there, they have no loyalty to their employees, and I could've lost my job at any time, truthfully.
* I continue to have time with William, part time job or not.
CONS on losing job
* It's so close to home.
* My boss is pretty flexible, so if I needed to take a day off here or there, she'd not care.
* I've been there long enough to feel completely comfortable there.
* Looking for a new job is a pain in the ass.
* I won't get paid as much no matter where I go.
* The stress involved in looking for/having a new job.
* The financial stress that is bound to be there for a couple of months, job or not.
* If I held out there until I lost my job, I'd maybe get a severance package, but at the very least be guaranteed unemployment. Who knows how long that would be though? It could still drag out for years.
All I can think of for the moment. May edit with more.
So what I've worked out, though still need to discuss with Jim, is giving ourselves a couple of months to see how it goes; we'll have that tax return to cushion us, if necessary. I *do* want to return to work part-time somewhere, but I'd rather not settle for any crap job if I don't have to. I'll try to file for unemployment (though I'm doubtful it'll be approved), which would really help a lot if I can get it. We'll be getting an OK tax return back here soon, which we can dip into if we have to (it's not as much as we're used to getting for various reasons, but it's still decent). I'll look for a job still immediately, and if something good comes up, great.
I know I can get a job pretty quickly. Hell when I went to B&N the other day, I had two people practically begging me to come back because they are hiring right now. I just would rather not deal with a retail schedule if I didn't have to. It would be an additional challenge with a baby, I think, not having a consistent schedule. Maybe I'll call them and see what they can do for me though, because maybe I'll get lucky and I could work a couple of decent shifts in the meantime. There are any number of admin. asst. jobs posted that I could probably get. I would most likely be hired as a teller at any bank. My big hang up though is that I don't want to be super flexible with hours, which is not a favorable thing for employers.
So anyway, it could be a lot worse than it is.
Oh, one last thing. I'm waiting as long as possible to tell my boss whatever decision we make because they don't deserve a speedy answer, the fuckers.
ETA: One more thing. Jim is going to eat with his dad tonight and he told Jim they'd talk about the situation. I have a feeling he may offer to assist us if needed, or something to that effect. Frankly, given all the grief I've dealt with with them over the years, I would accept their offer. We'll see.
ETA2: Just really rambling to myself now...Something else. There's another reason I'm so mad. Mad at life in general. This is all because of Jim losing his job last year. If his stupidass company hadn't axed his department, it never for a moment would've been as issue because we could've decided immediately that I'd only return part time. We had to wait till the last minute to decide that because Jim only got a job at the last moment. So, so frustrating. Not dwelling, just venting.