This was inspired a long, long time ago by
this tumblr post -- linking to my reblog, sources of the brilliance all noted. Intended as a crack mix, but I don't really do straight-up earnest crack, sentiment always creeps in. Faux-interview drabbles do, too, but I suppose I can blame that on The Devil's Mixtape (incidentally,
goodreads,
tumblr post -- which got the writer's reblog!!!111!).
Back to business! Presenting: Sherlock!indieband!AU, an album by 221B (except it might have come out not 100% indie).
Black Cab | 1
They might be psycho killers / but tonight I really don't care / so I say turn up the music / take me home or take me anywhere
"True story," John says, deadpan. "Sherlock is obsessed with the London cabbies - great source for the weirdest stories, I'll grant you, but he is obsessed. This song is quite a hymn to that."
Music Is My Boyfriend | 2
I found music / and he found me / bleeding from my fingers and knees / plugged into a drum machine / nailed to my head: a tambourine / and a guitar laced to my waist / a stone cold fever: an internal melody
"Making music together is the best thing that's ever happened to us. Not even being in a band, as such, but being in a band with Sherlock Holmes-" John looks down, unable to hide a smile "-he did just fine solo, you know. But it's been completely different since we play together. It's extraordinary."
Where's Me Jumper? ft. Greg Lestrade | 3
It's all right to say things can only get better / if you haven't just lost your brand new sweater / pure new wool and perfect stitches / not the type of jumper that makes you itch, oh no / and my mother will be so, so angry / and my girlfriend will be so, so angry
"We didn't care about doing a conceptual album, we cared about making it real." John sounds earnest, giving the impression that neither his brain nor his tongue ever stumbled over a cliche. "The day-to-day concerns and annoyances, as well as perks. Greg really gets me there. [Gregory Lestrade, lead singer of "Scotland Yard", constantly collaborates with "221B" on various records since the latter's formation] We come from the same background, even though we didn't know each other while the whole punk thing was going down, but you can be sure we can reminisce. Besides, Greg is about the only other musician whom Sherlock ever lets use his music."
It Is Easy | 4
You are my gun / you know, you can shoot me, it's easy / you wanted a star and I say it is easy / to fly to the sun but I warn you it's freezing
"People are so easy to deduce. Everyone's the same," Sherlock says, with a controlled, brusque wave of one spindly hand. "It is the story that I go for. The person it's happened to is irrelevant."
"It doesn't turn out to be that simple," adds John quickly, eyes softening and mouth hardening in reverse proportion. "It's a work in progress."
Crazy In Love ft. Mike Stamford | 5
When I talk to my friends so quietly / "Who he think he is?" / look at what you've done to me
"Recording this was tremendous fun," John laughs. "Mike Stamford played it with me - he's a mate from way back, when we were just getting our first guitars and jamming anything and everything we remotely liked the sound of. Has Sherlock heard it? Yeah, he has, though he wouldn't have anything to do with it. Ran like it's the plague."
[on the laptop open towards the journalist, the video recording from the studio is playing: Mike Stamford takes both hands off his guitar, looks directly into the camera, and says, in a stage whisper, one thumb pointing back at Sherlock and John, the other hand around his mouth: "They totally are"]
The Idiot's Genius | 6
Viridian green wall's the color that triggers / the relapse that brought on the idiot's genius
"I never stopped being a musician, it's what I am. I invent new things to do with a violin every day, I hadn't been concerned about an audience at all. Since John's here, he's the one who does the talking and the gigs.. I keep doing the music. He helps me carry it."
Supertheory of Supereverything | 7
Put me inside SSC / let's test superstring theory / accelerate the protons / stir it twice and then just add me
"We always make an effort to have guest musicians on our records," Sherlock says, "and by make an effort, I do mean it's a drag. That's why I don't have a band, there's only John. But music happens everywhere, and one has to take advantage of every case of inspiration. I seek out the irregulars, and the result is that you've never heard anything like it. It's the only thing that matters to me."
Tea and Thorazine | 8
I can tell by the way you reach your conclusions / you're the director of a mental institution / oh what a dream life would be if only / it hadn't been for Doctor B.
"Sometimes you really don't need to use your imagination. It's just a bit surpising that we share some of the bits we don't have to imagine," John says, quietly.
Sherlock doesn't nod, just looks at John steadily.
Get Thee Behind Me, London | 9
Oh, you're filled to the brink with fun and excitement / so why don't you tell me why I'm so / I'm so frightfully bored
"I have London imprinted on my brain, I expect things from the city; I like the cogs that fall out of the big machine, I like the damaged parts -- that's my trade."
"Somebody or other said London is a street urchin, unchanged since Dickens," adds John. "London is essential for us, unreliable and essential, so the song is really playing with fire."
Starlings ft. Mycroft Holmes | 10
How dare the Premier ignore my invitations? / he'll have to go / so, too, the bunch he luncheons with / it's second on my list of things to do
"We are not exactly sure how this song ended up on the album..." John shoots Sherlock's sullen profile a worried look. "But Mycroft has a way with things, and sometimes, just sometimes, rivalries, sibling or otherwise, manage not to get in the way. Besides, you can't deny the man's got style, whatever his personal characteristics. The song is amazing, I couldn't let it go, nor could Sherlock."
Caring Is Creepy | 11
Lift the mattress off the floor / walk the cramps off / go meander in the cold / far above our heads are the icy heights that contain all reason
"Emotion clouds judgement, that's what it's about. Everything I think is really already put into the song, so I don't see what there is to add. One has to be fairly cold to be fair."
Happy ft. The Woman | 12
They warn you about killers and thieves in night / I worry about cancer and living right / but my mama never warned me / about my own destructive appetite / or the pitfalls of control
"Irene Adler is the only singer-songwriter that's on par with Sherlock. It's hard to work in an environment when they're constantly sparking off each other, it gets very intense, bordering on self-destructive. That's why we chose this low-key piece to be on our album. The intense stuff will go on Irene's own record, whenever she's back on the map. The disappearing act is part of the creative process. I suppose Sherlock would do the same - had done the same, before."
The Elements (Live) | 13
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium / and hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium / & c.
"I give thanks for every day that goes by without an explosion in the kitchen," John says with a sigh and a pointed eye roll.
Hidden Track | Illegal Tender by Jim Moriarty
You’re taking off your stripes / even your knees are nice / I’ll tease you with a knife until you’re screaming for your life
"I wish he'd stop breaking into our studio, Sherlock."
Sherlock grins.
"Sherlock, it's not funny!"
"Superstition, John, is always funny."
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