Please don't think I'm a jerk
I do not like watching videos about autistic kids. I do not like movies with kids/adults with autism. However, I loved the movie "Loving Lamposts" Its damn adorable. Its a matter of fact movie about people and how they exist with autism.
It's partially jealousy. My kid can't talk, my kid won't ever sing with Katy Perry, and she doesn't like animals enough to get into cows and horses like Temple Grandin. I find Temple adorable too, but I know better. So, with all these kids doing things in spite of their condition, I just feel really fucking sad.
What makes me happy? When my daughter stays with me in a parking lot and doesn't run into traffic. When she tells me she needs the toilet by standing by the bathroom door. Its wonderful when Claire will sit through an entire episode of a cartoon. And even if she's not hungry she loves to sit at the table for a meal with me. Every time I look up at her, she's looking at me with those beautiful eyes. Letting me know she's super happy I'm sitting with her. No one will make a movie of her repetive noises, of how she just loves to run around the backyard giggling, or her playing in the gym at school. Its not amazing to anyone but me and our family. And that's okay because Claire rides her own star.
So, understand please that I don't want to watch kids on videos doing AMAZING things. Its really hard.
I do, on the otherhand, love watching special needs kids at music concerts and school shows just being their own cute selves. Some grab the mircophones and just make noise for the sake of making noise. It becomes part of the experience. They make me laugh so hard.
I'm not always this depressed so sad person because I have stressful child. My daughter can be so silly and she laughs and she loves to snuggle in blankets. That's enough.
It's partially jealousy. My kid can't talk, my kid won't ever sing with Katy Perry, and she doesn't like animals enough to get into cows and horses like Temple Grandin. I find Temple adorable too, but I know better. So, with all these kids doing things in spite of their condition, I just feel really fucking sad.
What makes me happy? When my daughter stays with me in a parking lot and doesn't run into traffic. When she tells me she needs the toilet by standing by the bathroom door. Its wonderful when Claire will sit through an entire episode of a cartoon. And even if she's not hungry she loves to sit at the table for a meal with me. Every time I look up at her, she's looking at me with those beautiful eyes. Letting me know she's super happy I'm sitting with her. No one will make a movie of her repetive noises, of how she just loves to run around the backyard giggling, or her playing in the gym at school. Its not amazing to anyone but me and our family. And that's okay because Claire rides her own star.
So, understand please that I don't want to watch kids on videos doing AMAZING things. Its really hard.
I do, on the otherhand, love watching special needs kids at music concerts and school shows just being their own cute selves. Some grab the mircophones and just make noise for the sake of making noise. It becomes part of the experience. They make me laugh so hard.
I'm not always this depressed so sad person because I have stressful child. My daughter can be so silly and she laughs and she loves to snuggle in blankets. That's enough.