but when I need you baby...
you're never there.
He is an excellent boyfriend, when I'm in the room... but he doesn't give me the attention I need the several days between visits (just like all the other girls before me). When I ask for comfort, he turns to stone. I've been crying all day, and he 'needs some time to think.' Things aren't looking so good. Honestly, if it really isn't in his capacity to talk to me more than fifteen minutes a day or to drop me a line, then I'm not going to be able to make it in this relationship. Gods I love him more than anyone, but I can't keep getting hurt like this... I just can't take it. He is so cold. I begged him to comfort me... begged,,, and he was full of scorn and ice. And he doesn't see anything wrong with it. I think he's one of those people who's addicted to the first part of the relationship, and then he looses interest. He's decided that I'm different than I was in the begining (idealized me I think) so now he's rethinking the whole thing. I can't decide if it would just be better to end it. I don't know what would hurt more -- being with him or being without him. Isn't that why guys always say about girls?
I've been really sick lately. I'm extremely stressed out and depressed. He only likes me when I'm happy. He doesn't like me when I ask for help... although he drops everything to run to the rescue of anyone else who asks for it. I think he wants space. I'm going to leave him alone. I don't think I'm needy... I'm pretty sure I'm not... but I'm going to have to throw some walls up to give him the distance he wants. If this is the end then I'm going to wrap my heart up in so much steel that I never love again. I need the old Katie back. Fuck and run.
He is an excellent boyfriend, when I'm in the room... but he doesn't give me the attention I need the several days between visits (just like all the other girls before me). When I ask for comfort, he turns to stone. I've been crying all day, and he 'needs some time to think.' Things aren't looking so good. Honestly, if it really isn't in his capacity to talk to me more than fifteen minutes a day or to drop me a line, then I'm not going to be able to make it in this relationship. Gods I love him more than anyone, but I can't keep getting hurt like this... I just can't take it. He is so cold. I begged him to comfort me... begged,,, and he was full of scorn and ice. And he doesn't see anything wrong with it. I think he's one of those people who's addicted to the first part of the relationship, and then he looses interest. He's decided that I'm different than I was in the begining (idealized me I think) so now he's rethinking the whole thing. I can't decide if it would just be better to end it. I don't know what would hurt more -- being with him or being without him. Isn't that why guys always say about girls?
I've been really sick lately. I'm extremely stressed out and depressed. He only likes me when I'm happy. He doesn't like me when I ask for help... although he drops everything to run to the rescue of anyone else who asks for it. I think he wants space. I'm going to leave him alone. I don't think I'm needy... I'm pretty sure I'm not... but I'm going to have to throw some walls up to give him the distance he wants. If this is the end then I'm going to wrap my heart up in so much steel that I never love again. I need the old Katie back. Fuck and run.