"Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Season One, Part 2 Reviews (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go!, Batwoman, and Black Lightning, the series finale of Big Hero 6: The Series, and the latest episode of The Blacklist.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "The Puppet Show"
I suspected two things going in, and knowing them made me make a promise to myself. I was 95% sure that this episode was going to be overrated by both the creators and the fans. And I promised myself that wouldn't matter when I'm reviewing it. No matter its quality, I'm going to judge it by my own standards and expectations, not anyone else's. We'll see how I did.
In truth, I still feel the episode is overrated. But it's still the best episode so far. Why? We'll get to that. But it's a well constructed mystery for the viewer, that interests me because it isn't one for the characters. The characters take an awful lot on faith, and even though the audience is given the information they are right to (out of context) Buffy and her friends have no way of knowing that. When Xander suggests they may have been "Keyzer Sozed" for all THEY knew, he could have been right. And they would have been screwed because they would have had no counter to that. But that's for later. We'll get there soon enough.
First, I again object to the idea that there are several murders at the school and the students are not sent home, and school and / or the talent show aren't canceled as a result.
I'll tell you something that shocked me. Principle Snyder was infamous on this show for being the one character with zero redeeming virtues. But I actually liked his first scene. I loathed him as much as I remembered from his second scene forward, but I like that he hears Buffy, Willow, and Xander mocking a teacher's discomforts and punishes them for it. What shocks me is that it actually serves them right. They were being obnoxious brats simply because they knew Giles wouldn't call them on it. Regardless of their relationship to Giles outside of school, they shouldn't be talking to him like that IN school, especially in front of other people. In school he is not their peer or their friend. He's an authority figure. I liked the new principle reacting badly to that and defending his teacher's honor.
Of course in the very next scene Snyder is revealed to be the single worst human dirtbag in the show, but I'm shocked his earliest negative impression of Buffy and friends is actually justified. Did not expect that.
Things Snyder won't tolerate: "Students loitering on campus after school. Horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking." So we know the dude's priorities.
He is also a sufficient red herring and mislead. He's so horrible you wish he's the culprit, which is part of why you might think he is.
Xander and Giles' trick with Cordelia's hair IS kinda neat.
Let's delve in the mystery further. I think it's exceptional as far as the viewer is concerned. In fact, I don't believe I've understood exactly how tight it was, and how impressive its narrative tricks were before this viewing. And one of the reasons I noticed THIS time is because I am aware that the Buffyverse has a problem of telling very unfair mysteries to the viewer, that do not hold up to scrutiny. That is the entirety of the arcs of Season 7 of Buffy and Seasons 3 and 4 of Angel. It is obviously easier to tell a mystery fairly if it only occurs over the course of one episode. But the episode went above and beyond at first glance.
The thing I love is the deliciously brief, out-of-context scene between Sid and Morgan, where Sid is trying to convince Morgan to kill Buffy. Outside of everything else, it means Sid is guilty. Knowing the actual solution means the writers basically figured out a genius way to make a scene of Sid planning Buffy's murder being iron-clad evidence to the audience in hindsight that Sid is actually innocent! Another major clue (which I missed entirely until this viewing) is that when Xander takes Sid to the library, while Giles, Willow, and Xander don't say anything that sounds incriminating to each other, to an outside observer with Sid's mission, the things they are researching, and the fact that they are trying to help Buffy, makes them sound like willing and knowing accomplices to a demon murderer. Now if Sid were slightly smarter, he'd question how and why Demon Buffy could possibly have finagled real human allies, but it works if you accept Sid is under pressure, and believes he's working on a clock. Everything fits.
For the audience. In reality, Buffy was foolish to trust him. Or at least trust him as much she did. I'm not saying her trust was unfounded or unreasonable, but it could have screwed them if she was wrong. And I think her being right is luck more than anything. If Sid had been scamming Buffy (or as Xander put it, Keyser Sozeing her) he said the exact right things. I recently wrote a comic book story involving the fake psychic scam known as "cold reading" which is how John Edward convinces grieving people he can contact their dead loved ones, and why I believe that man is sinister and belongs in jail. But I recognized a lot of what Sid said as consistent with how cold readers get people to believe unlikely stories. One of those ways is to flatter the listener. He tells her he suspected she was the demon because how could not after seeing what she could do? Also playing to Buffy's vanity is Sid claiming to have known and loved a Slayer. The reality is, if Sid WERE Keyser Soze, these are all lies he could have believably made up off the top of his head to cover his tracks. And Buffy would have believed him anyways, even if he were guilty. The audience is given a few ironclad instances that Sid is on the level. Buffy should actually be a LOT less sure of that than she claims to Xander, if she were being more responsible. But she believes Sid is on the level for the same reason people believe in John Edward: He made a seemingly real connection with her. The fact that it WAS real is random luck as far as I'm concerned. He offered no proof, and him disappearing when he did meant Xander's theory should at least have been considered.
I love mysteries that make me pour through minutia, which makes this a good one.
Finally, let's talk about the tag. Probably the most overrated scene in Buffy history. I have been a Buffy fan for a LONG time. I actually used to collect the VHS tapes. The tapes were also woefully inadequately collected and the first 3 seasons essentially only contained the 6 most important episodes to the given season's arc. The last Season 1 tape collected this episode instead of Prophecy Girl which was a mistake beyond all reason.
And the reason given for including it with the tapes is the tag. In 1997 when this aired, networks used to cut off the end credits of programs, and the makers of the tapes assumed people would like to have this for posterity because obviously it would only be aired on the WB the once, and never seen again. But I've seen it aired repeatedly since then, even on the WB. FX aired it in every time it broadcast the episode, so I think the makers of the tapes thought it would be a rarer Easter Egg than it was. And yeah, it's on Hulu with no fuss or muss too.
And you know what? It's not even funny. It's not worth destroying the entire Season One arc just for a 30 second improv from the cast. So that's where I stand.
So yeah, maybe the episode is overpraised for some things. But on another real level (the construction of the mystery) I don't think it's praised enough. ****1/2.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Nightmares"
Ah, the Fear / Nightmare Trope. A better demonstration of it here than most projects. And this is spoken as someone who doesn't really dig the episode. It's boring, but it still used the trope well.
I have a surprisingly significant superficial-sounding complaint. The actor who plays Billy looks FAR too similar to Andrew J. Ferchland. I've seen the episode many times, so I know better, but if it had been a few weeks since you last saw the Anointed One, you might be a little confused about who the kid in the teaser is. The fact that Ferchland is in the episode too doesn't help much. They look that much alike.
If you ever believed Marti Noxon was a terrible writer and showrunner, and should not have been placed in charge of things from Season 6 onward, this episode gives you all the proof of that you need. It is clearly demonstrated here that Buffy has a very real fear of being buried alived, the other characters see that for themselves, and it isn't brought up once in the first three episodes of season 6 (or ever again). Make no mistake: Joss Whedon is not off the hook for this unforgivable oversight either. He actually wrote the story for this specific episode! If he were doing the bare minimum of his job, instead of spending his free time telling the cast and other writers how much he thinks they suck, he would have caught this himself. Season 6 really is unacceptable on every level.
I very much like that idea that when Collin was a mortal boy, his biggest fear was monsters. A child psychologist would have a field day with The Annoying One.
"It's funny if you're me," is a good line. And really unfortunate in hindsight. And almost certainly written by Whedon. Like I said. Unfortunate.
I mentioned this is a great use of the Fear / Nightmare Trope. I love Wendell's fear of spiders. Because he doesn't hate them, he loves them, and his fear come from guilt. That's a very interesting and unusual dynamic which is why this episode uses the trope better than most.
Unfortunately as well written as the tropes are, for a horror episode, the direction is really quite bland. It could have been seen on Degrassi Junior High in the 1980's. That's how basic the school drama is. That's a regular problem for Season 1, but it should not effect the Nightmare episode. It does right by the trope in the writing (rare) and botches the execution (frankly, also rare).
Like "I Robot, You Jane", various misfortunes involving the premise seem to be happening in the background to various never-before-seen characters. Also like that episode, they are mostly played for laughs (the tough kid being embarrassed by his gushy mom is kind of funny).
Kudos to the show for making Cordelia's fears as stupid as they should be.
I am very unimpressed that Xander is the type of person who picks up random candy off the floor and eats it. I don't care that it's already wrapped, he doesn't know where it comes from, or where it's been, so it's totally stupid and nasty.
And he's so stupid he can't even imagine brand-name candy bars.
Willow's stage fright fears were great. Do you know what's ironic? Alyson Hannigan obviously has some real-life hang-ups about her singing voice, so it's kind of funny this was a part of Willow before it ever became an issue in the musical episode.
Buffy as a vampire was interesting. It's played as if that's what she actually is but it doesn't completely track because she never acts or does anything evil. But that describes Spike sometimes when he has a larger agenda of working with the Scoobies. Perhaps evil Buffy thought being human again and saving the day were actually in her best interest. But that still doesn't fully track with the behavior of other vampires.
Still a vampire doing the right and noble thing for entirely selfish reasons is not unheard of. That's that janky raping cretin Spike's entire reason for getting his soul back. I just can quite figure out what Buffy's selfish reasons could possibly be, especially considering how empathetically she still treats Billy.
I'm probably overthinking it, and it was simply badly written. But the problem is that I'm always the guy trying to figure out reasons why what I just saw wasn't actually badly written. It's a definite flaw of mine and I tend to rate bad episodes of something I otherwise like higher than I should because of it. This episode will probably be another example of that.
Do you know what does track? Giles' fear of Buffy dying, and her fears of being buried alive and turning into a vampire compound on and compliment each other beautifully. There is almost an elegance and symmetry to each worsening level of horror there.
Finally, I'm going to go into a bit of depth why the Fear / Nightmare Trope almost never works, at least not for me. I almost never believe it or find it credible.
Most projects are unwilling to give their heroes realistic fears in these types of episodes. Their scenarios are so outlandish and outside of the audience's experience, that you'd think the first thing the character would wonder is if they were dreaming, realize they were, and find the power to fight the nightmare and wake themselves up. The very first time I saw the trope (outside of Star Trek, which has so much crazy stuff going on it doesn't count) was the third episode ever of Batman: The Animated Series, "Nothing To Fear". That episode is utter turd on every level, and it's the biggest reason I think that for the most part, the DC Animated Universe version of Scarecrow is a total dud.
You see, Batman's life is genuinely scary. He deals with life-threatening and horrifying things every night. But that was the era of kids television that believed a hero showing a human emotion like fear is a weakness, rather than something the viewer, young or old can relate to. No, when Scarecrow sics his fear toxic on Batman, Batman isn't afraid of the Joker learning his identity and killing everyone he cares about. He's afraid... Groan, his father, Thomas Wayne would be disappointed in him! Of course! Basically the producers decided the actual scary thing in Batman's life is the idea that he simply isn't awesome ENOUGH! It's a bit disgusting on some level to be truthful. Instead of me thinking Batman brave for not having a life-threatening, or God forbid "unflattering" fear, I'm questioning the World's Great Detective's logical capabilities. He's freaking Batman! There is no part of Thomas Wayne that would ever be ashamed of him and not proud of every inch of him. How dumb is Batman's fear to boil down to bogus insecurity he should already know isn't true? They wanted to give Batman a flattering fear? In truth it makes it so I cannot actually think any less of him. What a dope.
You can argue, "Fears are irrational, and fears don't make sense." Which would be perfectly fine if Batman were a stupid and gullible person. Intelligence-wise he's supposed to be one of the smartest people in the world! And he worries Daddy won't love him for risking his neck every night to save lives and bring criminals to justice in his parents' honor? C'mon, now. How dumb do you think I am? Because you are portraying the World's Greatest Detective as even dumber than that.
The reasons Buffy's fears resonate with me is because I think a lot of them are justified. Not only because stuff like Xander being in his underwear is coming true, but as the series progressed, although we RARELY saw Hank Summers, what we DID see of him leads me to believe he's one of the worst fictional fathers on television. I don't believe Buffy is being a drama queen for her essentially having Batman's same fear. I believe she totally thinks Hank has this in him to actually say to her on a bad day. What makes me angry (and really empathize with Buffy's pain here) is that I think she's right. The guy is never there, and frankly him giving a real reason for cutting ties other than just always refusing to answer the phone would actually be a vast improvement. Basically, as horrible as Buffy's vision of her father is, he's far more present and real in the dream state than he is in reality. I sympathize with Buffy rather than Batman because Batman thinking Thomas Wayne sucks is unforgivable, and Buffy thinking Hank Summers sucks is totally accurate. Did I mention that I love how the episode uses the trope and it's one of the few fictional projects I did? Buffy can't reason herself out of the worst of this stuff because unlike most saps who fall for and believe the dumb things the trope shows them, she has no evidence they are actually untrue. Maybe she'd piece it together quicker knowing a bunch of nightmarish things are happening to everybody else too, but it's credible simply because Hank DOES suck that much, and Buffy always believed he had that in him. And he probably would have said something similar to this at some point if he weren't such a GD coward all the time.
Like I said, the episode handled the premise wonderfully. I'm not giving it five stars though. No TV episode that ever does the awful and lame Wizard of Oz callback at the end deserves that. Four's the best I can do. Sorry. ****.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Out Of Mind... Out Of Sight"
Can you believe it's episode 11 and this is Cordelia's first spotlight? Long overdue.
Her chastising Shakespeare's Shylock for every single thing she herself is guilty of is Cordelia in a nutshell.
I like that Buffy is wistful that she used to be May Queen. Xander isn't selling the "You don't need that, you've got us now," argument very well, is he?
Actually, Xander, the vampire bat joke WAS funny. It borders on criminal no-one else laughed.
"Can you say 'Gulp?'" Another good one.
Principle Snyder is proving to be an effective thorn in the heroes' sides. He's an unneeded complication in scenes that didn't used to have that complication, which makes him an good antagonist. Plus Armin Shimerman makes the dude super easy to hate.
Ultimately, I don't think the invisibility gimmick is believable here. At least not to me. I imagine there are superhero fans who'd dig it. But my problem with the power is the person would always be accidentally knocking into people who don't see them. Marci commits her attacks in crowded public spaces, gets away clean each time, and isn't knocked over flat even once. Xander said it's the superpower he wants the most. It's the one I'd want least. It's the Monkey's Paw of superpowers. It's the one that puts the person in the most unwitting danger without even realizing it until the truck hits them. And it never stops. The episode exploring its abilities without ever even hinting at the alarmingly huge amount of drawbacks means it's failing the premise.
You could argue that maybe Marci doesn't knock people over because she's had the power for so long and mastered it. My opinion is that is not something a person could EVER get used to or master. A ninja maybe. A high school girl? No way.
I loved Xander's line of "Want to come over for dinner? Mom's making her famous phone call to the Chinese place." That's great. It clearly came from a middle-aged comedy writer rather than a high school kid. But that's why it's funny.
Vampires not casting shadows is a form of invisibility. No wonder Angel has Giles spooked. But not being able to see yourself in the mirror is an overrated pleasure.
Do you know what REALLY bums me out about Angel and Giles' first scene? They really like each other! Giles is legitimately grateful to have someone find something as amazing as the Codex for him and I get the sense Angel is never allowed to talk to guys like Giles as a peer. Until now. They don't exactly trust each other yet. But they both trust Buffy and that's good enough. It kills me that Giles is a far bigger advocate for Angel's role as Buffy's helper than Xander ever could be. Especially considering what that vampire butthole is gonna wind up doing to him in season 2 when he turns evil. What a waste of a perfectly good potential bromance.
Cordelia's May Queen acceptance speech is TOO terrible. I know it's supposed to be funny, but there is no way I can sympathize with anything else bad that happens to her in the episode from that point forward. The problem with Season 1 Cordelia is that she simply isn't dumb (or innocent) enough. She's too smart and insightful to be forgiven. She seems to be fully aware of how horrible she is. But believes it's fully justified against whichever lesser being she chooses to bully. Which makes her deplorable rather than funny.
I like Charisma Carpenter's line-reading on "Bait?". I also like Buffy correctly agreeing with Cordy that canceling the celebration is letting Marci win, and that that's wrong because she's way more evil than Cordy herself. What's especially messed up is that it's true.
Cordelia's speech to Buffy about feeling alone is something she believes is a valid explanation for her messed up views and behavior. In reality, it's a blazing indictment of them. Like I said, she's TOO smart. She knows how wrong it is, and does it anyways. That justification to Buffy seemed to justify Marci's actions far more than they would be if Cordy hadn't said it.
I like Marci calling that out for being the manipulative drivel it was when she tried it on her. But as Buffy said, she's a full-on loony. so I can't fully support her disgust with that while she's attempting to carve up and disfigure Cordy's face to horrify future generations of children. Bummer.
FBI guys all around the episode in the background. The show is always good at those kinds of background "set-up" Easter Eggs. They get especially good at them in Season 4. This is a good and rough early example.
Buffy was all "Little late, fellas," to the FBI agents and she was right. They've been on-campus the entire episode. There was no excuse for them to only show up after it was already over.
Like "Teacher's Pet", the episode ends on a twisted and delightful cliffhanger that was never resolved, nor ever intended to be resolved. But the idea of the government having a special ops team of invisible assassins is great. Am I wrong in thinking this probably should have come up in the Initiative arc in Season 4?
This was solid but I found plenty to complain about too. ***1/2.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Prophecy Girl"
The underwhelming end to the teaser with the Master was fun specifically because it was deliberately underwhelming as a joke and wink to the audience. This is definitely the first episode written and directed by Whedon.
Buffy breaking a nail is a callback to the movie. The end of the world is truly nigh for that reason.
This episode is a turning point. It contains the best scene Joss Whedon had ever written up to that point. Granted, Sarah Michelle Gellar did most of the heavy lifting, but the words he gave her were pitch perfect: "I'm 16 years old. I don't want to die." How is it that people were screaming at the unfairness of Sarah Michelle Gellar being snubbed for an Emmy nomination for "The Body" when the truth is she should have been nominated already in Season 1 for this? When she asks if it will hurt my heart breaks. She throws things at Giles when he starts talking about the signs, and she yells at him to tell her her fortune, and that he's useless there with "your books". That's a perfect distillation of the unfairness of the Watcher / Slayer dynamic. Granted, it's no fun for Giles. But just because as Buffy herself says, "That the deal," doesn't mean it's not a totally raw deal.
Xander's invitation to Buffy to the dance it outwardly sweet. But it drives me crazy. He botches what could have been a nice moment for the both of them. When she tells him she doesn't want to ruin what they have, he could have backed down gracefully, said "You have a point", or "Call me if you ever change your mind." Instead he's like, "That's not the point. You either feel something or you don't." That manipulative. He's making Buffy be the bad guy, and he counting his increasingly diminished chances on the fact that's she too nice to be direct with him. But I don't think a "nice guy" backing a girl into a corner deserves niceness. Because he isn't being nice. Frankly this is a lesson I could have probably taken myself earlier in my life and saved myself some grief, but I don't like the fact that stuff like this ALWAYS happens on TV with characters like Xander and the character is never called on it.
What's worse is he's petulant and rude to her after HE forced HER to do that. He not only forced her to be the bad guy, but let her feel and believe she was that every second she had to do it. Some friend.
Frankly when Aeryn called out Stark for this on Farscape, as a person who loved Stark, I was devastated. But she was right to do it, and it also made me admire both her and Farscape. It's not fair that Xander is putting the responsibility to set limits in their relationship entirely on her. I wouldn't even object too much to her feeling her out and seeing where the limits need to be. But he shouldn't be making her set them all herself. That's not fair. If he senses she's uncomfortable, he needs to back up, at least a little. He shouldn't be demanding a definitive answer from her about something she's clearly never even thought about before.
And after all that, he thoughtlessly asks Willow to the dance without once considering how much that would actually hurt her. Because if there is one thing nice guy creeps are good at, it's spreading their nice guy creepiness outwards to infect others around them.
And what bothers me the most is that Xander is Joss Whedon's surrogate character! Whedon speaks though him. And apparently the initial plan was for Buffy and Xander to end up together! He didn't realize with all of the various petty sabotaging Xander has done between Buffy and Angel, including suggesting killing him without talking to him, how bad that would come off as? Am I really supposed to believe the guy who created television's most visible "Nice Guy" creep as his own surrogate is a feminist or an ally? And am I to understand he calls himself that without ever being a single bit aware of how episodes like this make Xander come across?
No, Joss, the problem isn't that people don't get you or your humor. The problem is you are a creep. That's always been the only problem, and why we aren't allowed nice things.
I do have a shameful confession. I have used the line "On a scale of 1 to 10, it sucked" many times. Often in these very reviews. I can only take my bashing and disdain of Xander and Whedon so far as long as I possess the brass to do that. Mea culpa.
I love the scene of Joyce giving Buffy the dress. Best mom ever. Although I think Joyce miscalculated something. She tries to sell the idea of her going to the prom alone and winding up meeting Hank as an example of a happy ending. Considering what a turd Hank is, it might actually be a cautionary tale instead.
I like that Miss Calendar expresses surprise that Buffy is the Vampire Slayer because she's so little. It's funny because it's true. That's only the kind of joke the series could do once it was up and running for a bit. It wouldn't make sense if Gellar hadn't been cast as Buffy yet. Which makes it fun.
The scene with Cordelia and Willow bonding over how annoying and not cute it was the guys were watching cartoons is amazing for how quickly it devolves from humor to appalling horror. The bloody handprint on the TV over the dancing pigs really sells what an actual violation to the kids' safety this actually is. And that's got to be extremely tough to get across in a show where students are routinely murdered every week. But the bloody handprint on the happy pigs sells why Willow is as devastated as she is, even after all this.
"It wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun." Joss Whedon's reputation for perfect dialogue is somewhat overstated, but things like this and Buffy's earlier scene with Angel and Giles are the reasons he has it to begin with.
Also, tell me again why school wasn't canceled after that.
After all that, Willow telling Buffy she likes her dress is why I like Willow. It's a perfectly Willow thing to say.
Again, I don't want to take away too much credit away from Joss Whedon's dialogue writing ability. He IS good. But ultimately it is probably fair to say that a LOT of his career success has to do with pure timing and luck. He is very lucky television was as bad and hackneyed and cliched as it was before he got there. The truth is the line, "Tell him... Think of something clever, and tell him I said it," is not particularly smart or clever as far as writing dialogue goes. But Whedon is the first guy ever to make that specific obvious joke so it seems like the most brilliant thing ever. Whedon's star only really started to diminish once people as good or better at this than he was started to give him competition. When the most famous TV writers from this era is a jackass like David E Kelly, who won shelffuls of Emmys despite being the worst fictional writer of the 1980's and 1990's, Whedon had the medium and the entire playing field to himself for two or three solid years. And people complaining about Whedon never winning an Emmy never really understand why it doesn't bother me. Those idiots gave Kelly, a writer who is basically a cautionary tale in every single aspect of how you should NOT write a script, boatloads of Emmys for multiple terrible series. I don't think Breaking Bad nabbing the Emmys even matters nowadays. After Kelly fooled the organization so long into believing he could pass for a good scriptwriter, writing Emmys are meaningless and not worth winning. Whedon never winning and only being nominated once is actually a career selling point if you ask me. Twin Peaks was shut out too. The Emmys don't reward great television. They reward easy television. What's amazing is that that line makes the impact it does because it's effortless. Because TV was so bad it never occurred to anyone else before Whedon wrote it. So Whedon saying a very funny but obvious joke makes him the hottest writer in Hollywood. And that's largely due to luck. If television were at the current quality it is now in 1997-99 Whedon would get practically no attention or traction. But his success involves writing great scenes when no-one else was even writing good ones. And never winning anything because none of his shows had a creepy dancing baby.
Whedon never needed to be great to catch fire the way he did. He just needed to be good when nothing else was. And yeah, that's what happened.
I think this next bit might be a plot-hole on Joss Whedon's part, but I'm going to choose to believe it was deliberate. But when Buffy tells the Anointed One she knows who he is, you can assume that the prophecy was botched by Joss himself, and he didn't keep the story consistent enough to make what he planned in episode 5 go down the way it should have. Whether that is true or not (and I suspect it's true) I choose to view it as a happy accident instead. If that huge a part of the prophecy is so clearly wrong, isn't it possible that Buffy's death is being misinterpreted too? And the reason I will give the episode that benefit of the doubt, is because that's what happened. I choose to believe a sloppy mistake is clever foreshadowing instead. Because despite all my negative reviews of various things, I like finding reasons to like a project rather than excuses to hate it. The notion that prophecies are not all they are cracked up to be gives me a reason to actually like the Annointed One's inconsistent arc. And that's just fine with me.
I like that Xander and Willow are all "Do you mind?" to Miss Calendar and wondering why she's now in the club. It's actually a fair question.
The Locutus of Borg reference is so great because it's the first time I had ever seen a pop-culture reference to the Borg from Star Trek: The Next Generation. That made the joke matter to me when I first saw it back in the day.
As much as I hate Xander in the episode, him thrusting the cross at Angel and saying he didn't like him was cool, as was him asking him to prove Buffy right that he's a person. Xander is such a manipulative bunghole earlier on. I can actually like him when he's direct.
I love that the Hellmouth opens directly in the high school library. That's something I have always loved.
Speaking of great dialogue, the Master dryly disparaging the "feeble banter" portion of the fight is not great dialogue (and the feeble banter actually IS feeble). But Joss is the first guy to do the joke, so he has the playing field entirely to himself, and it seemed like genius at the time. The credit belongs to him for something Dan Harmon or Vince Gilligan could have pooped out in their sleep today. The guy was super lucky everyone else was so bad at this.
The Master taunting Buffy that he needed her there to escape in the first place was a great and horrifying moment. He seems to have similar mesmerizing and telekinetic powers as Dracula in Season 5. I also liked her echoing that he liked her dress after he kills her and she drops dead face-first into the water. Although unlike Willow, it's cold-blooded rather than cute when he says it.
I like Buffy telling the Master he has fruit punch mouth. THAT is a perfectly Buffy thing to say.
Yeah, yeah, Angel, everyone likes the dress.
I don't like the idea that Xander saves the day by giving Buffy the Prince Charming kiss. I don't like that subtext one bit.
The Master is so old that when he's dusted he leaves behind his bones. There's a Yo Momma snap in there somewhere. I'm sure of it.
His slo-mo walking outside WAS pretty epic. Nice moment.
This is the best episode so far, and arguably the first great one. But do you know what? The score still totally sucks! It's bad when the only music cue that really lands is when they play the Nerd Herder theme during the climactic Power Walk. I think this great episode would have been even better had Christophe Beck been around to score it. Still, great. *****.
Teen Titans Go! "BBRAEBDAY"
In theory My Super Sweet 16 is kind of a dated thing to parody. But in reality, it was truly one of the most reprehensible television programs that ever existed, therefore it can never actually have enough shade thrown at it. Some messages are timeless, and that show, essentially about the coming of age of a generation of Karens, is something MTV should never live down.
I liked that Raven's Grandmama calls her Rachel.
I actually thought Beast Boy's bike wish was cool.
Pretty good episode, and skewering of a show that remains especially terrible in hindsight. ****.
Teen Titans Go! "Real Art"
I like Rainbow Raider. His powers are cool. I liked his plan to destroy the art by exposing it to flash photography a million times.
I knew he was the one who painted the cat painting.
I cringed when Beast Boy and Cyborg defaced the Mona Lisa. Spray paint and tacks are worse than camera lightbulbs.
Funny. ****1/2.
Batwoman "Fair Skin, Blue Eyes"
"How did you find him?" "Easy. I looked."
I'm very much digging the series leaning into social issues and exploring racial inequality. Sets it apart from the other Arrowverse stuff. Even Black Lightning seems less concerned about the homeless and invisible. But it's nice to looks at these types of issues using a different perspective than Jefferson Pierce's. And Ryan's seems very different indeed.
I am looking forward to learning more about Ryan and Dominque's backstory.
I am amused and revolted that Alice is the type of person who takes a piece of fruit out of someone's fridge, licks it, and puts it back. It's a great and instructive character moment, which I had to rewind to make sure it was what it was, because it wasn't commented on further, which is hilarious. Sometime in the near future, Sophie is gonna eat that fruit. Gross.
I think the thing in the episode, (and the series) I really am getting fed up with is the radio lady Vespa played by Rachel Maddow. She makes terrible puns using obvious line readings, and makes the entire show feel cheesier and cornier than it is. I like Rachel Maddow. But she's not hip and trendy, never was, and trying to get her to talk like she is hits the ear completely wrong.
But the rest of the episode was pretty neat. ****.
Black Lightning "The Book Of Reconstruction: Chapter Two: Unacceptable Losses"
The fact that half of the characters annoyed me beyond belief doesn't actually change the fact that this was a good episode.
I'm specifically speaking of Tobias and Lynn. We'll talk about Tobias now and get to Lynn later on.
I think Tobias Whale is one of the current worst fictional villains on television. And that is 100% down to the writers. There is nothing wrong with Marvin Krondon's performance. It's the things he is asked to say and do that are the actual problem.
My problem with Tobias is the exact problem I had with Penguin on Gotham. He's an idiot. He's billed at the series mastermind and continually makes rookie stupid moves that a half credible mob boss would steer clear of and not entertain in a million years. I am not a master criminal. And even I know what he said to Jefferson was the stupidest thing anyone in his position could ever say.
Here is the reality: For all intents and purposes, Whale has won. The only thing he needs to say regarding Jefferson is "Hey, dude, no hard feelings, but if you stay out of MY way, I'll stay out of yours. Otherwise your secret is blown." That is the ONLY conversation they needed to have. Jefferson is the one person in his family who doesn't want to kill Tobias to simplify matters, and all Tobias is doing by threatening his family is proving his family right and getting him used to the idea. When you are on top, that is when stability is your friend. What's amazing and amazingly stupid to me is he doesn't even have to be sincere if he offered a truce to Jefferson. He could secretly work against him the entire time and that's still competent bad guying. But he makes Jefferson raise his guard the very minute he's thrown in the towel. And this specific kind of stupidity, of refusing to take to the win, and refusing to leave well enough alone which is why Tobias Whale is currently the stupidest fictional villain on television. And I shouldn't be the only one complaining about this. For the Big Bad of the series, he is startlingly incompetent. And what infuriates me is that the writers made him that way and made it so that he's winning too. That's unacceptable.
Other things. I immediately like Darius. I like the way Nyssa charmingly told him she was gay to completely destroy whatever nervousness he was feeling around her. I also like that his current problem is that he's mourning his dog. That is a common, real problem. That televsion NEVER portrays. Big props to the series for doing it. It's a tough thing to go through, and this is literally the first TV show I've seen make an unknown character struggle with it.
Whatever the Pierce's pay the therapist, it's not enough. She's amazing. I think she will be able to help Jefferson. And I mentioned Lynn was annoying,. I also think she's beyond help at this point. When it's revealed she doesn't have any friends or hobbies, I don't consider her driven or focused. What she is is boring. I love the girls telling her to "stay in her lane". Very justifiably rude way to put that. Here is an even MORE unkind opinion. If they didn't know she was going out at night and were simply referring to her judgments and nagging for when they do, that would also be an acceptable "Mind your own business" moment for me. Why is Lynn even with Jefferson? None of the family seem to actually like her. I tolerated her in the first three seasons for Jefferson's sake, but at this point I believe Jeff and the girls would be better off without her. Jen had the exact right word for her: She's a "liability". Big time. While she is screaming at her daughters about how everything they do is wrong and is going to get them killed, she herself is going to be the one winding up getting them killed. The ways things currently are is unsustainable. Something has to give.
Speaking of which, Blackbird negotiating the truce between Kobra and the 100 shows the unique value of Blackbird among the heroes. Thunder certainly wouldn't have the credibility to do that. I really like that not only does Nyssa have two superhero identifies that no bad guys have tied together as of yet, but that they serve two entirely different yet equally important purposes.
I found the earnestness in which Lala vows to kill all of his enemies alarming in its absolute sincerity. I do not want to ever be considered that entirely crazy man's enemy. Did I say crazy man? I meant lovely man. You'll tell him I said that, right?
For the record, I know Jefferson himself didn't call him on it, but Gambi's white. He shouldn't be using the word "thug" in the context he is, whether Jefferson knows what he means or not. It hits the ear wrong because it's wrong for a woke white man to use that word describing a black man in ANY context. Just for the record.
So that held my interest. I was angry with it in a lot of places, but I liked the anger I was feeling. I was angry for the right reasons (not counting Tobias who unambiguously sucks). ****.
Big Hero 6: The Series "Krei-oke Night / The Mascot Upshot"
Krei-oke Night:
As a rule, musical episodes almost always suck. While this wasn't a great episode, as far as musicals go, it didn't suck. Probably because they didn't artificially stretch the premise to find a supernatural explanation for the musical numbers. Everybody's just singing Karaoke.
It is unsurprising to me Maya Rudolph is a good singer. She strikes me as one of those performers like Kristen Bell who can literally do anything.
Not bad. ***1/2.
The Mascot Upshot:
Acceptable. That's enough. That's all I needed.
I expect mass disappointment from the fans from this. I do not want to say that satisfying series finales for kids cartoons are a very recent phenomena, and still a bit unusual. But the truth is when I was a kid, cartoons never had them. They just stopped. Not through a cliffhanger or anything, they just stopped making episodes.
As far as cartoons go, that was a fine stopping point. The mascots are rehabilitated, and so are all of the villains I care about. The show did its job whether the last season underwhelmed or not. There's not much left to tell, which is why this is a good stopping place.
I will understand there will be people disappointed in this. But I don't think kids cartoon actually NEED satisfying wrap-ups (as a rule). There are exceptions for some serious action shows, but light stuff like Big Hero 6 is allowed to simply end, and I'll be cool with it. I think if you aren't cool with it, you've kind of been misreading the tone of the show and judging it by other recent cartoons. A small, no-big-deal ending is consistent with how light and fluffy the superheroics always are. And that's good enough for me. ****1/2.
The Blacklist "The Fribourg Confidence"
Back in the day I always thought William Ragsdale would have had a bigger career after Herman's Head than he actually did. Still nice to see him getting work.
Liz freeing the Architect shows she's a bad guy now. Kudos for Red for being the only one to see the obvious that that is what was happening.
I liked Red and Ann's meet/cute at the end.
The judge throwing out the case due to learning the truth about Reddington shows what a double-edged sword people in power knowing the actual truth is. For many people, it won't actually convince them. It will do the opposite. About time we've seen some of that.
Good, especially considering what a hot mess the rest of the season has been. Although Liz wasn't in it. Which is probably the main reason I liked it. ****.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "The Puppet Show"
I suspected two things going in, and knowing them made me make a promise to myself. I was 95% sure that this episode was going to be overrated by both the creators and the fans. And I promised myself that wouldn't matter when I'm reviewing it. No matter its quality, I'm going to judge it by my own standards and expectations, not anyone else's. We'll see how I did.
In truth, I still feel the episode is overrated. But it's still the best episode so far. Why? We'll get to that. But it's a well constructed mystery for the viewer, that interests me because it isn't one for the characters. The characters take an awful lot on faith, and even though the audience is given the information they are right to (out of context) Buffy and her friends have no way of knowing that. When Xander suggests they may have been "Keyzer Sozed" for all THEY knew, he could have been right. And they would have been screwed because they would have had no counter to that. But that's for later. We'll get there soon enough.
First, I again object to the idea that there are several murders at the school and the students are not sent home, and school and / or the talent show aren't canceled as a result.
I'll tell you something that shocked me. Principle Snyder was infamous on this show for being the one character with zero redeeming virtues. But I actually liked his first scene. I loathed him as much as I remembered from his second scene forward, but I like that he hears Buffy, Willow, and Xander mocking a teacher's discomforts and punishes them for it. What shocks me is that it actually serves them right. They were being obnoxious brats simply because they knew Giles wouldn't call them on it. Regardless of their relationship to Giles outside of school, they shouldn't be talking to him like that IN school, especially in front of other people. In school he is not their peer or their friend. He's an authority figure. I liked the new principle reacting badly to that and defending his teacher's honor.
Of course in the very next scene Snyder is revealed to be the single worst human dirtbag in the show, but I'm shocked his earliest negative impression of Buffy and friends is actually justified. Did not expect that.
Things Snyder won't tolerate: "Students loitering on campus after school. Horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking." So we know the dude's priorities.
He is also a sufficient red herring and mislead. He's so horrible you wish he's the culprit, which is part of why you might think he is.
Xander and Giles' trick with Cordelia's hair IS kinda neat.
Let's delve in the mystery further. I think it's exceptional as far as the viewer is concerned. In fact, I don't believe I've understood exactly how tight it was, and how impressive its narrative tricks were before this viewing. And one of the reasons I noticed THIS time is because I am aware that the Buffyverse has a problem of telling very unfair mysteries to the viewer, that do not hold up to scrutiny. That is the entirety of the arcs of Season 7 of Buffy and Seasons 3 and 4 of Angel. It is obviously easier to tell a mystery fairly if it only occurs over the course of one episode. But the episode went above and beyond at first glance.
The thing I love is the deliciously brief, out-of-context scene between Sid and Morgan, where Sid is trying to convince Morgan to kill Buffy. Outside of everything else, it means Sid is guilty. Knowing the actual solution means the writers basically figured out a genius way to make a scene of Sid planning Buffy's murder being iron-clad evidence to the audience in hindsight that Sid is actually innocent! Another major clue (which I missed entirely until this viewing) is that when Xander takes Sid to the library, while Giles, Willow, and Xander don't say anything that sounds incriminating to each other, to an outside observer with Sid's mission, the things they are researching, and the fact that they are trying to help Buffy, makes them sound like willing and knowing accomplices to a demon murderer. Now if Sid were slightly smarter, he'd question how and why Demon Buffy could possibly have finagled real human allies, but it works if you accept Sid is under pressure, and believes he's working on a clock. Everything fits.
For the audience. In reality, Buffy was foolish to trust him. Or at least trust him as much she did. I'm not saying her trust was unfounded or unreasonable, but it could have screwed them if she was wrong. And I think her being right is luck more than anything. If Sid had been scamming Buffy (or as Xander put it, Keyser Sozeing her) he said the exact right things. I recently wrote a comic book story involving the fake psychic scam known as "cold reading" which is how John Edward convinces grieving people he can contact their dead loved ones, and why I believe that man is sinister and belongs in jail. But I recognized a lot of what Sid said as consistent with how cold readers get people to believe unlikely stories. One of those ways is to flatter the listener. He tells her he suspected she was the demon because how could not after seeing what she could do? Also playing to Buffy's vanity is Sid claiming to have known and loved a Slayer. The reality is, if Sid WERE Keyser Soze, these are all lies he could have believably made up off the top of his head to cover his tracks. And Buffy would have believed him anyways, even if he were guilty. The audience is given a few ironclad instances that Sid is on the level. Buffy should actually be a LOT less sure of that than she claims to Xander, if she were being more responsible. But she believes Sid is on the level for the same reason people believe in John Edward: He made a seemingly real connection with her. The fact that it WAS real is random luck as far as I'm concerned. He offered no proof, and him disappearing when he did meant Xander's theory should at least have been considered.
I love mysteries that make me pour through minutia, which makes this a good one.
Finally, let's talk about the tag. Probably the most overrated scene in Buffy history. I have been a Buffy fan for a LONG time. I actually used to collect the VHS tapes. The tapes were also woefully inadequately collected and the first 3 seasons essentially only contained the 6 most important episodes to the given season's arc. The last Season 1 tape collected this episode instead of Prophecy Girl which was a mistake beyond all reason.
And the reason given for including it with the tapes is the tag. In 1997 when this aired, networks used to cut off the end credits of programs, and the makers of the tapes assumed people would like to have this for posterity because obviously it would only be aired on the WB the once, and never seen again. But I've seen it aired repeatedly since then, even on the WB. FX aired it in every time it broadcast the episode, so I think the makers of the tapes thought it would be a rarer Easter Egg than it was. And yeah, it's on Hulu with no fuss or muss too.
And you know what? It's not even funny. It's not worth destroying the entire Season One arc just for a 30 second improv from the cast. So that's where I stand.
So yeah, maybe the episode is overpraised for some things. But on another real level (the construction of the mystery) I don't think it's praised enough. ****1/2.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Nightmares"
Ah, the Fear / Nightmare Trope. A better demonstration of it here than most projects. And this is spoken as someone who doesn't really dig the episode. It's boring, but it still used the trope well.
I have a surprisingly significant superficial-sounding complaint. The actor who plays Billy looks FAR too similar to Andrew J. Ferchland. I've seen the episode many times, so I know better, but if it had been a few weeks since you last saw the Anointed One, you might be a little confused about who the kid in the teaser is. The fact that Ferchland is in the episode too doesn't help much. They look that much alike.
If you ever believed Marti Noxon was a terrible writer and showrunner, and should not have been placed in charge of things from Season 6 onward, this episode gives you all the proof of that you need. It is clearly demonstrated here that Buffy has a very real fear of being buried alived, the other characters see that for themselves, and it isn't brought up once in the first three episodes of season 6 (or ever again). Make no mistake: Joss Whedon is not off the hook for this unforgivable oversight either. He actually wrote the story for this specific episode! If he were doing the bare minimum of his job, instead of spending his free time telling the cast and other writers how much he thinks they suck, he would have caught this himself. Season 6 really is unacceptable on every level.
I very much like that idea that when Collin was a mortal boy, his biggest fear was monsters. A child psychologist would have a field day with The Annoying One.
"It's funny if you're me," is a good line. And really unfortunate in hindsight. And almost certainly written by Whedon. Like I said. Unfortunate.
I mentioned this is a great use of the Fear / Nightmare Trope. I love Wendell's fear of spiders. Because he doesn't hate them, he loves them, and his fear come from guilt. That's a very interesting and unusual dynamic which is why this episode uses the trope better than most.
Unfortunately as well written as the tropes are, for a horror episode, the direction is really quite bland. It could have been seen on Degrassi Junior High in the 1980's. That's how basic the school drama is. That's a regular problem for Season 1, but it should not effect the Nightmare episode. It does right by the trope in the writing (rare) and botches the execution (frankly, also rare).
Like "I Robot, You Jane", various misfortunes involving the premise seem to be happening in the background to various never-before-seen characters. Also like that episode, they are mostly played for laughs (the tough kid being embarrassed by his gushy mom is kind of funny).
Kudos to the show for making Cordelia's fears as stupid as they should be.
I am very unimpressed that Xander is the type of person who picks up random candy off the floor and eats it. I don't care that it's already wrapped, he doesn't know where it comes from, or where it's been, so it's totally stupid and nasty.
And he's so stupid he can't even imagine brand-name candy bars.
Willow's stage fright fears were great. Do you know what's ironic? Alyson Hannigan obviously has some real-life hang-ups about her singing voice, so it's kind of funny this was a part of Willow before it ever became an issue in the musical episode.
Buffy as a vampire was interesting. It's played as if that's what she actually is but it doesn't completely track because she never acts or does anything evil. But that describes Spike sometimes when he has a larger agenda of working with the Scoobies. Perhaps evil Buffy thought being human again and saving the day were actually in her best interest. But that still doesn't fully track with the behavior of other vampires.
Still a vampire doing the right and noble thing for entirely selfish reasons is not unheard of. That's that janky raping cretin Spike's entire reason for getting his soul back. I just can quite figure out what Buffy's selfish reasons could possibly be, especially considering how empathetically she still treats Billy.
I'm probably overthinking it, and it was simply badly written. But the problem is that I'm always the guy trying to figure out reasons why what I just saw wasn't actually badly written. It's a definite flaw of mine and I tend to rate bad episodes of something I otherwise like higher than I should because of it. This episode will probably be another example of that.
Do you know what does track? Giles' fear of Buffy dying, and her fears of being buried alive and turning into a vampire compound on and compliment each other beautifully. There is almost an elegance and symmetry to each worsening level of horror there.
Finally, I'm going to go into a bit of depth why the Fear / Nightmare Trope almost never works, at least not for me. I almost never believe it or find it credible.
Most projects are unwilling to give their heroes realistic fears in these types of episodes. Their scenarios are so outlandish and outside of the audience's experience, that you'd think the first thing the character would wonder is if they were dreaming, realize they were, and find the power to fight the nightmare and wake themselves up. The very first time I saw the trope (outside of Star Trek, which has so much crazy stuff going on it doesn't count) was the third episode ever of Batman: The Animated Series, "Nothing To Fear". That episode is utter turd on every level, and it's the biggest reason I think that for the most part, the DC Animated Universe version of Scarecrow is a total dud.
You see, Batman's life is genuinely scary. He deals with life-threatening and horrifying things every night. But that was the era of kids television that believed a hero showing a human emotion like fear is a weakness, rather than something the viewer, young or old can relate to. No, when Scarecrow sics his fear toxic on Batman, Batman isn't afraid of the Joker learning his identity and killing everyone he cares about. He's afraid... Groan, his father, Thomas Wayne would be disappointed in him! Of course! Basically the producers decided the actual scary thing in Batman's life is the idea that he simply isn't awesome ENOUGH! It's a bit disgusting on some level to be truthful. Instead of me thinking Batman brave for not having a life-threatening, or God forbid "unflattering" fear, I'm questioning the World's Great Detective's logical capabilities. He's freaking Batman! There is no part of Thomas Wayne that would ever be ashamed of him and not proud of every inch of him. How dumb is Batman's fear to boil down to bogus insecurity he should already know isn't true? They wanted to give Batman a flattering fear? In truth it makes it so I cannot actually think any less of him. What a dope.
You can argue, "Fears are irrational, and fears don't make sense." Which would be perfectly fine if Batman were a stupid and gullible person. Intelligence-wise he's supposed to be one of the smartest people in the world! And he worries Daddy won't love him for risking his neck every night to save lives and bring criminals to justice in his parents' honor? C'mon, now. How dumb do you think I am? Because you are portraying the World's Greatest Detective as even dumber than that.
The reasons Buffy's fears resonate with me is because I think a lot of them are justified. Not only because stuff like Xander being in his underwear is coming true, but as the series progressed, although we RARELY saw Hank Summers, what we DID see of him leads me to believe he's one of the worst fictional fathers on television. I don't believe Buffy is being a drama queen for her essentially having Batman's same fear. I believe she totally thinks Hank has this in him to actually say to her on a bad day. What makes me angry (and really empathize with Buffy's pain here) is that I think she's right. The guy is never there, and frankly him giving a real reason for cutting ties other than just always refusing to answer the phone would actually be a vast improvement. Basically, as horrible as Buffy's vision of her father is, he's far more present and real in the dream state than he is in reality. I sympathize with Buffy rather than Batman because Batman thinking Thomas Wayne sucks is unforgivable, and Buffy thinking Hank Summers sucks is totally accurate. Did I mention that I love how the episode uses the trope and it's one of the few fictional projects I did? Buffy can't reason herself out of the worst of this stuff because unlike most saps who fall for and believe the dumb things the trope shows them, she has no evidence they are actually untrue. Maybe she'd piece it together quicker knowing a bunch of nightmarish things are happening to everybody else too, but it's credible simply because Hank DOES suck that much, and Buffy always believed he had that in him. And he probably would have said something similar to this at some point if he weren't such a GD coward all the time.
Like I said, the episode handled the premise wonderfully. I'm not giving it five stars though. No TV episode that ever does the awful and lame Wizard of Oz callback at the end deserves that. Four's the best I can do. Sorry. ****.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Out Of Mind... Out Of Sight"
Can you believe it's episode 11 and this is Cordelia's first spotlight? Long overdue.
Her chastising Shakespeare's Shylock for every single thing she herself is guilty of is Cordelia in a nutshell.
I like that Buffy is wistful that she used to be May Queen. Xander isn't selling the "You don't need that, you've got us now," argument very well, is he?
Actually, Xander, the vampire bat joke WAS funny. It borders on criminal no-one else laughed.
"Can you say 'Gulp?'" Another good one.
Principle Snyder is proving to be an effective thorn in the heroes' sides. He's an unneeded complication in scenes that didn't used to have that complication, which makes him an good antagonist. Plus Armin Shimerman makes the dude super easy to hate.
Ultimately, I don't think the invisibility gimmick is believable here. At least not to me. I imagine there are superhero fans who'd dig it. But my problem with the power is the person would always be accidentally knocking into people who don't see them. Marci commits her attacks in crowded public spaces, gets away clean each time, and isn't knocked over flat even once. Xander said it's the superpower he wants the most. It's the one I'd want least. It's the Monkey's Paw of superpowers. It's the one that puts the person in the most unwitting danger without even realizing it until the truck hits them. And it never stops. The episode exploring its abilities without ever even hinting at the alarmingly huge amount of drawbacks means it's failing the premise.
You could argue that maybe Marci doesn't knock people over because she's had the power for so long and mastered it. My opinion is that is not something a person could EVER get used to or master. A ninja maybe. A high school girl? No way.
I loved Xander's line of "Want to come over for dinner? Mom's making her famous phone call to the Chinese place." That's great. It clearly came from a middle-aged comedy writer rather than a high school kid. But that's why it's funny.
Vampires not casting shadows is a form of invisibility. No wonder Angel has Giles spooked. But not being able to see yourself in the mirror is an overrated pleasure.
Do you know what REALLY bums me out about Angel and Giles' first scene? They really like each other! Giles is legitimately grateful to have someone find something as amazing as the Codex for him and I get the sense Angel is never allowed to talk to guys like Giles as a peer. Until now. They don't exactly trust each other yet. But they both trust Buffy and that's good enough. It kills me that Giles is a far bigger advocate for Angel's role as Buffy's helper than Xander ever could be. Especially considering what that vampire butthole is gonna wind up doing to him in season 2 when he turns evil. What a waste of a perfectly good potential bromance.
Cordelia's May Queen acceptance speech is TOO terrible. I know it's supposed to be funny, but there is no way I can sympathize with anything else bad that happens to her in the episode from that point forward. The problem with Season 1 Cordelia is that she simply isn't dumb (or innocent) enough. She's too smart and insightful to be forgiven. She seems to be fully aware of how horrible she is. But believes it's fully justified against whichever lesser being she chooses to bully. Which makes her deplorable rather than funny.
I like Charisma Carpenter's line-reading on "Bait?". I also like Buffy correctly agreeing with Cordy that canceling the celebration is letting Marci win, and that that's wrong because she's way more evil than Cordy herself. What's especially messed up is that it's true.
Cordelia's speech to Buffy about feeling alone is something she believes is a valid explanation for her messed up views and behavior. In reality, it's a blazing indictment of them. Like I said, she's TOO smart. She knows how wrong it is, and does it anyways. That justification to Buffy seemed to justify Marci's actions far more than they would be if Cordy hadn't said it.
I like Marci calling that out for being the manipulative drivel it was when she tried it on her. But as Buffy said, she's a full-on loony. so I can't fully support her disgust with that while she's attempting to carve up and disfigure Cordy's face to horrify future generations of children. Bummer.
FBI guys all around the episode in the background. The show is always good at those kinds of background "set-up" Easter Eggs. They get especially good at them in Season 4. This is a good and rough early example.
Buffy was all "Little late, fellas," to the FBI agents and she was right. They've been on-campus the entire episode. There was no excuse for them to only show up after it was already over.
Like "Teacher's Pet", the episode ends on a twisted and delightful cliffhanger that was never resolved, nor ever intended to be resolved. But the idea of the government having a special ops team of invisible assassins is great. Am I wrong in thinking this probably should have come up in the Initiative arc in Season 4?
This was solid but I found plenty to complain about too. ***1/2.
Buffy The Vampire Slayer "Prophecy Girl"
The underwhelming end to the teaser with the Master was fun specifically because it was deliberately underwhelming as a joke and wink to the audience. This is definitely the first episode written and directed by Whedon.
Buffy breaking a nail is a callback to the movie. The end of the world is truly nigh for that reason.
This episode is a turning point. It contains the best scene Joss Whedon had ever written up to that point. Granted, Sarah Michelle Gellar did most of the heavy lifting, but the words he gave her were pitch perfect: "I'm 16 years old. I don't want to die." How is it that people were screaming at the unfairness of Sarah Michelle Gellar being snubbed for an Emmy nomination for "The Body" when the truth is she should have been nominated already in Season 1 for this? When she asks if it will hurt my heart breaks. She throws things at Giles when he starts talking about the signs, and she yells at him to tell her her fortune, and that he's useless there with "your books". That's a perfect distillation of the unfairness of the Watcher / Slayer dynamic. Granted, it's no fun for Giles. But just because as Buffy herself says, "That the deal," doesn't mean it's not a totally raw deal.
Xander's invitation to Buffy to the dance it outwardly sweet. But it drives me crazy. He botches what could have been a nice moment for the both of them. When she tells him she doesn't want to ruin what they have, he could have backed down gracefully, said "You have a point", or "Call me if you ever change your mind." Instead he's like, "That's not the point. You either feel something or you don't." That manipulative. He's making Buffy be the bad guy, and he counting his increasingly diminished chances on the fact that's she too nice to be direct with him. But I don't think a "nice guy" backing a girl into a corner deserves niceness. Because he isn't being nice. Frankly this is a lesson I could have probably taken myself earlier in my life and saved myself some grief, but I don't like the fact that stuff like this ALWAYS happens on TV with characters like Xander and the character is never called on it.
What's worse is he's petulant and rude to her after HE forced HER to do that. He not only forced her to be the bad guy, but let her feel and believe she was that every second she had to do it. Some friend.
Frankly when Aeryn called out Stark for this on Farscape, as a person who loved Stark, I was devastated. But she was right to do it, and it also made me admire both her and Farscape. It's not fair that Xander is putting the responsibility to set limits in their relationship entirely on her. I wouldn't even object too much to her feeling her out and seeing where the limits need to be. But he shouldn't be making her set them all herself. That's not fair. If he senses she's uncomfortable, he needs to back up, at least a little. He shouldn't be demanding a definitive answer from her about something she's clearly never even thought about before.
And after all that, he thoughtlessly asks Willow to the dance without once considering how much that would actually hurt her. Because if there is one thing nice guy creeps are good at, it's spreading their nice guy creepiness outwards to infect others around them.
And what bothers me the most is that Xander is Joss Whedon's surrogate character! Whedon speaks though him. And apparently the initial plan was for Buffy and Xander to end up together! He didn't realize with all of the various petty sabotaging Xander has done between Buffy and Angel, including suggesting killing him without talking to him, how bad that would come off as? Am I really supposed to believe the guy who created television's most visible "Nice Guy" creep as his own surrogate is a feminist or an ally? And am I to understand he calls himself that without ever being a single bit aware of how episodes like this make Xander come across?
No, Joss, the problem isn't that people don't get you or your humor. The problem is you are a creep. That's always been the only problem, and why we aren't allowed nice things.
I do have a shameful confession. I have used the line "On a scale of 1 to 10, it sucked" many times. Often in these very reviews. I can only take my bashing and disdain of Xander and Whedon so far as long as I possess the brass to do that. Mea culpa.
I love the scene of Joyce giving Buffy the dress. Best mom ever. Although I think Joyce miscalculated something. She tries to sell the idea of her going to the prom alone and winding up meeting Hank as an example of a happy ending. Considering what a turd Hank is, it might actually be a cautionary tale instead.
I like that Miss Calendar expresses surprise that Buffy is the Vampire Slayer because she's so little. It's funny because it's true. That's only the kind of joke the series could do once it was up and running for a bit. It wouldn't make sense if Gellar hadn't been cast as Buffy yet. Which makes it fun.
The scene with Cordelia and Willow bonding over how annoying and not cute it was the guys were watching cartoons is amazing for how quickly it devolves from humor to appalling horror. The bloody handprint on the TV over the dancing pigs really sells what an actual violation to the kids' safety this actually is. And that's got to be extremely tough to get across in a show where students are routinely murdered every week. But the bloody handprint on the happy pigs sells why Willow is as devastated as she is, even after all this.
"It wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun." Joss Whedon's reputation for perfect dialogue is somewhat overstated, but things like this and Buffy's earlier scene with Angel and Giles are the reasons he has it to begin with.
Also, tell me again why school wasn't canceled after that.
After all that, Willow telling Buffy she likes her dress is why I like Willow. It's a perfectly Willow thing to say.
Again, I don't want to take away too much credit away from Joss Whedon's dialogue writing ability. He IS good. But ultimately it is probably fair to say that a LOT of his career success has to do with pure timing and luck. He is very lucky television was as bad and hackneyed and cliched as it was before he got there. The truth is the line, "Tell him... Think of something clever, and tell him I said it," is not particularly smart or clever as far as writing dialogue goes. But Whedon is the first guy ever to make that specific obvious joke so it seems like the most brilliant thing ever. Whedon's star only really started to diminish once people as good or better at this than he was started to give him competition. When the most famous TV writers from this era is a jackass like David E Kelly, who won shelffuls of Emmys despite being the worst fictional writer of the 1980's and 1990's, Whedon had the medium and the entire playing field to himself for two or three solid years. And people complaining about Whedon never winning an Emmy never really understand why it doesn't bother me. Those idiots gave Kelly, a writer who is basically a cautionary tale in every single aspect of how you should NOT write a script, boatloads of Emmys for multiple terrible series. I don't think Breaking Bad nabbing the Emmys even matters nowadays. After Kelly fooled the organization so long into believing he could pass for a good scriptwriter, writing Emmys are meaningless and not worth winning. Whedon never winning and only being nominated once is actually a career selling point if you ask me. Twin Peaks was shut out too. The Emmys don't reward great television. They reward easy television. What's amazing is that that line makes the impact it does because it's effortless. Because TV was so bad it never occurred to anyone else before Whedon wrote it. So Whedon saying a very funny but obvious joke makes him the hottest writer in Hollywood. And that's largely due to luck. If television were at the current quality it is now in 1997-99 Whedon would get practically no attention or traction. But his success involves writing great scenes when no-one else was even writing good ones. And never winning anything because none of his shows had a creepy dancing baby.
Whedon never needed to be great to catch fire the way he did. He just needed to be good when nothing else was. And yeah, that's what happened.
I think this next bit might be a plot-hole on Joss Whedon's part, but I'm going to choose to believe it was deliberate. But when Buffy tells the Anointed One she knows who he is, you can assume that the prophecy was botched by Joss himself, and he didn't keep the story consistent enough to make what he planned in episode 5 go down the way it should have. Whether that is true or not (and I suspect it's true) I choose to view it as a happy accident instead. If that huge a part of the prophecy is so clearly wrong, isn't it possible that Buffy's death is being misinterpreted too? And the reason I will give the episode that benefit of the doubt, is because that's what happened. I choose to believe a sloppy mistake is clever foreshadowing instead. Because despite all my negative reviews of various things, I like finding reasons to like a project rather than excuses to hate it. The notion that prophecies are not all they are cracked up to be gives me a reason to actually like the Annointed One's inconsistent arc. And that's just fine with me.
I like that Xander and Willow are all "Do you mind?" to Miss Calendar and wondering why she's now in the club. It's actually a fair question.
The Locutus of Borg reference is so great because it's the first time I had ever seen a pop-culture reference to the Borg from Star Trek: The Next Generation. That made the joke matter to me when I first saw it back in the day.
As much as I hate Xander in the episode, him thrusting the cross at Angel and saying he didn't like him was cool, as was him asking him to prove Buffy right that he's a person. Xander is such a manipulative bunghole earlier on. I can actually like him when he's direct.
I love that the Hellmouth opens directly in the high school library. That's something I have always loved.
Speaking of great dialogue, the Master dryly disparaging the "feeble banter" portion of the fight is not great dialogue (and the feeble banter actually IS feeble). But Joss is the first guy to do the joke, so he has the playing field entirely to himself, and it seemed like genius at the time. The credit belongs to him for something Dan Harmon or Vince Gilligan could have pooped out in their sleep today. The guy was super lucky everyone else was so bad at this.
The Master taunting Buffy that he needed her there to escape in the first place was a great and horrifying moment. He seems to have similar mesmerizing and telekinetic powers as Dracula in Season 5. I also liked her echoing that he liked her dress after he kills her and she drops dead face-first into the water. Although unlike Willow, it's cold-blooded rather than cute when he says it.
I like Buffy telling the Master he has fruit punch mouth. THAT is a perfectly Buffy thing to say.
Yeah, yeah, Angel, everyone likes the dress.
I don't like the idea that Xander saves the day by giving Buffy the Prince Charming kiss. I don't like that subtext one bit.
The Master is so old that when he's dusted he leaves behind his bones. There's a Yo Momma snap in there somewhere. I'm sure of it.
His slo-mo walking outside WAS pretty epic. Nice moment.
This is the best episode so far, and arguably the first great one. But do you know what? The score still totally sucks! It's bad when the only music cue that really lands is when they play the Nerd Herder theme during the climactic Power Walk. I think this great episode would have been even better had Christophe Beck been around to score it. Still, great. *****.
Teen Titans Go! "BBRAEBDAY"
In theory My Super Sweet 16 is kind of a dated thing to parody. But in reality, it was truly one of the most reprehensible television programs that ever existed, therefore it can never actually have enough shade thrown at it. Some messages are timeless, and that show, essentially about the coming of age of a generation of Karens, is something MTV should never live down.
I liked that Raven's Grandmama calls her Rachel.
I actually thought Beast Boy's bike wish was cool.
Pretty good episode, and skewering of a show that remains especially terrible in hindsight. ****.
Teen Titans Go! "Real Art"
I like Rainbow Raider. His powers are cool. I liked his plan to destroy the art by exposing it to flash photography a million times.
I knew he was the one who painted the cat painting.
I cringed when Beast Boy and Cyborg defaced the Mona Lisa. Spray paint and tacks are worse than camera lightbulbs.
Funny. ****1/2.
Batwoman "Fair Skin, Blue Eyes"
"How did you find him?" "Easy. I looked."
I'm very much digging the series leaning into social issues and exploring racial inequality. Sets it apart from the other Arrowverse stuff. Even Black Lightning seems less concerned about the homeless and invisible. But it's nice to looks at these types of issues using a different perspective than Jefferson Pierce's. And Ryan's seems very different indeed.
I am looking forward to learning more about Ryan and Dominque's backstory.
I am amused and revolted that Alice is the type of person who takes a piece of fruit out of someone's fridge, licks it, and puts it back. It's a great and instructive character moment, which I had to rewind to make sure it was what it was, because it wasn't commented on further, which is hilarious. Sometime in the near future, Sophie is gonna eat that fruit. Gross.
I think the thing in the episode, (and the series) I really am getting fed up with is the radio lady Vespa played by Rachel Maddow. She makes terrible puns using obvious line readings, and makes the entire show feel cheesier and cornier than it is. I like Rachel Maddow. But she's not hip and trendy, never was, and trying to get her to talk like she is hits the ear completely wrong.
But the rest of the episode was pretty neat. ****.
Black Lightning "The Book Of Reconstruction: Chapter Two: Unacceptable Losses"
The fact that half of the characters annoyed me beyond belief doesn't actually change the fact that this was a good episode.
I'm specifically speaking of Tobias and Lynn. We'll talk about Tobias now and get to Lynn later on.
I think Tobias Whale is one of the current worst fictional villains on television. And that is 100% down to the writers. There is nothing wrong with Marvin Krondon's performance. It's the things he is asked to say and do that are the actual problem.
My problem with Tobias is the exact problem I had with Penguin on Gotham. He's an idiot. He's billed at the series mastermind and continually makes rookie stupid moves that a half credible mob boss would steer clear of and not entertain in a million years. I am not a master criminal. And even I know what he said to Jefferson was the stupidest thing anyone in his position could ever say.
Here is the reality: For all intents and purposes, Whale has won. The only thing he needs to say regarding Jefferson is "Hey, dude, no hard feelings, but if you stay out of MY way, I'll stay out of yours. Otherwise your secret is blown." That is the ONLY conversation they needed to have. Jefferson is the one person in his family who doesn't want to kill Tobias to simplify matters, and all Tobias is doing by threatening his family is proving his family right and getting him used to the idea. When you are on top, that is when stability is your friend. What's amazing and amazingly stupid to me is he doesn't even have to be sincere if he offered a truce to Jefferson. He could secretly work against him the entire time and that's still competent bad guying. But he makes Jefferson raise his guard the very minute he's thrown in the towel. And this specific kind of stupidity, of refusing to take to the win, and refusing to leave well enough alone which is why Tobias Whale is currently the stupidest fictional villain on television. And I shouldn't be the only one complaining about this. For the Big Bad of the series, he is startlingly incompetent. And what infuriates me is that the writers made him that way and made it so that he's winning too. That's unacceptable.
Other things. I immediately like Darius. I like the way Nyssa charmingly told him she was gay to completely destroy whatever nervousness he was feeling around her. I also like that his current problem is that he's mourning his dog. That is a common, real problem. That televsion NEVER portrays. Big props to the series for doing it. It's a tough thing to go through, and this is literally the first TV show I've seen make an unknown character struggle with it.
Whatever the Pierce's pay the therapist, it's not enough. She's amazing. I think she will be able to help Jefferson. And I mentioned Lynn was annoying,. I also think she's beyond help at this point. When it's revealed she doesn't have any friends or hobbies, I don't consider her driven or focused. What she is is boring. I love the girls telling her to "stay in her lane". Very justifiably rude way to put that. Here is an even MORE unkind opinion. If they didn't know she was going out at night and were simply referring to her judgments and nagging for when they do, that would also be an acceptable "Mind your own business" moment for me. Why is Lynn even with Jefferson? None of the family seem to actually like her. I tolerated her in the first three seasons for Jefferson's sake, but at this point I believe Jeff and the girls would be better off without her. Jen had the exact right word for her: She's a "liability". Big time. While she is screaming at her daughters about how everything they do is wrong and is going to get them killed, she herself is going to be the one winding up getting them killed. The ways things currently are is unsustainable. Something has to give.
Speaking of which, Blackbird negotiating the truce between Kobra and the 100 shows the unique value of Blackbird among the heroes. Thunder certainly wouldn't have the credibility to do that. I really like that not only does Nyssa have two superhero identifies that no bad guys have tied together as of yet, but that they serve two entirely different yet equally important purposes.
I found the earnestness in which Lala vows to kill all of his enemies alarming in its absolute sincerity. I do not want to ever be considered that entirely crazy man's enemy. Did I say crazy man? I meant lovely man. You'll tell him I said that, right?
For the record, I know Jefferson himself didn't call him on it, but Gambi's white. He shouldn't be using the word "thug" in the context he is, whether Jefferson knows what he means or not. It hits the ear wrong because it's wrong for a woke white man to use that word describing a black man in ANY context. Just for the record.
So that held my interest. I was angry with it in a lot of places, but I liked the anger I was feeling. I was angry for the right reasons (not counting Tobias who unambiguously sucks). ****.
Big Hero 6: The Series "Krei-oke Night / The Mascot Upshot"
Krei-oke Night:
As a rule, musical episodes almost always suck. While this wasn't a great episode, as far as musicals go, it didn't suck. Probably because they didn't artificially stretch the premise to find a supernatural explanation for the musical numbers. Everybody's just singing Karaoke.
It is unsurprising to me Maya Rudolph is a good singer. She strikes me as one of those performers like Kristen Bell who can literally do anything.
Not bad. ***1/2.
The Mascot Upshot:
Acceptable. That's enough. That's all I needed.
I expect mass disappointment from the fans from this. I do not want to say that satisfying series finales for kids cartoons are a very recent phenomena, and still a bit unusual. But the truth is when I was a kid, cartoons never had them. They just stopped. Not through a cliffhanger or anything, they just stopped making episodes.
As far as cartoons go, that was a fine stopping point. The mascots are rehabilitated, and so are all of the villains I care about. The show did its job whether the last season underwhelmed or not. There's not much left to tell, which is why this is a good stopping place.
I will understand there will be people disappointed in this. But I don't think kids cartoon actually NEED satisfying wrap-ups (as a rule). There are exceptions for some serious action shows, but light stuff like Big Hero 6 is allowed to simply end, and I'll be cool with it. I think if you aren't cool with it, you've kind of been misreading the tone of the show and judging it by other recent cartoons. A small, no-big-deal ending is consistent with how light and fluffy the superheroics always are. And that's good enough for me. ****1/2.
The Blacklist "The Fribourg Confidence"
Back in the day I always thought William Ragsdale would have had a bigger career after Herman's Head than he actually did. Still nice to see him getting work.
Liz freeing the Architect shows she's a bad guy now. Kudos for Red for being the only one to see the obvious that that is what was happening.
I liked Red and Ann's meet/cute at the end.
The judge throwing out the case due to learning the truth about Reddington shows what a double-edged sword people in power knowing the actual truth is. For many people, it won't actually convince them. It will do the opposite. About time we've seen some of that.
Good, especially considering what a hot mess the rest of the season has been. Although Liz wasn't in it. Which is probably the main reason I liked it. ****.