Star Trek: Discovery "The Butcher's Knife Cares Not For The Lamb's Cry" Review (Spoilers)
Also reviews for the latest episodes of Teen Titans Go! and Justice League Action, the season premieres of Supergirl, The Flash, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow, and Arrow, the latest episodes of Gotham, Lucifer, Ben 10, Marvel's Inhumans, The Gifted, Marvels Avengers: Secret Wars, Marvel's Spider-Man, DuckTales, Tangled: The Series, Elena Of Avalor, Once Upon A Time, The Simpsons, and Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, some TMNT shorts, and the latest episodes of Transformers: Robots In Disguise, Power Rangers: Ninja Steel, The Orville, Family Guy, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place, The Last Man On Earth, Ghosted, and The Blacklist.
Star Trek: Discovery "The Butcher's Knife Cares Not For The Lamb's Cry"
This episode was a dud. I get messing with the Starfleet premise, but this episode shows that even Star Trek still doesn't get how to humanely treat animals. I'd call it a recent problem, but this has effected all five previous series too. Ironically, it is Seth MacFarlane's The Orville which gets the morality of caging animals better than Star Trek ever did. But Star Trek should not STILL be this backwards about the subject in 2017. No excuses, like the earlier Treks had.
And how stupid is the security guard? After seeing what that thing did last episode, she lets it out of the cage to attack it with zero plan or back-up from a team of armed guards. And then Lorca stupidly tells Burnham "Don't let her death be in vain". As if it was Burnhum's fault that chick won a Darwin Award. What Lorca seemed to be saying is, "Whatever you do, make sure to do the same d*mn thing the dumb@$$ security guard did that got her killed. We wouldn't want to insult her memory by acting intelligent."
And can I just say how much the Klingons suck? I get the producers are trying to make them like Trumpistas, but that just makes them worse. The Klingons were not freaking cannibals on the old show, and even if the entire honor thing was actually only observed by Worf and Martok, and that's it, it still existed. It was still a Klingon ideal, whether the Klingons lived up to it or not. And entire Klingon ship betraying its captain for food shows how badly this version of them suck. Why does Star Trek think I want to see Donald Trump inspired Klingons? Why does that @$$hat get to ruin Star Trek the way he has ruined real-life? He only has that power if Star Trek lets him.
And finally, I have to say Georgiou's will absolutely sucked. I get that it was supposed to, but those were the absolute worst chosen words for someone who wound up doing what Burnham did. I get that Burnham needs to be punished for how bad her actions were. But does it need to be this relentless and non-stop? We get it, already. She's filled with regret. Can we move on?
If the first two weeks were sort of a prequel, and last week the second Pilot, this is the first episode in which the show is in a routine and shows us what to expect on weekly basis. And alarmingly, it's the first episode I outright disliked. I am officially worried. *.
Teen Titans Go! “Justice League’s Next Top Talent Idol Star, Part One”
I love that Batman is visibly embarrassed by Robin in front of Superman. As he should be.
Point: It’s hilarious that Starfire blows her nose with kittens.
Counterpoint: The trail of snot from the kitten’s stomach to her nose was disgusting.
I like that when Aquaman is nervous or excited, he squeezes the fish nearly to death. That sounds about right.
Funny episode. ****.
Teen Titans Go! “Justice League’s Next Top Talent Idol Star, Part Two”
I don’t remember EVER laughing as hard at this show in a previous moment as I did at Beast Boy’s “Milkman” audition. That was a legitimately funny scene.
The Dummy winning is a dumb ending, but it’s the best status quo ending they could do, (outside of handing the spot to B’wana Beast). It was not the worst possible scenario ever, and it was sort of funny in spite of itself.
Is it just me or is Birdarang super annoying? He keeps getting a bigger and bigger role, and he keeps getting more and more annoying in every appearance. Bring back Painbot! All I know is pain!
Yes, kids, Aquaman is useless. In Aquaman’s defense, at least he recognizes it.
Super high grade for the Beast Boy thing. ****1/2.
Justice League Action “Mint Condition”
If Toyman were a TRUE toy lover he wouldn’t have removed Cyborg’s vintage toys from their packages in the first place. ****.
Supergirl "Girl Of Steel”
Wow, those were some pointed political observations from Cat Grant. It saddens me they had to be THAT pointed, but that’s the world we live in. We actually have to explain to people that conspiracy theories are not real. And we are all dumber for it.
Oh, Alex. You totally ARE that. It’s cute that you think you aren’t.
Season Three cast notes: Chris Wood is still listed as a series regular, which tells me he is coming back for real at some point. Otherwise he’d be a Special Guest Star. Speaking of which, I believe Erica Durance should have been given that title. As for Adrian Pasdar, he makes a better Glen Talbot than a Morgan Edge. Profit aside, Pasdar always plays better with some nuance. Talbot is probably his best character besides Profit for this reason. The women who plays Maggie Sawyer (I can never spell her name right) is also no longer a series regular, so I sense trouble in paradise for Maggie and Alex.
Speaking of which, I think the show wanted me to be more moved by J’onn’s reaction to walking Alex down the isle than we should have been. Hank doing that was literally the only logical choice. I don’t know why both of those characters treat it as either a surprise, or a world-shattering revelation. It’s kinda a no-brainer. Were I Hank, I’da been like, “’Bout time. Where YOU been?”
I’m looking forward to getting Mon-El back if Kara is going to be this much of a drip all season. ***1/2.
The Flash “The Flash Reborn”
Oh, thank God! The show is FUN again! Please let this be a permanent thing! Only after seeing that do I realize how much season 3 sucked.
Caitlin having a split personality from Killer Frost will be fun. Excellent way for the show to have its cake and eat it too. Don’t know how they’ll explain the hair color change, because previously, it was shown to be permanent. But if it can go back and forth at will, there might be something supernatural going on. TBD...
I disliked the beard, but I love the longer hair. I hope it isn’t cut next week. Grant Gustin looks great in bangs.
The Thinker has an amazing design. I don’t know anything about the comics version, but I didn’t quite expect THAT. It looks great.
The Flash is back! For real! ****1/2.
DC’s Legends Of Tomorrow “Rubi-Con”
All things considered, I believe that whatever this show’s future history, this episode will be considered the turning point. It’s the Grow The Beard moment. It’s not that the episode is outright great. It’s that is sort of finally nailed the entire concept of the series for the first time ever. And it did so in such a fashion that there will be no further confusion. Definitely not on my end.
The most annoying thing about the show’s first two seasons is that the Legends sucked at their job. Things kept getting worse due to their own foolish mistakes and it was sucking the air out of the room to watch a group of heroes lose week after week due to sheer incompetence. Instead, what this brilliant episode does is say, “That’s the point. They suck at this. They are losers.” The whole “Don’t call us heroes. Call us Legends,” thing always struck me as one of those meaningless catchphrases you always get in genre, that ultimately sound cool but mean nothing (“There is no try”). It’s just a cool thing to end each episode’s introduction on, but it’s stupid, and makes no sense. Until now. They want to be called Legends because they are literally NOT heroes. Because heroes save the day. The Legends tend to make things worse. Oftentimes they’ll improve history incidentally with their mistakes, (see Stein’s daughter) but generally speaking the misfits idea is not just something Rip Hunter misidentified these guys with. They are truly a group of screw-ups.
Even Sarah Lance, who has been portrayed as the stoic professional up to this point. Now she’s the hot mess, and it’s sort of hinted she’s ALWAYS been the hot mess, and we just never realized it. I thought it was incredibly cool that she tells Julius Caesar that conquering the world DOES sound fun. But she doesn’t need him to do it. Strangely enough, I believe her.
Second best Caesar moment was Rory telling him his salad sucks. Which immediately made me wonder when Rory started eating salad. He strikes me as the kind of guy who eat baby calves raw, right out of the veal pen. Without utensils. Funny joke though.
I don’t know what is more alarming. The fact that Rory never questioned why Caesar wasn’t speaking English, or why I didn’t. Seriously embarrassed there. In my defense, the show doesn’t usually bother to explain mistakes like that.
The episode did a ton of things to clarify the Legends’ role. With no higher authority out there, we were previously given no context to the Legends missions and screw-ups. We assume they are righteous, but we have no way to know. Now we see them as the chainsaw to perform brain surgery. We see them as the thing that accidentally makes things better. This show will now be much better for the Time Bureau in it, and someone holding (or not holding) the characters to account. Will I miss Rip Hunter every week, as Arthur Darvill is no longer a series regular? Honestly? No. Rip was getting insufferable by the end, and I couldn’t even stand him by the end of season 1. But his new role, is MUCH more fun, and I enjoy rooting against him, instead of having the show try to make me believe I should root for him. Less Rip will be a good thing if he is used in this capacity.
Game-changer of an episode. *****.
Arrow “Fall-Out”
I need more information before I can fully judge that, but my initial feeling is that the cliffhanger is actually a bit of a relief to me. Green Arrow on this show is becoming one of those heroes like Tony Stark where the secret identity is doing more harm than good. Too many people, including bad guys, know. Laurel knows, which means she had leverage on the team. Frankly, I think her revealing it is dumb because now she has no leverage whatsoever. But despite what Felicity said, no version of Laurel Lance has ever been smart or known enough to plan ahead. I think she might have actually wound up doing him a favor.
But the reason I need proper context to judge this episode, is that just based on the next week’s previews, Oliver is still going to publicly deny it. He still thinks he can keep the identity even after all this, and being caught three times. It strikes me as ludicrous, and if the show tries to have me believe another convoluted explanation such as Diggle wearing the Arrow suit AGAIN, I’ll judge this episode harsher in hindsight. However, if this IS the beginning of the end of the secret identity, then this episode will be a good thing and a game-changer.
The preview had the DA calling the Green Arrow a criminal. Still? I thought once Chase was implicated, Arrow’s story checked out, and he was no longer considered a criminal. If not, that’s poor planning on Oliver’s part. Yeah, it would look bad now if Oliver had publicly called off the dogs on Team Arrow and it’s later revealed he leads it. But he’d also be in far less legal trouble, and could possibly weather it depending on the current city opinion of Green Arrow. But again, I need to see more to judge.
One thing I AM very happy to see is the return of Slade and Oliver’s brotherhood. They will never be what they once were, but I fully approve of the idea of them making peace with each other and wishing each other well. That was the thing I missed most when Slade turned crazy and evil, and even if Slade might be used less now, I prefer to see a Slade who can offer Oliver advice about fatherhood.
Speaking if which, can I just say that Oliver is a terrible father? His last speech to William did not COMPLETELY suck, but he’s pretty much doing everything else wrong. I admit I was a bit surprised and appalled he was “The Bad Man”. But I had spent very little time with William before this so I should have been. Oliver has been there for five months. He should have known that already. The whole “Buddy” thing is so freaking condescending too, and makes him sound like the worst and lamest stepdad who ever lived. I see William cringing every time he says it, and I want to hand the kid a glove to slap Oliver with.
It’s interesting that I’m more on the side of the emo, bratty-seeming kid, instead of the hero I’ve spent five seasons with. But just based on how William ended up where he did, I’d be weird thinking differently.
I disagree with Quentin about something: He does NOT get how these parallel Earth things work. At all. He might not be such a wreck if he did.
How will Oliver being on the hook for Arrowhood effects Rene’s custody hearing? I can’t help but thinking this is bad timing.
For the record, I HATE The Inconvenient Phone Call. And the Arrowverse does it more often than most franchises. And most franchises do it A LOT. Just tell him, Quentin. Real-life people do not live their lives in 45 minute increments. And if they did, they could probably find time to say what they need to say during the commercial breaks.
On a similar note, maybe it keeps the audience in suspense that Felicity is so freaked out that she tells Oliver to turn on the TV and nothing else. But that’s stupid. That’s done for the audience’s sake at home. A real friend, or a real coworker for that matter, would immediately pass on the information that Oliver’s identity was compromised. She’d be the one to break it. It’s not like the News Report is still guaranteed to be on when he tunes to the given channel. And the fact that the reporter starts off her sentence with the relevant information upon Oliver hitting the channel is bad writing. In reality, somebody like Felicity would want to give Oliver as much information as she personally had, as fast as possible, and THEN have him sort it out by watching the news. TV shows always do crap like that and it annoys me every single time.
Love Alex Faust rather than Felix Faust. This means Constantine is still canon.
We’ll see how this all shakes out. ***1/2.
Gotham “A Dark Knight: The Demon’s Head”
Well, Ben McKenzie is a better writer than he is an actor. He’d kind of have to be, considering how much his acting sucks, but the story here was totally not terrible.
I kind of like Sophia listing to Penguin the reasons her father would not have killed those men in his place. It sort of said that Penguin sucked at his job, which is true. And Penguin’s response is the lame snarl of “Things are different now!” and I was like, “Yeah. Worse. Stupider.” It annoys me that the producers are trying to convince me the Penguin is a chess master on the Gotham Game Of Thrones. Because he’s actually really dumb. It’s sort of appalling he’s gotten as far as he has.
What a lame excuse for Bullock’s absence. I really hate that Gotham refuses to pay enough money for each of the actors to appear in every episode. There ARE a lot of cast members, but they should still appear in the episodes that they should. Who is Harper and why is she temporarily Jim’s boss? What storytelling avenue does that serve? There isn’t even any juicy conflict wrung from it. The only avenue that served was saving the producers money. And if it’s that obvious that is what is going on, I think that’s bad.
Anubis freaks me out about as much as the Rubberman from American Horror Story. And for the same reasons.
What do I think of our first full episode glimpse of Ra’s Al Ghul? I predict fans will hate a Ra’s played as over the top snarky and colorful by Alexander Siddig as David Tennant did the Tenth Doctor, but have we ever seen that in Ra’s before? No. So that makes what he is going to do instantly unpredictable, which is good. It’s something I haven’t seen yet. I like that fact.
Speaking of which, have we ever seen Ra’s imprisoned before? I don’t know about the comics, but it’s never happened in any media I’m familiar with. Ditto him in a police station.
I think Bruce should have given Ra’s the knife. If I didn’t think he was eventually going to get it, I’d think differently, but there is a 99% chance Ra’s DOES get that knife by the end of the season anyways, so Alex’s death will be pointless. Heck, the way things are going, I bet Ra’s gets it by the midseason. Bruce is only putting off the inevitable, and a kid was not worth that sacrifice.
Good for the show to have the kid outright say early on that Bruce should not give Ra’s the knife for any reason, just to make it clear that Bruce is not betraying him. He’s honoring his wishes. As bad as I felt for the kid dying, he did it by being brave and NOT begging Bruce to hand over the knife. It appeared to brush by Bruce, who usually insightfully notices stuff like that, but it’s the fact that a scared kid like Alex refused to beg Bruce to do the wrong thing to save him, which is why Bruce is much less culpable for that tragedy than he thinks he is.
Two Victors. That’s weird. I’m not alone thinking that’s weird, right? It’s not as weird as two Harveys (by a longshot) but it’s still weird. At least Martha Wayne and Martha Kent are in different comic books.
Love Penguin still refusing to say the word “Riddler”. One of the few smart things he did this episode. Because If Ed ever gets the smarts back, he’d be able to take solace that at one point, Oswald actually said the name. But Oswald isn’t even gonna give him that. Just in case.
I actually liked the episode. ****.
Lucifer “The One With The Baby Carrot”
Worst episode title ever.
I could not follow that case of the week at ALL. I could not follow who killed who, who stole whose jokes, and why. Too many variables, and the resolution did not answer them for me at all. I’m not saying I like my TV stupider. But clearer is always nice.
I’m starting to ship Linda and Amenadiel. If Maze was a non-factor, I’d be Team Lamenadiel all the way. Lucifer being Amenadiel’s test makes sense. He’s pretty much every faithful person’s test. It’s good the show was obvious with that at least.
This is the second week in a row I found Ella completely obnoxious. She is literally the worst judge of character on the entire series. The fact that she is portrayed as a woman of faith bugs the crap out of me. It might not if the premise was entirely different. But a faithful person on this show is automatically correct and insightful. And that should not be a turd like Ella. Ever.
I didn’t care for this week either. **1/2.
Ben 10 “Xingo”
Weird how little Upgrade was in the Upgrade Special episode.
God, Ben Tennyson has the worst tastes ever, even for a kid. He’s probably the world’s biggest Teen Titans Go! fan.
“We have to get someplace safe!” “Does such place exist?” Not on this show, Gwen. Not on this show.
Lame. **.
Marvel’s Inhumans “Make Way For... Medusa”
Medusa’s family reunion.
When you aren’t actually ALLOWED to see Lockjaw, and the majority of his scenes involve characters looking at him off-camera, you sort of immediately become aware you are watching a TV show. Another reason that perhaps the concept is wrong for the medium.
The casting on this show sucks. Maximus’ early childhood friend looks to be in his mid-forties, while Maximus appears in his early twenties. What is up with that?
This has been the best day of Louise’s life? That is so freaking sad, as was “It’s about time”. I would not be as desperate for approval for someone as rude and obnoxious as Medusa is as Louise seems to be.
I figured the scientist working for Maximus didn’t know he was working for Maximus. Or at least had no idea what Maximus was, or what his agenda was. Makes sense.
Crystal and Medusa’s parents tried to overthrow Attilan? I like them already.
I was mostly bored with this. On worse occasions, I was annoyed. **1/2.
The Gifted “rX”
It is a rare show where the second episode is better than the Pilot. This is one of those rare shows.
I kind of like all of the different aspects of the Mutant problem the show explored. Frankly, the movies could not dive completely into this with any degree of nuance, because they had only two hours to work with. A TV show can explore the actual politics of the scenario in a Post 11/9 World, that a movie could never hope to do. Plus, you have to remember, even if the comics were on the right side of the social justice allegory, that doesn’t mean about half of the people watching the movies don’t have a completely different perspective about the Civil Rights Movement. Singer might not have pushed things as far as they could have gone, in order to not offend flyover country.
TV isn’t based on ticket sales, but ratings. And controversy and buzz, which are often bad for ticket sales, are great for ratings. The show can actually get political without worrying about offending the wrong people. Because if the wrong people are offended, they are going to talk about the show, and even negative troll buzz is still buzz, which is good for the show. It is why you can often see openly partisan plotlines on big budget genre show, you will never see in big budget genre movies.
What drives me crazy is that this is all stuff that freaking LEGION should have been exploring! Legion is a great show, and it’s pretty much a superhero project as reimagined as an indie art film. But you’d think they’d say the word “Mutant” a LOT more than they do, especially if they finally have enough time to explore the concept. Legion is doing other funky, eclectic stuff, but what may be better for an artsy fartsy FX TV show, is probably not better for an adaptation of an X-Men comic. And that’s my opinion about that.
But I think the thing I love most about the show’s politics is that it isn’t cut and dry to me. Yeah, the government are pretty much monsters, and nobody in society is standing up when they should. The Sentinel story is the ultimate allegory for “First they came for the...”. But... As the guy said, it doesn’t ultimately matter whether it was a good Mutant or a bad Mutant that actually set off the electrical blast that killed his 7 year old daughter. He don’t care anymore, and I sort of don’t see why he should. But he’s still clearly a bad guy, even if he has good reasons for being a bad guy. What bothers me is that Reed used to be just as dirty as he was. What is Reed’s good reason for being in this monstrosity of an organization?
I love that the empathetic seeming doctor calls the police after he treats Eclipse. Caitlin seems to be extremely put out by the suggestion that Mutants can be more violent than normal people, because, hey, that’s her kids! But that’s profiling in a nutshell, and I don’t think she understood what it was, why it was wrong, or even that it existed before this happened. I especially love that the doctor who offers this perspective is black. There apparently is no real irony there in The X-Men Universe, as he would have been punished for it in most genre doing the same “black human racist towards non-humans” trope, but even if the characters on the show don’t think it’s jarring, the audience at home might. At least I did. You don’t usually hear black people arguing that Trayvon Martin seemed violent. And that’s one of the interesting things about the premise. And it pushes the right buttons by doing that.
When that female prisoner punched a pregnant Polaris in the stomach, I was like, “This Universe sucks.” Wolverine cannot erase it fast enough.
This was a fantastic episode. I loved it. *****.
Marvel's Avengers: Secret Wars "Why I Hate Halloween"
This was obviously aired out of order because all of the original Avengers (including Iron Man are back). Good to know they're all right.
This shows the whole loophole of the "Vampires can't come in without an invite" rule. They can still burn your house down with you in it.
I love Dracula's voice. I love the way he says "Bowman".
I love that Hulk still goes trick or treating, but to honest, smashing vampires seems to be a Halloween dream come true to me. True, there is no candy involved, but it's not like Tony Stark can't afford to ship in a bunch of the best chocolates from Germany anyways.
I liked him holding up Crossbones and Scarlet Widow, and telling Hawkeye he found something.
Hawkeye does NOT like being called the weakest Avenger. Not one bit. Frost's theory was asinine, so I'm surprised Clint felt the need to double-check with Cap about it at the end anyways. But Hawkeye is the guy who knows fighting vampires outdoors is merely a waiting game until dawn.
I like the idea that Hydra abandons Whitney when Clint won't, and considers her a liability. But the idea was interesting enough on its own. They didn't need to smash us over the head with it a bunch of times.
I liked it. ****.
Marvel's Spider-Man "Halloween Moon"
I would have liked the idea of introducing John Jameson before Jonah had Spidey failed him at the end. How awesome would it be to give Jonah legit reasons to hate Spidey?
I love that Spider-Man for some strange reason, tries to impress the Hulk at the beginning and refers to him as "Sir". That's ludicrous (Hulk should be NO-ONE'S role model) but Peter is still young enough and new at this that it makes sense.
You wanna really geek him out? Let him meet Banner. One of the most fun things about seeing new and different interpretations of the Hulk is to see how they treat Banner. Like the Hulk on Avengers EMH, Avengers Assemble and Hulk ATAOSMASH, this Hulk is reasonably intelligent and can speak in complete sentences. Unlike those Hulks, he seems to retain little from Banner and vice-versa. It's interesting that Hulk sees Spider-Man as a kid to protect rather than a potential ally. Particularly interesting that Hulk is insightful enough to guess Spidey is a kid in that full body costume.
Is this the first project where Gwen Stacy and Hulk have met? I liked her chiding Hulk for not using Banner's brain. But Hulk still either cannot or will not do it. Banner's lame.
Speaking of which, Banner without a shirt makes me uncomfortable too. Heck, so does Hulk without a shirt.
Pretty good version of Hulk, if not of Man-Wolf. ***1/2.
DuckTales "Terror Of The Terra-Firmians"
All things being equal, that did not work. I liked some of it, but not enough of it.
Let's start with the Terra-Firmians. I am one of those fans who does not mind seeing the show subvert expectations and make the characters unlike their Original Series or comic book counterparts. I do not object to an Aspie, socially graceless Gyro Gearloose, a sinister Helper Bulb, or a Bad@$$ Mrs. Beakley. Those are all fine. But I have no idea why they altered the Terra-Firmies so much. I'd probably be less annoyed at the horror movie overtones if not for the reveal at the end that they ARE the cuddly Terra Firmies after all.
The horror stuff IS a part of Terra Ferrmies. But it’s the INITIAL part. The ducks are then surprised to learn they are harmless (or at least not purposefully harmful) pretty early on in the game. It's actually seeing their weird society based upon a totally destructive sport that makes them interesting. It's a NASCAR / NFL obsessed world gone mad, with a dash of climate change denialism thrown in for good measure. And the fact that the Terra Firmies are the scary thing, instead of the Terra Firmies’ warped beliefs and obsessions, means they are doing them wrong.
I also object to Scrooge not being present. In both the Carl Barks story and the Original Series, the crisis involves the Earthquakes they create nearly destroying the Money Bin. I suppose they could save that story for a later date, but now the nephews and Webby have met them, so much of the magic will be gone. The Earthquakes don't even really seem to be damaging anything, so that also makes them less threatening. And the way the episode sets their threat up is ultimately bogus, so they are toothless as well.
And face it, falling through a crack in the Earth, or driving a cart down a diamond mine cart-track is a much cooler concept than exploring subway tunnels on foot.
Secondly, I don't object to Launchpad being this stupid. I like the fact that Launchpad specifically thinks Dewey of all people is his best friend. But he should never be this crazy. As big of a dope as Terry McGovern's Launchpad was, he was still pretty grounded. And for some reason that's the version I prefer.
Third, I think Mrs. Beakley sucks. What's interesting is that I didn't think that until this episode. But she's the freaking adult. She shouldn't be talking to Lena in such a frank or rude manner. She is not her peer or her girlfriend. She should treat her as firmly yet reasonably as an adult SHOULD treat any kid. And if Beakley actually thinks Lena is troubled, she should be treating her better, not worse. She should be setting a good example. I'm sure the producers would argue that in reality, some adults DO talk to kids that way. That's true. But the ones who do totally suck. Which brings me back to my initial opinion.
Good things? I like the fact that the show refuses to say if Lena is ACTUALLY playing the long game, and saved Beakley's life to get on the Ducks' good side, or if she is truly getting cold feet, and will turn on Magica when it counts. I personally believe it is the second thing, but I like that it can be read either way in this episode.
The second thing I really dug was how unapologetic Huey is at the end, and how he goes right back to his science being the one true thing belief. I like that because he's right. That's how science works. He is right to be skeptical until he gets proof, and when he does, he changes the theory according to what has been proven. And I love that there are blank pages at the end of The Junior Woodchucks Guidebook, so the Woodchucks would be encouraged to fill in the blanks themselves, and possibly become explorers in their own rights. I'm sort of kicking myself that neither Carl Barks nor Don Rosa came up with that idea. The Woodchucks are the most benevolent force in the Duckverse. I wish this wholly admirable idea had been thought up sooner.
That was some fine animation of Lena pulling up an unconscious Mrs. Beakley up with the glowing amulet. The old show never coulda pulled that off.
Lena saying the movie was educational might have actually worked had she not said it teaches kids to fear mole people, which is dumb and bogus, because mole people aren't real. She could have actually told Beakley that the movie teaches kids to be on alert for actual perceived threats, and not to trust strangers and strange surroundings, and she would have actually been right.
A mixed bag this week. **1/2.
Tangled: The Series "The Wrath Of Ruthless Ruth"
God, the Captain is a dummy. The rest of the episode was pretty good (especially the songs and Rapunzel and the King's hug at the end) but it's hard to believe a sharp cookie like Cassandra was sired by this dope. ***.
Elena Of Avalor “The Jewel Of Maru”
I was mostly bored with this, but for some weird reason “High five! Too alive!” really spoke to me. It’s not actually a funny joke, but it’s a COOL one. And I’m not certain why that is, which is what fascinates me about it. ***1/2.
Once Upon A Time “A Pirate’s Life”
THIS episode should have been titled “Swan Song”. A pity the title was already used in season five. They also could have used it for the terrible musical episode instead. Hindsight, man. Hindsight.
This was great. It was SO great, I did a complete 180 on my opinion of the worthiness of the season. At first I thought it was dumb Imaginary Universe Hook shows up and answers that call. If Once is gonna do a Multiverse concept, that is a bad idea. Because that means ALL Hooks should have shown up. And ALL Emmas and Reginas. Fortunately since neither Emma or Regina were a genuine part of the imaginary fairytale, it actually tracks that those two characters didn’t heed the call other. It’s a random coincidence that the particular cast members they used in that story meant that they could create a second Captain Hook for this season, and have the original still have his happy ending with Emma. Who says the Universe is badly designed? And don’t tell me the writers planned that, because I won’t believe you.
And it’s the fact that our Hook and Emma still get that happy ending, which is why I’m glad they are using the second Hook. Like Regina and Henry, the second Hook is an “I Want” character, which is good for fairytales. Somebody who earned their happy ending should not be on this show. It’s somebody who has something in their life missing who should. And that’s Second Hook, Henry, and Regina. Ironically, I do not believe Rumplestiltskin actually properly earned his happy ending back in Season 6, so I do not object to him being present either. He did not deserve Belle, and I’m fine with the idea that he couldn’t keep her.
Is Hook 2’s daughter Cinderella? How would that work exactly and why would that have happened due to the Curse never being cast? Is the different Enchanted Forest we are currently in run in a different timeframe? It’s a different Universe, so it’s possible it’s also the future. That doesn’t track with Once Upon A Time In Wonderland’s theories about the impossibility of time travel, but Once actually broke that rule pretty quickly once Wonderland was over. Whatever happened to Will Scarlett and the Red Queen anyways? I need Wonderland closure, Once!
Is Rumple secretly a good cop undercover and pretending to be a bad cop? I hope so, because it makes no sense for a dirty cop to want to work with an honest one. Either Hyperion Rumple has a master plan, or he’s stupid. We’ll find out which, I’m guessing within the next two weeks.
SO glad Jennifer Morrison got a “Special Guest Star” credit. I believe she’s the first guest star who has gotten that privilege. I actually would have been a bit outraged had she been listed alphabetically in the guest cast as every single guest star ever was before this. Even this show knew that would be wholly inadequate.
Why did Hook and Regina not want to tell Henry about Emma’s “condition”? Simply to worry the audience. And that’s not cool. If they weren’t actually going to give Emma and Hook an unhappy ending, they shouldn’t have dangled the idea that they might. It still would have been a surprise had they not so blatantly jerked us around.
Great episode. Back on-board. ****.
The Simpsons "Springfield Splendor"
I love the Bechdel Test, but I didn't know where it originated until I saw this. I think it's something all animated things should aspire to. "Let me tell my husband about this." And the room erupts in boos. Genius.
I love Marge's thing about turtle feet, and the solution is for them to all be wearing sneakers.
"You did this to me!" I love that exclamation from the practice therapist. It was a pretty funny scenario already, but those four words just explained everything, and made it a thousand times funnier. Jokes that funny and clever are hard to come by in even the cleverest shows. The Simpsons tends to deliver. "Please don't act like you know I'm there," was another great thing.
I really enjoyed this episode a lot. Last season's premiere wasn't superb, but this was. ****1/2.
Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “The Curse Of Savanti Romero”
How is Renet still a thing with the upcoming Mutant Apocalypse? Once again, the show does NOT think things through.
Wow, I worried the last episode would have ruined all reruns in hindsight, and since we’re getting the last season out of order, it does. The Turtles swearing up and down to protect April and Casey and the City, means a LOT less to me knowing that they ultimately failed.
Love that they spoofed TNG’s “Identity Crisis” on Space Heroes.
Mikey saying he was going to watch Renet’s back, and her front, was an excellent dirty joke. Renet is no longer sporting the porn star design she did in the comics, but she’s still busty enough to make that joke funny.
So-so. ***.
Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “The Crypt Of Dracula”
Not much to say about Part 2, except to think that Mikey’s trick to summon a silver coin from the magic temporal money purse, to shove down the Werewolf’s throat was a surprisingly good one. I was actually quite impressed. ***1/2.
Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “The Frankenstein Experiment”
Great design on Frank.
Were I the Turtles, I woulda been busy trying to convince Frankenstein not to create the monster after all. I certainly wouldn’t be helping him.
I wondered why Renet and the Turtles didn’t stick around and help Victor rebuild his rejuvenation machine. If it powered up the Time Scepter partially, than it makes sense to go into the final battle with it fully charged. It’s time travel. They are literally not in any rush. ***1/2.
Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “Monsters Among Us”
I love Ice Cream Kitty with the glasses and notepad and pencil.
Renet still being a thing at the end of the episode again raises questions about the Mutant Apocalypse. Is that only a POSSIBLE future? Her taking Frank there is doubly confusing.
Nice gruesome death for Dracula there. He had it coming.
I would have liked to have seen that future Renet encounter very much.
I want Renet future, not Mutant Apocalypse future. ****.
TMNT Team-Up! “Big Daddy’s TV”
I like this version of Krang;. The Rat King thing was funny too. ****.
TMNT Team-Up! “Turtle: Impossible”
The Hey Arnold Joke was funny. Kevin Eastman BETTER have nice abs. Julie Strain should be getting SOMETHING out of this. ****.
TMNT Team-Up! “Flora The Fedora”
Let me just state here and now for the record how much I hate the original series Bayou Leatherhead.
The Beavis and Butt-Head thing with Flora the Fedora was so great. I love Bebop calling Rocksteady “Buttcrack” and Clogs the Monkey was hilarious. These cartoons are twisted. ****1/2.
TMNT Shorts “Boulangerie”
This was boring and stupid. **.
TMNT Shorts “We Strike Hard And Fade Into The Night”
Great animation in this one. ****.
TMNT Team-Up! “No Fly Zone”
Krang on American Idol was funny, particularly when he seemed to turn into Face from Nick Junior. And Leo IS a creep. **1/2.
TMNT Shorts “Teenage Mecha Ninja Turtles”
Oh my God! This is the Turtle future I actually want! One where Raph and Mikey are girls! So awesome! And the appearance of Old Michelangelo at the end (voiced by Greg Cipes) might have made things canon if not for that stupid series finale. Great animation and premise. *****.
Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force "Collateral Damage"
Sideswip is such a 'wipe. He actually has to LEARN it's not okay to break a little kid's TV. He doesn't actually already know that. He sucks. And as far as "making things right" at the end go, dressing up in blankets is wholly inadequate.
How does Sideswipe not know the TV matters? Russell literally risked his life at the beginning to protect it. What more does he need?
Good to hear Soundwave in all of his Frank Welkery glory. Soundwave on Prime made no sense. They called him Soundwave, but he struck me as an entirely different character, detaching Minicons or no. Here, they finally gave him his voice back, and a design that's more Generation One, while still having enough of the Prime design in it to tell it's the same character. They pulled off a similar trick with Starscream last season, and I totally approve of the show doing stuff like that. Although Starscream's design change was explained, while Soundwave's was not.
Sideswipe and Strongarm continually ruin this show for me week after week. This week was no exception. **1/2.
Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force “Something He Ate”
I laughed bigtime at Grimlock’s “longways or crissycrossy” moments. He is so cute.
But the trailer thing again tells me Grimlock was the wrong Autobot for this roster of the show. There is no part of a Robot who transforms into a Dinosaur which can plausibly be “In Disguise”.
Cute episode otherwise. ***.
Power Rangers: Ninja Steel "Grave Robber"
At least it wasn't a clip show. Or was it? These things tend to blur together for me.
The Rangers still go trick-or-treating? Makes sense. Those nerds still believe in Santa Claus.
Could have been worse. ***.
Power Rangers: Ninja Steel “Monkey Business”
Victor is a narcissistic sociopath with the IQ of dogfood. How does a psychopathic, moronic, chairsniffer like him get elected President of anything?
Never mind. I know how that happens.
The villain was unusually smart this episode by taking on the Power Rangers out of costume, and picking them off one or two at a time.
Victor thinks pulling a prank on the election winners will disqualify them both? How does that track? I repeat: IQ of dogfood.
Totally not terrible. ***.
The Orville “Krill”
This is a VERY Star Trek episode, but in some ways it is Star Trek for the reasons I hate Star Trek. It’s a comedy, so it makes sense it would indulge in this particular trope, but it always drove me nuts on The Next Generation, and greatly diminished how much I ultimately wound up liking that show. And all things considered, I liked it a lot.
But I’d have liked it a LOT more if Data, Wesley, and Geordi weren’t in the background of the viewscreen during diplomatic negotiations, making sarcastic comments, and rude and racist remarks about the aliens and their “strange” appearances on the other end of the viewscreen (and within their earshot). Picard was a master delegator, and every time one of those ‘wipes said something totally offensive that blew over the alien’s head, the alien would ask Picard what the ‘wipe meant by that. And Picard would say they meant nothing, and it was irrelevant, thereby making a liar out of Picard, and undercutting their diplomatic standing. What if the aliens used Ferengi Google later? Starfleet is supposed to be the best and brightest humanity has to offer. And in the first couple of seasons of Next Gen, it was filled with fratboy buttmunches. And this is another reason I think Gene Roddenberry’s lionization as the standard bearer for the spirit of humanity’s goodness is so misplaced. Because literally, the less and less involved he was with the show, the less and less it happened. Gene Roddenberry’s adherents claim Gene believed in the best of humanity. But he also somehow managed to create the worst behaving humans ever.
Weirdly, The Orville’s response is to actually make the deplorable behavior seem even worse. Because even if Wesley, Data, and Geordi’s jokes are unprofessional and horrible, they also aren’t done at times likely to get Picard killed. This mission is deadly serious, and Malloy’s human jokes and mannerisms are giving them away, in a scenario where they will be killed if they are uncovered. They are very fortunate the Krill are as stupid as they are. Any alien species even slightly more insightful, would have been able to recognize when they were being made fun of. That is when Picard would say it was nothing.
To be honest, Ed sucks at this too. While nothing he says is actually jokey or insulting, he sucks at undercover work and fitting into the surroundings. The Krill talk with a very specific and precise cadence. And Ed’s calling ‘em “Dude” and talking about tramp stamps. I don’t care that Ed has never gone undercover before. Because they should have trained him AND Malloy for this at the Academy. And it’s not like the Krill’s instantly arch behavior is all that difficult to figure out how to mirror. Both Ed and Gordon should be a LOT better at this than they are. I WOULD have been better at it than them.
So that’s bad.
The good is REALLY good. I mean really, REALLY good. This is not something I’ve seen Star Trek do, which is kind of a shame, because the idea strikes me as very Star Trek, but The Orville always strikes me as what Star Trek should have been. And in all of the various battle plans we occasionally see The Enterprise, Voyager, and Deep Space Nine make, I kind of would have liked to have seen them plan to destroy a ship full of aliens before realizing there were children on it. And suddenly they have to choose between the Krill committing genocide, or them personally mass murdering a group of innocent children. And of course, one of the Krill kids is curious about humanity, and doesn’t seem to quite swallow the Avis propaganda, and bonds with Ed. And that just makes the choice worse. And suddenly killing everyone else on the ship is the less horrendous option.
Or is it? The female Krill noted that those kids just witnessed Malloy and Mercer murder their entire ship. Even the wide-eyed tolerant one. If he liked and was interested in humanity before this, he certainly doesn’t anymore. They just created a bunch of new hardcore enemies. Which is a subversive moral, because the show is partly arguing that if there are kids involved, it’s safer to leave no survivors. Which is Jihadi thinking. But that’s another essential Star Trek theme. No good deed goes unpunished. That is pretty much why the Prime Directive was created in the first place. But that doesn’t mean you decline to do the good deed anyways. Because Mercer actually DOES have a soul.
Remember when I said this show is Star Trek as it should have been? It had two moments at the beginning that I would have loved to have seen on Star Trek. One was Mercer and Alara getting their wires crossed upon the opening of the hail frequency. I love that. It always works smoothly and perfectly on Star Trek, when it shouldn’t, because there are never any visibly clear signs as to when the Star Trek Captain viewscreen and comm are working. I kind of think there should be a “red light” near the front of room to let the captain know he’s “live”. And if this show is going to be like Star Trek and not do that, at least they aren’t going to insult my intelligence and say the crew doesn’t botch stuff like that all the time WITHOUT the red light.
The second thing is that the panel that was hit and was currently on fire is the fire suppression panel. That is definitely a joke right there, but it is also something that should have been happening on Star Trek too. For example, the artificial gravity NEVER got knocked out once during a battle on all five previous Star Trek series. I suspect The Orville will be busting that particular trope sooner or later too.
Ah, It was the best of Trek, it was the worst of Trek... ***1/2.
Family Guy "Foxx In The Men House"
You might be mad the entire thing is a dream, but I think it just makes it less bad that Peter's friends forgave him. Dream Quagmire was still outvoted.
I knew Striker was going to die a few seconds before he did. He seemed perfectly supportive of Peter maybe not doing all of this crazy stuff because he wasn't ready, and Peter had just nuked his bridges. Of course he had to die.
George Clooney was the second worst Batman? Who was the worst? Because I actually think it was Clooney.
I cannot believe they got Kathleen Turner to voice herself after all of the crap this show has put her through. I would have believed it more likely they had actually snagged Meryl Streep.
LOL at Stewie's "Photography Club".
"Why do you always have to be so bleeping negative all of the time?" It's weird that it's Chris asking this, because Brian should have made this observation ages ago. But it's not that Stewie is diabolical which is why he always complains. It's because he a jaded, whiny loser. Good for you, Chris.
Passable episode but nothing special. ***1/2.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine “Kicks”
I knew Adrian didn’t cheat on Rosa just because Pimento’s entire shtick is that he is nowhere near as bad as he outwardly appears. He’s not a good person. But he’s not a bad one either, and deep down, he’s actually quite sweet, if not virtuous. Notice when Rosa breaks up with him his response is grief rather than anger. And frankly, he had every right to be angry. But he’s sweet deep down, so he isn’t.
I also love that Holt thought Jake’s second thoughts were a strength, and it reminded me why I loved this show. This show doesn’t portray cops as they are. It portrays them as they should be. I love that Jake is so upset by his newfound empathy that wants to take the suspension. But Holt is right. It makes him a better cop. If all cops had a side of “What if he didn’t do it?” we’d all be better off. But still Jake wants desk duty and Holt is supportive enough to give it to. I love these characters and I love this show.
The kneeling thing wasn’t particularly funny, but the cliff-jumping after Rosa thing was. You ask me Raymond Holt just made a very convincing argument for jumping off a cliff. I also like that Holt thinks that by Jake deciding to end the guessing game because Holt is no fun means Holt wins by default. I don’t think Holt gets how games work.
First episode of the year I really liked. ****.
The Good Place “Existential Crisis”
First off, Eleanor’s mother was a monster. It is a miracle she is as well adjusted as she is. She is a Tammy 2 level of suck. Before Donald Trump became more well-known to me I assumed people like this didn’t actually exist. Now Eleanor’s mother and Tammy 2 are freaking quaint.
Jason and Tahini. I disapprove. Jason can do better and I think him and Janet are true soul mates. Why do I think this? Because of the four of the group Tahini is easily the worst person. She is the only person among the four still being tortured. Nobody else is falling for it anymore. But Tahini is SUCH a terrible person, with SUCH terrible values, that the fake party she’s throwing to cast of suspicion actually matter to her. The one thing I liked is that she realized how appallingly shallow her tortures were and what a horrible person she must be to actually care about them. But see, just because she’s aware it is horrible that she actually cares about this stupid crap, doesn’t mean she still doesn’t care about it. And that pretty much makes her a monster.
I’m guessing the show can spin its wheels for around a season based on this premise. But considering how quickly this show tends to blow through mythology it is quite possible this particular status quo will be short lived.
Good episode though. ****.
The Last Man On Earth "Stocko Syndrome"
Oh, my God, Season Four, and this show is still amazing. How do they do it?
Glenn's story about his family ripped my guts in half. The premise of the show is essentially comedic, but it is actually dark and tragic, and that right there showed why. Can you imagine not even knowing about something like that? He took the truth from Carol much better than I would have predicted and turned out to be a decent person by not wanting to abandon Pamela.
Speaking of which, I find it very interesting that Tandy sort of became her advocate for not leaving her behind because she became a "team player" (whatever that means) after Tandy got ahold of the gun. It is not a surprise to me that Tandy would do that. What is a surprise is that he agreed to abide with whatever the rest of the group decided without making a huge stink about his contrary opinion. There are very few ways you can actually show character growth for a loathsome psychopath like Tandy. That was definitely one of them.
Amazing television. Still. *****.
Ghosted "Jermaine The Zombie"
Pretty good. I'm starting to get the hang of this show. ****.
The Blacklist “Miss Rebecca Thrall”
Sort of rolled my eyes at Ressler talking about how he believed cops were the good guys after what he’s gotten himself into.
Red getting his own plane was fun, and I laughed at the elephants and a gassy Glen inviting himself over.
Not as much fun as the first two weeks. ***.
Star Trek: Discovery "The Butcher's Knife Cares Not For The Lamb's Cry"
This episode was a dud. I get messing with the Starfleet premise, but this episode shows that even Star Trek still doesn't get how to humanely treat animals. I'd call it a recent problem, but this has effected all five previous series too. Ironically, it is Seth MacFarlane's The Orville which gets the morality of caging animals better than Star Trek ever did. But Star Trek should not STILL be this backwards about the subject in 2017. No excuses, like the earlier Treks had.
And how stupid is the security guard? After seeing what that thing did last episode, she lets it out of the cage to attack it with zero plan or back-up from a team of armed guards. And then Lorca stupidly tells Burnham "Don't let her death be in vain". As if it was Burnhum's fault that chick won a Darwin Award. What Lorca seemed to be saying is, "Whatever you do, make sure to do the same d*mn thing the dumb@$$ security guard did that got her killed. We wouldn't want to insult her memory by acting intelligent."
And can I just say how much the Klingons suck? I get the producers are trying to make them like Trumpistas, but that just makes them worse. The Klingons were not freaking cannibals on the old show, and even if the entire honor thing was actually only observed by Worf and Martok, and that's it, it still existed. It was still a Klingon ideal, whether the Klingons lived up to it or not. And entire Klingon ship betraying its captain for food shows how badly this version of them suck. Why does Star Trek think I want to see Donald Trump inspired Klingons? Why does that @$$hat get to ruin Star Trek the way he has ruined real-life? He only has that power if Star Trek lets him.
And finally, I have to say Georgiou's will absolutely sucked. I get that it was supposed to, but those were the absolute worst chosen words for someone who wound up doing what Burnham did. I get that Burnham needs to be punished for how bad her actions were. But does it need to be this relentless and non-stop? We get it, already. She's filled with regret. Can we move on?
If the first two weeks were sort of a prequel, and last week the second Pilot, this is the first episode in which the show is in a routine and shows us what to expect on weekly basis. And alarmingly, it's the first episode I outright disliked. I am officially worried. *.
Teen Titans Go! “Justice League’s Next Top Talent Idol Star, Part One”
I love that Batman is visibly embarrassed by Robin in front of Superman. As he should be.
Point: It’s hilarious that Starfire blows her nose with kittens.
Counterpoint: The trail of snot from the kitten’s stomach to her nose was disgusting.
I like that when Aquaman is nervous or excited, he squeezes the fish nearly to death. That sounds about right.
Funny episode. ****.
Teen Titans Go! “Justice League’s Next Top Talent Idol Star, Part Two”
I don’t remember EVER laughing as hard at this show in a previous moment as I did at Beast Boy’s “Milkman” audition. That was a legitimately funny scene.
The Dummy winning is a dumb ending, but it’s the best status quo ending they could do, (outside of handing the spot to B’wana Beast). It was not the worst possible scenario ever, and it was sort of funny in spite of itself.
Is it just me or is Birdarang super annoying? He keeps getting a bigger and bigger role, and he keeps getting more and more annoying in every appearance. Bring back Painbot! All I know is pain!
Yes, kids, Aquaman is useless. In Aquaman’s defense, at least he recognizes it.
Super high grade for the Beast Boy thing. ****1/2.
Justice League Action “Mint Condition”
If Toyman were a TRUE toy lover he wouldn’t have removed Cyborg’s vintage toys from their packages in the first place. ****.
Supergirl "Girl Of Steel”
Wow, those were some pointed political observations from Cat Grant. It saddens me they had to be THAT pointed, but that’s the world we live in. We actually have to explain to people that conspiracy theories are not real. And we are all dumber for it.
Oh, Alex. You totally ARE that. It’s cute that you think you aren’t.
Season Three cast notes: Chris Wood is still listed as a series regular, which tells me he is coming back for real at some point. Otherwise he’d be a Special Guest Star. Speaking of which, I believe Erica Durance should have been given that title. As for Adrian Pasdar, he makes a better Glen Talbot than a Morgan Edge. Profit aside, Pasdar always plays better with some nuance. Talbot is probably his best character besides Profit for this reason. The women who plays Maggie Sawyer (I can never spell her name right) is also no longer a series regular, so I sense trouble in paradise for Maggie and Alex.
Speaking of which, I think the show wanted me to be more moved by J’onn’s reaction to walking Alex down the isle than we should have been. Hank doing that was literally the only logical choice. I don’t know why both of those characters treat it as either a surprise, or a world-shattering revelation. It’s kinda a no-brainer. Were I Hank, I’da been like, “’Bout time. Where YOU been?”
I’m looking forward to getting Mon-El back if Kara is going to be this much of a drip all season. ***1/2.
The Flash “The Flash Reborn”
Oh, thank God! The show is FUN again! Please let this be a permanent thing! Only after seeing that do I realize how much season 3 sucked.
Caitlin having a split personality from Killer Frost will be fun. Excellent way for the show to have its cake and eat it too. Don’t know how they’ll explain the hair color change, because previously, it was shown to be permanent. But if it can go back and forth at will, there might be something supernatural going on. TBD...
I disliked the beard, but I love the longer hair. I hope it isn’t cut next week. Grant Gustin looks great in bangs.
The Thinker has an amazing design. I don’t know anything about the comics version, but I didn’t quite expect THAT. It looks great.
The Flash is back! For real! ****1/2.
DC’s Legends Of Tomorrow “Rubi-Con”
All things considered, I believe that whatever this show’s future history, this episode will be considered the turning point. It’s the Grow The Beard moment. It’s not that the episode is outright great. It’s that is sort of finally nailed the entire concept of the series for the first time ever. And it did so in such a fashion that there will be no further confusion. Definitely not on my end.
The most annoying thing about the show’s first two seasons is that the Legends sucked at their job. Things kept getting worse due to their own foolish mistakes and it was sucking the air out of the room to watch a group of heroes lose week after week due to sheer incompetence. Instead, what this brilliant episode does is say, “That’s the point. They suck at this. They are losers.” The whole “Don’t call us heroes. Call us Legends,” thing always struck me as one of those meaningless catchphrases you always get in genre, that ultimately sound cool but mean nothing (“There is no try”). It’s just a cool thing to end each episode’s introduction on, but it’s stupid, and makes no sense. Until now. They want to be called Legends because they are literally NOT heroes. Because heroes save the day. The Legends tend to make things worse. Oftentimes they’ll improve history incidentally with their mistakes, (see Stein’s daughter) but generally speaking the misfits idea is not just something Rip Hunter misidentified these guys with. They are truly a group of screw-ups.
Even Sarah Lance, who has been portrayed as the stoic professional up to this point. Now she’s the hot mess, and it’s sort of hinted she’s ALWAYS been the hot mess, and we just never realized it. I thought it was incredibly cool that she tells Julius Caesar that conquering the world DOES sound fun. But she doesn’t need him to do it. Strangely enough, I believe her.
Second best Caesar moment was Rory telling him his salad sucks. Which immediately made me wonder when Rory started eating salad. He strikes me as the kind of guy who eat baby calves raw, right out of the veal pen. Without utensils. Funny joke though.
I don’t know what is more alarming. The fact that Rory never questioned why Caesar wasn’t speaking English, or why I didn’t. Seriously embarrassed there. In my defense, the show doesn’t usually bother to explain mistakes like that.
The episode did a ton of things to clarify the Legends’ role. With no higher authority out there, we were previously given no context to the Legends missions and screw-ups. We assume they are righteous, but we have no way to know. Now we see them as the chainsaw to perform brain surgery. We see them as the thing that accidentally makes things better. This show will now be much better for the Time Bureau in it, and someone holding (or not holding) the characters to account. Will I miss Rip Hunter every week, as Arthur Darvill is no longer a series regular? Honestly? No. Rip was getting insufferable by the end, and I couldn’t even stand him by the end of season 1. But his new role, is MUCH more fun, and I enjoy rooting against him, instead of having the show try to make me believe I should root for him. Less Rip will be a good thing if he is used in this capacity.
Game-changer of an episode. *****.
Arrow “Fall-Out”
I need more information before I can fully judge that, but my initial feeling is that the cliffhanger is actually a bit of a relief to me. Green Arrow on this show is becoming one of those heroes like Tony Stark where the secret identity is doing more harm than good. Too many people, including bad guys, know. Laurel knows, which means she had leverage on the team. Frankly, I think her revealing it is dumb because now she has no leverage whatsoever. But despite what Felicity said, no version of Laurel Lance has ever been smart or known enough to plan ahead. I think she might have actually wound up doing him a favor.
But the reason I need proper context to judge this episode, is that just based on the next week’s previews, Oliver is still going to publicly deny it. He still thinks he can keep the identity even after all this, and being caught three times. It strikes me as ludicrous, and if the show tries to have me believe another convoluted explanation such as Diggle wearing the Arrow suit AGAIN, I’ll judge this episode harsher in hindsight. However, if this IS the beginning of the end of the secret identity, then this episode will be a good thing and a game-changer.
The preview had the DA calling the Green Arrow a criminal. Still? I thought once Chase was implicated, Arrow’s story checked out, and he was no longer considered a criminal. If not, that’s poor planning on Oliver’s part. Yeah, it would look bad now if Oliver had publicly called off the dogs on Team Arrow and it’s later revealed he leads it. But he’d also be in far less legal trouble, and could possibly weather it depending on the current city opinion of Green Arrow. But again, I need to see more to judge.
One thing I AM very happy to see is the return of Slade and Oliver’s brotherhood. They will never be what they once were, but I fully approve of the idea of them making peace with each other and wishing each other well. That was the thing I missed most when Slade turned crazy and evil, and even if Slade might be used less now, I prefer to see a Slade who can offer Oliver advice about fatherhood.
Speaking if which, can I just say that Oliver is a terrible father? His last speech to William did not COMPLETELY suck, but he’s pretty much doing everything else wrong. I admit I was a bit surprised and appalled he was “The Bad Man”. But I had spent very little time with William before this so I should have been. Oliver has been there for five months. He should have known that already. The whole “Buddy” thing is so freaking condescending too, and makes him sound like the worst and lamest stepdad who ever lived. I see William cringing every time he says it, and I want to hand the kid a glove to slap Oliver with.
It’s interesting that I’m more on the side of the emo, bratty-seeming kid, instead of the hero I’ve spent five seasons with. But just based on how William ended up where he did, I’d be weird thinking differently.
I disagree with Quentin about something: He does NOT get how these parallel Earth things work. At all. He might not be such a wreck if he did.
How will Oliver being on the hook for Arrowhood effects Rene’s custody hearing? I can’t help but thinking this is bad timing.
For the record, I HATE The Inconvenient Phone Call. And the Arrowverse does it more often than most franchises. And most franchises do it A LOT. Just tell him, Quentin. Real-life people do not live their lives in 45 minute increments. And if they did, they could probably find time to say what they need to say during the commercial breaks.
On a similar note, maybe it keeps the audience in suspense that Felicity is so freaked out that she tells Oliver to turn on the TV and nothing else. But that’s stupid. That’s done for the audience’s sake at home. A real friend, or a real coworker for that matter, would immediately pass on the information that Oliver’s identity was compromised. She’d be the one to break it. It’s not like the News Report is still guaranteed to be on when he tunes to the given channel. And the fact that the reporter starts off her sentence with the relevant information upon Oliver hitting the channel is bad writing. In reality, somebody like Felicity would want to give Oliver as much information as she personally had, as fast as possible, and THEN have him sort it out by watching the news. TV shows always do crap like that and it annoys me every single time.
Love Alex Faust rather than Felix Faust. This means Constantine is still canon.
We’ll see how this all shakes out. ***1/2.
Gotham “A Dark Knight: The Demon’s Head”
Well, Ben McKenzie is a better writer than he is an actor. He’d kind of have to be, considering how much his acting sucks, but the story here was totally not terrible.
I kind of like Sophia listing to Penguin the reasons her father would not have killed those men in his place. It sort of said that Penguin sucked at his job, which is true. And Penguin’s response is the lame snarl of “Things are different now!” and I was like, “Yeah. Worse. Stupider.” It annoys me that the producers are trying to convince me the Penguin is a chess master on the Gotham Game Of Thrones. Because he’s actually really dumb. It’s sort of appalling he’s gotten as far as he has.
What a lame excuse for Bullock’s absence. I really hate that Gotham refuses to pay enough money for each of the actors to appear in every episode. There ARE a lot of cast members, but they should still appear in the episodes that they should. Who is Harper and why is she temporarily Jim’s boss? What storytelling avenue does that serve? There isn’t even any juicy conflict wrung from it. The only avenue that served was saving the producers money. And if it’s that obvious that is what is going on, I think that’s bad.
Anubis freaks me out about as much as the Rubberman from American Horror Story. And for the same reasons.
What do I think of our first full episode glimpse of Ra’s Al Ghul? I predict fans will hate a Ra’s played as over the top snarky and colorful by Alexander Siddig as David Tennant did the Tenth Doctor, but have we ever seen that in Ra’s before? No. So that makes what he is going to do instantly unpredictable, which is good. It’s something I haven’t seen yet. I like that fact.
Speaking of which, have we ever seen Ra’s imprisoned before? I don’t know about the comics, but it’s never happened in any media I’m familiar with. Ditto him in a police station.
I think Bruce should have given Ra’s the knife. If I didn’t think he was eventually going to get it, I’d think differently, but there is a 99% chance Ra’s DOES get that knife by the end of the season anyways, so Alex’s death will be pointless. Heck, the way things are going, I bet Ra’s gets it by the midseason. Bruce is only putting off the inevitable, and a kid was not worth that sacrifice.
Good for the show to have the kid outright say early on that Bruce should not give Ra’s the knife for any reason, just to make it clear that Bruce is not betraying him. He’s honoring his wishes. As bad as I felt for the kid dying, he did it by being brave and NOT begging Bruce to hand over the knife. It appeared to brush by Bruce, who usually insightfully notices stuff like that, but it’s the fact that a scared kid like Alex refused to beg Bruce to do the wrong thing to save him, which is why Bruce is much less culpable for that tragedy than he thinks he is.
Two Victors. That’s weird. I’m not alone thinking that’s weird, right? It’s not as weird as two Harveys (by a longshot) but it’s still weird. At least Martha Wayne and Martha Kent are in different comic books.
Love Penguin still refusing to say the word “Riddler”. One of the few smart things he did this episode. Because If Ed ever gets the smarts back, he’d be able to take solace that at one point, Oswald actually said the name. But Oswald isn’t even gonna give him that. Just in case.
I actually liked the episode. ****.
Lucifer “The One With The Baby Carrot”
Worst episode title ever.
I could not follow that case of the week at ALL. I could not follow who killed who, who stole whose jokes, and why. Too many variables, and the resolution did not answer them for me at all. I’m not saying I like my TV stupider. But clearer is always nice.
I’m starting to ship Linda and Amenadiel. If Maze was a non-factor, I’d be Team Lamenadiel all the way. Lucifer being Amenadiel’s test makes sense. He’s pretty much every faithful person’s test. It’s good the show was obvious with that at least.
This is the second week in a row I found Ella completely obnoxious. She is literally the worst judge of character on the entire series. The fact that she is portrayed as a woman of faith bugs the crap out of me. It might not if the premise was entirely different. But a faithful person on this show is automatically correct and insightful. And that should not be a turd like Ella. Ever.
I didn’t care for this week either. **1/2.
Ben 10 “Xingo”
Weird how little Upgrade was in the Upgrade Special episode.
God, Ben Tennyson has the worst tastes ever, even for a kid. He’s probably the world’s biggest Teen Titans Go! fan.
“We have to get someplace safe!” “Does such place exist?” Not on this show, Gwen. Not on this show.
Lame. **.
Marvel’s Inhumans “Make Way For... Medusa”
Medusa’s family reunion.
When you aren’t actually ALLOWED to see Lockjaw, and the majority of his scenes involve characters looking at him off-camera, you sort of immediately become aware you are watching a TV show. Another reason that perhaps the concept is wrong for the medium.
The casting on this show sucks. Maximus’ early childhood friend looks to be in his mid-forties, while Maximus appears in his early twenties. What is up with that?
This has been the best day of Louise’s life? That is so freaking sad, as was “It’s about time”. I would not be as desperate for approval for someone as rude and obnoxious as Medusa is as Louise seems to be.
I figured the scientist working for Maximus didn’t know he was working for Maximus. Or at least had no idea what Maximus was, or what his agenda was. Makes sense.
Crystal and Medusa’s parents tried to overthrow Attilan? I like them already.
I was mostly bored with this. On worse occasions, I was annoyed. **1/2.
The Gifted “rX”
It is a rare show where the second episode is better than the Pilot. This is one of those rare shows.
I kind of like all of the different aspects of the Mutant problem the show explored. Frankly, the movies could not dive completely into this with any degree of nuance, because they had only two hours to work with. A TV show can explore the actual politics of the scenario in a Post 11/9 World, that a movie could never hope to do. Plus, you have to remember, even if the comics were on the right side of the social justice allegory, that doesn’t mean about half of the people watching the movies don’t have a completely different perspective about the Civil Rights Movement. Singer might not have pushed things as far as they could have gone, in order to not offend flyover country.
TV isn’t based on ticket sales, but ratings. And controversy and buzz, which are often bad for ticket sales, are great for ratings. The show can actually get political without worrying about offending the wrong people. Because if the wrong people are offended, they are going to talk about the show, and even negative troll buzz is still buzz, which is good for the show. It is why you can often see openly partisan plotlines on big budget genre show, you will never see in big budget genre movies.
What drives me crazy is that this is all stuff that freaking LEGION should have been exploring! Legion is a great show, and it’s pretty much a superhero project as reimagined as an indie art film. But you’d think they’d say the word “Mutant” a LOT more than they do, especially if they finally have enough time to explore the concept. Legion is doing other funky, eclectic stuff, but what may be better for an artsy fartsy FX TV show, is probably not better for an adaptation of an X-Men comic. And that’s my opinion about that.
But I think the thing I love most about the show’s politics is that it isn’t cut and dry to me. Yeah, the government are pretty much monsters, and nobody in society is standing up when they should. The Sentinel story is the ultimate allegory for “First they came for the...”. But... As the guy said, it doesn’t ultimately matter whether it was a good Mutant or a bad Mutant that actually set off the electrical blast that killed his 7 year old daughter. He don’t care anymore, and I sort of don’t see why he should. But he’s still clearly a bad guy, even if he has good reasons for being a bad guy. What bothers me is that Reed used to be just as dirty as he was. What is Reed’s good reason for being in this monstrosity of an organization?
I love that the empathetic seeming doctor calls the police after he treats Eclipse. Caitlin seems to be extremely put out by the suggestion that Mutants can be more violent than normal people, because, hey, that’s her kids! But that’s profiling in a nutshell, and I don’t think she understood what it was, why it was wrong, or even that it existed before this happened. I especially love that the doctor who offers this perspective is black. There apparently is no real irony there in The X-Men Universe, as he would have been punished for it in most genre doing the same “black human racist towards non-humans” trope, but even if the characters on the show don’t think it’s jarring, the audience at home might. At least I did. You don’t usually hear black people arguing that Trayvon Martin seemed violent. And that’s one of the interesting things about the premise. And it pushes the right buttons by doing that.
When that female prisoner punched a pregnant Polaris in the stomach, I was like, “This Universe sucks.” Wolverine cannot erase it fast enough.
This was a fantastic episode. I loved it. *****.
Marvel's Avengers: Secret Wars "Why I Hate Halloween"
This was obviously aired out of order because all of the original Avengers (including Iron Man are back). Good to know they're all right.
This shows the whole loophole of the "Vampires can't come in without an invite" rule. They can still burn your house down with you in it.
I love Dracula's voice. I love the way he says "Bowman".
I love that Hulk still goes trick or treating, but to honest, smashing vampires seems to be a Halloween dream come true to me. True, there is no candy involved, but it's not like Tony Stark can't afford to ship in a bunch of the best chocolates from Germany anyways.
I liked him holding up Crossbones and Scarlet Widow, and telling Hawkeye he found something.
Hawkeye does NOT like being called the weakest Avenger. Not one bit. Frost's theory was asinine, so I'm surprised Clint felt the need to double-check with Cap about it at the end anyways. But Hawkeye is the guy who knows fighting vampires outdoors is merely a waiting game until dawn.
I like the idea that Hydra abandons Whitney when Clint won't, and considers her a liability. But the idea was interesting enough on its own. They didn't need to smash us over the head with it a bunch of times.
I liked it. ****.
Marvel's Spider-Man "Halloween Moon"
I would have liked the idea of introducing John Jameson before Jonah had Spidey failed him at the end. How awesome would it be to give Jonah legit reasons to hate Spidey?
I love that Spider-Man for some strange reason, tries to impress the Hulk at the beginning and refers to him as "Sir". That's ludicrous (Hulk should be NO-ONE'S role model) but Peter is still young enough and new at this that it makes sense.
You wanna really geek him out? Let him meet Banner. One of the most fun things about seeing new and different interpretations of the Hulk is to see how they treat Banner. Like the Hulk on Avengers EMH, Avengers Assemble and Hulk ATAOSMASH, this Hulk is reasonably intelligent and can speak in complete sentences. Unlike those Hulks, he seems to retain little from Banner and vice-versa. It's interesting that Hulk sees Spider-Man as a kid to protect rather than a potential ally. Particularly interesting that Hulk is insightful enough to guess Spidey is a kid in that full body costume.
Is this the first project where Gwen Stacy and Hulk have met? I liked her chiding Hulk for not using Banner's brain. But Hulk still either cannot or will not do it. Banner's lame.
Speaking of which, Banner without a shirt makes me uncomfortable too. Heck, so does Hulk without a shirt.
Pretty good version of Hulk, if not of Man-Wolf. ***1/2.
DuckTales "Terror Of The Terra-Firmians"
All things being equal, that did not work. I liked some of it, but not enough of it.
Let's start with the Terra-Firmians. I am one of those fans who does not mind seeing the show subvert expectations and make the characters unlike their Original Series or comic book counterparts. I do not object to an Aspie, socially graceless Gyro Gearloose, a sinister Helper Bulb, or a Bad@$$ Mrs. Beakley. Those are all fine. But I have no idea why they altered the Terra-Firmies so much. I'd probably be less annoyed at the horror movie overtones if not for the reveal at the end that they ARE the cuddly Terra Firmies after all.
The horror stuff IS a part of Terra Ferrmies. But it’s the INITIAL part. The ducks are then surprised to learn they are harmless (or at least not purposefully harmful) pretty early on in the game. It's actually seeing their weird society based upon a totally destructive sport that makes them interesting. It's a NASCAR / NFL obsessed world gone mad, with a dash of climate change denialism thrown in for good measure. And the fact that the Terra Firmies are the scary thing, instead of the Terra Firmies’ warped beliefs and obsessions, means they are doing them wrong.
I also object to Scrooge not being present. In both the Carl Barks story and the Original Series, the crisis involves the Earthquakes they create nearly destroying the Money Bin. I suppose they could save that story for a later date, but now the nephews and Webby have met them, so much of the magic will be gone. The Earthquakes don't even really seem to be damaging anything, so that also makes them less threatening. And the way the episode sets their threat up is ultimately bogus, so they are toothless as well.
And face it, falling through a crack in the Earth, or driving a cart down a diamond mine cart-track is a much cooler concept than exploring subway tunnels on foot.
Secondly, I don't object to Launchpad being this stupid. I like the fact that Launchpad specifically thinks Dewey of all people is his best friend. But he should never be this crazy. As big of a dope as Terry McGovern's Launchpad was, he was still pretty grounded. And for some reason that's the version I prefer.
Third, I think Mrs. Beakley sucks. What's interesting is that I didn't think that until this episode. But she's the freaking adult. She shouldn't be talking to Lena in such a frank or rude manner. She is not her peer or her girlfriend. She should treat her as firmly yet reasonably as an adult SHOULD treat any kid. And if Beakley actually thinks Lena is troubled, she should be treating her better, not worse. She should be setting a good example. I'm sure the producers would argue that in reality, some adults DO talk to kids that way. That's true. But the ones who do totally suck. Which brings me back to my initial opinion.
Good things? I like the fact that the show refuses to say if Lena is ACTUALLY playing the long game, and saved Beakley's life to get on the Ducks' good side, or if she is truly getting cold feet, and will turn on Magica when it counts. I personally believe it is the second thing, but I like that it can be read either way in this episode.
The second thing I really dug was how unapologetic Huey is at the end, and how he goes right back to his science being the one true thing belief. I like that because he's right. That's how science works. He is right to be skeptical until he gets proof, and when he does, he changes the theory according to what has been proven. And I love that there are blank pages at the end of The Junior Woodchucks Guidebook, so the Woodchucks would be encouraged to fill in the blanks themselves, and possibly become explorers in their own rights. I'm sort of kicking myself that neither Carl Barks nor Don Rosa came up with that idea. The Woodchucks are the most benevolent force in the Duckverse. I wish this wholly admirable idea had been thought up sooner.
That was some fine animation of Lena pulling up an unconscious Mrs. Beakley up with the glowing amulet. The old show never coulda pulled that off.
Lena saying the movie was educational might have actually worked had she not said it teaches kids to fear mole people, which is dumb and bogus, because mole people aren't real. She could have actually told Beakley that the movie teaches kids to be on alert for actual perceived threats, and not to trust strangers and strange surroundings, and she would have actually been right.
A mixed bag this week. **1/2.
Tangled: The Series "The Wrath Of Ruthless Ruth"
God, the Captain is a dummy. The rest of the episode was pretty good (especially the songs and Rapunzel and the King's hug at the end) but it's hard to believe a sharp cookie like Cassandra was sired by this dope. ***.
Elena Of Avalor “The Jewel Of Maru”
I was mostly bored with this, but for some weird reason “High five! Too alive!” really spoke to me. It’s not actually a funny joke, but it’s a COOL one. And I’m not certain why that is, which is what fascinates me about it. ***1/2.
Once Upon A Time “A Pirate’s Life”
THIS episode should have been titled “Swan Song”. A pity the title was already used in season five. They also could have used it for the terrible musical episode instead. Hindsight, man. Hindsight.
This was great. It was SO great, I did a complete 180 on my opinion of the worthiness of the season. At first I thought it was dumb Imaginary Universe Hook shows up and answers that call. If Once is gonna do a Multiverse concept, that is a bad idea. Because that means ALL Hooks should have shown up. And ALL Emmas and Reginas. Fortunately since neither Emma or Regina were a genuine part of the imaginary fairytale, it actually tracks that those two characters didn’t heed the call other. It’s a random coincidence that the particular cast members they used in that story meant that they could create a second Captain Hook for this season, and have the original still have his happy ending with Emma. Who says the Universe is badly designed? And don’t tell me the writers planned that, because I won’t believe you.
And it’s the fact that our Hook and Emma still get that happy ending, which is why I’m glad they are using the second Hook. Like Regina and Henry, the second Hook is an “I Want” character, which is good for fairytales. Somebody who earned their happy ending should not be on this show. It’s somebody who has something in their life missing who should. And that’s Second Hook, Henry, and Regina. Ironically, I do not believe Rumplestiltskin actually properly earned his happy ending back in Season 6, so I do not object to him being present either. He did not deserve Belle, and I’m fine with the idea that he couldn’t keep her.
Is Hook 2’s daughter Cinderella? How would that work exactly and why would that have happened due to the Curse never being cast? Is the different Enchanted Forest we are currently in run in a different timeframe? It’s a different Universe, so it’s possible it’s also the future. That doesn’t track with Once Upon A Time In Wonderland’s theories about the impossibility of time travel, but Once actually broke that rule pretty quickly once Wonderland was over. Whatever happened to Will Scarlett and the Red Queen anyways? I need Wonderland closure, Once!
Is Rumple secretly a good cop undercover and pretending to be a bad cop? I hope so, because it makes no sense for a dirty cop to want to work with an honest one. Either Hyperion Rumple has a master plan, or he’s stupid. We’ll find out which, I’m guessing within the next two weeks.
SO glad Jennifer Morrison got a “Special Guest Star” credit. I believe she’s the first guest star who has gotten that privilege. I actually would have been a bit outraged had she been listed alphabetically in the guest cast as every single guest star ever was before this. Even this show knew that would be wholly inadequate.
Why did Hook and Regina not want to tell Henry about Emma’s “condition”? Simply to worry the audience. And that’s not cool. If they weren’t actually going to give Emma and Hook an unhappy ending, they shouldn’t have dangled the idea that they might. It still would have been a surprise had they not so blatantly jerked us around.
Great episode. Back on-board. ****.
The Simpsons "Springfield Splendor"
I love the Bechdel Test, but I didn't know where it originated until I saw this. I think it's something all animated things should aspire to. "Let me tell my husband about this." And the room erupts in boos. Genius.
I love Marge's thing about turtle feet, and the solution is for them to all be wearing sneakers.
"You did this to me!" I love that exclamation from the practice therapist. It was a pretty funny scenario already, but those four words just explained everything, and made it a thousand times funnier. Jokes that funny and clever are hard to come by in even the cleverest shows. The Simpsons tends to deliver. "Please don't act like you know I'm there," was another great thing.
I really enjoyed this episode a lot. Last season's premiere wasn't superb, but this was. ****1/2.
Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “The Curse Of Savanti Romero”
How is Renet still a thing with the upcoming Mutant Apocalypse? Once again, the show does NOT think things through.
Wow, I worried the last episode would have ruined all reruns in hindsight, and since we’re getting the last season out of order, it does. The Turtles swearing up and down to protect April and Casey and the City, means a LOT less to me knowing that they ultimately failed.
Love that they spoofed TNG’s “Identity Crisis” on Space Heroes.
Mikey saying he was going to watch Renet’s back, and her front, was an excellent dirty joke. Renet is no longer sporting the porn star design she did in the comics, but she’s still busty enough to make that joke funny.
So-so. ***.
Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “The Crypt Of Dracula”
Not much to say about Part 2, except to think that Mikey’s trick to summon a silver coin from the magic temporal money purse, to shove down the Werewolf’s throat was a surprisingly good one. I was actually quite impressed. ***1/2.
Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “The Frankenstein Experiment”
Great design on Frank.
Were I the Turtles, I woulda been busy trying to convince Frankenstein not to create the monster after all. I certainly wouldn’t be helping him.
I wondered why Renet and the Turtles didn’t stick around and help Victor rebuild his rejuvenation machine. If it powered up the Time Scepter partially, than it makes sense to go into the final battle with it fully charged. It’s time travel. They are literally not in any rush. ***1/2.
Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles “Monsters Among Us”
I love Ice Cream Kitty with the glasses and notepad and pencil.
Renet still being a thing at the end of the episode again raises questions about the Mutant Apocalypse. Is that only a POSSIBLE future? Her taking Frank there is doubly confusing.
Nice gruesome death for Dracula there. He had it coming.
I would have liked to have seen that future Renet encounter very much.
I want Renet future, not Mutant Apocalypse future. ****.
TMNT Team-Up! “Big Daddy’s TV”
I like this version of Krang;. The Rat King thing was funny too. ****.
TMNT Team-Up! “Turtle: Impossible”
The Hey Arnold Joke was funny. Kevin Eastman BETTER have nice abs. Julie Strain should be getting SOMETHING out of this. ****.
TMNT Team-Up! “Flora The Fedora”
Let me just state here and now for the record how much I hate the original series Bayou Leatherhead.
The Beavis and Butt-Head thing with Flora the Fedora was so great. I love Bebop calling Rocksteady “Buttcrack” and Clogs the Monkey was hilarious. These cartoons are twisted. ****1/2.
TMNT Shorts “Boulangerie”
This was boring and stupid. **.
TMNT Shorts “We Strike Hard And Fade Into The Night”
Great animation in this one. ****.
TMNT Team-Up! “No Fly Zone”
Krang on American Idol was funny, particularly when he seemed to turn into Face from Nick Junior. And Leo IS a creep. **1/2.
TMNT Shorts “Teenage Mecha Ninja Turtles”
Oh my God! This is the Turtle future I actually want! One where Raph and Mikey are girls! So awesome! And the appearance of Old Michelangelo at the end (voiced by Greg Cipes) might have made things canon if not for that stupid series finale. Great animation and premise. *****.
Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force "Collateral Damage"
Sideswip is such a 'wipe. He actually has to LEARN it's not okay to break a little kid's TV. He doesn't actually already know that. He sucks. And as far as "making things right" at the end go, dressing up in blankets is wholly inadequate.
How does Sideswipe not know the TV matters? Russell literally risked his life at the beginning to protect it. What more does he need?
Good to hear Soundwave in all of his Frank Welkery glory. Soundwave on Prime made no sense. They called him Soundwave, but he struck me as an entirely different character, detaching Minicons or no. Here, they finally gave him his voice back, and a design that's more Generation One, while still having enough of the Prime design in it to tell it's the same character. They pulled off a similar trick with Starscream last season, and I totally approve of the show doing stuff like that. Although Starscream's design change was explained, while Soundwave's was not.
Sideswipe and Strongarm continually ruin this show for me week after week. This week was no exception. **1/2.
Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Combiner Force “Something He Ate”
I laughed bigtime at Grimlock’s “longways or crissycrossy” moments. He is so cute.
But the trailer thing again tells me Grimlock was the wrong Autobot for this roster of the show. There is no part of a Robot who transforms into a Dinosaur which can plausibly be “In Disguise”.
Cute episode otherwise. ***.
Power Rangers: Ninja Steel "Grave Robber"
At least it wasn't a clip show. Or was it? These things tend to blur together for me.
The Rangers still go trick-or-treating? Makes sense. Those nerds still believe in Santa Claus.
Could have been worse. ***.
Power Rangers: Ninja Steel “Monkey Business”
Victor is a narcissistic sociopath with the IQ of dogfood. How does a psychopathic, moronic, chairsniffer like him get elected President of anything?
Never mind. I know how that happens.
The villain was unusually smart this episode by taking on the Power Rangers out of costume, and picking them off one or two at a time.
Victor thinks pulling a prank on the election winners will disqualify them both? How does that track? I repeat: IQ of dogfood.
Totally not terrible. ***.
The Orville “Krill”
This is a VERY Star Trek episode, but in some ways it is Star Trek for the reasons I hate Star Trek. It’s a comedy, so it makes sense it would indulge in this particular trope, but it always drove me nuts on The Next Generation, and greatly diminished how much I ultimately wound up liking that show. And all things considered, I liked it a lot.
But I’d have liked it a LOT more if Data, Wesley, and Geordi weren’t in the background of the viewscreen during diplomatic negotiations, making sarcastic comments, and rude and racist remarks about the aliens and their “strange” appearances on the other end of the viewscreen (and within their earshot). Picard was a master delegator, and every time one of those ‘wipes said something totally offensive that blew over the alien’s head, the alien would ask Picard what the ‘wipe meant by that. And Picard would say they meant nothing, and it was irrelevant, thereby making a liar out of Picard, and undercutting their diplomatic standing. What if the aliens used Ferengi Google later? Starfleet is supposed to be the best and brightest humanity has to offer. And in the first couple of seasons of Next Gen, it was filled with fratboy buttmunches. And this is another reason I think Gene Roddenberry’s lionization as the standard bearer for the spirit of humanity’s goodness is so misplaced. Because literally, the less and less involved he was with the show, the less and less it happened. Gene Roddenberry’s adherents claim Gene believed in the best of humanity. But he also somehow managed to create the worst behaving humans ever.
Weirdly, The Orville’s response is to actually make the deplorable behavior seem even worse. Because even if Wesley, Data, and Geordi’s jokes are unprofessional and horrible, they also aren’t done at times likely to get Picard killed. This mission is deadly serious, and Malloy’s human jokes and mannerisms are giving them away, in a scenario where they will be killed if they are uncovered. They are very fortunate the Krill are as stupid as they are. Any alien species even slightly more insightful, would have been able to recognize when they were being made fun of. That is when Picard would say it was nothing.
To be honest, Ed sucks at this too. While nothing he says is actually jokey or insulting, he sucks at undercover work and fitting into the surroundings. The Krill talk with a very specific and precise cadence. And Ed’s calling ‘em “Dude” and talking about tramp stamps. I don’t care that Ed has never gone undercover before. Because they should have trained him AND Malloy for this at the Academy. And it’s not like the Krill’s instantly arch behavior is all that difficult to figure out how to mirror. Both Ed and Gordon should be a LOT better at this than they are. I WOULD have been better at it than them.
So that’s bad.
The good is REALLY good. I mean really, REALLY good. This is not something I’ve seen Star Trek do, which is kind of a shame, because the idea strikes me as very Star Trek, but The Orville always strikes me as what Star Trek should have been. And in all of the various battle plans we occasionally see The Enterprise, Voyager, and Deep Space Nine make, I kind of would have liked to have seen them plan to destroy a ship full of aliens before realizing there were children on it. And suddenly they have to choose between the Krill committing genocide, or them personally mass murdering a group of innocent children. And of course, one of the Krill kids is curious about humanity, and doesn’t seem to quite swallow the Avis propaganda, and bonds with Ed. And that just makes the choice worse. And suddenly killing everyone else on the ship is the less horrendous option.
Or is it? The female Krill noted that those kids just witnessed Malloy and Mercer murder their entire ship. Even the wide-eyed tolerant one. If he liked and was interested in humanity before this, he certainly doesn’t anymore. They just created a bunch of new hardcore enemies. Which is a subversive moral, because the show is partly arguing that if there are kids involved, it’s safer to leave no survivors. Which is Jihadi thinking. But that’s another essential Star Trek theme. No good deed goes unpunished. That is pretty much why the Prime Directive was created in the first place. But that doesn’t mean you decline to do the good deed anyways. Because Mercer actually DOES have a soul.
Remember when I said this show is Star Trek as it should have been? It had two moments at the beginning that I would have loved to have seen on Star Trek. One was Mercer and Alara getting their wires crossed upon the opening of the hail frequency. I love that. It always works smoothly and perfectly on Star Trek, when it shouldn’t, because there are never any visibly clear signs as to when the Star Trek Captain viewscreen and comm are working. I kind of think there should be a “red light” near the front of room to let the captain know he’s “live”. And if this show is going to be like Star Trek and not do that, at least they aren’t going to insult my intelligence and say the crew doesn’t botch stuff like that all the time WITHOUT the red light.
The second thing is that the panel that was hit and was currently on fire is the fire suppression panel. That is definitely a joke right there, but it is also something that should have been happening on Star Trek too. For example, the artificial gravity NEVER got knocked out once during a battle on all five previous Star Trek series. I suspect The Orville will be busting that particular trope sooner or later too.
Ah, It was the best of Trek, it was the worst of Trek... ***1/2.
Family Guy "Foxx In The Men House"
You might be mad the entire thing is a dream, but I think it just makes it less bad that Peter's friends forgave him. Dream Quagmire was still outvoted.
I knew Striker was going to die a few seconds before he did. He seemed perfectly supportive of Peter maybe not doing all of this crazy stuff because he wasn't ready, and Peter had just nuked his bridges. Of course he had to die.
George Clooney was the second worst Batman? Who was the worst? Because I actually think it was Clooney.
I cannot believe they got Kathleen Turner to voice herself after all of the crap this show has put her through. I would have believed it more likely they had actually snagged Meryl Streep.
LOL at Stewie's "Photography Club".
"Why do you always have to be so bleeping negative all of the time?" It's weird that it's Chris asking this, because Brian should have made this observation ages ago. But it's not that Stewie is diabolical which is why he always complains. It's because he a jaded, whiny loser. Good for you, Chris.
Passable episode but nothing special. ***1/2.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine “Kicks”
I knew Adrian didn’t cheat on Rosa just because Pimento’s entire shtick is that he is nowhere near as bad as he outwardly appears. He’s not a good person. But he’s not a bad one either, and deep down, he’s actually quite sweet, if not virtuous. Notice when Rosa breaks up with him his response is grief rather than anger. And frankly, he had every right to be angry. But he’s sweet deep down, so he isn’t.
I also love that Holt thought Jake’s second thoughts were a strength, and it reminded me why I loved this show. This show doesn’t portray cops as they are. It portrays them as they should be. I love that Jake is so upset by his newfound empathy that wants to take the suspension. But Holt is right. It makes him a better cop. If all cops had a side of “What if he didn’t do it?” we’d all be better off. But still Jake wants desk duty and Holt is supportive enough to give it to. I love these characters and I love this show.
The kneeling thing wasn’t particularly funny, but the cliff-jumping after Rosa thing was. You ask me Raymond Holt just made a very convincing argument for jumping off a cliff. I also like that Holt thinks that by Jake deciding to end the guessing game because Holt is no fun means Holt wins by default. I don’t think Holt gets how games work.
First episode of the year I really liked. ****.
The Good Place “Existential Crisis”
First off, Eleanor’s mother was a monster. It is a miracle she is as well adjusted as she is. She is a Tammy 2 level of suck. Before Donald Trump became more well-known to me I assumed people like this didn’t actually exist. Now Eleanor’s mother and Tammy 2 are freaking quaint.
Jason and Tahini. I disapprove. Jason can do better and I think him and Janet are true soul mates. Why do I think this? Because of the four of the group Tahini is easily the worst person. She is the only person among the four still being tortured. Nobody else is falling for it anymore. But Tahini is SUCH a terrible person, with SUCH terrible values, that the fake party she’s throwing to cast of suspicion actually matter to her. The one thing I liked is that she realized how appallingly shallow her tortures were and what a horrible person she must be to actually care about them. But see, just because she’s aware it is horrible that she actually cares about this stupid crap, doesn’t mean she still doesn’t care about it. And that pretty much makes her a monster.
I’m guessing the show can spin its wheels for around a season based on this premise. But considering how quickly this show tends to blow through mythology it is quite possible this particular status quo will be short lived.
Good episode though. ****.
The Last Man On Earth "Stocko Syndrome"
Oh, my God, Season Four, and this show is still amazing. How do they do it?
Glenn's story about his family ripped my guts in half. The premise of the show is essentially comedic, but it is actually dark and tragic, and that right there showed why. Can you imagine not even knowing about something like that? He took the truth from Carol much better than I would have predicted and turned out to be a decent person by not wanting to abandon Pamela.
Speaking of which, I find it very interesting that Tandy sort of became her advocate for not leaving her behind because she became a "team player" (whatever that means) after Tandy got ahold of the gun. It is not a surprise to me that Tandy would do that. What is a surprise is that he agreed to abide with whatever the rest of the group decided without making a huge stink about his contrary opinion. There are very few ways you can actually show character growth for a loathsome psychopath like Tandy. That was definitely one of them.
Amazing television. Still. *****.
Ghosted "Jermaine The Zombie"
Pretty good. I'm starting to get the hang of this show. ****.
The Blacklist “Miss Rebecca Thrall”
Sort of rolled my eyes at Ressler talking about how he believed cops were the good guys after what he’s gotten himself into.
Red getting his own plane was fun, and I laughed at the elephants and a gassy Glen inviting himself over.
Not as much fun as the first two weeks. ***.