"Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice: Ultimate Edition" Review (Major Spoilers)
Also an extended review for the Theatrical Cut, and reviews for the latest episodes of Once Upon A Time and Bob's Burgers.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Zootopia, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Batman Unlimited: Mechs Vs. Mutants, Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Batman: The Killing Joke, Batman: Return Of The Caped Crusaders, The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Constantine: The Complete Series, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Star Trek Beyond (Blu-Ray), Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Powr Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Peanuts Movie, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Ghostbusters: Answer: The Call, Community: Season 6, Red Dwarf XI, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Once Upon A Time "Changelings"
ABC: Has Rumpelstiltskin gone too far? Answer: Surprisingly, no.
I love that the twist is that Rumple did the right thing and it blew up in his face. I was very unhappy during the episode until I learned the Evil Queen spiked the tea. And the fact that Rumple doesn't even try to use that justification in that moment tells me that it is very possible Rumple hit the rock bottom he needed to climb his way out of the hole he's dug himself in. Not making excuses is the first selfless thing he's done in a couple of seasons.
Shocker of the night: We find out why Rumple hates fairies. Shocker #2: He has a VERY good reason.
I hope Zelina fully appreciates the sister's love she's wasted. Here's the thing: I don't think Regina is wrong or selfish for being unforgiving. Zelina hasn't been making the slightest bit of effort to EARN her forgiveness. She just expects it to magically happen on its own without her having to put in the work. And it's really cool to see a show say that forgiveness does not need to be, or even should be, unconditional. Not forgiving somebody for hurting you does not make you either bad or weak. It's just sometimes something that happens. And it's also normal.
This was not very enjoyable to watch and painful in places, but it's the fact that they fooled me so completely with the tea reveal as to why this gets a super positive grade. I may not have liked it. But I appreciated it. ****1/2.
Bob's Burgers "The Last Gingerbread House On The Left"
Louise saying "And then they never saw him again," pretty much summed up the rest of the episode. I also laughed at her saying she decided she was going to have a kid when she grew up after all so she could feed it to the bear. Only Kristen Schaal could get away with that.
I also laughed at Gene telling Linda she was great in a crisis. Because she isn't.
The show has done better Christmas episodes but this wasn't bad. ***.
Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice
I liked it more than I thought I would.
I love that the movie was actually kind enough to give us a clear winner in this fight: Batman. A lesser movie would have decided to make it a "tie" until they teamed up. But this movie definitely said that, no, Batman actually won.
I forgot Martha Kent and Martha Wayne have the same first names. That was a great moment. And it's precisely because I never realized it before as to why it is great. Amy Adams was amazing in that scene. The way she said "It's his mother's name," gave me goosebumps.
I loved Batman's reaction to that. He looks outright embarrassed. He realizes in the space of a split second that his entire mission for the entire movie was completely misguided. He feels stupid about it. All because he and Clark's mothers share names.
I especially like that his first reaction before anger and embarrassment is actual confusion. His line upon hearing that is "What does that mean? Why did you say that name?" If there is ever evidence that Batman ain't the hot stuff he thinks he is, it's that moment. He is outright unnerved here. And I love it.
Amy Adams in the tub: Swoon! Quality nudity there. But I am a little appalled at Clark splashing a bathtub full of water all over the floor like that. They must not care for the downstairs neighbors at all.
Here's something I noticed: Henry Cavill's muscle tone is MUCH smaller than it was in the first movie. To be perfectly blunt, his physique in the first movie is SO abnormally sculpted, that I get why it would be considered unreasonable to have Henry Cavill work out that much for EVERY single movie. But I did notice it.
As for Ben Affleck, it's not that he was bad (or good). It's just he wasn't the best person for Batman. There have to be dozens of great actors out there of the same age who would be better for the role. I get that he's "good enough". But I'm sick of having to settle for Batman actors because the studios always want a name. WB took a chance with Christopher Reeve, Brandon Routh, and Henry Cavill. Why does Batman always have to be a famous person?
Something I DID like about Bruce: I liked that he notes that he's now older than his parents ever were. We don't see too many Batman interpretations where that is true. The only ones I've seen were Dark Knight Returns and Batman Beyond, so I'm probably missing something. But he is now too old to die young. I like that observation from Alfred. I also appreciate the idea that Alfred thinks Bruce can do more good as Bruce than as Batman. He got the info he needed as Bruce, after all.
But I DON'T like Alfred. Jeremy Irons sucks as him and it seems they can never cast the part right. Michael Caine would have been close if not for the cockney accent. I think the best live-action Alfred we've gotten was Ian Abercrombie from Birds of Prey. Don't look at me like that. It's true.
This Alfred is terrible. Part of it is Irons' performance (he's dreary and morose and talks like he has a mouthful of syrup) the other is that the character is outright badly written. He speaks in the third person more than once as if to remind the audience who Alfred is to Batman, as if we've never seen a Batman project before. It made me cringe.
So the scene of Superman ripping off the mask was a dream sequence? Wow, the trailers do NOT play fair with the audience. I was actually angered by that.
Do you know what drives me nuts about the mask being torn off? And this goes for Michael Keaton and Christian Bale too. When he takes off the cowl, he is very noticeably missing the very visible guyliner around his eyes. Granted, it would look goofy, but dang it, I actually notice that it isn't there! I spotted this continuity error back in the theaters in summer of '92 with Batman Returns, and I'm amazed they STILL haven't bothered to fix it. It drives me nuts.
I don't care if it was a dream or a vision from the future, Batman firing guns and killing people felt completely wrong. If the vision of the Flash IS time travel, and he told Bruce he was right about Clark, that hints to me Superman will be a villain in a future movie.
Batman looks stupid wearing a leather duster jacket over his costume in the desert. Somebody should have pointed that out to Snyder before the movie was released.
Plot hole: The people killed in the foreign country that Superman was framed for killing were killed by... guns? Is that right? If so, why is Superman even a suspect? He doesn't use them and he doesn't even NEED them. You think Batman using guns isn't credible? Superman using them just plain doesn't make sense.
The extended edition shows that there were burned bodies (which automatically makes Superman a suspect) but nobody checked to see if the corpses also had bullets in them? Plothole.
Speaking of deplorable Batman behavior, the mark he gives to criminals to give them a death sentence tells me Snyder doesn't get Batman at all. Seriously. That idea is a Punisher level of suck. The fact that Bruce does this shows that he is every bit the monster he claims Superman is.
"You aren't brave. Men are brave." What does that even mean?
How is the adaptation of the Wayne murders? Average, but I like that they took the tack that the pearl necklace got tangled in the gun, and it was the gun firing that broke the necklace. That was an interesting visual.
I think my biggest problem with the movie is that it had so much going on it was hard to follow. What was Lex's specific role in everything? I couldn't always tell what was a dream sequence and what wasn't. I couldn't follow a great deal of the last act. And how did Superman know Batman was Bruce Wayne? How did Lex? And how will Lex knowing Superman is Clark affect future movies since they didn't kill Lex off? How will Lex knowing Bruce is Batman work too? How will they navigate those bombshells?
Gal Gadot was perfect as Wonder Woman. Love that they let her keep her accent. Her on-screen reveal was pure dynamite, and her orchestral theme is outright magnificent. I can already tell the Wonder Woman movie is going to have an amazing score. Wonder Woman was the one flawless part of the movie. Her action scenes were absolutely amazing. She actually smiles at one point in the climax. She loves it and I love her for it.
Jesse Eisenberg was a mixed bag as Luthor. He was funny and quirky, and I liked him personally. But he kept spouting a bunch of nonsense that sounded deep, but just does not hold up to closer inspection. Example: he says the greatest lie in America is power can be innocent. I have NEVER heard anyone say that, ever. The entire cautionary point of power allegories is that it corrupts absolutely. I have never heard someone EVER declare power was innocent. Even bad guys who have power don't think that. Can you imagine Hitler uttering that? No. Luthor seems kind of crazy to me and when he tells Lois that "psychotic is a 3 syllable word for being unwilling to open your mind," I was thinking, "Lois was right the first time." He's nucking futs.
Him pushing Lois off the building was truly appalling. I kind of think we've been conditioned to accept that crap in superhero movies, but it is literally the most abusive thing a man could do to a woman in that situation, and he isn't actually punished for it. Action movies have normalized male on female violence, and that's partly why they suck. Because Superman immediately saves her, we aren't as p*ssed off at Lex as we should be. And that bothers me. A lot.
He also allows Mercy Graves to get blown up. Ugh.
And what was up with the Jolly Ranchers? Weirdest and randomest product placement EVER! And he licks his fingers after putting them in that guy's mouth! Gross! The guy's reaction being distaste to all of his insane requests probably should have been a red flag for him not to actually grant them. I still don't get why he did. It's not like he doesn't get blown up with everybody else for his troubles.
I liked Lex's moment of saying he'd VERY much like to be in command of the Kryptonian ship. Eisenberg played it completely sincere, which made it endearing.
"Do not pick a fight with this gentleman." Total trailer bait. And it works.
I also love "The red capes are coming! The red capes are coming!" Because Lex seems a bit unsure when he says it to Finch, which is why he says it quietly. I think he's afraid it may reveal a bit too much about his mindset to her. His idea of Devil's coming from the sky was similarly profound as was "If man cannot kill God then the Devil will do it."
I like that he says his father was an East German kid who was forced to wave flowers at tyrants. That's interesting to me, because on almost every level, I hate the Good German during WWII. I hate that evil festers when good men do nothing. But Lex is kind of right. Did they even have a choice to wave those flags? I never thought of it like that and it kind of disturbs me that I now do. Also the German thing seems to be a subconscious hint that his father was abusive before Lex confirms that at the end.
Lex's Southern drawl line about depending on the kindness of monsters is interesting because Lex is a total monster. I also loved him telling Bruce that his R and D department was up to all kinds of no-good. Because it's true and he's not trying to pretend differently.
I loved that the people at the party look at him as if he were nuts before they clapped at his speech. Because he is. When he says "paradoxical" you want to throw a net over him. Instead, the white people politely clap. Donald Trump rallies are the same way.
Lex seems to always be trying to unnerve his enemies by being off-putting, whether it is slamming a superball on a table, or rhythmically drumming his fingers.
The moment where he tried to comfort Superman over his mother being kidnapped was interesting. He reaches for his head to pat it, but cannot quite allow himself to touch an alien. It, like everything about Lex, was off-putting.
I really like that they introduced Lex in the movie by him sinking a basket. Because chill is the last thing I think of Lex as, and it was a perfect example of him making a favorable impression and always getting in a win. It's sort of told us what to expect with this Lex on a subconscious level.
Alfred declaring that the person Bruce is chasing might be a Phantasm wrote a check this movie's butt couldn't cash. I didn't actually expect to see Andrea Beaumont in the movie. But that dumb line made it so that I wanted to.
Speaking of The Russian, I think the sleek, cold-blooded Anatoli here is the exact same comic book character as Oliver Queen's rumpled, lovable, middle-aged, curmudgeonly, Bratva friend on Arrow. Knowing little about the comics, I have to wonder which version is more true to that character.
With the montage of all of the real life pundits like Charlie Rose, Andrew Sullivan and Neil deGrasse Tyson arguing over the ethics of political power and whether or not the world truly needs a Superman the first thing that came to my mind was "This movie needs a talking gorilla. Badly."
That segment outright sucked. It was badly written, badly directed, and made the movie seem worse than it was. I was actually embarrassed on behalf of Rose, Sullivan, and deGrasse Tyson. I cannot imagine a normal person being asked to read line in a straight voice that make it sound like Superman isn't the goofiest thing ever. It ain't as deep as the fans think. Now where are my talking gorillas?
Another horrible line was "With balls like those, you belong in here." I am embarrassed that such a gifted actor as Harry Lennix was forced to deliver it. Not cool, universe.
"Nobody cares about Clark Kent taking on the Batman." Considering some of the reviews and fan reactions Perry sound downright prophetic here.
Laurence Fishburne was great as Perry. He had a bigger role in this movie, or at least more good scenes. When he's telling Clark it's no longer 1938 and apples no longer cost a nickel, I was like "I almost believe he lived that." The 1938 line about Clark only being relevant in that specific year is great too. And I love that Perry never seems to know where Clark goes or why he is never there.
June Finch: The Democratic Junior Senator from Kentucky. Yeah, right. Somehow in a movie about an alien demigod in colorful Underoos, a guy who dresses up like a Bat and rides around in an armored dune buggy, and an Immortal Amazon warrior, that is easily the least credible thing in it.
I like that June seems to know that she is going to die upon seeing the jar of p*ss (and Luthor being absent) and I liked that the people in the cafe of Smallville were probably upset about the explosion for an entirely different reason than the rest of the world. More on that later.
I love Bruce calling Clark "Son" and saying that Superman is a freak in a clown suit. Because, they can spruce that costume up with dark tones and lavish fabric all they want. It is STILL incredibly garish. A clown suit is a proper comparison.
I will never get used to or like Bruce waking up next to random nameless women. Does Batman REALLY need to be a cad to put up the facade of being a playboy? I get that Batman's a user of people but I don't like the idea of him using women that way. Speaking of Bruce being appalling, I nearly died of embarrassment on his behalf after he lamely tells Mercy he likes her shoes. Seriously? THAT'S the best line he could come up with in that moment?
Is Batman a pill-popper? The first thing he does when he wakes up is take a prescription pill and down it with booze. It is quite possible this Batman is an addict. He's already a murderer. It wouldn't be his only vice.
Major Ferris? Actually, the credits let us know it was spelled Major Farris but it would have been a cool Green Lantern Easter Egg if it had actually been Carol.
Is the Robin suit spray painted with Joker graffiti Jason Todd's? And if it was, why does Batman not only keep it, but give it such a prominent display in his trophy room? That's one Easter Egg that wasn't well thought out.
Martha telling Clark he didn't owe the world anything and never did reminds me very clearly why I dislike this version of the Kents so much. What is especially perplexing is that right before she tells him that she tells him to be what the world wants him to be. Make up your mind, Ma.
Speaking of Martha, when Batman says "I'm a friend of your son's," I was like "Oh, really? You're friends now? Does Clark know this?"
I also hated her line about guessing he was a friend because of the cape. Because the movie sort of stops for a few seconds after she says it. Obviously, the writers did that to allow the audience time to chuckle at the laughline. But those kinds of pauses are really noticeable when the laughline isn't actually funny.
I don't get the vision of Jonathan. The story he tells Clark is way too specific a story to be told by a dream or a hallucination. It's nitty gritty farmer details and specific moments from his life Clark would have no reference for. And if he has no reference for them, that makes them untrue. Which suddenly makes the scene pointless. And it also makes it like every other Kevin Costner movie.
Do you know what moment got me? Bruce seeing "You let your family die" in red letters on the newspaper clipping. That had to sting for more than one reason. It was good it is revealed Lex was behind the newspaper mindscrew with Bruce. I kind of thought those words were a little TOO on the nose to be penned by a mere former Wayne employee. That was a genius level of manipulation that makes more sense if it is actually intentional.
I cannot stand Ezra's Miller Flash already and we've just seen him in a dream sequence and security cam footage. He's about as ugly of an actor as Adam Driver, he wears his hair dirty and long, and has a teenage, d0uchbag goatee. TV's The Flash shows I am very open to different interpretations of Barry Allen. But "D-bag Barry" is taking it too far. I have similar dark feelings about Jason Mamoa as Aquaman, but at least there I see they are TRYING to go for something different. I think Miller is simply miscast.
Lex having Polaroids of Mrs. Kent in bondage and frightened out of her wits is really no better than the Joker doing the same thing to Barbara Gordon in The Killing Joke. Lex is a sicko.
I love that guy referring to Zod as the "Kryptonian decedent". What a clinical way to not have to point out what a monster Zod was.
Cute moment with the sword of Alexander and Bruce and Diana. But when that museum curator tells Diana to "enjoy" looking at the sword I was like "How can somebody possibly enjoy looking at an old sword?" I get that museums are necessary and people go there to find out about art and history. But I have never actually ENJOYED anything in a museum and think the idea that somebody should is goofy.
I like the idea that the first generation of Waynes were hunters. Means less to the canon than the movie thinks it does, but it's a cool detail.
Ev'ry time I hear "Ev'ry Time I Say Goodbye" I think of Sideshow Bob. And yes, I'm one of THOSE Simpsons fans. Who thinks his first appearance was the best.
Love seeing Chris Pine in the Wonder Woman photo. What an awful haircut.
Batman calling Superman an "it" shows that he is detestable.
But I have to say, just based on the opening, I was immediately Team Batman for much of the movie. The fact that Superman didn't care about all of the carnage in the last movie IS appalling, and Bruce is right to be angry. I'm glad they moved the climax of THIS movie to an abandoned island.
The problem with Batman is that I think Luthor punked him too completely. I mean, Luthor was nothing but sloppy with his framejob, and yet he fools the World's Greatest Detective 100%. It's actually Lois who does the legwork of solving the mystery. I understand that Lois is an excellent reporter. But again, I think the idea that the World's Greatest Detective didn't see a giant con job all along is a big mark against Bruce's intelligence.
Bruce telling Diana he's known a few women like her before is another thing that shows that Bruce is an exceptionally bad judge of character. This Batman's defining characteristic to me seems to be that he is always wrong.
I also really hate the "Do you bleed?" line upon hearing it again. Because Affleck leers when he says it. He asks that particular question in the same tone of voice as a pervert would ask a 12 year old girl about her first period. And it's exactly because of the tone of voice that makes that particular line as creepy as it is. I want to take a shower now.
One of the reasons the fight is so ill-advised is because Batman and Superman are each weakening and injuring each other right when they need to fight Doomsday. I'm convinced if Superman was at full strength he wouldn't have died. Also, Bruce pretty much uses almost his entire stockpile of Kryptonite. Nice going there, numbnuts.
Do you know what moment during the fight was dumb? When Superman gets his second-wind, Batman raises his hands slightly as if to non-verbally say "Let's talk about this. We can be reasonable." I hate that moment not only because Bruce did nothing up to that point to EARN Superman's reason, but because he goes right back to trying to kill him once he regains the upper hand. Batman seemed entirely too cowardly and conniving in that moment.
Doomsday is a total rip-off of the Uruk-Hai from Lord of the Rings. Even the slimepit birth is identical.
Lex's first reaction to seeing Doomsday is interesting: he's calm and serene. I gotta say, even if I knew it wasn't going to hurt me, that is STILL the last emotion I would have been feeling right then. Lex is nuts.
You can tell how much Batman frightened Lex in prison with the mark by the way his voice cracked on the word "dead". I think the snot on Lex's face was disgusting and pretty much the most unnecessary character quirk ever. I know Lex is a lunatic. I don't need to lose my lunch with that visual telling me what I already know.
Batman's cowl is apparently bulletproof. He gets shot twice point blank in the head in the climax and his reaction is "Ow!"
Whenever I hear someone say "Fire at will!" in a movie I always hear Don Karnage saying "Do not fire at Will! He is my second-mate! Fire at the Seaduck!"
I would not have minded the death of Superman so much if it hadn't slowed down the last twenty minutes of the movie. It made the movie seem like a bigger bummer than it was. The movie was a LOT more fun than I expected, and Superman ain't gonna actually stay dead, so I was kind of miffed they made the ending sad for no real reason. Because of it the movie was WAY too long too.
There's something good about Clark's funeral. They returned to the idea that Superman's identity is an open secret in Smallville, and everyone there keeps their mouths shut to protect Clark. Frankly, that idea is the best thing in the Snyderverse.
I liked this more than I expected. DEFINITELY better than Man Of Steel. And by a lot. ****.
Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice: Ultimate Edition
I like the theatrical version very much, but in the back of my head I kind of thought that the movie felt a bit long and bloated. I don't even feel that about the extended cut. It IS long and bloated. Unlike the PG-13 cut, it is not a matter up for debate.
I'll say one positive thing about that. If you have a crippling phobia of your own mortality, watch this version of the movie. Because it feels like your life will never end. Pretty much the first words out of my mouth after the end credits were "That was an ordeal."
The extended versions of The Lord Of The Rings seemed to have been created because Peter Jackson had a mess of great scenes he couldn't justify putting in a movie with "only" a three hour runtime. That isn't Zack Snyder's mindset. These are all scenes not good enough to be in the final film, and Snyder put them back in and made the movie worse. The Extended Rings films enhance that experience. This diminishes it. Totally.
I'm a little appalled they actually went and made the onscreen title at the beginning "Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice Ultimate Edition". Because what sounds like gimmicky marketing for the DVD's looks completely cheesy in the actual film itself. I tolerate dumbness when I'm being sold superheroes. I'm less okay with it when I'm watching them.
The only people who are afraid of Batman are people who have REASON to be afraid of Batman. Great line. I don't buy it. The extended cut explored the brand further, and it is exactly as horrific as we were led to believe, and we even got a face put to one of the victims of it. You may think Superman is overreacting when he rips the roof off the Batmobile, tells Batman the Bat is dead, and to never answer the Batsignal again, but if you see this cut of the movie, you'll completely understand why he actually did that. Bruce is a scumbag.
Perry calls Clark a nerd in the R-rated cut. I gotta say, that makes about as much sense as pretending Rachel Leigh Cook is ugly in She's All That. I don't care if he's wearing glasses. He's sculpted like a Roman God with a face out of a J Crew catalog. There are many negative ways to describe this version of Clark, but a nerd he is not. This version of the character doesn't even try to pass for one, so I don't know why Perry says something that stupid in the first place.
Jena Malone from The Hunger Games and Jon Stewart are in the extended cut. It is surprising how unfunny Jon Stewart is here, and I realize that guy owes a LOT to talented writers of which this movie is somewhat lacking. I like Malone's line about Lois being a good reporter because stuff like this still shocks her though.
The fantasy / dream / future sequence is extended here and things seem a wee bit more Apokoliptic (misspelling intended) if you get my drift. This hints to me that if Superman IS gonna be a bad guy in a future movie, he's going to do so under Darkseid's control. We'll see.
Luthor is sent to Arkham in the R rated version, and it is made more explicit he knows Batman is Bruce. Why did they send him to Arkham in the extended cut? That's just going to contradict however he returns in either Justice League or the Superman sequel. It seemed a REALLY weird thing to include an alternate take on, especially since it probably will not even be true once the sequels are released.
It is revealed in the extended cut that the photographer / C.I.A. agent killed at the beginning is Jimmy Olsen. Jimmy Olsen getting a bullet in the head in the first 20 minutes sort of told us what kind of movie this was gonna be. And it wasn't a hint that it was gonna be awesome.
The movie DID have an explanation as to why Clark didn't spot the bomb: it was encased in lead. Makes sense.
The extended cut is a big bucket of suck. I do not fully agree with all of the slams on the movie. But every single complaint I've heard leveled at the movie (too dark, boring, long) is 100% true in the extended cut. **.
Uniting The World's Finest:
About the start of the DC Cinematic Universe. We got to see clips from the Wonder Woman movie. I still think Jason Mamoa is incredibly miscast as Aquaman though and I hate Ezra Miller. ***1/2.
Gods And Men: A Meeting Of Giants:
Putting Batman and Superman in a movie together in 2016 is not cool and admirable. It's like Disney bragging about creating a black human character for Atlantis: The Lost Empire in the year 2000. It's far too late to brag about it. It should have happened decades ago. What took them so long? I especially resent the idea of this being portrayed as historic because frankly, the movie could have been better. I liked it more than most people, but if this were truly cinema history it would be great instead of good. The producers noted that Affleck's Batman is "angrier" than the previous live-action movie versions. Do you know what? Even if that's true, I never noticed it. Because that should be NORMAL for Batman. Ben Affleck doing something that all of the other actors should have been doing all along is again, not a brag. Although it does make me realize once again how wholly inadequate Christian Bale and Michael Keaton were. Geoff Johns is right about how cool the Martha connection in the movie is. A couple of people noted that Batman pursues justice at any cost. That is simply not true. Anyone who has a "no kill code" by definition is not someone who pursues justice at any cost. While it is true Batman's moral line is MUCH farther back than Superman's, it still exists 100%. Him not going over the edge and walking the line between justice and vengeance is one of the most interesting parts of the character. How does Zack Snyder not know that? ***.
The Warrior, The Myth, The Wonder:
Cool that William Moulton Marsten was so sympathetic to the suffragist movement. Not very many progressive comic book creators back then. This showed clips from the Bruce Timm Wonder Woman movie and the old TV series. There was an interesting observation for why the Linda Carter version worked. She didn't play it sexy and wasn't self-conscious at all. Despite the fact that she was in a ridiculously skimpy bathing suit she never acted like she was dressed out of the ordinary. Just the fact that the character seems unaware of how hot she is makes her instantly cool and relatable. ***1/2.
Accelerating Design: The New Batmobile:
I hate this Batmobile. The movie producers ARE aware the Batmobile is a car, right? And not a tank? Or in this case a dune buggy? And what is the Batmobile doing with machine guns? It's like Zack Snyder doesn't know Bruce Wayne at all. *.
Superman: Complexity And Truth:
Am I crazy in thinking Henry Cavill looks less cut in this picture than he did in the first one? He muscles seemed MUCH smaller in his topless scene. I'll tell you something I hate about this movie. Zack Snyder had literary references stitched into Superman's suit in Kryptonian symbols. But they were so small nobody could see them, much less read them. And yet, that was a note in the script. Do you know what detail he probably should have studied more? That you don't put freaking machine guns on the Batmobile. ***.
Batman: Austerity And Rage:
I like the Batsuit very much. As Geoff Johns notes, it's cool because it brings back the grey. Frankly, I wouldn't have turned up my nose at any blue or yellow either, but maybe that's just me. ***.
Wonder Woman: Grace And Power:
Diana's costume is my favorite in the movie. Query: This points out that like the Batsuit, Diana's costume is old and well-worn. Does that mean both costumes smell bad? I mean it's bad enough it looks like Bruce had had the same Batsuit for two decades, but it's possible Diana has had hers for centuries. How do they clean them? Are the suits machine washable? Or do they have to employ EXTREMELY discreet dry cleaners? Or do they simply live with the jank? Inquiring minds want to know. ****.
Batcave: The Legacy Of The Lair:
I love the Batcave too. I love that the entrance opens up underwater. I think bad guys would have a VERY tough time finding that. ****.
The Might And The Power Of A Punch:
Yeah, I don't need to know the science behind this. Let's just watch them hit stuff. Wait, Batman is 3 inches taller than Superman? That seem weird to anyone else? And AGAIN with the machine guns! Aurgh! ***1/2.
The Empire Of Luthor:
Several people in this claim Luthor is smarter than Batman. Is that true? Because if I was in charge of writing DC Comics, it wouldn't be. Just considering his poor impulse control and terrible decision making tendencies, if you are saying this nut is smarter than Batman, then Batman is probably not as smart as advertised. Am I the only who realizes that? I like that this version of Luthor is friendly and gregarious. A person with such a tall stature in high society should be better at playing politics than Luthor usually is portrayed as. And again, the fact that he usually has poor social skills when trying to needle people to do things his way makes me believe that if he ISN'T dumber than Batman, he at least SHOULD be. By the way? You think Luthor has a bad haircut? Check Jesse Eisenberg out of make-up. Yikes. ****.
Save The Bats:
Brutal honesty time: Grossest. P.S.A.. EVER. *.
Suicide Squad Trailer: Not as good as the Bohemian Rhapsody trailer. ****.
Batman: The Killing Joker Trailer: Cool trailer although they should have hyped the pedigree of Bruce Timm, Kevin Conroy, and Mark Hamill. ****1/2.
Blu-Ray Menu: Very nice. ****.
Upcoming reviews include Doctor Who: Series 9, The X-Files: Season 10, Avengers: Age Of Ultron (Blu-Ray), Marvel's Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.: Season 2, Marvel's Agent Carter: Season 1, Ant-Man (Blu-Ray), Captain America: Civil War (Blu-Ray), Daredevil: Season 1, The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Blu-Ray), X-Men: Days Of Future Past: The Rogue Cut, Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse (Blu-Ray), The Lion Guard: Return Of The Roar (DVD), Zootopia, Inside Out (Blu-Ray), The Good Dinosaur (Blu-Ray), Finding Dory (Blu-Ray), Once Upon A Time: Season 5, Star Wars: The Force Awakens (Blu-Ray), Star Wars Rebels: Season 2, Lego Star Wars: Droid Tales, Jim Henson's Turkey Hollow (DVD), Batman Unlimited: Mechs Vs. Mutants, Justice League Vs. Teen Titans, Batman: The Killing Joke, Batman: Return Of The Caped Crusaders, The Flash: Season 2, Arrow: Season 4, DC's Legends Of Tomorrow: Season 1, Supergirl: Season 1, Constantine: The Complete Series, Gotham: Season 2, iZombie: Season 1, iZombie: Season 2, Lucifer: Season 1, Be Cool Scooby Doo!: Spooky Kooky Fun!, Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Prod.: Hare-Raising Tales, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Desolation Of Smaug: Extended Edition, The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies: Extended Edition, Star Trek Beyond (Blu-Ray), Airplane! / Airplane II: The Sequel: Double Feature, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Beyond The Known Universe, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Half-Shell Heroes: Blast To The Past, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Zeo: Volume 2, Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie, Power Rangers Turbo: Volume 1, Power Rangers: Turbo: Volume 2, Power Rangers In Space Volume 1, Power Rangers In Space: Volume 2, Power Rangers Samurai: The Complete Season, Powr Rangers: Megaforce: The Complete Season, Power Rangers: Super Megaforce: The Complete Season, Transformers: Robots In Disguise: Season 1, Heroes Reborn: The Complete Series, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 1: Water, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 2: Earth, Avatar: The Last Airbender: Book 3: Fire, Haven: Season 5 - Vol. 1, Haven: The Final Season, Under The Dome: Season 3, Sleepy Hollow: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 2, Brooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 3, The Jurassic Park Trilogy, Jurassic World, Back To The Future: The Complete Animated Series, Tremor 5: Bloodlines, Shaun The Sheep Movie (Blu-Ray), Shaun The Sheep: The Farmer's Llamas, 12 Monkeys: Season 1, Grimm: Season 4, Grimm: Season 5, The Wonder Years: Season 4, The Wonder Years: Season 5, The Peanuts Movie, The Hunger Games: Mockingjay: Part 2, Ghostbusters: Answer: The Call, Community: Season 6, Red Dwarf XI, Hannibal: Season 1, Hannibal: Season 2, Hannibal: Season 3, Game Of Thrones: Season 5, and Game of Thrones: Season 6.
Once Upon A Time "Changelings"
ABC: Has Rumpelstiltskin gone too far? Answer: Surprisingly, no.
I love that the twist is that Rumple did the right thing and it blew up in his face. I was very unhappy during the episode until I learned the Evil Queen spiked the tea. And the fact that Rumple doesn't even try to use that justification in that moment tells me that it is very possible Rumple hit the rock bottom he needed to climb his way out of the hole he's dug himself in. Not making excuses is the first selfless thing he's done in a couple of seasons.
Shocker of the night: We find out why Rumple hates fairies. Shocker #2: He has a VERY good reason.
I hope Zelina fully appreciates the sister's love she's wasted. Here's the thing: I don't think Regina is wrong or selfish for being unforgiving. Zelina hasn't been making the slightest bit of effort to EARN her forgiveness. She just expects it to magically happen on its own without her having to put in the work. And it's really cool to see a show say that forgiveness does not need to be, or even should be, unconditional. Not forgiving somebody for hurting you does not make you either bad or weak. It's just sometimes something that happens. And it's also normal.
This was not very enjoyable to watch and painful in places, but it's the fact that they fooled me so completely with the tea reveal as to why this gets a super positive grade. I may not have liked it. But I appreciated it. ****1/2.
Bob's Burgers "The Last Gingerbread House On The Left"
Louise saying "And then they never saw him again," pretty much summed up the rest of the episode. I also laughed at her saying she decided she was going to have a kid when she grew up after all so she could feed it to the bear. Only Kristen Schaal could get away with that.
I also laughed at Gene telling Linda she was great in a crisis. Because she isn't.
The show has done better Christmas episodes but this wasn't bad. ***.
Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice
I liked it more than I thought I would.
I love that the movie was actually kind enough to give us a clear winner in this fight: Batman. A lesser movie would have decided to make it a "tie" until they teamed up. But this movie definitely said that, no, Batman actually won.
I forgot Martha Kent and Martha Wayne have the same first names. That was a great moment. And it's precisely because I never realized it before as to why it is great. Amy Adams was amazing in that scene. The way she said "It's his mother's name," gave me goosebumps.
I loved Batman's reaction to that. He looks outright embarrassed. He realizes in the space of a split second that his entire mission for the entire movie was completely misguided. He feels stupid about it. All because he and Clark's mothers share names.
I especially like that his first reaction before anger and embarrassment is actual confusion. His line upon hearing that is "What does that mean? Why did you say that name?" If there is ever evidence that Batman ain't the hot stuff he thinks he is, it's that moment. He is outright unnerved here. And I love it.
Amy Adams in the tub: Swoon! Quality nudity there. But I am a little appalled at Clark splashing a bathtub full of water all over the floor like that. They must not care for the downstairs neighbors at all.
Here's something I noticed: Henry Cavill's muscle tone is MUCH smaller than it was in the first movie. To be perfectly blunt, his physique in the first movie is SO abnormally sculpted, that I get why it would be considered unreasonable to have Henry Cavill work out that much for EVERY single movie. But I did notice it.
As for Ben Affleck, it's not that he was bad (or good). It's just he wasn't the best person for Batman. There have to be dozens of great actors out there of the same age who would be better for the role. I get that he's "good enough". But I'm sick of having to settle for Batman actors because the studios always want a name. WB took a chance with Christopher Reeve, Brandon Routh, and Henry Cavill. Why does Batman always have to be a famous person?
Something I DID like about Bruce: I liked that he notes that he's now older than his parents ever were. We don't see too many Batman interpretations where that is true. The only ones I've seen were Dark Knight Returns and Batman Beyond, so I'm probably missing something. But he is now too old to die young. I like that observation from Alfred. I also appreciate the idea that Alfred thinks Bruce can do more good as Bruce than as Batman. He got the info he needed as Bruce, after all.
But I DON'T like Alfred. Jeremy Irons sucks as him and it seems they can never cast the part right. Michael Caine would have been close if not for the cockney accent. I think the best live-action Alfred we've gotten was Ian Abercrombie from Birds of Prey. Don't look at me like that. It's true.
This Alfred is terrible. Part of it is Irons' performance (he's dreary and morose and talks like he has a mouthful of syrup) the other is that the character is outright badly written. He speaks in the third person more than once as if to remind the audience who Alfred is to Batman, as if we've never seen a Batman project before. It made me cringe.
So the scene of Superman ripping off the mask was a dream sequence? Wow, the trailers do NOT play fair with the audience. I was actually angered by that.
Do you know what drives me nuts about the mask being torn off? And this goes for Michael Keaton and Christian Bale too. When he takes off the cowl, he is very noticeably missing the very visible guyliner around his eyes. Granted, it would look goofy, but dang it, I actually notice that it isn't there! I spotted this continuity error back in the theaters in summer of '92 with Batman Returns, and I'm amazed they STILL haven't bothered to fix it. It drives me nuts.
I don't care if it was a dream or a vision from the future, Batman firing guns and killing people felt completely wrong. If the vision of the Flash IS time travel, and he told Bruce he was right about Clark, that hints to me Superman will be a villain in a future movie.
Batman looks stupid wearing a leather duster jacket over his costume in the desert. Somebody should have pointed that out to Snyder before the movie was released.
Plot hole: The people killed in the foreign country that Superman was framed for killing were killed by... guns? Is that right? If so, why is Superman even a suspect? He doesn't use them and he doesn't even NEED them. You think Batman using guns isn't credible? Superman using them just plain doesn't make sense.
The extended edition shows that there were burned bodies (which automatically makes Superman a suspect) but nobody checked to see if the corpses also had bullets in them? Plothole.
Speaking of deplorable Batman behavior, the mark he gives to criminals to give them a death sentence tells me Snyder doesn't get Batman at all. Seriously. That idea is a Punisher level of suck. The fact that Bruce does this shows that he is every bit the monster he claims Superman is.
"You aren't brave. Men are brave." What does that even mean?
How is the adaptation of the Wayne murders? Average, but I like that they took the tack that the pearl necklace got tangled in the gun, and it was the gun firing that broke the necklace. That was an interesting visual.
I think my biggest problem with the movie is that it had so much going on it was hard to follow. What was Lex's specific role in everything? I couldn't always tell what was a dream sequence and what wasn't. I couldn't follow a great deal of the last act. And how did Superman know Batman was Bruce Wayne? How did Lex? And how will Lex knowing Superman is Clark affect future movies since they didn't kill Lex off? How will Lex knowing Bruce is Batman work too? How will they navigate those bombshells?
Gal Gadot was perfect as Wonder Woman. Love that they let her keep her accent. Her on-screen reveal was pure dynamite, and her orchestral theme is outright magnificent. I can already tell the Wonder Woman movie is going to have an amazing score. Wonder Woman was the one flawless part of the movie. Her action scenes were absolutely amazing. She actually smiles at one point in the climax. She loves it and I love her for it.
Jesse Eisenberg was a mixed bag as Luthor. He was funny and quirky, and I liked him personally. But he kept spouting a bunch of nonsense that sounded deep, but just does not hold up to closer inspection. Example: he says the greatest lie in America is power can be innocent. I have NEVER heard anyone say that, ever. The entire cautionary point of power allegories is that it corrupts absolutely. I have never heard someone EVER declare power was innocent. Even bad guys who have power don't think that. Can you imagine Hitler uttering that? No. Luthor seems kind of crazy to me and when he tells Lois that "psychotic is a 3 syllable word for being unwilling to open your mind," I was thinking, "Lois was right the first time." He's nucking futs.
Him pushing Lois off the building was truly appalling. I kind of think we've been conditioned to accept that crap in superhero movies, but it is literally the most abusive thing a man could do to a woman in that situation, and he isn't actually punished for it. Action movies have normalized male on female violence, and that's partly why they suck. Because Superman immediately saves her, we aren't as p*ssed off at Lex as we should be. And that bothers me. A lot.
He also allows Mercy Graves to get blown up. Ugh.
And what was up with the Jolly Ranchers? Weirdest and randomest product placement EVER! And he licks his fingers after putting them in that guy's mouth! Gross! The guy's reaction being distaste to all of his insane requests probably should have been a red flag for him not to actually grant them. I still don't get why he did. It's not like he doesn't get blown up with everybody else for his troubles.
I liked Lex's moment of saying he'd VERY much like to be in command of the Kryptonian ship. Eisenberg played it completely sincere, which made it endearing.
"Do not pick a fight with this gentleman." Total trailer bait. And it works.
I also love "The red capes are coming! The red capes are coming!" Because Lex seems a bit unsure when he says it to Finch, which is why he says it quietly. I think he's afraid it may reveal a bit too much about his mindset to her. His idea of Devil's coming from the sky was similarly profound as was "If man cannot kill God then the Devil will do it."
I like that he says his father was an East German kid who was forced to wave flowers at tyrants. That's interesting to me, because on almost every level, I hate the Good German during WWII. I hate that evil festers when good men do nothing. But Lex is kind of right. Did they even have a choice to wave those flags? I never thought of it like that and it kind of disturbs me that I now do. Also the German thing seems to be a subconscious hint that his father was abusive before Lex confirms that at the end.
Lex's Southern drawl line about depending on the kindness of monsters is interesting because Lex is a total monster. I also loved him telling Bruce that his R and D department was up to all kinds of no-good. Because it's true and he's not trying to pretend differently.
I loved that the people at the party look at him as if he were nuts before they clapped at his speech. Because he is. When he says "paradoxical" you want to throw a net over him. Instead, the white people politely clap. Donald Trump rallies are the same way.
Lex seems to always be trying to unnerve his enemies by being off-putting, whether it is slamming a superball on a table, or rhythmically drumming his fingers.
The moment where he tried to comfort Superman over his mother being kidnapped was interesting. He reaches for his head to pat it, but cannot quite allow himself to touch an alien. It, like everything about Lex, was off-putting.
I really like that they introduced Lex in the movie by him sinking a basket. Because chill is the last thing I think of Lex as, and it was a perfect example of him making a favorable impression and always getting in a win. It's sort of told us what to expect with this Lex on a subconscious level.
Alfred declaring that the person Bruce is chasing might be a Phantasm wrote a check this movie's butt couldn't cash. I didn't actually expect to see Andrea Beaumont in the movie. But that dumb line made it so that I wanted to.
Speaking of The Russian, I think the sleek, cold-blooded Anatoli here is the exact same comic book character as Oliver Queen's rumpled, lovable, middle-aged, curmudgeonly, Bratva friend on Arrow. Knowing little about the comics, I have to wonder which version is more true to that character.
With the montage of all of the real life pundits like Charlie Rose, Andrew Sullivan and Neil deGrasse Tyson arguing over the ethics of political power and whether or not the world truly needs a Superman the first thing that came to my mind was "This movie needs a talking gorilla. Badly."
That segment outright sucked. It was badly written, badly directed, and made the movie seem worse than it was. I was actually embarrassed on behalf of Rose, Sullivan, and deGrasse Tyson. I cannot imagine a normal person being asked to read line in a straight voice that make it sound like Superman isn't the goofiest thing ever. It ain't as deep as the fans think. Now where are my talking gorillas?
Another horrible line was "With balls like those, you belong in here." I am embarrassed that such a gifted actor as Harry Lennix was forced to deliver it. Not cool, universe.
"Nobody cares about Clark Kent taking on the Batman." Considering some of the reviews and fan reactions Perry sound downright prophetic here.
Laurence Fishburne was great as Perry. He had a bigger role in this movie, or at least more good scenes. When he's telling Clark it's no longer 1938 and apples no longer cost a nickel, I was like "I almost believe he lived that." The 1938 line about Clark only being relevant in that specific year is great too. And I love that Perry never seems to know where Clark goes or why he is never there.
June Finch: The Democratic Junior Senator from Kentucky. Yeah, right. Somehow in a movie about an alien demigod in colorful Underoos, a guy who dresses up like a Bat and rides around in an armored dune buggy, and an Immortal Amazon warrior, that is easily the least credible thing in it.
I like that June seems to know that she is going to die upon seeing the jar of p*ss (and Luthor being absent) and I liked that the people in the cafe of Smallville were probably upset about the explosion for an entirely different reason than the rest of the world. More on that later.
I love Bruce calling Clark "Son" and saying that Superman is a freak in a clown suit. Because, they can spruce that costume up with dark tones and lavish fabric all they want. It is STILL incredibly garish. A clown suit is a proper comparison.
I will never get used to or like Bruce waking up next to random nameless women. Does Batman REALLY need to be a cad to put up the facade of being a playboy? I get that Batman's a user of people but I don't like the idea of him using women that way. Speaking of Bruce being appalling, I nearly died of embarrassment on his behalf after he lamely tells Mercy he likes her shoes. Seriously? THAT'S the best line he could come up with in that moment?
Is Batman a pill-popper? The first thing he does when he wakes up is take a prescription pill and down it with booze. It is quite possible this Batman is an addict. He's already a murderer. It wouldn't be his only vice.
Major Ferris? Actually, the credits let us know it was spelled Major Farris but it would have been a cool Green Lantern Easter Egg if it had actually been Carol.
Is the Robin suit spray painted with Joker graffiti Jason Todd's? And if it was, why does Batman not only keep it, but give it such a prominent display in his trophy room? That's one Easter Egg that wasn't well thought out.
Martha telling Clark he didn't owe the world anything and never did reminds me very clearly why I dislike this version of the Kents so much. What is especially perplexing is that right before she tells him that she tells him to be what the world wants him to be. Make up your mind, Ma.
Speaking of Martha, when Batman says "I'm a friend of your son's," I was like "Oh, really? You're friends now? Does Clark know this?"
I also hated her line about guessing he was a friend because of the cape. Because the movie sort of stops for a few seconds after she says it. Obviously, the writers did that to allow the audience time to chuckle at the laughline. But those kinds of pauses are really noticeable when the laughline isn't actually funny.
I don't get the vision of Jonathan. The story he tells Clark is way too specific a story to be told by a dream or a hallucination. It's nitty gritty farmer details and specific moments from his life Clark would have no reference for. And if he has no reference for them, that makes them untrue. Which suddenly makes the scene pointless. And it also makes it like every other Kevin Costner movie.
Do you know what moment got me? Bruce seeing "You let your family die" in red letters on the newspaper clipping. That had to sting for more than one reason. It was good it is revealed Lex was behind the newspaper mindscrew with Bruce. I kind of thought those words were a little TOO on the nose to be penned by a mere former Wayne employee. That was a genius level of manipulation that makes more sense if it is actually intentional.
I cannot stand Ezra's Miller Flash already and we've just seen him in a dream sequence and security cam footage. He's about as ugly of an actor as Adam Driver, he wears his hair dirty and long, and has a teenage, d0uchbag goatee. TV's The Flash shows I am very open to different interpretations of Barry Allen. But "D-bag Barry" is taking it too far. I have similar dark feelings about Jason Mamoa as Aquaman, but at least there I see they are TRYING to go for something different. I think Miller is simply miscast.
Lex having Polaroids of Mrs. Kent in bondage and frightened out of her wits is really no better than the Joker doing the same thing to Barbara Gordon in The Killing Joke. Lex is a sicko.
I love that guy referring to Zod as the "Kryptonian decedent". What a clinical way to not have to point out what a monster Zod was.
Cute moment with the sword of Alexander and Bruce and Diana. But when that museum curator tells Diana to "enjoy" looking at the sword I was like "How can somebody possibly enjoy looking at an old sword?" I get that museums are necessary and people go there to find out about art and history. But I have never actually ENJOYED anything in a museum and think the idea that somebody should is goofy.
I like the idea that the first generation of Waynes were hunters. Means less to the canon than the movie thinks it does, but it's a cool detail.
Ev'ry time I hear "Ev'ry Time I Say Goodbye" I think of Sideshow Bob. And yes, I'm one of THOSE Simpsons fans. Who thinks his first appearance was the best.
Love seeing Chris Pine in the Wonder Woman photo. What an awful haircut.
Batman calling Superman an "it" shows that he is detestable.
But I have to say, just based on the opening, I was immediately Team Batman for much of the movie. The fact that Superman didn't care about all of the carnage in the last movie IS appalling, and Bruce is right to be angry. I'm glad they moved the climax of THIS movie to an abandoned island.
The problem with Batman is that I think Luthor punked him too completely. I mean, Luthor was nothing but sloppy with his framejob, and yet he fools the World's Greatest Detective 100%. It's actually Lois who does the legwork of solving the mystery. I understand that Lois is an excellent reporter. But again, I think the idea that the World's Greatest Detective didn't see a giant con job all along is a big mark against Bruce's intelligence.
Bruce telling Diana he's known a few women like her before is another thing that shows that Bruce is an exceptionally bad judge of character. This Batman's defining characteristic to me seems to be that he is always wrong.
I also really hate the "Do you bleed?" line upon hearing it again. Because Affleck leers when he says it. He asks that particular question in the same tone of voice as a pervert would ask a 12 year old girl about her first period. And it's exactly because of the tone of voice that makes that particular line as creepy as it is. I want to take a shower now.
One of the reasons the fight is so ill-advised is because Batman and Superman are each weakening and injuring each other right when they need to fight Doomsday. I'm convinced if Superman was at full strength he wouldn't have died. Also, Bruce pretty much uses almost his entire stockpile of Kryptonite. Nice going there, numbnuts.
Do you know what moment during the fight was dumb? When Superman gets his second-wind, Batman raises his hands slightly as if to non-verbally say "Let's talk about this. We can be reasonable." I hate that moment not only because Bruce did nothing up to that point to EARN Superman's reason, but because he goes right back to trying to kill him once he regains the upper hand. Batman seemed entirely too cowardly and conniving in that moment.
Doomsday is a total rip-off of the Uruk-Hai from Lord of the Rings. Even the slimepit birth is identical.
Lex's first reaction to seeing Doomsday is interesting: he's calm and serene. I gotta say, even if I knew it wasn't going to hurt me, that is STILL the last emotion I would have been feeling right then. Lex is nuts.
You can tell how much Batman frightened Lex in prison with the mark by the way his voice cracked on the word "dead". I think the snot on Lex's face was disgusting and pretty much the most unnecessary character quirk ever. I know Lex is a lunatic. I don't need to lose my lunch with that visual telling me what I already know.
Batman's cowl is apparently bulletproof. He gets shot twice point blank in the head in the climax and his reaction is "Ow!"
Whenever I hear someone say "Fire at will!" in a movie I always hear Don Karnage saying "Do not fire at Will! He is my second-mate! Fire at the Seaduck!"
I would not have minded the death of Superman so much if it hadn't slowed down the last twenty minutes of the movie. It made the movie seem like a bigger bummer than it was. The movie was a LOT more fun than I expected, and Superman ain't gonna actually stay dead, so I was kind of miffed they made the ending sad for no real reason. Because of it the movie was WAY too long too.
There's something good about Clark's funeral. They returned to the idea that Superman's identity is an open secret in Smallville, and everyone there keeps their mouths shut to protect Clark. Frankly, that idea is the best thing in the Snyderverse.
I liked this more than I expected. DEFINITELY better than Man Of Steel. And by a lot. ****.
Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice: Ultimate Edition
I like the theatrical version very much, but in the back of my head I kind of thought that the movie felt a bit long and bloated. I don't even feel that about the extended cut. It IS long and bloated. Unlike the PG-13 cut, it is not a matter up for debate.
I'll say one positive thing about that. If you have a crippling phobia of your own mortality, watch this version of the movie. Because it feels like your life will never end. Pretty much the first words out of my mouth after the end credits were "That was an ordeal."
The extended versions of The Lord Of The Rings seemed to have been created because Peter Jackson had a mess of great scenes he couldn't justify putting in a movie with "only" a three hour runtime. That isn't Zack Snyder's mindset. These are all scenes not good enough to be in the final film, and Snyder put them back in and made the movie worse. The Extended Rings films enhance that experience. This diminishes it. Totally.
I'm a little appalled they actually went and made the onscreen title at the beginning "Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice Ultimate Edition". Because what sounds like gimmicky marketing for the DVD's looks completely cheesy in the actual film itself. I tolerate dumbness when I'm being sold superheroes. I'm less okay with it when I'm watching them.
The only people who are afraid of Batman are people who have REASON to be afraid of Batman. Great line. I don't buy it. The extended cut explored the brand further, and it is exactly as horrific as we were led to believe, and we even got a face put to one of the victims of it. You may think Superman is overreacting when he rips the roof off the Batmobile, tells Batman the Bat is dead, and to never answer the Batsignal again, but if you see this cut of the movie, you'll completely understand why he actually did that. Bruce is a scumbag.
Perry calls Clark a nerd in the R-rated cut. I gotta say, that makes about as much sense as pretending Rachel Leigh Cook is ugly in She's All That. I don't care if he's wearing glasses. He's sculpted like a Roman God with a face out of a J Crew catalog. There are many negative ways to describe this version of Clark, but a nerd he is not. This version of the character doesn't even try to pass for one, so I don't know why Perry says something that stupid in the first place.
Jena Malone from The Hunger Games and Jon Stewart are in the extended cut. It is surprising how unfunny Jon Stewart is here, and I realize that guy owes a LOT to talented writers of which this movie is somewhat lacking. I like Malone's line about Lois being a good reporter because stuff like this still shocks her though.
The fantasy / dream / future sequence is extended here and things seem a wee bit more Apokoliptic (misspelling intended) if you get my drift. This hints to me that if Superman IS gonna be a bad guy in a future movie, he's going to do so under Darkseid's control. We'll see.
Luthor is sent to Arkham in the R rated version, and it is made more explicit he knows Batman is Bruce. Why did they send him to Arkham in the extended cut? That's just going to contradict however he returns in either Justice League or the Superman sequel. It seemed a REALLY weird thing to include an alternate take on, especially since it probably will not even be true once the sequels are released.
It is revealed in the extended cut that the photographer / C.I.A. agent killed at the beginning is Jimmy Olsen. Jimmy Olsen getting a bullet in the head in the first 20 minutes sort of told us what kind of movie this was gonna be. And it wasn't a hint that it was gonna be awesome.
The movie DID have an explanation as to why Clark didn't spot the bomb: it was encased in lead. Makes sense.
The extended cut is a big bucket of suck. I do not fully agree with all of the slams on the movie. But every single complaint I've heard leveled at the movie (too dark, boring, long) is 100% true in the extended cut. **.
Uniting The World's Finest:
About the start of the DC Cinematic Universe. We got to see clips from the Wonder Woman movie. I still think Jason Mamoa is incredibly miscast as Aquaman though and I hate Ezra Miller. ***1/2.
Gods And Men: A Meeting Of Giants:
Putting Batman and Superman in a movie together in 2016 is not cool and admirable. It's like Disney bragging about creating a black human character for Atlantis: The Lost Empire in the year 2000. It's far too late to brag about it. It should have happened decades ago. What took them so long? I especially resent the idea of this being portrayed as historic because frankly, the movie could have been better. I liked it more than most people, but if this were truly cinema history it would be great instead of good. The producers noted that Affleck's Batman is "angrier" than the previous live-action movie versions. Do you know what? Even if that's true, I never noticed it. Because that should be NORMAL for Batman. Ben Affleck doing something that all of the other actors should have been doing all along is again, not a brag. Although it does make me realize once again how wholly inadequate Christian Bale and Michael Keaton were. Geoff Johns is right about how cool the Martha connection in the movie is. A couple of people noted that Batman pursues justice at any cost. That is simply not true. Anyone who has a "no kill code" by definition is not someone who pursues justice at any cost. While it is true Batman's moral line is MUCH farther back than Superman's, it still exists 100%. Him not going over the edge and walking the line between justice and vengeance is one of the most interesting parts of the character. How does Zack Snyder not know that? ***.
The Warrior, The Myth, The Wonder:
Cool that William Moulton Marsten was so sympathetic to the suffragist movement. Not very many progressive comic book creators back then. This showed clips from the Bruce Timm Wonder Woman movie and the old TV series. There was an interesting observation for why the Linda Carter version worked. She didn't play it sexy and wasn't self-conscious at all. Despite the fact that she was in a ridiculously skimpy bathing suit she never acted like she was dressed out of the ordinary. Just the fact that the character seems unaware of how hot she is makes her instantly cool and relatable. ***1/2.
Accelerating Design: The New Batmobile:
I hate this Batmobile. The movie producers ARE aware the Batmobile is a car, right? And not a tank? Or in this case a dune buggy? And what is the Batmobile doing with machine guns? It's like Zack Snyder doesn't know Bruce Wayne at all. *.
Superman: Complexity And Truth:
Am I crazy in thinking Henry Cavill looks less cut in this picture than he did in the first one? He muscles seemed MUCH smaller in his topless scene. I'll tell you something I hate about this movie. Zack Snyder had literary references stitched into Superman's suit in Kryptonian symbols. But they were so small nobody could see them, much less read them. And yet, that was a note in the script. Do you know what detail he probably should have studied more? That you don't put freaking machine guns on the Batmobile. ***.
Batman: Austerity And Rage:
I like the Batsuit very much. As Geoff Johns notes, it's cool because it brings back the grey. Frankly, I wouldn't have turned up my nose at any blue or yellow either, but maybe that's just me. ***.
Wonder Woman: Grace And Power:
Diana's costume is my favorite in the movie. Query: This points out that like the Batsuit, Diana's costume is old and well-worn. Does that mean both costumes smell bad? I mean it's bad enough it looks like Bruce had had the same Batsuit for two decades, but it's possible Diana has had hers for centuries. How do they clean them? Are the suits machine washable? Or do they have to employ EXTREMELY discreet dry cleaners? Or do they simply live with the jank? Inquiring minds want to know. ****.
Batcave: The Legacy Of The Lair:
I love the Batcave too. I love that the entrance opens up underwater. I think bad guys would have a VERY tough time finding that. ****.
The Might And The Power Of A Punch:
Yeah, I don't need to know the science behind this. Let's just watch them hit stuff. Wait, Batman is 3 inches taller than Superman? That seem weird to anyone else? And AGAIN with the machine guns! Aurgh! ***1/2.
The Empire Of Luthor:
Several people in this claim Luthor is smarter than Batman. Is that true? Because if I was in charge of writing DC Comics, it wouldn't be. Just considering his poor impulse control and terrible decision making tendencies, if you are saying this nut is smarter than Batman, then Batman is probably not as smart as advertised. Am I the only who realizes that? I like that this version of Luthor is friendly and gregarious. A person with such a tall stature in high society should be better at playing politics than Luthor usually is portrayed as. And again, the fact that he usually has poor social skills when trying to needle people to do things his way makes me believe that if he ISN'T dumber than Batman, he at least SHOULD be. By the way? You think Luthor has a bad haircut? Check Jesse Eisenberg out of make-up. Yikes. ****.
Save The Bats:
Brutal honesty time: Grossest. P.S.A.. EVER. *.
Suicide Squad Trailer: Not as good as the Bohemian Rhapsody trailer. ****.
Batman: The Killing Joker Trailer: Cool trailer although they should have hyped the pedigree of Bruce Timm, Kevin Conroy, and Mark Hamill. ****1/2.
Blu-Ray Menu: Very nice. ****.