Also a review for the latest episode of Teen Titans Go!.
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Teen Titans Go! "TV Knight"
I love that Batman and Commissioner Gordon never speak on this show. It's cool he knows Batman's real identity. I also squealed upon seeing "Andrea B" listed in Batman's phone.
Sticky Joe lives at the tower? News to me.
You can tell they didn't spend money to get Kevin Michael Richardson to play Trigon. Heck, I'm not even sure they got Scott Menville to voice Robin.
Cyborg's haircut thing was so funny because the notion is patently ridiculous. When I saw hair falling on the floor in the barber shop I realized yet again there is not a single thing about this show that should be taken seriously.
I liked it. ****.
Teen Titans Go! Eat, Dance, Punch!
The first half of the third season of the Teen Titans reboot is mostly so-so. Except for the two parter where "Weird Al" Yankovic plays Darkseid in the second part (Two Parter: Part One / Two Parter Part Two). That is some quality comedy right there and Yankovic is LITERALLY the best Darkseid we've ever gotten. I also really like the adult themed "Pyramid Scheme". "The Fourth Wall" also accurately points out the series' many, many faults. "A Farce" also proved once and for all what I've been saying for years: The Titans are the bad guys on the series.
Now for the bad. "Leg Day", like all Lady Legasus episodes is one of the worst of the series, and "Hey You, Don't Forget Me In Your Memory" shows once again why this is probably the worst and most uncool interpretation of Robin that ever existed.
But the entire set didn't suck. Just about half of it. Set Overall: **1/2.
Cat's Fancy:
This is one of the weirdest (and most disturbing) premises ever. The Garfield parody was spot-on especially the inconsistent and ill-defined Sunday Newspaper coloring they did. The references to Jon Arbuckle being a dateless loser and Odie get kicked off the table were great too. I love that Starfire has a poster of Catwoman on the wall of her sad apartment. I like that the instant she sees Robin as a cat, she tosses the kitten she's holding into the other room. It might have been funnier if it was out the window. Robin is already almost a cat. He already has the fish-breath down cold. Starfire claims Robin is ten times cuter now, while Cyborg says it's seven at best. I'm thinking Cyborg's math is the one that checks out here. Love the animation on the kittens pouring out of the box and I laughed that the kittens' "Dear John" letter was written on a can and got stuck in Starfire's hair. Bombs don't have off switches? That's just unsafe. Beast Boy makes a very cute pug and sells the case for dogs very well. I think the thing that is really bothering the other Titans isn't that Robin's plan is insane. That's Thursday night in Titans Tower. It's that it works. And the fact that it works is not just a slam on Robin. But I kind of think Robin has zero dignity for actually enjoying the demeaning way Starfire treats him. It's a bit disgusting. By the way, there was a third solution besides kicking Robin as a cat out of the Tower, or Starfire and Robin moving to their own cat place: Raven could have owned up that she was lying about her allergies and tried a different plan. The fact that things went as far as they did showed that all five Titans were equally complicit in Starfire becoming a crazy cat lady. It wasn't just Robin, or even Starfire. It was all of them. Insane episode. ****.
Leg Day:
I have a longstanding rule that any Teen Titans Go! episode that does NOT take advantage of the comic book premise at all, and where the exact same plot could be used on Regular Show or Gumball episode, automatically gets a zero for a grade. I've broken this rule a couple of times. I'll cop to that. But from this point forward the "Automatic Zero" rule also applies to Lady Legasus episodes. They are just the worst, and there is nothing they can do to make the premise funny. This is one rule I will have no problem keeping. Seriously. Raven cannot be more than fourteen years old in this incarnation, and the writers hyper-sexualizing and exploiting her is not only creepy, it's outright disturbing. I think the writers need an intervention about this. Before they wind up on the sex offender registry in their real lives. 0.
The Dignity Of Teeth:
As hilarious as this was, I kind of don't approve. At all. I would not mind seeing this done on Family Guy or a cartoon for adults. But there used to be a very strict rule for kids cartoons that you shouldn't ever show anything the kids in the audience can imitate. And I think that rule was a good one. And the Titans punching out their permanent teeth does NOT seem to me to be a moral where we should be testing whether the children are watching are sensible or not. They're teeth. Everyone only gets two sets. You ruin the second one and the rest of your life is miserable. I'm not worried about most of the kids who think the idea is ludicrous and funny. I'm worried about the two Beavises and Buttheads out there who think it would be a cool thing to try. But did you know the Tooth Fairy has paper money now? Way better than a couple of dirty nickels. I have to say, out of all of the kiddie nocturnal visitors, the tooth fairy made the least amount of sense to me as a kid. There is a rationality behind Santa and the Sandman that does not exist with the tooth fairy. The Easter Bunny is similarly insane, but at least that premise is fun enough that kids are willing to shut their brains off. There is nothing about the tooth fairy concept that ISN'T creepy if you ask what the Fairy could possibly want with the teeth. Because there is no explanation that isn't creepy. Eating them is a good guess from this show, but again, that's super disturbing. I can't think of anything a possible fairy could possibly do with them that isn't nefarious. And I've always thought this as a kid. The tooth fairy was no less scary to me than clowns were. Why does Cyborg have a hairbrush anyways? And why do I laugh so hard watching him comb his bald pate? Best line goes to Robin: "We're not creeeeeps!" He'll trade you some hair and a jar of toenails. I like that Beast Boy paces on his hands and feet three times before going to sleep in his box of rags. What is Cyborg doing with those permanent teeth in his mouth when he could be gettin' paid? I like that the episode starts off with Robin being the sensible one dealing with good oral hygiene, and Raven quickly takes charges when things go disturbingly South. I love that when Robin smashes Beast Boy in the face with his staff, he actually knocks out the correct tooth. For some reason that's funnier. As a Family Guy episode this would have been a classic. As a kids show? I'm actually a bit worried. ****.
Croissant:
Not only did I bust a gut with the idea that Beast Boy's metamorphosis involved him getting frosted tips on his hair, but that the Titans were just as revolted as if he HAD become a giant bug creature. I liked Raven's hopeful fantasy though because it gives us a bit of an insight to Raven. Killer Moth was the perfect villain. Not only could he properly deconstruct the moral of The Ugly Duckling but he comments the Titans only act that way because they're hot which hints he's bisexual. "Robin's got it going on" confirms that idea. Which is cool. I love the Ugly Ducking getting a swirlie. I like that the Titans are so stupid that they took the moral to be that ugly people should only live with ugly people, and thrust off the bug monster with poor Killer Moth. What is very ironic about Teen Titans Go! is that in almost every episode that features a "villain", the Titans act worse and more dastardly than the actual bad guy. I like to think that they are the actual supervillain team of Jump City. What I loved about Killer Moth's plan is just based on his reasoning, mutating everyone in the world would make the world a better place. It eliminates unrealistic beauty standards. It's similar to Syndrome's plan to give everyone superpowers in The Incredibles, but at least this show is smart enough to say that Moth isn't actually a bad guy for thinking this. Seriously. Brad Bird needs his head examined. It is super ironic to me that the Titans are being judgmental to Moth for judging people by their looks after he points out the obvious: looks are how we can actually identify one another. There is no value judgment in that, but the Titans are so invested in their b.s. narrative they are offended at Moth saying something that isn't actually offensive. Those kids need their heads examined too. Why do the geese in the Ugly Duckling flashback have nipples? Robin's date with his pants was one of those jokes that was so weird it was funny. Which describes this episode in general. ***1/2.
Spice Game:
Starfire's "Let us put the delicious morsels into our internal food sacks!" tells me she's probably the worst dinner guest ever. I liked the reaction shots from Raven and Starfire from the Tears of Zephos. Great drawings there and Raven's head spinning around like the Exorcist (and puking fire) was a great visual. Robin isn't usually right about anything, so it was interesting this episode gave him the victory. But the dude is a serious lightweight. A granule of salt has him panting and reaching for milk. He was never going to win the Spice Game. I like that he brags that his boiled potatoes are just the correct amount of mushy. The rest of the Titans are correct to hate him. I like the Hot Pepper Song. I think Starfire's awkward "That sounds reasonable," was said because the writers couldn't think of a joke to end the episode. That happens on this series far too often. I would almost grade it as a Regular Show episode were is not for the cameo for Batgirl. That means I can admit I liked it. ****.
I'm The Sauce:
That's how a noodle do! Three way tie for best Starfire moment: "Ooo, the snaps!" "You have the BROWN Milk?!" "Friends, I am locked in the cringe position." This isn't technically a Regular Show episode because of all of the DC villain cameos. I laughed that when Robin says he's going to pick out seven players, he sticks out seven fingers on one hand. I've never even heard of Heads Up, Seven Up before. It sounds really fun. I love that Trigon, Plasmus, and Cinderblock all play too. I love that Beast Boy cannot guess his own name in Hangman, even though the only letter missing from it is "B". I'm also pretty sure the Hangman is Slade in that picture. I liked Cyborg being the meatball, but I LOVED the fact that his head was the bulb in the idea lightbulb. I also really love the visual whenever they do a close-up of a Titan's face with an extreme expression, where their face fills up the entire screen and the only thing you can see is the expression. It's a really cool visual that reminds me of Face from the old Nick Junior bumpers. I'm a little amazed Face never became more popular and well-known than he did. It's a really amazing and colorful image that I imagine preschoolers would love. I have no idea why he isn't still the Nick Junior mascot. I love that when a grenade is about to hit, Beast Boy turns into a turtle and goes into his shell. It's precisely animal things like that that make Beast Boy endearing. I also love that he is sincerely concerned about Hop on Pop. This was decent but not great. **1/2.
Hey You, Don't Forget Me In Your Memory:
A Breakfast Club parody? Do kids even know what The Breakfast Club is? And this series needs an intervention about Robin. DC Comics has spent the intervening decades since Burt Ward turned the character of Robin into a punchline building up Dick Grayson into a cool and awesome character. And all this show does is tell little kids how much he sucks. I think that is really bad for the long-term health of the Batman franchise if this is the first exposure to Robin most kids will get. It is true the animation and film departments of Marvel and DC are where the real money for superheroes are today, and the comics are fading. But DC shouldn't be HELPING the comics fade. Also I think the episode having Robin crane-kick two girls in the face without proper punishment shows that this show thinks violence against women is funny. It's not and the show sucks. Birds poop on the Superman statue. They obviously have the common fan reaction to Batman v Superman. Cyborg states that the kids have no parents. Is Silas Stone not a thing in this continuity? Does Trigon not count for anything? Beast Boy picking his ear wax was disgusting. The Labor Day cheer reminded me that the Titans celebrate anything at the drop of a hat. The few things I liked were the light shade of pink / purple Raven's cape was in the fantasy summer camp flashback. And Beast Boy saying he wasn't a nerd but a bohemian. I also was amused by Beast Boy observing that Robin was owning the underwear thing. Otherwise this is one of the worst episodes on the set. 0.
Accept The Next Proposition You Hear:
I love the message that mind control is unnecessary in a society that longs to be told what to do. This is exactly why Fox News was created in the first place. I also love how understanding and accommodating the Titans were to Brother Blood's stomach problems at the beginning. The Titans are usually complete buttholes to their villains, but I like that food poisoning engendered their sympathy for once. I loved Raven practically screaming at Robin "What are you waiting for? He said his tum-tum hurts!" I like that when Robin wakes up from passing out he says Batman's name. Starfire's facial expressions during her disturbing forced laughter were quite excellent and creepy. Not on the level of Chuck Jones' Grinch when he comes up with an awful idea, or Bill Watterson's Calvin when he does the same, but up there. Also, the action scene at the beginning was awesome. People bemoan this show's cheapo Flash look, but it's not like they need to actually spend money to make animation that looks good nowadays. This was as good an action sequence as the anime version ever gave us. Plot hole: Beast Boy didn't actually punch Brother Blood in the face as ordered. He head-butted him in the rump. Fortune cookies are filled with garbage. And Cyborg eats the garbage. His palms are disgusting too. I like that Raven thinks following Robin into a restaurant and ordering the exact same thing he does constitutes a decision. I love the Old Shablammo from Cyborg. I like that Harley Quinn is on the cover of Clowns And Pizza Monthly magazine. I especially like that because that joke makes no sense. I like this episode too, sense or not. ***1/2.
The Fourth Wall:
I love everything about this episode. Let us itemize the awesomeness. This episode seems to be the show's mea culpa of how badly it has been received by both fans of the original series and of the comics. It IS lowbrow and owns it. You cannot argue that it isn't funny, just based upon a toilet flush being heard upon Cyborg's eyebrows slowly lowering. But yeah, it's pretty bad. I love the idea that the new incarnation was a punishment for the cast of the original series. Although the Titans bemoaning the "cliffhanger" ending to "Things Change" are missing the forest for the trees. That wasn't a cliffhanger ending to the series, it was an ambiguous ending to a single episode. Plus everything got wrapped up in Trouble In Tokyo anyways. When Cyborg states "Those look like us, only better" he pretty much summed everything up in five words. I love that they used the clip of Raven in the white cape hugging Robin at the end of "The End". That was one of the best and most moving moments on the entire original series, and one of the most explicit ways the old show was far superior to the new one. They knew exactly what buttons they were pushing there by using that particular clip. When all of the Titans fart at the screen at the end I laughed to realize it is Raven's butt that is the one that dances in the center. The mea culpa even extended to the fact that the Flash animation is usually a step down for DC Animation. Starfire points out that the show has a MUCH smaller budget than other DC cartoons and seems to create a MUCH larger run of episodes than any other recent DC cartoon, but Robin screams that there are no excuses. And I love that. I think it's cute that Beast Boy can't spell along to the Titans theme. I loved the Titans shaming the audience at the beginning. I also love that when Robin thoughtlessly asks whether Cyborg lost his heart when they gave him he robot parts, Cyborg says with the maximum amount of pathos "Yes!". Which is another one of the reasons I don't like thinking too hard about Cyborg. Loved Robin making fun of Raven's voice. Here's something fun: In the scene where Robin is bemoaning the poor animation, the animation lip synch doesn't quite line up with his words. Was that deliberate, or a happy accident? I am a little alarmed that everyone thought the animation improved when it turned into Adventure Time. Because the regular animation actually looks MUCH better. Adventure Time's animation looks MUCH cheaper and less professional than this show. I also have to say Alex Polinsky is the best villain voice on the entire series. He ALWAYS turns in a great performance, and with Ron Perlman absent, Control Freak is now the best villain (John DiMaggio's Brother Blood is second for the same reason). According to the on-screen subtitle, a tear actually equals acting. The messed up thing is that even if it's untrue, most people still actually think that. The Oscars always going to downer movies is proof of that. The end was cool because there wasn't a good resolution out of that. So they broke the fourth wall instead. Literally. And it worked. Everything is back to normal in the next episode. This episode is so effective because it seems to address most of the series fan complaints about the reboot (with the notable exception that Robin is now a loser). I like that like Batman: The Brave And The Bold before it, this show knows where its flaws lie. *****.
40%, 40%, 20%:
Great animation. Cyborg seriously needs some variety in his playlist, bro. I love that Cyborg turned into Optimus Prime (Cyborgimus Prime) at the end (along with some of his lame catchphrases.) I laughed at him telling Raven she could be Bumblebee. Her reaction was NOT happy. But not all of the jokes were unlicensed. They actually cleared the rights for "The Night Begins To Shine" which is quite unusual for a WBA show. Usually we get cheap soundalikes to everything, or at best, stuff already in the WB library. Bad things? I almost lost my lunch at the bird puking in his nest and then smearing it around like paste. Gross. The Heavy Metal animation was quite good and authentic. It's amazing what animation can now do with a shoestring budget. ***.
Grube's Fairytales:
All fairytales should begin with "Once Upon A Particular Time Interval..." Morals I learned: 1. Don't make your house out of foods. That's dumb. 2. Forget boys. Get paid. 3. If you consume the wolf, you must assume his identity and raise his family as your own. I see the writer of the episode (Ben Gruber) found a way to put his last name in the episode title. Sneaky. I love the houses made of mozzarella sticks and meat and potatoes. I laughed at Rapunzel's fingernails being the freakishly long thing, and that Raven turns into Wolverine at the end and winds up working for Darkseid. I also love Red Riding Hood eating the wolf and putting on his clothes as a disguise for the children. I loved the wolf accents too. Hat cha cha! I laughed at everyone confusing Robin's pantaloons for a man-diaper. The armpit hair thing was so disgusting. I loved that Starfire calls her eyelash kisses butterfly kisses. That is so cute. This was a ridiculous but enjoyable episode. ***1/2.
A Farce:
This episode takes the idea of the Titans as the real villains of Jump City and really runs with it. I love Raven telling Starfire to just be honest on the stand, and when she implicates the Titans, Raven says, "Too honest!" I also loved Brother Blood objecting to Robin's questioning of Starfire, Brain asking on what grounds, and Blood saying "Because this is just getting embarrassing for everyone." And even Brain says: "Sustained. Yikes." The My Cousin Vinny ending was pretty funny too. Raven does a great New Yawk accent. The Brain would like to see where this is going. I love that the first thing the Titans did in the episode is destroy the Superman statue. Brother Blood had some sweet moves dodging the debris at the beginning. Great animation. Glad Robin says he's a master orator rather than a master debater. I like Cyborg's light ball, but I gotta say, the "order in the court" joke has been used by pretty much every cartoon ever, and it NEVER gets funny even once. I have no idea why cartoons keep going back to it. It's bad enough to hear a bad joke once. But it's over and over again. Surely the writers of this episode don't think they invented it, do it? If not, why does this show, and every other previous show not realize how cliched and unfunny it is? Nobody can make "I'll have a cheeseburger and fries" funny. There is no line reading possible that could make that funny. I wouldn't even laugh at it if Samuel L Jackson said it with a mother-f-bomb in the middle. It is that stupid. I loved Raven saying she could handle the sentence of death. I'll bet. Her random "Myah!" was funny too. Hilarious episode besides the cheeseburger thing. ****1/2.
Scary Figure Dance:
Speaking of licensed music, they actually licensed to melody to Monster Mash here, if not the actual song itself. I thought all of the Titans' ghost designs were adorable and I love that Raven looks like a ghost from Pac-Man. The scary ghost designs were great too, especially Starfire's. There is nothing scarier than an awkward elevator ride. I like that the ultimate moral was that the Titans and the Hive had a great Halloween with each other. I don't even know why they are enemies. They have more in common than they don't. Bustin' makes you feel good. Lot of great lines. "Slimy, slimy, slimy, get that good slime all over yo face." "How do you feel about eye contact?" I'm a little disturbed Jinx isn't more upset about Cyborg dying. Her being possessive of lame Trick or Treat puns would have been better for me had she saved her bad joke critiques for "burger and fries" which is about a million times worse. Raven and Starfire's demonic possession of See-More and Mammoth was super awkward. With their shirts on. Fun episode. ***1/2.
Animals: It's Just A Word:
Mostly idiotic. The butt-sniffing and bird pooping scenes should give you a feel for the proceedings. Beast Boy is cute as a cat and the animation for the laser exploding the side of the tower was well-timed and animated. Starfire asking if she could eat Raven was creepy though, as was Beast Boy trying to stomp her down the toilet. Raven thinking she was a goldfish and repeatedly bumping into the window was cute and her sewer mutant design was frankly awesome (as were her sewer mutant friends). But this episode was otherwise big, dumb, loud, and unfunny. The series at it's worst. 1/2.
BBB Day!:
FAIL. First off, watching somebody else enjoy their birthday is not boring. It's fun. Making other people feel good feels good. And it really bothers me that "You shouldn't care about other people" is the moral kids will take from this. Because that IS the moral. The Titans don't actually care about Beast Boy or his birthday, they are simply putting on an act. And I hate that this show always seems to be teaching kids it's perfectly okay to grow up to become a bunch of cynical narcissistic users. The second terrible thing isn't even this episode's fault, and is only terrible because I saw this over the air, and was aware of the politics of the situation. A week before this aired, the Supreme Court ruled that individual versions of the song "Happy Birthday" were public domain, thereby making the central running gag completely untrue as it was airing. This is not as bad as the Superman Comics that were published around the time of the Kennedy assassination or 9/11 in terrible irony, simply because it's not tragic. But it just shows that the universe always wanted this episode, and this show, to completely fail. Well done, universe. However the idea of "time anchors" was something I liked. It was sort of a plausible way to attach a reasonable explanation to absolute nonsense. I also noticed statues amd busts of Batman and Etrigan at the center of the universe. That sounds about right. By the way, this episode is right about something. Nobody likes trick candles. Watching them or blowing them. They suck and are never funny. As deplorable as the Titans were to Beast Boy, I DO give each of them credit for eating that disgusting cake at the end. I would not have done that. But this did, in fact, suck. 0.
Black Friday:
My original opinion of this episode was that like the BBB Day one, the show is turning kids into a bunch of materialistic bungholes and that this is more a moral for the Reagan era than the Age of Obama. But I was overthinking it. Because unlike the birthday episode this has some legit virtues. First off, how genius was it to cast Raven as the Ghost of Black Friday Future? It is amazing to me all of the great gags and scenarios the writers have allowed Raven to be placed in simply because of the excellent design of the cloak. I also liked the can of cranberries saying "Cranberry! Yeagh!" Livewire's picture being on the electronics store was fun too. But I think the thing I loved best was seeing all of the different DC characters in the shopping scene at the end. I could be wrong, but I think this is the largest cast of guest characters the show has done that were actually animated and not simply background characters. I love that because it says in this continuity, whenever a superhero or supervillain buys a TV set on the day after Thanksgiving, they go in their full costumes. You thought it was ridiculous how on the original series none of the characters ever used their secret identities? This takes that idea and makes it as daffy as possible. And it is super silly. Starfire confusing Ebenezer Scrooge for Scrooge McDuck felt right to me too. Because Mickey's Christmas Carol is one of the defining adaptations of A Christmas Carol of my childhood, and that featured both. It was not only the first Christmas Carol I had ever seen, it was the first time I had seen Uncle Scrooge in anything. And my obsession with Disney Comics means that special holds a place in my heart greater than its actual quality might warrant. I am mildly disturbed that the knobs on Cyborg's chest seem to be placed where his nipples should be. It makes him tweaking them super creepy. The designs of the rats on this show have always been amazing. SO cute. Best line goes to Starfire (with apologies to Charles Dickens): "I shall change my ways and honor the Black Friday in my heart!" Better than I remembered. ***1/2.
Two Parter: Part One:
A lot of fun. I learned a LOT about the Justice League this episode. Batman not only writes his name ON his sandwiches, he puts an alarm in them. And he mask smells BAD. Like vinegar, sweat and cheese. And Wonder Woman is obsessed with the yogurts that make you poop. In another life Diana was played by Jamie Lee Curtis. Starfire's quick animation gimmick made her a perfect choice for the Flash and I liked Cyborg using the Green Lantern ring to create The Golden Girls (although I'd be remiss to point out there are four, not three as seen here). I also thought the "JL" symbols on the door of the Hall of Justice were really interesting. It's a shame I've never seen that in a DC project before. The design is really cool and eye-catching. I like how the episode showed that Cyborg really wants to join the league and sort of hints that he will before Robin does. That's cool. I love that there is an oven mitt in the trophy case. I want to know the story behind that. Other Easter Eggs I noticed were various colors of Kryptonite, Brainiac's head, Doomsday's head, the bottled city of Kandor, and Dr. Fate's helmet. I love that the rest of the Titans are too stupid to realize Cyborg is insulting them when he says he always dreamed of being part of a first class superhero team. I also laughed at Raven's expression after Robin was saying he was enjoying the warm water and then dipping his face in the pool. I groaned at and hated the Dem Legs joke. I think it is so cute that Beast Boy can turn into a bee and sting people. The bees on the show have even better designs than the rats. I loved this. ****1/2.
Two Parter: Part Two:
Calling it. "Weird Al" Yankovic is the best Darkseid of all time. Search your heart. You know this to be true. I was cracking up at Darkseid calling Weird Al a monster and Cyborg saying he was a national treasure. Hilarious. The lozenge scene had me rolling. The Darkseid reveal was phenomenal. They boarded the scene like an introduction to a 16 bit videogame boss level. Cyborg looks REALLY great in Green Lantern's suit, and Robin doing Batman's disappearing act was truly funny. "Say I'm Batman again! Say I'm Batman again! I DARE you!" Bea Arthur's gonna get medieval on Robin's @$$. I loved Raven repeatedly crashing the invisible jet and Tara Strong's hilarious line reading on "We are so bad at this!". I laughed at Beast Boy chewing Darkseid's legs. Speaking of Darkseid's legs, Cyborg's canon vaporizing Darkseid and leaving only his legs, which quickly fall into the lava was a truly funny visual. Another good Darkseid joke: I'm glad the show points out the potential Star Wars confusion. And then they take a gratuitous shot at Spider-Man while they are at it, and I love the show for it. "This REALLY lowers my opinion of Spider-Man." Classic. Disney just got served WBA-style. The flashback at the end was cool (including Cyborg in his New 52 design) but it is a little weird Robin isn't Nightwing yet, and has an older character design than Nightwing ever did. I think this episode got its future scenarios mixed up a bit. But this is still the best episode of the season. ***** Two-Part Average: *****.
The True Meaning Of Christmas:
You know, I'd accuse the show of being overly materialistic again... but it's right. It's one thing to be happy when you miss Christmas presents once. But every year? That's gotta be a drag. In every Christmas special about the true meaning of Christmas they always undercut that moral by having the virtuous person get presents anyways. We can pretend the Whos are saints all we want, but the truth is they got their presents an hour later anyways. It's easy to be a saint under those circumstances. The moral of those Christmas specials is that virtue is always rewarded. When that is simply not true, and always gutting whatever lessons about "presents don't matter" that the episode is trying to teach. There are parts of the episode I hated though. Raven and Starfire eating the Gingerbread house was truly grotesque. Beast Boy ridiculing Rudolph and Cyborg getting an elf fired shared a similar level of suck. But the episode more often delivered exchanges such as Raven yelling at Starfire that she was supposed to be nice enough for the rest of them, and Starfire retorting there is not enough niceness in the universe to make up for their naughties. I also love when Santa tells the Titans that Christmas isn't about presents Starfire says "I'm sorry, Friend-Santa. But you are the crazy." I like that Slade, Joker, Red X, See-More, and Kitten made the naughty list too. Santa's design was truly grotesque, but the song "All Hail The Jolly Fat Man" was seriously great. I loved the sound effects they made with each no presents reveal: first a fart sound, then a donkey bray, and finally a chicken cluck. There was one thing I liked about the Gingerbread Man. When Raven says something smells wonderful he says "Excuse me". I love that joke. I also laughed that Killer Moth's present hits him in the head and knocks him out. That's about right. ***.
Squash & Stretch:
FAIL. This show experiments with different animation styles from time to time, but both examples here were extremely ineffective. Why? You CAN'T do Toon Titans on this show. Because that's already what the show is all the time. When the Titans are puzzling out why Robin getting hurt isn't funny I'm thinking they are wrong. It's hilarious. "Real-life violence isn't funny. Right?" I like that Raven isn't sure. Also, the action toon Voltron parody was wrong too. Voltron and all of the shows like it in the 80's all had uniformly terrible animation. This was far too slick and well-timed to be truly parodying anything that ever really existed. When shows like Family Guy and Futurama change animation styles, they always try to make the animation look authentic to the style they are paying homage to, even if the animation itself looks worse. This episode forgot to do that. They had some great Nick Junior faces here though. As for Starfire saying the Toon Titans were the definitive version of the Teen Titans, my reaction was "I hope not". **.
Garage Sale:
Okay, this episode is pretty much Back To The Future, Part II. And they even used the proper episode numbers and titles for the memories. And Robin may not be an elf, but he's totally a leprechaun. I like that he and Batman used to climb up the sides of buildings like Adam West and Burt Ward. Somebody actually bought the remnants of the Legendary Sandwich? Gross. And I think Robin was right the first time for making fun of Raven's deep sounding speech. It doesn't matter that she was right, it was still lame. I loved the Easter Eggs on the boxes and junk. I noticed YJ Season 3, GL Season 3, Aya, Slade's Mask, an Orion doll, a Wonder Women teddy, Bane's speech therapy books, Darkseid's Skin Lotion, Krypton Codex, Nygma's Puzzles, Green Lanterns, Golden Age, Silver Age, Rachel D's letters (?), Bat Codpiece, Smile Bones, Gotham 200th Anniversary, Bumblebee Balloon, Colors of Raven crystals, Aquaman statue, Masks, N Turtle Shells, Waffles, Bat Jammies, Yearbook, Darkseid Doll, Archetype-O-Meter, Whacko Toys, Joker's Temporary Tattoos, WW's Lasso, Killer Crocs + Sandals, Harley's Hair Dye, Zod, 2nd X-Mas Decors, Selina's Kitty Litter, a Bat surfboard with a shark bite in it, Dawn Of Justice, Afternoon of Justice, and Bedtime of Justice. I loved Beast Boy's Charlie Chaplin bit, especially when he turned into a cat. I laughed at him kicking Silkie. I also love that Raven is the only Titan sensible enough to ASK for the item they wanted. I think the rest of the team totally overthinks things sometimes. I love that monsters are destroying the city while the Titans hold the garage sale. ***.
Secret Garden:
You can hate Cyborg wrecking Starfire's garden all you like, but the truth is he was right to be furious. Without proper use of dibs, society falls apart. "Next day dibs" are how fascist dictatorships are founded. And the idea that Raven likes watching flowers die because they are too colorful is one of the rare ways Raven completely sucks. I hated her and her melancholy in that moment. I liked that the Golden Girls were represented by raisins in wigs in a bowl. That's about right. Starfire and Cyborg's cute quiet talking was both funny and disturbing. I like that the vandalized bench at the end had "Why so serious?" and "Zsasz" written on it. Why does Starfire have hedges shaped like Batman in her garden? I like Easter Eggs as much as anyone but they should at least make sense the way "Ivy's Flower Shop" does. Best line goes to Starfire: "Goodbye sweet dibs!" So-so. **1/2.
The Cruel Giggling Ghoul:
It's Batman! I think it's pretty gutsy that the show can figure out a way to unmasked Batman as Bruce Wayne and have it mean exactly nothing. Well, except that it means that Gordon probably actually knows the true identity too. I loved the both of them being Beavis and Butthead this episode. Is Batman gonna be mad Robin is the one who gleefully pulled off the mask? And why is Robin surprised it's Bruce Wayne? I like that Raven wears contacts and tells the guy at the park that somebody wanting an amusement park to fail for millions of dollars in insurance money makes no sense and is not a real-world scenario. I liked the Ghoul checking his watch as Beast Boy stuttered on his G's. And I like that they put Lebron James in the main title. Dribble dribble dribble. He can eat a 6 ft. 8 sandwich. This episode has a helpful hint on discovering where the hidden levels are in the secret rooms on Scooby Doo. It's the part of the wall that has cel animation on it. The fact that the Scooby Gang never seems to notice how much the hidden level sticks out always amazes me. Loved Joker on the funhouse. Fun fact: Scott Menville played Red Herring on A Pup Named Scooby Doo back in the 1980's. Dude has been doing this forever. I loved Raven's "Ugh, now we have to go to the burger place AND the burrito place!" A dribbling expedition is exactly as boring and ridiculous an event as the Scooby Gang visits every week on the real show. This show know its Doo. ****.
How 'Bout Some Effort:
Poor Gizmo. I love that he's the only one objecting to the premise and Cyborg, Jinx, and the other Titans are totally committed to the ridiculousness. And he DOES looks cute swaddled. I'll give Beast Boy that. The soggy diaper ,made me sad. So pathetic. Seeing this kind of make me realize that without his gadgets, Gizmo is the most helpless character on the show. If he ISN'T actually a baby (which is debatable) he is exactly as frail and weak as one. Which is why he is so easy to push around to play jokes on Valentines' Day. I also laughed at the fact that some of the opening shots had the ever present Pelican nuzzling the crabs. It IS Valentines' Day after all. I especially liked how they had a a pair of half crab half pelican kids in the last opening shot. I think that Jinx failed school Valentines. I don't think she got it at all. She should NOT have been upset. The other Titans are the ones who should have been mad. Beast Boy crying is playing by the rules of school Valentines. That's how it works. HIVE Academy is a messed up place if Brother Blood never taught them that. I love that once Cyborg picks the beautiful talking flower it is dead. Dark and funny joke. Love the idea that Robin stayed up all night making his envelope. The Girl Moment was funny too. I especially love that when Beast Boy and Robin are trying to cheer Cyborg up, they take a bath with him. This show is so fudged up. Lot of cool Easter Eggs on the Valentines: Bruce + Selina, Mr. J + Harl, Hal + Carol, Wally + Artemis, Harley + Ivy (!), Nite-Owl + Laurie, Batman + Talia, Vic + Nora, Hawkman + Hawkgirl, Harvey + Rachel, CJ + Y (couldn't figure that one out), Harry + Ginny, Arthur + Mera, Clark + Lois, Bruce + Talia, Steve + Peg, Barry + Iris, Ollie + Dinah, BB + Rae Rae, R + Kori (!), B v S, Kal + Diana, Dan + Sun (didn't get that one), Bruce + WW, Ivy + Harleen (again!), Donnie + April (everyone knows April + Casey is the REAL power couple of that franchise), and Pete / MJ. I would have listed more had this been a Blu-Ray release. But those were the only ones I could read on DVD. ****.
Pyramid Scheme:
Often I will complain about this kids show dealing with problems that only effect adults, but I kind of like the idea of explaining pyramid schemes this simply to kids this early on. This may be the easiest to grasp scam prevention since South Park's John Edward episode. Lot of great jokes too. I love Cyborg saying "What kind of person do you think I am?" and complaining that Beast Boy was making him out to be a monster. I liked Raven poking holes that they had already done this plot before. I liked Beast Boy stating hard labor was only for criminals and pregnant ladies. And I like that both Batman AND the Joker fell for the scheme. NOBODY in the DC Universe looks good after this show is done with them. The resolution of Beast Boy laying an egg because the answer was inside him all along is probably the most convoluted solution the show has ever done. I liked the pelican's beak being stuffed with bills. I realized upon seeing the mummies again on the horses that they same to have the exact same design as Peace from "Wizards" except they are white instead of red. I love that Beast Boy opens Raven's mouth like a trash can lid. The mummies and sheriff stuff wasn't so hot but I don't care. I loved the episode anyways. ****1/2.
Finally A Lesson:
Remember what I JUST said about the show dealing with problems that don't effect kids? This is a prime example of that, and there is no real redeeming virtue to the episode. I do like the idea that a building being in a bad neighborhood means in the Titans-Go-verse it's rented entirely to supervillains. And I liked Robin impatiently saying "Take bath, wash your clothes more regularly, use mouthwash. THOSE are suggestions." And then Starfire says "Yes, then. Those are the suggestions from us." Classic. The episode? Not so much. Starfire's "Neighs" were funny and disturbing. And the lesson never to get trapped in an abandoned refrigerator is good for EVERYONE be you Indiana Jones or Punky Brewster. It's handy to have billionaire Bruce Wayne on call whenever you need $100,000. Punk Rocket continues to be the most obscure villain on the show. More cool Nick Jr. faces. But the episode was pretty much as fun as the premise promises: i.e. not at all. **.
Trailers:
Justice League Vs. Teen Titans: Little bit leery of having swear filled trailers for the adult cartoons on a kiddie cartoon release, but I understand why it is: it's the first animated DC Universe Animated Original Movie Teen Titans Movie. ***1/2.
Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Cosmic Clash: Looks cute, but a bit boring. ***.
Lego DC Comics Super Heroes: Justice League: Gotham City Break-Out: Is Will Friedle the new "House Voice" for Nightwing? And Scott Menville is playing Tim Drake! ****.
Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice: Do you know what's interesting? As underwhelming as the movie itself turned out to be, it is still a hundred times better and more interesting that this trailer hinted it was. I haven't seen a trailer fail this badly since Galaxy Quest's horrid ones. The irony is that Galaxy Quest's trailers were worse because that movie was actually good. But Batman v Superman is nowhere near as bloated and unfun as this trailer makes it sound like it's gonna be. 0.