In Search of Purpose
Much of my University career and time afterward has been spent questioning the purpose of life. The past couple of days, however, my thinking has turned in a new direction that questions the purpose of finding purpose. But "purpose" is a bit of a slippery term, because what if I fulfill it? Does that mean that I must die at that moment? Or just go on being purposeless, but content that I was able to fulfill that one. Or perhaps life is multi-purpose oriented and you cannot actually fulfill all of your purposes...but that seems stupid, because then you'd have to know all of them and prioritize so that you complete the most important ones first (in your opinion), which may not even be the best ones! And who would determine what is objectively best? Oh damn this philosophical mind that so enjoys tangents. I must digress.
So yes, I've come to a point where "purpose" does not interest me anymore because I don't think that it is attainable. Goals, however, have really made a resurgence into my vocabulary. I don't remember ever having goals as I was growing up, except that one about wanting to be batman (sometime around age 6...that dream was squashed when I realized that I wasn't wealthy enough to afford the toys!) I have come to appreciate the joy that can sprout from an accomplished goal. Striving for a goal does give the feeling of purpose, I suppose, in that you can feel that you are doing something for a reason. And that, I think, is important. Like the great line from "Miller's Crossing" where Gabriel Byrne says that their gang has done bad stuff before, but never without a reason. I think it's important to realize why you do certain things, so that your conscience can rest, knowing that you can justify your actions. I, for instance, am not tempted to push old ladies over...but an old lady that kicked my friend in the head? (It can happen...) Well then I feel justified in pushing her over and laughing at my friend.
So now I must figure out if "reason" is just another word for "purpose." They seem to be very similar. So has all of my rambling just changed my terminology, but not the essence of the problem?
So yes, I've come to a point where "purpose" does not interest me anymore because I don't think that it is attainable. Goals, however, have really made a resurgence into my vocabulary. I don't remember ever having goals as I was growing up, except that one about wanting to be batman (sometime around age 6...that dream was squashed when I realized that I wasn't wealthy enough to afford the toys!) I have come to appreciate the joy that can sprout from an accomplished goal. Striving for a goal does give the feeling of purpose, I suppose, in that you can feel that you are doing something for a reason. And that, I think, is important. Like the great line from "Miller's Crossing" where Gabriel Byrne says that their gang has done bad stuff before, but never without a reason. I think it's important to realize why you do certain things, so that your conscience can rest, knowing that you can justify your actions. I, for instance, am not tempted to push old ladies over...but an old lady that kicked my friend in the head? (It can happen...) Well then I feel justified in pushing her over and laughing at my friend.
So now I must figure out if "reason" is just another word for "purpose." They seem to be very similar. So has all of my rambling just changed my terminology, but not the essence of the problem?