Funnel Web Spiders My Ass
Okay, as you all probably know, or may have observed at some point, I have a terrible fear of insects. Bugs, arachnids, worm-like things, I don't care. They're all clumped in a category of "Animals-Matt-Doesn't-Love-And-Destroys-On-Site."
I've been given lecture after lecture about how dangerous these so called Funnel Web Spiders are as well as the abundance of shark and jellyfish related stories. All of which, as far as I can tell, have been grossly exaggerated. I think you see Funnel Webs here about as often as you see Black Widow's in The States and that in the past 30 years they've only had ONE person killed by a shark off the coast of Sydney. Areas like Perth and parts of Queensland though, are a different story. Anywho. NO ONE bothered to tell me that Australia, being in a tropical climate, serves as a breeding ground for cockroaches. Big, big cockroaches.
Flashback to Sunday. After a most excellent day of lunch and comic book shop browsing with a co-worker (sorry, still a nerd down here too) and checking out the botanical gardens for a second time around, I decided I'd call it a cheap night and chill out in my bedroom for a while. I'm lying in my bed, listening to my iPod, when something out of my peripheral vision momentarily catches my attention. It seems there's another source of movement in this room and last I checked I didn't have a roommate. That is until a three inch cockroach decided he was going to freeload on my ceiling for the better part of the evening. I *gracefully* bound off of my bed, grab one of my sandals, hop up onto the bed, proceed to swat the thing, it laughs at me, flutters down to my bed, and falls into the space between my bed and the wall. Outstanding. So much for an early night tonight. I strip my bed, hoping he didn't just burrow into my sheets somewhere. No bug. Remove and flip the mattress onto it's side. No bug. Then proceed to flip the entire box spring up onto it's side and wonder if my roommates are going to enter at any given moment wondering what in the hell their crazy American roommate is doing. No bug. Great. Wtf? After a good 20 minutes of searching I see the little bastard has been hiding along the dark base board. He jolts, I swat, (real, REAL hard) and begin to wonder if these things can release chemicals like wasps do after they've been killed to let others know they need help. I think I lied in bed for a good forty minutes after that with the lights on-no joke.
The locals think nothing of roaches. They're used to them and know that they're harmless. I don't care if they shit gold coins-I'd rather sleep in a room with pit vipers than even contemplate one of these things slipping under my covers at night.
On a less creepy note my roommate Danny has informed me that the next two weeks shall be considerably chill for him workwise and he's elected himself as my Australian tour guide. Bonus. He's playing (guitar) at a house party this coming Saturday and has extended an open invitation to me and any of my American friends. *Excellent*
Facebook photos to follow shortly...
I've been given lecture after lecture about how dangerous these so called Funnel Web Spiders are as well as the abundance of shark and jellyfish related stories. All of which, as far as I can tell, have been grossly exaggerated. I think you see Funnel Webs here about as often as you see Black Widow's in The States and that in the past 30 years they've only had ONE person killed by a shark off the coast of Sydney. Areas like Perth and parts of Queensland though, are a different story. Anywho. NO ONE bothered to tell me that Australia, being in a tropical climate, serves as a breeding ground for cockroaches. Big, big cockroaches.
Flashback to Sunday. After a most excellent day of lunch and comic book shop browsing with a co-worker (sorry, still a nerd down here too) and checking out the botanical gardens for a second time around, I decided I'd call it a cheap night and chill out in my bedroom for a while. I'm lying in my bed, listening to my iPod, when something out of my peripheral vision momentarily catches my attention. It seems there's another source of movement in this room and last I checked I didn't have a roommate. That is until a three inch cockroach decided he was going to freeload on my ceiling for the better part of the evening. I *gracefully* bound off of my bed, grab one of my sandals, hop up onto the bed, proceed to swat the thing, it laughs at me, flutters down to my bed, and falls into the space between my bed and the wall. Outstanding. So much for an early night tonight. I strip my bed, hoping he didn't just burrow into my sheets somewhere. No bug. Remove and flip the mattress onto it's side. No bug. Then proceed to flip the entire box spring up onto it's side and wonder if my roommates are going to enter at any given moment wondering what in the hell their crazy American roommate is doing. No bug. Great. Wtf? After a good 20 minutes of searching I see the little bastard has been hiding along the dark base board. He jolts, I swat, (real, REAL hard) and begin to wonder if these things can release chemicals like wasps do after they've been killed to let others know they need help. I think I lied in bed for a good forty minutes after that with the lights on-no joke.
The locals think nothing of roaches. They're used to them and know that they're harmless. I don't care if they shit gold coins-I'd rather sleep in a room with pit vipers than even contemplate one of these things slipping under my covers at night.
On a less creepy note my roommate Danny has informed me that the next two weeks shall be considerably chill for him workwise and he's elected himself as my Australian tour guide. Bonus. He's playing (guitar) at a house party this coming Saturday and has extended an open invitation to me and any of my American friends. *Excellent*
Facebook photos to follow shortly...