a cannot sleep entry.
i don't know when the last time i decided to write a livejournal entry when i could not sleep was, but here is one, and i apologize already.
if you've read this far, you are probably unusual. it is hard to realize that life is so dynamic. it is a good thing though, as i would hope not to remain the same person in the same place for the rest of my life. progression can be a beautiful thing. but what some gauge as progression might be viewed as quite the opposite to others. as far as how i am viewing it, i honestly do not care. i have plenty of people who once were my friends and now would not consider me one of theirs. that saddens me as i remember how things have been and all of the wonderful nostalgic experiences that i had.
when i look at my life, i want to see more than five minutes into the future. i have a brain to think about life, i would like to make use of it. in ten years, i hope to be a different man. the decisions i make today affect that. if i decide that i want to be a child today, i will most likely get into the habit of avoiding reality. maybe you, the reader, are quite different. but as for me, i think about myself in ten years and i hope that i am more selfless, a better servant of God, a better servant of people. i want to see my life more given over to the kingdom of God than given over to my lust, my selfish ambition, my pride, my arrogance, and all of those nasty things. so how do i live in this body that on one hand is afraid of change, afraid of transformation, and on the other, crying out for redemption and revolution inside my heart? the tension is the same tension that the fabric of this earth seems to struggle with. so much poverty. so many people stricken with and affected by aids. war, racism, prejudice, ignorance, blindness. the list goes on.
but what Christ died on the cross and rose again for was this kingdom. it will not be fully here until the coming of the Lord, but there are little glimpses of it. followers of Christ are called to demonstrate the presence and the power of the kingdom in their lives. they are called to live in a way that reflects the character of God and in a way that demonstrates a preview of what is to come. not heaven, where spirits float around and the earth is a cold dead place, but a kingdom on earth, where people have new bodies, and there is a completely new creation. justice and righteousness will span across the land and the Lord will have His throne set up as to rule over this land.
i am not there yet, but my desire is to shape my life and be shaped in a way in which i am reflecting this cosmological reality of the kingdom of God. all those who would yell "hypocrite," they ought to think twice. i have never claimed to be perfect or righteous. there are plenty of times where i am self-righteous and prideful. i am a sinful mess. but i have never claimed to have it all together. i know that i can never do that, which is in fact why i am a Christian. i am aware of my imperfection and i desire to serve a God who can transform this world by His power. perhaps you do not believe the same as i do, but if you did, i wouldn't imagine you would think twice about serving this God who desires such good things for humans. there is so much more to be said on this.
if you have read this far, you are a champion of livejournal. many people write about their days like this (this is completely fictional):
i woke up and realized i had a paper due.
i ate breakfast after i showered.
i saw this guy who was such an ass to me last week. people are so lame.
class sucked today. i fell asleep twice.
this thing on my arm is probably malignant.
(continues to list of mundane activities)
my parents are so annoying.
so i came home today and they asked me to help them take in groceries. how lame.
(throw in some typographical errors)
my cat is so ctue. i wish i had a camera so you coudl see him.
i really want a new car. mine is so ugly!!! (plenty of unnecessary exclamation points too)
so i am going to sleep now, k bye!!!!!!!!!! <3
those types of livejournal entries are very difficult to read through because they are not very interesting in all honesty. i know i am being a jerk, but i don't see how anyone would enjoy reading that and be inspired. i am not saying that we should write livejournal entries to please other people. not at all. all people should feel free to write about what they want. people should also feel free to not read what they do not want to read because it will not do anything for their mind. therefore, what i am saying is that if you have read this far, you are doing pretty well.
thank you for reading this. i hope that in some way it helps to encourage you, challenge you, or brighten your day. those are the livejournal entries that i love to read. i love to read about people whose lives are changing, who are facing challenges and dealing with them in mature and creative ways. i love who read about people who see problems in this world, proclaim them, and then actually do something about them. i love to read about people who love people. i am challenged to read entries that are an out flowing of a distressed emotion that we all experience in different gradations, and take that challenge and bring it to God in prayer. i love to hear people's hearts, and not some facade they carry around hopelessly. if anyone needs any prayer, do not hesitate to let me know. i am not some diligent praying warrior or anything. i would like to be more disciplined in bringing things to God and conversing with Him. but if you ask me to pray for something, i guarantee you that i will. requests through prayers are nothing without a God who can do something.
if you've read this far, you are probably unusual. it is hard to realize that life is so dynamic. it is a good thing though, as i would hope not to remain the same person in the same place for the rest of my life. progression can be a beautiful thing. but what some gauge as progression might be viewed as quite the opposite to others. as far as how i am viewing it, i honestly do not care. i have plenty of people who once were my friends and now would not consider me one of theirs. that saddens me as i remember how things have been and all of the wonderful nostalgic experiences that i had.
when i look at my life, i want to see more than five minutes into the future. i have a brain to think about life, i would like to make use of it. in ten years, i hope to be a different man. the decisions i make today affect that. if i decide that i want to be a child today, i will most likely get into the habit of avoiding reality. maybe you, the reader, are quite different. but as for me, i think about myself in ten years and i hope that i am more selfless, a better servant of God, a better servant of people. i want to see my life more given over to the kingdom of God than given over to my lust, my selfish ambition, my pride, my arrogance, and all of those nasty things. so how do i live in this body that on one hand is afraid of change, afraid of transformation, and on the other, crying out for redemption and revolution inside my heart? the tension is the same tension that the fabric of this earth seems to struggle with. so much poverty. so many people stricken with and affected by aids. war, racism, prejudice, ignorance, blindness. the list goes on.
but what Christ died on the cross and rose again for was this kingdom. it will not be fully here until the coming of the Lord, but there are little glimpses of it. followers of Christ are called to demonstrate the presence and the power of the kingdom in their lives. they are called to live in a way that reflects the character of God and in a way that demonstrates a preview of what is to come. not heaven, where spirits float around and the earth is a cold dead place, but a kingdom on earth, where people have new bodies, and there is a completely new creation. justice and righteousness will span across the land and the Lord will have His throne set up as to rule over this land.
i am not there yet, but my desire is to shape my life and be shaped in a way in which i am reflecting this cosmological reality of the kingdom of God. all those who would yell "hypocrite," they ought to think twice. i have never claimed to be perfect or righteous. there are plenty of times where i am self-righteous and prideful. i am a sinful mess. but i have never claimed to have it all together. i know that i can never do that, which is in fact why i am a Christian. i am aware of my imperfection and i desire to serve a God who can transform this world by His power. perhaps you do not believe the same as i do, but if you did, i wouldn't imagine you would think twice about serving this God who desires such good things for humans. there is so much more to be said on this.
if you have read this far, you are a champion of livejournal. many people write about their days like this (this is completely fictional):
i woke up and realized i had a paper due.
i ate breakfast after i showered.
i saw this guy who was such an ass to me last week. people are so lame.
class sucked today. i fell asleep twice.
this thing on my arm is probably malignant.
(continues to list of mundane activities)
my parents are so annoying.
so i came home today and they asked me to help them take in groceries. how lame.
(throw in some typographical errors)
my cat is so ctue. i wish i had a camera so you coudl see him.
i really want a new car. mine is so ugly!!! (plenty of unnecessary exclamation points too)
so i am going to sleep now, k bye!!!!!!!!!! <3
those types of livejournal entries are very difficult to read through because they are not very interesting in all honesty. i know i am being a jerk, but i don't see how anyone would enjoy reading that and be inspired. i am not saying that we should write livejournal entries to please other people. not at all. all people should feel free to write about what they want. people should also feel free to not read what they do not want to read because it will not do anything for their mind. therefore, what i am saying is that if you have read this far, you are doing pretty well.
thank you for reading this. i hope that in some way it helps to encourage you, challenge you, or brighten your day. those are the livejournal entries that i love to read. i love to read about people whose lives are changing, who are facing challenges and dealing with them in mature and creative ways. i love who read about people who see problems in this world, proclaim them, and then actually do something about them. i love to read about people who love people. i am challenged to read entries that are an out flowing of a distressed emotion that we all experience in different gradations, and take that challenge and bring it to God in prayer. i love to hear people's hearts, and not some facade they carry around hopelessly. if anyone needs any prayer, do not hesitate to let me know. i am not some diligent praying warrior or anything. i would like to be more disciplined in bringing things to God and conversing with Him. but if you ask me to pray for something, i guarantee you that i will. requests through prayers are nothing without a God who can do something.