...
Hot Girls
Or
Girls that stick around in your mind forever
Or
The regrets that you may have
Or
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
The link to catch you up on shit.
They keep comin' back. Either to rip your heart out, or take a piece of you, or just leave a couple of scars. You don't know why they keep comin' back, but they do. Somehow, you let them back into your life. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just I who likes the pain and suffering that they offer me. Am I really a masochistic person? Only time will tell.
If you read that link, the journal entry about my who dealings with Kim up to that point in my life, you will see that she and I have been dancing around eachother forever now. Here is the continuation of our story:
About the time I got back from my road trip, Kim calls me up to hang out. We do. She picks me up at my house, and we drive around for a while. We talk about this and that, things that have been goin' on. I tell her about my road trip, she tells me of her wedding plans with her b/f. They had gotten back together at that point, and he had proposed and all that jazz. Whoop-de-fuckin-do! Me sitting in the passenger seat, ready to hit the eject button at any moment or do a rolling dive out the window onto the streets. Anything to get me not thinkin' about her slipping away. We end up at IHOP. To this day, I still remember what she ordered. WTF? Eggs benidict. Me: French Toast. We have fun hangin' out, catchin' up, and just generally talkin' about stuff. She finally drives me back home. She give me a big hug before she leaves, and then I don't see her for a while, but we still talked on AIM and we've called eachother every once and a while.
Around this time I get back together with an ex of mine. And then I get a call from Kim saying that her b/f up and ended their relationship. We talk for a while. I tell her comforting things. She gets better. We say our goodbyes, promising to hang out over the Christmas break, or that I should come visit her in Sacramento. Which is only a 2 hour bus ride from where I'm at. Not a bad idea, to hang out and have fun with her. But I was with somebody at the time, and I didn't really wanna give Kim the wrong impression.
And then I ended things with my ex, and I was a fee man again. I moved into a new apartment, started meeting new people, having lots of fun, and generally getting on with my life. December rolls around, and I have fun with finals. Then Christmas came around and I had to spend time with the family. New Years rolls on over, and we try to throw a decnet party. It wasn't half bad. We had fun, though not as much as we would've liked. Then about a couple of days after New Years, Kim calls and tells me that I should come visit her in Sacramento. I had time to kill, and figured I'd spend a few days out there. That busted when she told me she was gonna come out to San Francisco. But we end up going bowling with a couple of her friends, a few of which I knew and hadn't seen in such a long time. Bowling was fun, but then somehow Kim and I end up back at my apartment to watch a movie. Lets just say that things were awkward there too.
Here's the thing: As much as I want to be with Kim, there's too much at risk. What if those feelings have past? What if she's really just trying to be my friend? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!!!
After the movie is over, she leaves cuz she's tired and so am I. We part with a long hug again, and she's off. I figured I won't hear from her for a while. WRONG! One thing I've come to learn is that I really don't know diddly SQUAT about women. Soooooo, what happens? She calls me the next day, telling me that I need to come out to Sacramento to see her some time soon.
I pretty much take this as a good sign, but I'm still fucking scared. Who wants their heart ripped out over and over again? Even if you really like this person? Seriously, I think I'm fucked!
I'm not really writing this to ask for your opinion, but for you to just get a feel on where I'm at in my life. This is where I stand, on "the raggedy edge", and I think I'm going to scream for my life! I think I'm going to dig around my endless cabinet of alcohol now....
Girls that stick around in your mind forever
Or
The regrets that you may have
Or
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
The link to catch you up on shit.
They keep comin' back. Either to rip your heart out, or take a piece of you, or just leave a couple of scars. You don't know why they keep comin' back, but they do. Somehow, you let them back into your life. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe it's just I who likes the pain and suffering that they offer me. Am I really a masochistic person? Only time will tell.
If you read that link, the journal entry about my who dealings with Kim up to that point in my life, you will see that she and I have been dancing around eachother forever now. Here is the continuation of our story:
About the time I got back from my road trip, Kim calls me up to hang out. We do. She picks me up at my house, and we drive around for a while. We talk about this and that, things that have been goin' on. I tell her about my road trip, she tells me of her wedding plans with her b/f. They had gotten back together at that point, and he had proposed and all that jazz. Whoop-de-fuckin-do! Me sitting in the passenger seat, ready to hit the eject button at any moment or do a rolling dive out the window onto the streets. Anything to get me not thinkin' about her slipping away. We end up at IHOP. To this day, I still remember what she ordered. WTF? Eggs benidict. Me: French Toast. We have fun hangin' out, catchin' up, and just generally talkin' about stuff. She finally drives me back home. She give me a big hug before she leaves, and then I don't see her for a while, but we still talked on AIM and we've called eachother every once and a while.
Around this time I get back together with an ex of mine. And then I get a call from Kim saying that her b/f up and ended their relationship. We talk for a while. I tell her comforting things. She gets better. We say our goodbyes, promising to hang out over the Christmas break, or that I should come visit her in Sacramento. Which is only a 2 hour bus ride from where I'm at. Not a bad idea, to hang out and have fun with her. But I was with somebody at the time, and I didn't really wanna give Kim the wrong impression.
And then I ended things with my ex, and I was a fee man again. I moved into a new apartment, started meeting new people, having lots of fun, and generally getting on with my life. December rolls around, and I have fun with finals. Then Christmas came around and I had to spend time with the family. New Years rolls on over, and we try to throw a decnet party. It wasn't half bad. We had fun, though not as much as we would've liked. Then about a couple of days after New Years, Kim calls and tells me that I should come visit her in Sacramento. I had time to kill, and figured I'd spend a few days out there. That busted when she told me she was gonna come out to San Francisco. But we end up going bowling with a couple of her friends, a few of which I knew and hadn't seen in such a long time. Bowling was fun, but then somehow Kim and I end up back at my apartment to watch a movie. Lets just say that things were awkward there too.
Here's the thing: As much as I want to be with Kim, there's too much at risk. What if those feelings have past? What if she's really just trying to be my friend? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!!!
After the movie is over, she leaves cuz she's tired and so am I. We part with a long hug again, and she's off. I figured I won't hear from her for a while. WRONG! One thing I've come to learn is that I really don't know diddly SQUAT about women. Soooooo, what happens? She calls me the next day, telling me that I need to come out to Sacramento to see her some time soon.
I pretty much take this as a good sign, but I'm still fucking scared. Who wants their heart ripped out over and over again? Even if you really like this person? Seriously, I think I'm fucked!
I'm not really writing this to ask for your opinion, but for you to just get a feel on where I'm at in my life. This is where I stand, on "the raggedy edge", and I think I'm going to scream for my life! I think I'm going to dig around my endless cabinet of alcohol now....