Helpful tips for fellow humans
Dear The Human Statue,
Here is a list of things that make it difficult for me to take you seriously:
- Seeing you eating your lunch
- Seeing you having a smoke
- Seeing you browsing the shops during slow periods
- The big sign on your suitcase that says "I AM A HUMAN STATUE, IT IS MY LIVELYHOOD AND HOW I MAKE A LIVEING, THANK U 4 UR SUPPORT"
- When you don't stand still
You could have a go at being a Man In A Funny Suit Who Is Painted All One Colour Except For The Bits Where It Looks Like A Pigeon Shat On Him. I think you'd be quite good at that.
Your friend,
Matt
P.S. My friend externalcombust could totally kick your arse at the buskings.
Do you, or any of your fellow humans, need Advice of a Straightforward and Scientific Nature? Why not write in and save yourself the bother of an education?