who knows

[mattabulous]

i don't know how much longer i can keep this up.
something has to change... job, location, something.
i'm so tired of this life. i'm tired of the feelings i have, the thoughts i have, everything.

what happens if things don't change though?
how long can i hurt as bad as i do before my body and soul just can't handle it anymore?
and when i can't take it? do i just kinda waste away, or have i already done that?

i'm ready for everything to just end.