this makes sense, i think?
maybe this is why everything broke...
i don't think i'm mad at sara, or anything she's done.
i don't think that when i was hurting so bad, and thought that i hated her, was really what i felt.
i think it's that i really do hate myself, and much more than i used to think.
i hate the fact that i'm so disgusted with the person i am...
and the fact that even when i was finally able to have someone like sara love me.
i didn't do what i should have done and been who i needed to be to make her happy.
i know that anyone who'd do that has got to be a completely stupid, worthless person...
and maybe it's just easier to blame her than to admit that i'm someone that i hate so much...
at this point, i think i'd accept this theory(?) just so i have *something* to make sense of this all.
i really do hate me.
i don't think i'm mad at sara, or anything she's done.
i don't think that when i was hurting so bad, and thought that i hated her, was really what i felt.
i think it's that i really do hate myself, and much more than i used to think.
i hate the fact that i'm so disgusted with the person i am...
and the fact that even when i was finally able to have someone like sara love me.
i didn't do what i should have done and been who i needed to be to make her happy.
i know that anyone who'd do that has got to be a completely stupid, worthless person...
and maybe it's just easier to blame her than to admit that i'm someone that i hate so much...
at this point, i think i'd accept this theory(?) just so i have *something* to make sense of this all.
i really do hate me.