Rest in peace, Summer.
Oh, Summer.
On Monday, you died in my arms. This was the most painful day of my entire life. It's just not the same without you here.
Oh Summer, you were a hunter.
I remember the first day we met. You looked up at me with big wide brown eyes and followed me for the entire day. Every step, every turn. Heh, even to the bathroom. You would watch, as if studying me, and pay attention to each little thing I did. I knew you for seven short years. Over those years you did some amazing things. At one point you were the only thing in Colleen's world after two devastating relationships. It was funny how you could sense human emotion. You always knew. If I was sad, you found me. Kept me warm when I was sick and was always there when I was feeling blue. I remember when your sister "Red Dog" left us, how you mourned. Her passing was also a tough loss. You two were scavengers. The best of friends. I remember the cold nights in our old house, sitting in front of the toasty fireplace. I would lay back in my chair and somehow you would fit your big 70lb ass completely tucked tightly in to my lap. I remember every opossum, rat, raccoon, and even iguana that you tracked and killed. My favourite had to be the 6 foot iguana in the back yard. Somehow you managed to get its' entire body inside your mouth. Hunting sure was your favourite. Nothing made you happier than being outside chasing lizards and squirrels... even birds. I even remember the first (and last) Bufo Toad that you tangled with. That sure was a scary foam-filled-mouth trip to the vet! Nothing could stop you though. Not even illness. As the years passed and with each trip home from college I noticed the once chubby bird dog that had an insatiable appetite was starting to lose weight with each visit. I became nervous.
Cancer.
Can-fuck-cer.
Why?
An enormous - nearly inoperable - mass lodged deep within your chest. I almost choked when I heard the news. We did everything we could. Every treatment and procedure. Unfortunately there was nothing that we could do, Summer. I am so sorry. I wish I could have done something. We stuffed you full of pills and needles, along with IV's for hydration to make you feel better and act like yourself on your short road on the way out. But with each trip home, I could see your time was coming. The cancer ate away at you. When I came home on Saturday I could see it in your eyes. Your eyes were bloodshot and sunk deep inside your head. I felt terrible and could not make it more than a minute discussing your condition with Colleen. How do you make this decision? Some times you seem spunky and alert while others... well others you weren't. It's not an easy thing to have a dog get in the car, possibly eager for the trip only to realize they're on the way to be put to sleep.
I'll never forget Monday.
Before we left I hugged Colleen for a long time... She could not bear the pain to go. It was just my Dad and I. I gave you 3 massive bowls full of the finest Honey Baked ham money can buy. What a meal that must have been. You deserved nothing less. Just as usual you rode in the back seat standing straight up with your nose at my ear the whole trip, as if you were trying to help us navigate along the way. I remember that it took me a solid 5 minutes to get the courage to open the car door to let you out and walk inside the office. It was terrible. I felt so horrible and sick to my stomach. The vet asked us if we wanted to be there for the Euthanasia. My Dad said he couldn't handle it. But I had to go in. It was not fair to just drop you off for your death. After all of what you have done, you deserved nothing less. My dad could see I was breaking down and came in with you and I. I've never cried to hard. You didn't resist. The vet gave you a tranquilizer that took forever to calm you down because your liver completely shot. Then... then it was time. I saw the syringe and almost passed out. But I stayed strong and I braced you tightly in my arms. I held you and thought of every sweet memory you and I and the family had together. She gave you half of the dose at first... after a a minute you collapsed to the floor and into my lap. I could feel your soft breaths and your heart beat. After the remainder of the shot was injected, I waited. My mind was completely blank. I held you until I felt your very last breath and until I felt the very last beat of your heart. I miss you so much Summer. It's just not the same when I come home late at night and you're not here to greet me. You're not in pain anymore and I feel that somehow you are in a better place. Perhaps in an eternal hunt for birds and rabbits and squirrels.
Rest in peace, Summer. I miss you every day and will never forget you.
Love,
Your brother Matty
12/18/2006 RIP
On Monday, you died in my arms. This was the most painful day of my entire life. It's just not the same without you here.
Oh Summer, you were a hunter.
I remember the first day we met. You looked up at me with big wide brown eyes and followed me for the entire day. Every step, every turn. Heh, even to the bathroom. You would watch, as if studying me, and pay attention to each little thing I did. I knew you for seven short years. Over those years you did some amazing things. At one point you were the only thing in Colleen's world after two devastating relationships. It was funny how you could sense human emotion. You always knew. If I was sad, you found me. Kept me warm when I was sick and was always there when I was feeling blue. I remember when your sister "Red Dog" left us, how you mourned. Her passing was also a tough loss. You two were scavengers. The best of friends. I remember the cold nights in our old house, sitting in front of the toasty fireplace. I would lay back in my chair and somehow you would fit your big 70lb ass completely tucked tightly in to my lap. I remember every opossum, rat, raccoon, and even iguana that you tracked and killed. My favourite had to be the 6 foot iguana in the back yard. Somehow you managed to get its' entire body inside your mouth. Hunting sure was your favourite. Nothing made you happier than being outside chasing lizards and squirrels... even birds. I even remember the first (and last) Bufo Toad that you tangled with. That sure was a scary foam-filled-mouth trip to the vet! Nothing could stop you though. Not even illness. As the years passed and with each trip home from college I noticed the once chubby bird dog that had an insatiable appetite was starting to lose weight with each visit. I became nervous.
Cancer.
Can-fuck-cer.
Why?
An enormous - nearly inoperable - mass lodged deep within your chest. I almost choked when I heard the news. We did everything we could. Every treatment and procedure. Unfortunately there was nothing that we could do, Summer. I am so sorry. I wish I could have done something. We stuffed you full of pills and needles, along with IV's for hydration to make you feel better and act like yourself on your short road on the way out. But with each trip home, I could see your time was coming. The cancer ate away at you. When I came home on Saturday I could see it in your eyes. Your eyes were bloodshot and sunk deep inside your head. I felt terrible and could not make it more than a minute discussing your condition with Colleen. How do you make this decision? Some times you seem spunky and alert while others... well others you weren't. It's not an easy thing to have a dog get in the car, possibly eager for the trip only to realize they're on the way to be put to sleep.
I'll never forget Monday.
Before we left I hugged Colleen for a long time... She could not bear the pain to go. It was just my Dad and I. I gave you 3 massive bowls full of the finest Honey Baked ham money can buy. What a meal that must have been. You deserved nothing less. Just as usual you rode in the back seat standing straight up with your nose at my ear the whole trip, as if you were trying to help us navigate along the way. I remember that it took me a solid 5 minutes to get the courage to open the car door to let you out and walk inside the office. It was terrible. I felt so horrible and sick to my stomach. The vet asked us if we wanted to be there for the Euthanasia. My Dad said he couldn't handle it. But I had to go in. It was not fair to just drop you off for your death. After all of what you have done, you deserved nothing less. My dad could see I was breaking down and came in with you and I. I've never cried to hard. You didn't resist. The vet gave you a tranquilizer that took forever to calm you down because your liver completely shot. Then... then it was time. I saw the syringe and almost passed out. But I stayed strong and I braced you tightly in my arms. I held you and thought of every sweet memory you and I and the family had together. She gave you half of the dose at first... after a a minute you collapsed to the floor and into my lap. I could feel your soft breaths and your heart beat. After the remainder of the shot was injected, I waited. My mind was completely blank. I held you until I felt your very last breath and until I felt the very last beat of your heart. I miss you so much Summer. It's just not the same when I come home late at night and you're not here to greet me. You're not in pain anymore and I feel that somehow you are in a better place. Perhaps in an eternal hunt for birds and rabbits and squirrels.
Rest in peace, Summer. I miss you every day and will never forget you.
Love,
Your brother Matty
12/18/2006 RIP