Chandelier (chapter 13)
Title: Chandelier
Author: Matsuaurore
Banner: My lovely Antimiya88 <3
Pairing: Ohmiya, Junba, Sakumoto
Genre: Au, angst, romance, drama
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Disclaimer: Only own the plot though, I wish I could own them xD
Summary: Nino is a young man who is physically abused by his boyfriend for years but seems determined to cope with this horrible life until he meets Ohno, a weird man who will show him how wonderful life can be.
Chapter 13:
“Are you okay?” Sho asked as Jun was staring at his cup of coffee for some minutes without uttering a single word.
“Hum?” Jun raised his eyes, certainly too lost in his thoughts to pay attention to Sho’s words.
“You looked elsewhere.” Sho smiled softly.
“Sorry. I was wondering why you decided to become a psychologist. It’s not a common work.”
“Because I wanted to help people.”
“Are you serious?” Jun raised an eyebrow. Does Sho was making fun of him?
“Yes.” Sho smiled.
“Stop making fun of me!”
Sho burst out laughing and finally nodded. “Okay, I was making fun of you. Would you find me weird if I told you it was because I was curious?”
“Eh? What do you mean?”
“Humans are fascinating. They are the only living being who’s the most complex, subtle and deep mind. Despite all our efforts, we can’t explain everything about how human’s minds work and that fascinates me. A teeny bit can make human’s heart fluctuate.”
“But isn’t it a psychologist’s job to control that?”
“Even God can’t.”
“Then, your job is useless.”
“Of course it isn’t! People who have psychic troubles are unable to make self-analyze. My job is to listen to them, to show them which problems mess their lives and to find a solution with them.” Sho smiled.
“It’s true. The session with Sho helped me to understand what my problem was and helped me to reduce my burden.” Jun thought.
“However, if I’m so interested by Human’s mind, it’s because my parents were murdered.” Sho suddenly said, making Jun gasp in surprise. “I was 15 and came home later because of my piano lesson. When I reached my house, the door wasn’t locked and everything was dark. It was strange because I knew my parents were at home at this hour but I decided to enter. There was a weird smell, acrid. I switched the lights on and discovered stains of blood on the ground leading to the bathroom. I opened the door and came face to face with the murderer. My parents were chopped in a pull of blood in the bath. The man was stroking a knife in his hand with a tissue. Do you know what he told me?” Sho chuckled under Jun’s horrified look. “‘Give me a hand’. That’s all. I screamed without being able to stop myself and when I regain consciousness, I was in a bed hospital.”
“And the murderer?”
“He’d been immediately arrested.”
“I see.” Jun lowered his head. “But why did he do that?”
“Before, this man had already been arrested because of a car accident. My father was his layer.”
“I don’t understand. He should have felt grateful!”
“During the trial for the murder of my parents, the man swore it was Satan himself who ordered him to do that. In the end, he was known as no responsible of his acts because of madness and escaped to jail.”
“What???!!!! For alienation?!!!”
“I felt betrayed by the justice. And at this time, I didn’t really understand what madness was.”
“It’s why you became psychoanalyst.”
“Exactly. I wanted to understand what alienation was. Does the culprit was really irresponsible of his acts? Today, I still don’t know. But if we suppose he was unable to make the difference between good and evil, is it a reason to absolve his crimes? I don’t have the answer.” Sho drank his tea. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you this horrible story.”
“Don’t worry, it’s me who asked you.” Jun smiled. ‘Even Sho has deep wounds. But he doesn’t avoid them, he confronts them to understand them. Behind this sometimes cold face hides a big suffering. It’s with him that I’ll remember my past for sure.’ The bartender thought.
“Let’s go to your old university, we will look at the archives and will maybe find the name of this mysterious man.” Sho stood up.
They spent some hours at the university, checking all the files concerning the students but didn’t find anything interesting, as if something was missing and despite his will to find the answers he needed, Jun didn’t feel well. Since they had crossed the gratings of the academy, the bartender was shivering, his heart beating fast and sweat rolling down his temples. It was as if his body and mind didn’t like this place despite the good memories he had lived here. As if his subconscious was screaming him to run away from the university.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know… I have lived wonderful moments here, I loved my lessons, my teachers, my friends… But I can’t explain why I feel so uncomfortable… It’s weird…”
“Yes. Let’s go, we haven’t found anything anyway.” Sho smiled and both left the room. “I have some patients this afternoon, do you want to come to my apartment tonight?”
“Why not? I work at the club but I’ll try to come after my shift.” Jun kissed his cheek and climbed in his car, impatient to leave the university and this so unpleasant sensation. Why did he feel like that? Does his old academy also hid him forgotten memories? Lost in his thoughts, Jun drove toward the host club and entered it without even greeting the security guards. “Let’s forget that for tonight.” Jun shook his head and changed his clothes before joining the bar where he found Ohno Satoshi waiting. He had totally forgotten their appointment and his promise to help him with Nino. ‘I really have to focus on something else than these fucking lost memories. They need me and Nino’s situation will get worse if I don’t help Ohno…’ Jun thought. Ohno really wasn’t in his element, it was clear this kind of place wasn’t his cup of tea at all and certainly even disgusted him. “Hi, a cocktail?”
“Yes, please.” Ohno blinked a bit, coming back to reality.
“Here you have.” Jun pushed a glass full of a yellow liquid in front of Ohno who blinked.
“Thank you.” Ohno swallowed the substance with suspicion before smiling. “Delicious!”
“It’s Nino’s favorite.” Jun winked. “I’m glad you finally called me. This baka is doing anything to forget you and I’m fed up to watch all this mess from my bar.”
“How is he?”
“Bad. He drinks too much, he sleeps with all the clients he has every night and I suspect him to take some drugs. Anytime I try to talk to him, he ignores me. And it’s not better when Aiba or Tomoya tries…”
“He ignores my calls and my messages…”
“That’s why I thought about a plan. If he loves this work so much, then, he shouldn’t say no to a new special client.” Jun grinned, staring at a lost Ohno who finally gasped.
“Oh no! Forget this idea, I won’t book him!” Ohno exclaimed.
“Why not?”
“I’m against this kind of work! I hate people like them…” Ohno showed the customers in the room. "Who cheat on their wives or take the host for their sex toys.”
“It’s the only way to talk to Nino. And to convince him.”
“Why would it work? At the second he will see my face, he will run away.”
“Not if the orders come from the big boss.” Jun winked.
“What do you mean?”
“I talked to Tomoya and he agreed to send Nino to a very special client’s house.”
“Nino knows where I live.”
“At a love hotel or elsewhere, c’mon, Ohchan -Ohno blinked at the nickname- do you want to have him back or not?” Jun rolled his eyes.
“I do…”
“Then, find a place where you want him to join you and text me. I’ll tell Tomoya where Nino will have to join you.”
“Okay…” Ohno sighed, not sure if this plan was going to work. “I guess I don’t have the choice…”
“We will keep in touch. And I don’t know a lot about your couple but maybe you could find things that Nino owned and that would make him believe you.” Jun smiled and started another drink when a customer sat next to Ohno.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hello, Sho-chan, why are you here, I was meant to join you after my shift, no?” Jun smiled softly.
“Well, I was too impatient to see you.” Sho blushed.
“Baka.” Jun laughed and turned toward Ohno who was staring at them with lost eyes. Okay, he had missed a chapter or what? Since when Jun was dating another man than Aiba? “Go, Nino’s shift starts in some minutes.”
*****
Yoshiro looked at the drawing in his hand and finally stopped to stare at the big university in front of him.
“So, it’s here. If I follow the map, the place with the cross should be…” Yoshiro gasped and froze, seeing a big painting on the wall. It showed an orchestra that looked like the same background than the one on the picture they found in the corpse’s hand. “Why did it lead me here? It must…” Yoshiro’s eyes widened. On the painting on the left was written I know everything with a small red apple. A ring made the man jump and taking his phone, Yoshiro answered. “Moshi moshi?”
“Inspector? We need you to come quickly, we have found the head of the mummy in a cemetery.”
“What?! And why are you sure it’s the good head?”
“Because someone called us to inform where the head was. We didn’t identify the person, though.”
“Wait, does the cemetery is next to a university of dance and music?”
“How do you know???!”
“I’m coming.” Yoshiro hung up and ran toward the place, finding his colleague next to a big hole with some policemen.
“It’s strange. It seems the grave also contained the corpse… Ah, I forgot to tell you that the laboratory sent us the picture.” Yoshiro took the photo and gasped.
“I know where we can find the painting behind them. I found it by chance when I came to the university next to the cemetery. You should go there to see by yourself.” Yoshiro left. Once far away from the place, the inspector took his phone. “Moshi moshi… It’s me. Yes, it’s been a while. We have a big problem… The case is going to be reopened. I’ll tell you everything but in a safe place.” Yoshiro whispered. “Okay, I’m coming.”
Yoshiro drove anxiously, wondering how he was going to deal with this mess. He hadn’t planned that someone would discover the truth and would force the police to investigate after all this time. If they found out what happened, he would also end in jail. The inspector parked his car and entered the small building quickly before knocking on a door.
“Hello, Yoshiro, it’s been a while.” The man on the sofa smiled.
“Yes and in other circumstances, I would have been happy to see you.” Yoshiro said nervously.
“Tell me.”
Yoshiro put the picture on the man’s lap. “Some days ago, a corpse has been found without its head. A mummy, to be exact. It held this picture. And guess what, an anonymous call told us where the head was.” The man in front of him paled.
“You mean…”
“Yes. This cemetery.”
“Shit…”
“You should inform him about the situation, it also concerns him.”
“I’ll take care of that. Thank you for telling me, try to cover the tracks.”
“I’ll do my best but with this picture, they’re going to come and interrogate them.”
“I’ll deal with the police. They have nothing, just a picture. Leave now before the person who found out the truth discovers you here.” The man stroked his face and took his phone. “It’s me. The case is going to be reopened. Be prepared. I’ll try to find who’s the responsible of this mess and I’ll kill him. Don’t worry, nobody will find out what happened. Be careful, someone is maybe following you.”
****
Walking down 29th and park
I saw you in another's arms
Only a month we've been apart
You look happier
Saw you walk inside a bar
He said something to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours
Yeah you look happier, you do
Aiba sat on the bench sadly, wondering why he was here, stalking his ex-lover like a jealous boyfriend. It was stronger than him, since the night he had spent with Jun some weeks ago, Aiba couldn’t stop but worry, knowing his ex-lover had to deal with these horrible nightmares. The host knew by heart how Jun was in these moments because it was him who had managed to appease them when they started going out together. He would never forget the first night they had spent together where Jun had screamed in his sleep. It wasn’t a banal scream like when you dreamt about spiders attacking you or someone killing you. This night, Jun’s scream had turned his blood to ice. There was so much despair and fear in Jun’s voice. The way he had implored, the way his body was shaking and sweating. As if he was living a horrible moment, a moment you wanted to forget for your whole life. After this night, Aiba had spent ton of hours rocking Jun’s shaking body, whispering him comforting words and stroking his wet hair. They had lived this hell together even if Jun had no idea why he was having these terrible nightmares. Luckily, after some months, Jun’s dreams suddenly stopped for Aiba’s biggest relief. But now they were separated, the host was having very bad nights, knowing his ex-lover was going through all this mess again and alone.
Well, not alone.
Because now, Jun had this annoying Sakurai who looked head over heels in love with him. It was maybe cruel but Aiba prayed that his ex-boyfriend would never feel the same.
“I’m so egoist. You look happy with him, I should let you go completely.” Aiba whispered, looking at Jun through the glass of the café. His ex-lover was talking and laughing with Sho, both lost in their own world.
Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody love you like I do
Promise that I will not take it personal baby
If you're moving on with someone new
Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you
“I had promised myself to let you go. But I’m pathetic, I can’t even let you to someone else. Why are we always meant to be separated? Why can’t we be together, happy? It’s unfair, we never deserved all this mess!!” Aiba cried, hitting the bench with his fist. “You maybe will find someone else than me. But nobody will ever be able to love you like I do, Jun. Nobody.” The host stood up and walked toward his car. What was he going to do? How was he going to do to live without Jun and to see him with someone else. “Should I die?” Aiba chuckled sadly, parking his car and walking toward his apartment, Yuki welcoming him happily. “Do you know what to do?” The host took the puppy in his arms, smiling when a wet tongue licked his cheek. Taking a beer, Aiba sat on the ground, staring at the room with sad eyes. There was so many memories in this apartment. Jun and him had chosen this place together and his lover had decorated himself, not caring about his opinion because he had bad tastes, like Jun often said to make fun of him.
Sat in the corner of the room
Everything's reminding me of you
Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier
Aren't you?
Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody need you like I do
I know that there's others that deserve you
But my darling I am still in love with you
Aiba drank another beer, looking at the big photography Jun had put on the wall. They had taken it at a barbecue during summer a long time ago. Nagase was there, preparing the meat while Jun and him where playing like two children, forgetting their problems for an afternoon. They looked so happy on the picture, Jun more beautiful than ever with this so special smile he had when everything around him made him happy and relax. His chocolate eyes were shining and staring lovingly at Aiba who had stuck their foreheads, their smiling mouths almost touching and Jun’s arms firmly wrapped around his neck. It was Nagase who had offered them this big photography and his lover hadn’t wait long before putting it on the wall of the living room.
“Our happiness…” Aiba cried silently. “Shit, I’m pathetic… Crying like a teenager after a break-up.” The host laughed, tears rolling down his cheeks even more. “If you hadn’t… we would be both together and happy…” Aiba dived his face in his hands, crying loudly.
But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you
Baby you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
But if he breaks your heart like lovers do
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you
“I think I have maybe found something interesting.” Sho said, swallowing his cup of coffee.
“Tell me, everything can be helpful.”
“After your start, I have made my own researches. And I have found this pamphlet.” Sho pushed the paper toward Jun who took it with a frown.
“The pamphlet for our Christmas show? I’m not sure I’ll be able to recognize this Haruki…”
“It’s okay, all these documents are here to help you remember. Even if it’s a little detail. You have danced for this show, no?”
“Yes. I had the main role… We have certainly taken this photo right after…”
“Okay, now, look at the list of the dancers.” Sho turned the page of the booklet. “There is Haruki’s name on it. He was also a dancer.” Jun gasped, his eyes widening. “And he had the second role of the show. Try to remember his face, you obviously worked for months with him… I made some researches and he was a student of your university but wasn’t on the list of the graduated.”
“Eh? How is it possible?”
“He has left the university before the final exams.”
“And you know why?”
“Because he is dead.” Sho threw a journal on the table, Jun taking it with a gasp.
A student of a dance academy found dead,
Crushed by a train.
Accident or suicide?
Haruki Terajima, student of a famous dance academy
Has been crushed by a train on Seibu Haijima’s line, near Tamagawa-Josui’s station.
It seemed he had passed the safety barrier.
No farewell letter has been found but the testimony of his friends said he was depressed since some days.
The police has concluded a suicide caused by an emotional shock following a romantic disappointment and has closed the case.
“An emotional shock? Caused by a romantic disappointment?” Jun’s face paled. “I really was… his boyfriend?” The bartender’s hands started to shake, sweat rolling down his pale face.
“Don’t make too quick conclusions.”
‘If it’s the case, it explains why Aiba and Nagase didn’t want to talk about him and my forgotten past. It means I have locked this year deep in my mind to stop the pain and the guilt I felt. My fear of men… These messages I wrote on the mirror… My nightmares… They all mean one thing… I have killed Haruki Terajima…’ Jun thought, diving his face in his shaking hands.
****
Some hours after the discovering of the mummy’s head, the man’s identity was found.
“After your start, a student card has been found next to the head. It’s a big chance. We are almost sure the famous mummy is a student. His name was Daichi Furukawa.” The policeman said to Yoshiro. It was you who was in charge of the investigation about Daichi Furukawa’s disappearance three years ago, no? It will be hard to tell his family their son has been found dead three years later…”
“Yes. When he disappeared, his mother did everything to convince us to keep the case open. For her, it wasn’t a runaway, his son was a brilliant dancer and had a bright future in this middle. But we had no lead so, we closed the case after one year of researches. He was over the age of majority, so, we couldn’t keep looking for him eternally. Mostly without any leads…”
“But the main question is why someone has decided to exhume the corpse three years later? It’s too weird…
“Don’t worry, I’ll find out the truth of this story.” Yoshiro replied before leaving his colleague alone.
****
Jun yawned, finishing the cocktail he was preparing, lost in his thoughts. He was lost. Completely lost. His nightmares were worse than ever, preventing him to sleep and driving him crazy. He had killed his ex-lover but there were still missing pieces in this fucking weird puzzle.
“Jun, are you okay?” Jun blinked and raised his eyes to see the worried face of his ex-lover.
“Ye-s… I was lost in my thoughts, that’s all.” Jun forced a smiled.
“You look exhausted…” Aiba stroked his cheek softly, making him shiver.
“I’m fine, don’t worry. Just tired. Here, your cocktail.” The bartender pushed the glass toward Aiba who took it.
“You should take some days off… to have some rest…”
“It wouldn’t change anything, I…” Loud voices cut him off and turning his head, Jun saw three men outside fighting, one of them holding a knife full of blood, the second man covering his bleeding arm with his hand while the third one was smirking.
Jun’s eyes widened, his body freezing.
“Stop it!!!” Someone yelled to the men.
Jun gasped, seeing blood everywhere on the walls, the ground and even on the counter.
“Stop it!!!” A voice screamed in his head.
Screams could be heard outside, people running away in panic. The man fell on the ground, his stomach bleeding under the two smirking men.
“Finish him!” The first one ordered.
“Okay, but hold him.”
Jun stared at the scene, paralyzed. It was as if time had stopped, preventing him to move and to scream. The man on the ground looked at him, holding out his hand to Jun before his eyes closed. Jun screamed, holding his head with both hands and falling on his knees. Why this scene seemed so familiar to him??? Why couldn’t he move to help the man? Why nobody ran to help him???
“Jun???!!!”
Jun opened his eyes, seeing a panicked Aiba above him shaking his body.
“Masaki?” Jun gasped, staring around him and seeing everybody looking at him with surprised faces. “The man!!! We have to help the man!!!”
“What do you mean? Which man?” Aiba helped him to stand up.
“The man outside! Two men stabbed him, you saw them too!!!” Jun ran toward the door and opened it before gasping. The street was calm, people walking peacefully and laughing. Jun looked down and didn’t see any stains of blood, as if they had disappeared.
“Jun, are you sure you’re okay?” Aiba asked softly. “We were talking and suddenly, you started to scream ‘Stop it!’ with a scared face…”
“But I saw these two men stabbing a guy…” Jun stroked his face. “I think I’m just tired…”
“I’ll take you home, you can’t work in this state…”
“It’s okay, I’ll take a taxi. You haven’t finished your shift…”
“But…”
“Tell Tomoya I didn’t feel well and left…” Jun grabbed his coat and left. Ten minutes later, he was in front of his old university, trying to understand what had happened. “It felt so real… I’m sure I saw these men killing this guy… Am I becoming crazy?” The bartender walked inside, joining the room where they made their shows. In all his nightmares, he ended here with this frightening atmosphere. Walking toward the scene, Jun shivered in fear. It wasn’t just a dream. If he remembered well, there was a big pit under the stage where the orchestra played when they danced. “The pit is here… it’s not just nightmares… this gloomy atmosphere, this smell of moldy… Yes…” Jun’s eyes widened. “This day, I was walking toward the pit, looking for someone… And then…” Jun gasped, holding his head painfully.
There was a man… A man who grabbed his arm… “Who are you?!!! Let me go!!!” Jun screamed but the man hit him, making him faint.
Jun opened his eyes and ran toward the control room, opening the door and gasping when a flash blurred his view. The bartender looked around him. He was alone but hadn’t imagined these pictures and this terrifying sensation.
“I have seen something I shouldn’t have…” Jun whispered. “A scene I have tried to forget desperately…”
*****
“And you didn’t tell me?! Are you stupid?!” The man yelled to the other one who lowered his head.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know what to do…”
“Someone is digging the past… It’s bad. It’s happening again… If the police discovers what happened, it will be over for us… Be careful, you’re in danger too if the man who wants to expose the truth tries to kill all the persons of this day…”
“You too.”
“I know but I’m fine. Matsumoto is also in danger. He was here with us this day.”
“I’ll ask someone to protect him discreetly.”
****
“HELP ME!!!!”
“Don’t worry, Jun, it will be over soon.” The skeleton smirked. “You wanted it too, you should thank me instead of crying.”
“NOOOOOO!!!!” Jun screamed, opening his eyes, panting. His apartment was dark and silent, his bedsheets tangled around his body. “Again this nightmare…” Jun left his bed and walked to his bathroom, gasping when his eyes saw the mirror. I’m inside you. You’re inside me. The bartender ran toward the main door but found it locked like all the windows of his apartment. “No… Not again…” Jun lowered his eyes and screamed, seeing his hands covered of black felt tip.
To be continued…
A/N: Hiiii! See, I’ve managed to write this chapter quickly! To be honest, I wrote it in one go because I have loved to come back to my dear Junba <3 I missed them and it’s so exciting to write all these mysteries around them xD
I know some readers (yes, Andy, I’m mostly talking about you my dear :P) will kill me for this cut xD I thought I’d give you all the answers about Junba but I’m not a fan of Jun for nothing and my DoS side completely crushed my DoM side against a wall to force me to add one more chapter (yes, the next chapter won’t be an epilogue like I had planned but will be the last chapter and will conclude everything).
So, I’m deeply sorry for being so sadist but please, wait for the final chapter, it will be released next weekend J I hope you don’t get bored with this story and will follow it until its end, comments (even short ones) are always deeply <3<3<3<3<3 See you next week !!!
And お誕生日おめでとう大ちゃん <3<3<3<3<3
Author: Matsuaurore
Banner: My lovely Antimiya88 <3
Pairing: Ohmiya, Junba, Sakumoto
Genre: Au, angst, romance, drama
Rating: PG-13 to NC-17
Disclaimer: Only own the plot though, I wish I could own them xD
Summary: Nino is a young man who is physically abused by his boyfriend for years but seems determined to cope with this horrible life until he meets Ohno, a weird man who will show him how wonderful life can be.
Chapter 13:
“Are you okay?” Sho asked as Jun was staring at his cup of coffee for some minutes without uttering a single word.
“Hum?” Jun raised his eyes, certainly too lost in his thoughts to pay attention to Sho’s words.
“You looked elsewhere.” Sho smiled softly.
“Sorry. I was wondering why you decided to become a psychologist. It’s not a common work.”
“Because I wanted to help people.”
“Are you serious?” Jun raised an eyebrow. Does Sho was making fun of him?
“Yes.” Sho smiled.
“Stop making fun of me!”
Sho burst out laughing and finally nodded. “Okay, I was making fun of you. Would you find me weird if I told you it was because I was curious?”
“Eh? What do you mean?”
“Humans are fascinating. They are the only living being who’s the most complex, subtle and deep mind. Despite all our efforts, we can’t explain everything about how human’s minds work and that fascinates me. A teeny bit can make human’s heart fluctuate.”
“But isn’t it a psychologist’s job to control that?”
“Even God can’t.”
“Then, your job is useless.”
“Of course it isn’t! People who have psychic troubles are unable to make self-analyze. My job is to listen to them, to show them which problems mess their lives and to find a solution with them.” Sho smiled.
“It’s true. The session with Sho helped me to understand what my problem was and helped me to reduce my burden.” Jun thought.
“However, if I’m so interested by Human’s mind, it’s because my parents were murdered.” Sho suddenly said, making Jun gasp in surprise. “I was 15 and came home later because of my piano lesson. When I reached my house, the door wasn’t locked and everything was dark. It was strange because I knew my parents were at home at this hour but I decided to enter. There was a weird smell, acrid. I switched the lights on and discovered stains of blood on the ground leading to the bathroom. I opened the door and came face to face with the murderer. My parents were chopped in a pull of blood in the bath. The man was stroking a knife in his hand with a tissue. Do you know what he told me?” Sho chuckled under Jun’s horrified look. “‘Give me a hand’. That’s all. I screamed without being able to stop myself and when I regain consciousness, I was in a bed hospital.”
“And the murderer?”
“He’d been immediately arrested.”
“I see.” Jun lowered his head. “But why did he do that?”
“Before, this man had already been arrested because of a car accident. My father was his layer.”
“I don’t understand. He should have felt grateful!”
“During the trial for the murder of my parents, the man swore it was Satan himself who ordered him to do that. In the end, he was known as no responsible of his acts because of madness and escaped to jail.”
“What???!!!! For alienation?!!!”
“I felt betrayed by the justice. And at this time, I didn’t really understand what madness was.”
“It’s why you became psychoanalyst.”
“Exactly. I wanted to understand what alienation was. Does the culprit was really irresponsible of his acts? Today, I still don’t know. But if we suppose he was unable to make the difference between good and evil, is it a reason to absolve his crimes? I don’t have the answer.” Sho drank his tea. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have told you this horrible story.”
“Don’t worry, it’s me who asked you.” Jun smiled. ‘Even Sho has deep wounds. But he doesn’t avoid them, he confronts them to understand them. Behind this sometimes cold face hides a big suffering. It’s with him that I’ll remember my past for sure.’ The bartender thought.
“Let’s go to your old university, we will look at the archives and will maybe find the name of this mysterious man.” Sho stood up.
They spent some hours at the university, checking all the files concerning the students but didn’t find anything interesting, as if something was missing and despite his will to find the answers he needed, Jun didn’t feel well. Since they had crossed the gratings of the academy, the bartender was shivering, his heart beating fast and sweat rolling down his temples. It was as if his body and mind didn’t like this place despite the good memories he had lived here. As if his subconscious was screaming him to run away from the university.
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know… I have lived wonderful moments here, I loved my lessons, my teachers, my friends… But I can’t explain why I feel so uncomfortable… It’s weird…”
“Yes. Let’s go, we haven’t found anything anyway.” Sho smiled and both left the room. “I have some patients this afternoon, do you want to come to my apartment tonight?”
“Why not? I work at the club but I’ll try to come after my shift.” Jun kissed his cheek and climbed in his car, impatient to leave the university and this so unpleasant sensation. Why did he feel like that? Does his old academy also hid him forgotten memories? Lost in his thoughts, Jun drove toward the host club and entered it without even greeting the security guards. “Let’s forget that for tonight.” Jun shook his head and changed his clothes before joining the bar where he found Ohno Satoshi waiting. He had totally forgotten their appointment and his promise to help him with Nino. ‘I really have to focus on something else than these fucking lost memories. They need me and Nino’s situation will get worse if I don’t help Ohno…’ Jun thought. Ohno really wasn’t in his element, it was clear this kind of place wasn’t his cup of tea at all and certainly even disgusted him. “Hi, a cocktail?”
“Yes, please.” Ohno blinked a bit, coming back to reality.
“Here you have.” Jun pushed a glass full of a yellow liquid in front of Ohno who blinked.
“Thank you.” Ohno swallowed the substance with suspicion before smiling. “Delicious!”
“It’s Nino’s favorite.” Jun winked. “I’m glad you finally called me. This baka is doing anything to forget you and I’m fed up to watch all this mess from my bar.”
“How is he?”
“Bad. He drinks too much, he sleeps with all the clients he has every night and I suspect him to take some drugs. Anytime I try to talk to him, he ignores me. And it’s not better when Aiba or Tomoya tries…”
“He ignores my calls and my messages…”
“That’s why I thought about a plan. If he loves this work so much, then, he shouldn’t say no to a new special client.” Jun grinned, staring at a lost Ohno who finally gasped.
“Oh no! Forget this idea, I won’t book him!” Ohno exclaimed.
“Why not?”
“I’m against this kind of work! I hate people like them…” Ohno showed the customers in the room. "Who cheat on their wives or take the host for their sex toys.”
“It’s the only way to talk to Nino. And to convince him.”
“Why would it work? At the second he will see my face, he will run away.”
“Not if the orders come from the big boss.” Jun winked.
“What do you mean?”
“I talked to Tomoya and he agreed to send Nino to a very special client’s house.”
“Nino knows where I live.”
“At a love hotel or elsewhere, c’mon, Ohchan -Ohno blinked at the nickname- do you want to have him back or not?” Jun rolled his eyes.
“I do…”
“Then, find a place where you want him to join you and text me. I’ll tell Tomoya where Nino will have to join you.”
“Okay…” Ohno sighed, not sure if this plan was going to work. “I guess I don’t have the choice…”
“We will keep in touch. And I don’t know a lot about your couple but maybe you could find things that Nino owned and that would make him believe you.” Jun smiled and started another drink when a customer sat next to Ohno.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hello, Sho-chan, why are you here, I was meant to join you after my shift, no?” Jun smiled softly.
“Well, I was too impatient to see you.” Sho blushed.
“Baka.” Jun laughed and turned toward Ohno who was staring at them with lost eyes. Okay, he had missed a chapter or what? Since when Jun was dating another man than Aiba? “Go, Nino’s shift starts in some minutes.”
*****
Yoshiro looked at the drawing in his hand and finally stopped to stare at the big university in front of him.
“So, it’s here. If I follow the map, the place with the cross should be…” Yoshiro gasped and froze, seeing a big painting on the wall. It showed an orchestra that looked like the same background than the one on the picture they found in the corpse’s hand. “Why did it lead me here? It must…” Yoshiro’s eyes widened. On the painting on the left was written I know everything with a small red apple. A ring made the man jump and taking his phone, Yoshiro answered. “Moshi moshi?”
“Inspector? We need you to come quickly, we have found the head of the mummy in a cemetery.”
“What?! And why are you sure it’s the good head?”
“Because someone called us to inform where the head was. We didn’t identify the person, though.”
“Wait, does the cemetery is next to a university of dance and music?”
“How do you know???!”
“I’m coming.” Yoshiro hung up and ran toward the place, finding his colleague next to a big hole with some policemen.
“It’s strange. It seems the grave also contained the corpse… Ah, I forgot to tell you that the laboratory sent us the picture.” Yoshiro took the photo and gasped.
“I know where we can find the painting behind them. I found it by chance when I came to the university next to the cemetery. You should go there to see by yourself.” Yoshiro left. Once far away from the place, the inspector took his phone. “Moshi moshi… It’s me. Yes, it’s been a while. We have a big problem… The case is going to be reopened. I’ll tell you everything but in a safe place.” Yoshiro whispered. “Okay, I’m coming.”
Yoshiro drove anxiously, wondering how he was going to deal with this mess. He hadn’t planned that someone would discover the truth and would force the police to investigate after all this time. If they found out what happened, he would also end in jail. The inspector parked his car and entered the small building quickly before knocking on a door.
“Hello, Yoshiro, it’s been a while.” The man on the sofa smiled.
“Yes and in other circumstances, I would have been happy to see you.” Yoshiro said nervously.
“Tell me.”
Yoshiro put the picture on the man’s lap. “Some days ago, a corpse has been found without its head. A mummy, to be exact. It held this picture. And guess what, an anonymous call told us where the head was.” The man in front of him paled.
“You mean…”
“Yes. This cemetery.”
“Shit…”
“You should inform him about the situation, it also concerns him.”
“I’ll take care of that. Thank you for telling me, try to cover the tracks.”
“I’ll do my best but with this picture, they’re going to come and interrogate them.”
“I’ll deal with the police. They have nothing, just a picture. Leave now before the person who found out the truth discovers you here.” The man stroked his face and took his phone. “It’s me. The case is going to be reopened. Be prepared. I’ll try to find who’s the responsible of this mess and I’ll kill him. Don’t worry, nobody will find out what happened. Be careful, someone is maybe following you.”
****
Walking down 29th and park
I saw you in another's arms
Only a month we've been apart
You look happier
Saw you walk inside a bar
He said something to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours
Yeah you look happier, you do
Aiba sat on the bench sadly, wondering why he was here, stalking his ex-lover like a jealous boyfriend. It was stronger than him, since the night he had spent with Jun some weeks ago, Aiba couldn’t stop but worry, knowing his ex-lover had to deal with these horrible nightmares. The host knew by heart how Jun was in these moments because it was him who had managed to appease them when they started going out together. He would never forget the first night they had spent together where Jun had screamed in his sleep. It wasn’t a banal scream like when you dreamt about spiders attacking you or someone killing you. This night, Jun’s scream had turned his blood to ice. There was so much despair and fear in Jun’s voice. The way he had implored, the way his body was shaking and sweating. As if he was living a horrible moment, a moment you wanted to forget for your whole life. After this night, Aiba had spent ton of hours rocking Jun’s shaking body, whispering him comforting words and stroking his wet hair. They had lived this hell together even if Jun had no idea why he was having these terrible nightmares. Luckily, after some months, Jun’s dreams suddenly stopped for Aiba’s biggest relief. But now they were separated, the host was having very bad nights, knowing his ex-lover was going through all this mess again and alone.
Well, not alone.
Because now, Jun had this annoying Sakurai who looked head over heels in love with him. It was maybe cruel but Aiba prayed that his ex-boyfriend would never feel the same.
“I’m so egoist. You look happy with him, I should let you go completely.” Aiba whispered, looking at Jun through the glass of the café. His ex-lover was talking and laughing with Sho, both lost in their own world.
Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody love you like I do
Promise that I will not take it personal baby
If you're moving on with someone new
Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you
“I had promised myself to let you go. But I’m pathetic, I can’t even let you to someone else. Why are we always meant to be separated? Why can’t we be together, happy? It’s unfair, we never deserved all this mess!!” Aiba cried, hitting the bench with his fist. “You maybe will find someone else than me. But nobody will ever be able to love you like I do, Jun. Nobody.” The host stood up and walked toward his car. What was he going to do? How was he going to do to live without Jun and to see him with someone else. “Should I die?” Aiba chuckled sadly, parking his car and walking toward his apartment, Yuki welcoming him happily. “Do you know what to do?” The host took the puppy in his arms, smiling when a wet tongue licked his cheek. Taking a beer, Aiba sat on the ground, staring at the room with sad eyes. There was so many memories in this apartment. Jun and him had chosen this place together and his lover had decorated himself, not caring about his opinion because he had bad tastes, like Jun often said to make fun of him.
Sat in the corner of the room
Everything's reminding me of you
Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier
Aren't you?
Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody need you like I do
I know that there's others that deserve you
But my darling I am still in love with you
Aiba drank another beer, looking at the big photography Jun had put on the wall. They had taken it at a barbecue during summer a long time ago. Nagase was there, preparing the meat while Jun and him where playing like two children, forgetting their problems for an afternoon. They looked so happy on the picture, Jun more beautiful than ever with this so special smile he had when everything around him made him happy and relax. His chocolate eyes were shining and staring lovingly at Aiba who had stuck their foreheads, their smiling mouths almost touching and Jun’s arms firmly wrapped around his neck. It was Nagase who had offered them this big photography and his lover hadn’t wait long before putting it on the wall of the living room.
“Our happiness…” Aiba cried silently. “Shit, I’m pathetic… Crying like a teenager after a break-up.” The host laughed, tears rolling down his cheeks even more. “If you hadn’t… we would be both together and happy…” Aiba dived his face in his hands, crying loudly.
But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you
Baby you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
But if he breaks your heart like lovers do
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you
“I think I have maybe found something interesting.” Sho said, swallowing his cup of coffee.
“Tell me, everything can be helpful.”
“After your start, I have made my own researches. And I have found this pamphlet.” Sho pushed the paper toward Jun who took it with a frown.
“The pamphlet for our Christmas show? I’m not sure I’ll be able to recognize this Haruki…”
“It’s okay, all these documents are here to help you remember. Even if it’s a little detail. You have danced for this show, no?”
“Yes. I had the main role… We have certainly taken this photo right after…”
“Okay, now, look at the list of the dancers.” Sho turned the page of the booklet. “There is Haruki’s name on it. He was also a dancer.” Jun gasped, his eyes widening. “And he had the second role of the show. Try to remember his face, you obviously worked for months with him… I made some researches and he was a student of your university but wasn’t on the list of the graduated.”
“Eh? How is it possible?”
“He has left the university before the final exams.”
“And you know why?”
“Because he is dead.” Sho threw a journal on the table, Jun taking it with a gasp.
A student of a dance academy found dead,
Crushed by a train.
Accident or suicide?
Haruki Terajima, student of a famous dance academy
Has been crushed by a train on Seibu Haijima’s line, near Tamagawa-Josui’s station.
It seemed he had passed the safety barrier.
No farewell letter has been found but the testimony of his friends said he was depressed since some days.
The police has concluded a suicide caused by an emotional shock following a romantic disappointment and has closed the case.
“An emotional shock? Caused by a romantic disappointment?” Jun’s face paled. “I really was… his boyfriend?” The bartender’s hands started to shake, sweat rolling down his pale face.
“Don’t make too quick conclusions.”
‘If it’s the case, it explains why Aiba and Nagase didn’t want to talk about him and my forgotten past. It means I have locked this year deep in my mind to stop the pain and the guilt I felt. My fear of men… These messages I wrote on the mirror… My nightmares… They all mean one thing… I have killed Haruki Terajima…’ Jun thought, diving his face in his shaking hands.
****
Some hours after the discovering of the mummy’s head, the man’s identity was found.
“After your start, a student card has been found next to the head. It’s a big chance. We are almost sure the famous mummy is a student. His name was Daichi Furukawa.” The policeman said to Yoshiro. It was you who was in charge of the investigation about Daichi Furukawa’s disappearance three years ago, no? It will be hard to tell his family their son has been found dead three years later…”
“Yes. When he disappeared, his mother did everything to convince us to keep the case open. For her, it wasn’t a runaway, his son was a brilliant dancer and had a bright future in this middle. But we had no lead so, we closed the case after one year of researches. He was over the age of majority, so, we couldn’t keep looking for him eternally. Mostly without any leads…”
“But the main question is why someone has decided to exhume the corpse three years later? It’s too weird…
“Don’t worry, I’ll find out the truth of this story.” Yoshiro replied before leaving his colleague alone.
****
Jun yawned, finishing the cocktail he was preparing, lost in his thoughts. He was lost. Completely lost. His nightmares were worse than ever, preventing him to sleep and driving him crazy. He had killed his ex-lover but there were still missing pieces in this fucking weird puzzle.
“Jun, are you okay?” Jun blinked and raised his eyes to see the worried face of his ex-lover.
“Ye-s… I was lost in my thoughts, that’s all.” Jun forced a smiled.
“You look exhausted…” Aiba stroked his cheek softly, making him shiver.
“I’m fine, don’t worry. Just tired. Here, your cocktail.” The bartender pushed the glass toward Aiba who took it.
“You should take some days off… to have some rest…”
“It wouldn’t change anything, I…” Loud voices cut him off and turning his head, Jun saw three men outside fighting, one of them holding a knife full of blood, the second man covering his bleeding arm with his hand while the third one was smirking.
Jun’s eyes widened, his body freezing.
“Stop it!!!” Someone yelled to the men.
Jun gasped, seeing blood everywhere on the walls, the ground and even on the counter.
“Stop it!!!” A voice screamed in his head.
Screams could be heard outside, people running away in panic. The man fell on the ground, his stomach bleeding under the two smirking men.
“Finish him!” The first one ordered.
“Okay, but hold him.”
Jun stared at the scene, paralyzed. It was as if time had stopped, preventing him to move and to scream. The man on the ground looked at him, holding out his hand to Jun before his eyes closed. Jun screamed, holding his head with both hands and falling on his knees. Why this scene seemed so familiar to him??? Why couldn’t he move to help the man? Why nobody ran to help him???
“Jun???!!!”
Jun opened his eyes, seeing a panicked Aiba above him shaking his body.
“Masaki?” Jun gasped, staring around him and seeing everybody looking at him with surprised faces. “The man!!! We have to help the man!!!”
“What do you mean? Which man?” Aiba helped him to stand up.
“The man outside! Two men stabbed him, you saw them too!!!” Jun ran toward the door and opened it before gasping. The street was calm, people walking peacefully and laughing. Jun looked down and didn’t see any stains of blood, as if they had disappeared.
“Jun, are you sure you’re okay?” Aiba asked softly. “We were talking and suddenly, you started to scream ‘Stop it!’ with a scared face…”
“But I saw these two men stabbing a guy…” Jun stroked his face. “I think I’m just tired…”
“I’ll take you home, you can’t work in this state…”
“It’s okay, I’ll take a taxi. You haven’t finished your shift…”
“But…”
“Tell Tomoya I didn’t feel well and left…” Jun grabbed his coat and left. Ten minutes later, he was in front of his old university, trying to understand what had happened. “It felt so real… I’m sure I saw these men killing this guy… Am I becoming crazy?” The bartender walked inside, joining the room where they made their shows. In all his nightmares, he ended here with this frightening atmosphere. Walking toward the scene, Jun shivered in fear. It wasn’t just a dream. If he remembered well, there was a big pit under the stage where the orchestra played when they danced. “The pit is here… it’s not just nightmares… this gloomy atmosphere, this smell of moldy… Yes…” Jun’s eyes widened. “This day, I was walking toward the pit, looking for someone… And then…” Jun gasped, holding his head painfully.
There was a man… A man who grabbed his arm… “Who are you?!!! Let me go!!!” Jun screamed but the man hit him, making him faint.
Jun opened his eyes and ran toward the control room, opening the door and gasping when a flash blurred his view. The bartender looked around him. He was alone but hadn’t imagined these pictures and this terrifying sensation.
“I have seen something I shouldn’t have…” Jun whispered. “A scene I have tried to forget desperately…”
*****
“And you didn’t tell me?! Are you stupid?!” The man yelled to the other one who lowered his head.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t know what to do…”
“Someone is digging the past… It’s bad. It’s happening again… If the police discovers what happened, it will be over for us… Be careful, you’re in danger too if the man who wants to expose the truth tries to kill all the persons of this day…”
“You too.”
“I know but I’m fine. Matsumoto is also in danger. He was here with us this day.”
“I’ll ask someone to protect him discreetly.”
****
“HELP ME!!!!”
“Don’t worry, Jun, it will be over soon.” The skeleton smirked. “You wanted it too, you should thank me instead of crying.”
“NOOOOOO!!!!” Jun screamed, opening his eyes, panting. His apartment was dark and silent, his bedsheets tangled around his body. “Again this nightmare…” Jun left his bed and walked to his bathroom, gasping when his eyes saw the mirror. I’m inside you. You’re inside me. The bartender ran toward the main door but found it locked like all the windows of his apartment. “No… Not again…” Jun lowered his eyes and screamed, seeing his hands covered of black felt tip.
To be continued…
A/N: Hiiii! See, I’ve managed to write this chapter quickly! To be honest, I wrote it in one go because I have loved to come back to my dear Junba <3 I missed them and it’s so exciting to write all these mysteries around them xD
I know some readers (yes, Andy, I’m mostly talking about you my dear :P) will kill me for this cut xD I thought I’d give you all the answers about Junba but I’m not a fan of Jun for nothing and my DoS side completely crushed my DoM side against a wall to force me to add one more chapter (yes, the next chapter won’t be an epilogue like I had planned but will be the last chapter and will conclude everything).
So, I’m deeply sorry for being so sadist but please, wait for the final chapter, it will be released next weekend J I hope you don’t get bored with this story and will follow it until its end, comments (even short ones) are always deeply <3<3<3<3<3 See you next week !!!
And お誕生日おめでとう大ちゃん <3<3<3<3<3