Comments | matschnake: A LETTER TO BELL SOUTH. FOR YOUR PERUSAL.

matschnake

A LETTER TO BELL SOUTH. FOR YOUR PERUSAL.

Jan 05, 2004 11:51

This is a copy of a letter that I'm mailing to Bell South tomorrow, in regards to a big-ass phone bill they sent me ( Read more... )

Comments 25

jonboi_net January 5 2004, 18:12:45 UTC

haha! If someone sent me a letter like that, I'd frame it! I'd also give it to my boss and ask for hazardous duty pay.

matschnake January 5 2004, 18:17:37 UTC

That's what I told Carrie...it's either going to be someone cool, and it will make their day, or I'll get sued.

jonboi_net January 5 2004, 18:19:00 UTC

I bet it'll be a little old lady that turns it over to Homeland Security. I think we're about to go Orange.

matschnake January 5 2004, 18:26:50 UTC

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

"Al Kaida is now using the postal service to terrorize senile old women into defecating themselves....oh the humanity!"

razzbaby January 5 2004, 19:45:58 UTC

i just wish for once, that if someone was to call me up, bitcing about their bill, they could use just half of the creativity and grammer skills your letter possessed. just one time.....please?

matschnake January 5 2004, 19:53:59 UTC

If you'd like, I can subscribe to a cell-phone account with you, and then default on the contract, then send you a similar letter.

razzbaby January 6 2004, 16:59:45 UTC

great! that would be wonderful!

juleegrl January 5 2004, 20:02:00 UTC

Unfortunately, at this time they do not require an aptitude test to get a cell phone. I have forwarded this suggestion to Stanley Sigman but so far I have not heard a response.

Thread 7

begme4luv January 6 2004, 16:44:08 UTC

It wasn't ballsy enough for you to air your cell number on your answering machine? Now you've got it and your home address blatantly posted on live journal? Mat, why don't you just go to www.someonepleasekillmewhileIsleepblissfullyunaware.com and sign up for the next available slot.

matschnake January 6 2004, 19:22:39 UTC

I'm not at all worried, because Carrie is usually sleeping beside me, and she sleeps with a loaded .45 under her pillow, cuz she's such a bad-ass.
And I don't care who calls me. They'll just get screened. I NEVER answer a number I don't recognize. And my outgoing messages are usually punishment enough to discourage anyone from calling back.
So there.
BTW, this is the second time you've warned me about this...which makes me think that maybe YOU are hatching some sort of devious plot to kill/stalk me. Keep in mind that your little post could become evidence at that drop of a hat, you crazy little freak.

begme4luv January 6 2004, 19:29:46 UTC

Oh, I'd completely forgotten just how excruciatingly long your messages can be.

matschnake January 6 2004, 19:41:51 UTC

See why I'm not worried? Hell, I practically dare people to call... since I'm not answering in the first place, and they won't survive my voicemail.

Thread 10

alikdoll January 7 2004, 06:22:17 UTC

our bellsouth bill is mystereously $5 more than it has been in the past...

azul_euphoria January 9 2004, 09:46:35 UTC

You're amazingly funny.

When I read the skull-fuck part, I started cracking up laughing. I've never seen it in such a serious letter before.

matschnake January 10 2004, 18:37:07 UTC

That's because most people heed the rules of courtesy, decency, and common sense.

azul_euphoria January 10 2004, 20:20:06 UTC

You're getting a mention in my next journal entry.
Aren't you excited?