[Video] Greed gives distasteful advice to young and old alike, and tries to see something naked.
[If Greed seems less spirited than usual, it’s probably just the nature of a private party to be more mellow. The Devil’s Nest is quiet and empty, besides Greed himself, but that's not so strange. After all, he’s wearing sunglasses indoors, has an extremely expensive looking, mostly emptied bottle of cognac and his side, a lineup glowing novelty shot glasses full of something no doubt equally high class, a pair of panties that are probably not his own slung over the arm of the couch, and a half smoked cigarette between his lips. He’s clearly enjoying himself to the fullest, even if by himself.]
Oi, Mechanic. [He considers calling her by name; 'Mechanic' was a habit from when he really couldn't remember her name. It’s nothing special; he couldn’t go on treating her like just the mechanic of two of his targets forever, right?] Winry. I got to thinkin’ today… Envy’s seen more of you naked than I have, ain’t he? That’s not right. This place has given a lotta free little shows, but besides yer boyfriend, the one who’s seen you the most naked’s definitely that freak. At the rate it’s going, this whole place’ll see you naked soon enough, but do you really want him to be the one out of us seven who’s gotten the best look at you? He’s already gone from here, you know. So you don’t know how long I’ll be around. A quick video. It’s not a favor to me or anything. It’d just be picking me over Envy. You don’t want anyone to lose to him, right? Any time he wins, we all lose. So, hurry up on that.
Of course if yer against that, you could do me another favor instead. If you wanna say the right to see you naked’s yer boyfriend’s, you can have him pay it out for you. He knows what I want. If he hands over that, I’d definitely never disappear and you could just wait until yer a shriveled little potato like yer grandma to get naked for me. Not getting my hopes up on those kids being reasonable, though…
Speakin’ of not gettin’ my hopes up.
J.D. You’re…[Because that pause is a little too awkward on its own, Greed takes a long, slow drag off of his cigarette to make it seem more deliberate.] … not coming back, are you? Well, even if you tried, you couldn’t, now.
Ah! That’s not me tryin’ to tell you you ain’t welcome! The place just really ain’t… that is…
I know what yer problem is, y’know. It’s just somethin’ I can’t fix, even if you think I can. It’s one of those things where if you gotta be told it to believe it, there’s no hope. It’s not somethin’ a person can believe just by being told, but I pretty much always liked you. There ya go. Even saying it, nothing’s any different, is it? Remember that when whatever other friends you make don’t just start gushing at you.
Of course, girls should just go ahead and say they like you. Girls are more into doing feelings like that. You oughtta make it your goal to get a real babe to fawn over you all the time. If you’re gonna be so damned bad at relationships with men like that, at least be smooth with the ladies, would’ja?
Speakin’ of ladies.
Kid with the big fucking messed up robot. Ikari.
Get drunk once in a while. For you, getting drunk when yer emotional’d actually be a real good idea. Get laid one of these days, too. Doesn’t matter if you do ‘em at the same time or what.
Speakin’ of getting drunk and laid. Pru-Iya, Prussia’s gone, ain’t he… Touchdown, too.
[After a pause in which he may or may not be considering addressing any relevant parties still 'there', he gives a snort, slams the cigarette into the ashtray and grinds with a vengeance. Once the ashtray and cigarette have been thoroughly taught who’s boss, he lets out a sharp breath, looks up and remembers the camera. Brandishing a sudden, cheap, overdone smile, he cuts the feed off.]
Oi, Mechanic. [He considers calling her by name; 'Mechanic' was a habit from when he really couldn't remember her name. It’s nothing special; he couldn’t go on treating her like just the mechanic of two of his targets forever, right?] Winry. I got to thinkin’ today… Envy’s seen more of you naked than I have, ain’t he? That’s not right. This place has given a lotta free little shows, but besides yer boyfriend, the one who’s seen you the most naked’s definitely that freak. At the rate it’s going, this whole place’ll see you naked soon enough, but do you really want him to be the one out of us seven who’s gotten the best look at you? He’s already gone from here, you know. So you don’t know how long I’ll be around. A quick video. It’s not a favor to me or anything. It’d just be picking me over Envy. You don’t want anyone to lose to him, right? Any time he wins, we all lose. So, hurry up on that.
Of course if yer against that, you could do me another favor instead. If you wanna say the right to see you naked’s yer boyfriend’s, you can have him pay it out for you. He knows what I want. If he hands over that, I’d definitely never disappear and you could just wait until yer a shriveled little potato like yer grandma to get naked for me. Not getting my hopes up on those kids being reasonable, though…
Speakin’ of not gettin’ my hopes up.
J.D. You’re…[Because that pause is a little too awkward on its own, Greed takes a long, slow drag off of his cigarette to make it seem more deliberate.] … not coming back, are you? Well, even if you tried, you couldn’t, now.
Ah! That’s not me tryin’ to tell you you ain’t welcome! The place just really ain’t… that is…
I know what yer problem is, y’know. It’s just somethin’ I can’t fix, even if you think I can. It’s one of those things where if you gotta be told it to believe it, there’s no hope. It’s not somethin’ a person can believe just by being told, but I pretty much always liked you. There ya go. Even saying it, nothing’s any different, is it? Remember that when whatever other friends you make don’t just start gushing at you.
Of course, girls should just go ahead and say they like you. Girls are more into doing feelings like that. You oughtta make it your goal to get a real babe to fawn over you all the time. If you’re gonna be so damned bad at relationships with men like that, at least be smooth with the ladies, would’ja?
Speakin’ of ladies.
Kid with the big fucking messed up robot. Ikari.
Get drunk once in a while. For you, getting drunk when yer emotional’d actually be a real good idea. Get laid one of these days, too. Doesn’t matter if you do ‘em at the same time or what.
Speakin’ of getting drunk and laid. Pru-Iya, Prussia’s gone, ain’t he… Touchdown, too.
[After a pause in which he may or may not be considering addressing any relevant parties still 'there', he gives a snort, slams the cigarette into the ashtray and grinds with a vengeance. Once the ashtray and cigarette have been thoroughly taught who’s boss, he lets out a sharp breath, looks up and remembers the camera. Brandishing a sudden, cheap, overdone smile, he cuts the feed off.]