Daunting Thoughts
College is becoming even more of a scary thought now, I didn't realise that the tutor groups were mixed with year 13s too, even more new people...older newer people. My tutor yesterday, she was saying how she didn't think it was a good idea that I did both sciences, because of my shitty 2 C's...n she says that it might be too hard...so I told her I was originally predicted 2 A's/B's but that I was ill during the exams...then she said that I might be ok. Then, college think that I should only do 3 AS because of my 'stress/depression/anxiety' malarky, n I told them where to stick that. I'm also re taking maths to get a B..so swatting up here we come, I doubt I'll manage it this November, because I'll need to get a tutor for a good few months, but I think they do one in January too? Then at the time of the other GCSEs. I think college think that I'm a time bomb and that if I get too stressed I'll blow up the whole college...or they just think I'm really weak. I can imagine the teachers calling me back after each lesson, asking me if I'm ok...I can do this, and I will...I'm doing the subjects that I want to do...so yeah. stuff them if they think that I can't do it, I'll be at those lunchtime sessions every day. Miss Determination here. Lunchtimes are gonna be so fucking hard :( in a way that's one of the only things that's really bugging me about going to college, because I know that it will be a similar case to last year, the year before etc etc..another reason for the lunchtime sessions, they'll stop me from having to eat in that bloody canteen thing, looking like a twat with my sandwiches. I'm not going to be anymore humiliated than I am already. No eating infront of complete strangers. Literally.