Is it too early to have moved on?
Things are better, and the future is looking bright. There's still a lot of work to get there, but there are some amazing and happy things to look forward to on the way. I've got a lot of problems to still sort out, more growing up to do (I've unfortunately been reacting to circumstances lately in a pretty immature and defensive way, and I'm not happy with myself for that), but I see where I'm going and at least some of the things I need to do to reach my goals.
Some of the current circumstances still irk me or make me a little sad, but overall I'm happy. I'm with someone who helps me find that happiness, someone who's ready to invest in me, someone who's just as ready to make the future happen as I am. It's a good fit, and it feels so nice to just feel like I not only have great goals but I'm progressing toward them and there's someone by my side who's on the same path and there to support and be supported by me.
Yes, it's all vague. Amazingly, I feel awkward even writing out the specifics of what's happened in the last few months in my journal. I feel too much like I need to explain myself, defend my actions and justify my thinking. As if I open up, someone will judge me and attack me or label me. I should know better. Or I should care less about that. I'm always so worried about what other people think of me.
How do I explain I found the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, someone who just as much wants to love me for the rest of my life, and it's not at all the man I was with at the beginning of summer? David is a very nice person, and I did love him, but I always knew that practically speaking it was doomed to end sooner or later, for a lot of reasons that I don't want to list out. It's not his fault, it's just that it wasn't a good match for either of us, even if it was a nice relationship while it lasted. It just lacked any future. It was just such awful timing for me to find something better when I did, and I wish things had gone a lot differently than how they did. But that kind of wishing about the past is useless, so now I just need to figure out what to do with the present instead.
Some of the current circumstances still irk me or make me a little sad, but overall I'm happy. I'm with someone who helps me find that happiness, someone who's ready to invest in me, someone who's just as ready to make the future happen as I am. It's a good fit, and it feels so nice to just feel like I not only have great goals but I'm progressing toward them and there's someone by my side who's on the same path and there to support and be supported by me.
Yes, it's all vague. Amazingly, I feel awkward even writing out the specifics of what's happened in the last few months in my journal. I feel too much like I need to explain myself, defend my actions and justify my thinking. As if I open up, someone will judge me and attack me or label me. I should know better. Or I should care less about that. I'm always so worried about what other people think of me.
How do I explain I found the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, someone who just as much wants to love me for the rest of my life, and it's not at all the man I was with at the beginning of summer? David is a very nice person, and I did love him, but I always knew that practically speaking it was doomed to end sooner or later, for a lot of reasons that I don't want to list out. It's not his fault, it's just that it wasn't a good match for either of us, even if it was a nice relationship while it lasted. It just lacked any future. It was just such awful timing for me to find something better when I did, and I wish things had gone a lot differently than how they did. But that kind of wishing about the past is useless, so now I just need to figure out what to do with the present instead.