MEME Day 4
MY SEVEN WANTS
1:I really want to just be 'functioning'... in other words be 'normal' in the head. It sucks that my brain has to be wired this weird way, craving loads of medicine in order to function just halfway correct.
2:I want to be happy... I remember once when I was on Xanax - for one week I actually noticed how beautiful the flowers were and how the sun shone... I was happy. Then the effect died. I think I am just chronically depressed. What I wouldn't give for happiness.
3:I want peace in this world.... so sick and tired of war, terrorism, famine etc etc..... Why can't we all just get along?? I just don't see why the world has to be so volatile and power hungry... aggressive and primal. *Sigh*... Stupidity rules I guess.
4:I want to have loads of money, LOL. Yea, money doesn't buy you happiness, but it sure buys loads of opportunities. I would spend that money just having fun, going out to dinner, showering my loved ones with gifts and so on... many dreams CAN come true with money, and I'm sick of being poor. But money sure doesn't fix everything.
5:I want to be healthy... I'd love to be fit and slim, but my routines and PCO syndrome and my medicine don't allow it at this time. And my total lack of self control doesn't help. I want a perfect body!! Haha, I know that will never happen, but I can dream, right??? Besides I don't want to die from heart disease, blood clots or cancer.... all of my grandparents died from some of the above.
6:I want to get rid of my fears and phobias... I'm tired of being inhibited in almost every situation. My mind always thinking of the worst possible outcome. I want to be uninhibited.... and free to process my surroundings without being scared.
7:I want more friends... my social skills are lacking to say the least, but I still dream of a more social and outgoing life. Friends are forever, unless they're assholes.... and I want to share my thoughts with someone besides by BF, discuss things, giggle and be stupid. But no pain no gain... I know I have to work in order to earn my friends - and it's not happening when I basically never leave my apartment.