Locked Entry
My padawan went out to dinner this evening with Bruck Chun. I imagine that he had many second and third thoughts about meeting with him - after all, Bruck and he did not exactly part friends the last they met, and of course, there is the association with Xanatos. Not exactly a combination of circumstances that inspires an easy feeling in an old Master's heart.
Obi-Wan is more dear to me than he knows, and I have deliberately kept it so - he still has a path to walk that ultimately he must finish alone. A Master guides, teaches, leads, and encourages. The bond between a Master and a Padawan is deep, and often produces an emotional relationship more profound than that between parent and child. Thus a Master must tread a fine line, especially as his Padawan becomes an adult. The knowledge that the child is not their own, combined with a deep affection and concern for his well-being, has produced more than one disastrous love-affair between Master and Padawan. It is a hazard that we face, one of the many potential problems involved in our training.
I believe that I truly love Obi-Wan. I have reason to believe that Obi-Wan also thinks he loves me. But until he is knighted and the bond is broken, and we are able to examine our feelings without the emotional burden of the Master/Padawan relationship, we cannot know if we love honestly.
I long for that day as I have never wanted anything in my life.
Obi-Wan is more dear to me than he knows, and I have deliberately kept it so - he still has a path to walk that ultimately he must finish alone. A Master guides, teaches, leads, and encourages. The bond between a Master and a Padawan is deep, and often produces an emotional relationship more profound than that between parent and child. Thus a Master must tread a fine line, especially as his Padawan becomes an adult. The knowledge that the child is not their own, combined with a deep affection and concern for his well-being, has produced more than one disastrous love-affair between Master and Padawan. It is a hazard that we face, one of the many potential problems involved in our training.
I believe that I truly love Obi-Wan. I have reason to believe that Obi-Wan also thinks he loves me. But until he is knighted and the bond is broken, and we are able to examine our feelings without the emotional burden of the Master/Padawan relationship, we cannot know if we love honestly.
I long for that day as I have never wanted anything in my life.