I'm Watching You [4/8]
anonymous
April 8 2012, 21:05:05 UTC
But he was in the perfect position to find out, right now. His hand hovered above the controls for far longer than it was supposed to before he rewound the feed to half an hour earlier, before he’d gone out. He passed Cam3, already dressed up, and looked at Nihlus, who was eating.
“What?” Nihlus said through a full mouth.
“That’s disgusting,” week-ago Saren replied, frowning. What was that all about?
Nihlus just rolled his eyes. “I had the same thing an hour ago. And it’s all dry. Why should I wash it?”
Ah. The plate. Nihlus made a habit of reusing his dishes. Many times over. Saren didn’t like that. But here and now, he thought it no more than slightly annoying; certainly not disgusting. It was like he had been provoking Nihlus on purpose. But why would he do that? He had no memory of the incident at all, so it wasn’t something that Nihlus had done to unnerve him - that he’d remember.
“You’re a mess,” had been his reply a week ago, and it was delivered in such a taunting, condescending tone that Saren winced. If someone were to speak to him that way they’d lose all their teeth. Perhaps their tongue too.
“Fuck you very much,” Nihlus said with a fixed smile that Saren knew all too well. But obviously he hadn’t registered anything wrong with it then, and had just walked to the airlock. This time, when he heard Nihlus call, “Have fun!” he knew what the strange subharmonics meant: you might as well stay out.
Saren crossed his arms over his chest. I’m an obnoxious fuck, he concluded. Nothing new, of course, but it was supposed to work on demand, and only on people who deserved no better. Which was to say, on the overwhelming majority, but still. There was something rotten about this and now he felt that if he kicked at it, his foot would go right through the weak spot and into his own mangled flesh below.
Nihlus deserved better than that.
He gritted his teeth and fast-forwarded again until he caught Nihlus standing in front of the still projection. He delivered the line for the third time, and for the third time, it made Saren swallow hard through a dry throat. “You’re a waste of time, Kryik. Look at you. Talking to yourself? Watching me shed blood instead of whatever normal people watch to get off? That’s sick. That’s fucking sick.”
Nihlus remained motionless for a time, hands covering face, breathing loud enough for Saren to hear from the recording. Finally he disconnected his datapad and returned to his cot. He didn’t lie down; he threw himself on it, face down, like a lifeless corpse. For some seconds he didn’t move a muscle, and Saren was about to fast-forward further, thinking he had fallen asleep, but then he caught motion and stopped. He couldn’t quite see what Nihlus was doing. Perhaps he was asleep, and was having a very vivid dream? Saren cocked his head to the side for better perspective. Maybe he was scratching.
Yeah, right, said Nihlus’ voice in the back of his mind. Saren tried to brush it away, but it wouldn’t go. Come on, Saren. Be a man and admit it. Sure this isn’t what you expected to see… but it’s what you hoped to see, isn’t it?
“What?” Nihlus said through a full mouth.
“That’s disgusting,” week-ago Saren replied, frowning. What was that all about?
Nihlus just rolled his eyes. “I had the same thing an hour ago. And it’s all dry. Why should I wash it?”
Ah. The plate. Nihlus made a habit of reusing his dishes. Many times over. Saren didn’t like that. But here and now, he thought it no more than slightly annoying; certainly not disgusting. It was like he had been provoking Nihlus on purpose. But why would he do that? He had no memory of the incident at all, so it wasn’t something that Nihlus had done to unnerve him - that he’d remember.
“You’re a mess,” had been his reply a week ago, and it was delivered in such a taunting, condescending tone that Saren winced. If someone were to speak to him that way they’d lose all their teeth. Perhaps their tongue too.
“Fuck you very much,” Nihlus said with a fixed smile that Saren knew all too well. But obviously he hadn’t registered anything wrong with it then, and had just walked to the airlock. This time, when he heard Nihlus call, “Have fun!” he knew what the strange subharmonics meant: you might as well stay out.
Saren crossed his arms over his chest. I’m an obnoxious fuck, he concluded. Nothing new, of course, but it was supposed to work on demand, and only on people who deserved no better. Which was to say, on the overwhelming majority, but still. There was something rotten about this and now he felt that if he kicked at it, his foot would go right through the weak spot and into his own mangled flesh below.
Nihlus deserved better than that.
He gritted his teeth and fast-forwarded again until he caught Nihlus standing in front of the still projection. He delivered the line for the third time, and for the third time, it made Saren swallow hard through a dry throat. “You’re a waste of time, Kryik. Look at you. Talking to yourself? Watching me shed blood instead of whatever normal people watch to get off? That’s sick. That’s fucking sick.”
Nihlus remained motionless for a time, hands covering face, breathing loud enough for Saren to hear from the recording. Finally he disconnected his datapad and returned to his cot. He didn’t lie down; he threw himself on it, face down, like a lifeless corpse. For some seconds he didn’t move a muscle, and Saren was about to fast-forward further, thinking he had fallen asleep, but then he caught motion and stopped. He couldn’t quite see what Nihlus was doing. Perhaps he was asleep, and was having a very vivid dream? Saren cocked his head to the side for better perspective. Maybe he was scratching.
Yeah, right, said Nihlus’ voice in the back of his mind. Saren tried to brush it away, but it wouldn’t go. Come on, Saren. Be a man and admit it. Sure this isn’t what you expected to see… but it’s what you hoped to see, isn’t it?
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