FILL: fShep/Garrus - Unknown Side Effect 1/?
anonymous
April 25 2012, 22:24:56 UTC
(A/N: Decided to give this a try. This anon hasn't had kids, so she can only write of pregnancy through what she's gathered from other “sources” - media, family, general research, etc. Warnings: Spoilers for at least the first half of ME3. TRIGGER warning for stillbirth. Sure, that gives away what's going to happen, but I think it's fair to put that out there sooner rather than later. Don't expect too much happy because of it.)
~~~~~~
Shepard reached forward to graze her fingers and palm over the scaring on Garrus's face. Garrus leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. Neither of them were sure who had made the first move, but Shepard's other hand was gripping the front bowl of his armor and Garrus's hands were around her waist, and they were closing the distance between them. Garrus could feel the warmth of Shepard's breath against his chin as he dipped his head towards her.
And it was in that position that they froze, limbs wrapped around each other, but still not able to close the gap between their mouths, as EDI informed them that Cortez was ready with the shuttle.
Shepard stepped back from Garrus with a feigned smile. “Guess we'll have to catch up later.”
Garrus wanted to retort that this wasn't exactly going to go anywhere since they both knew that they only had a few minutes to spare before they had to beat Cerberus to a bomb planted on Tuchanka. But it was nice for the small moments that they were together. He had wanted to give her time and not pressure her about “them”, but he was sure to gently remind her that we was still interested - more than interested. He needed her.
Distractions be damned, Garrus grabbed Shepard's shoulder to turn her towards him again before she triggered the main battery's door controls. He hooked an armored finger under her chin, tipping her her face up and back. It happened in mere seconds, but Garrus bent slightly to touch his mouth to her lips, pulling away before either of them tried to take it further.
Shepard watched him walk out of the main battery, touching her lips with her fingers as a shade of pink ghosted over her cheeks. Damn war, was her forefront thought. She didn't know what sort of future there would be with this war going on, but she hoped it was one that included Garrus.
Her stomach clenched almost painfully when she considered that some of them might not make it through this war. Shepard breathed in deeply, trying to calm her nerves before she left the room to join Garrus in the elevator.
Unknown Side Effect 2a/?
anonymous
April 26 2012, 00:17:20 UTC
~~~~~~
“Get behind something!” Garrus shouted as he, Shepard, and Liara made a mad dash out of the shuttle onto the exploding battlefield.
“Keep your heads down!” Shepard responded, tucking her back up against a large chunk of rubble. She fired a few quick shots at the Cerberus trooper trying to sneak up on her before curling back into the cover to avoid the bullets whizzing by. She bit back a groan at the sudden pain in her abdomen. Placing her hand on her stomach, she checked her armor for any cracks or dents, wondering if she had been hit. Everything seemed fine, and the pain was gone fairly quickly. Cursing at the grenade that landed at her feet, Shepard threw herself over the rock and ran to a nearby generated shield.
Push forward, push Cerberus back.
Garrus looked her way for a moment, hiding behind another piece of rubble next to her. “We've got to move, Shepard.”
She knew that! Shepard shot him a sour face with creased eyebrows. Turning away from Garrus, she looked for Liara, catching sight of a blue head peeking out from a spot behind them. Liara caught her gaze and followed through to run for a fallen pillar when Shepard gave her a hand motion to get closer.
Running for cover to avoid the massive explosions happening all around them while trying to pick off Cerberus troops was no easy task. It was made more difficult with the appearance of a turret set up right where Shepard wanted to move to. She had to signal for Liara and Garrus to overload the shield generators while she sneaked into a hole and grabbed the engineer before the turret could register her.
Together, they were able to rush past the remaining Cerberus troops. Victus's men could handle the rest. Shepard leaned heavily against a crumbling wall, sucking in a hissed breath as pain again crawled from her back to her front.
“Shepard, we need to keep moving,” Garrus told her as he looked around the corner for potential threats. He turned back to her when he heard her suck in a pained breath. He was at her side immediately, touching her arm and leaning close to her. “Are you hurt?”
Shepard shook her head, smiling up at him. “I'm fine.” When he didn't step away from her, she sighed. “Just some cramping or something. Nerves maybe.” She pushed herself from the wall, standing up straight and putting her arms out to her sides. “See? I'm good. Let's go.” Shepard didn't miss the frown that Liara shot her before she turned away to jog up the ramp.
Victus called out over the radio, “Once we've reached the bomb, I'll need to reprogram the trigger mechanism.”
Unknown Side Effect 2b/?
anonymous
April 26 2012, 00:52:39 UTC
More Cerberus troops were around the corner. Shepard signaled for Liara to take care of the shield generator while she ducked, crouched, and rolled her way to the right flank with Liara to pick off of the engineer. The bastard had already set up a turret, so Shepard ordered Garrus to overload it, and she broke through its armor with a few well-placed bullets.
“Affirmative!” “Got it.” “Get into cover.” “Go, go, go!” Shouts rang out from both sides as more Cerberus tried to take up the slack of their lost comrades. Not that they could really call each other comrades. That seemed too human for the hollowed-out versions of these people.
Finally, the group got a short reprieve from fighting when those enemies were cleared out as well. Shepard was still hurrying to get to the bomb. Fixing someone else's problem was the story of her life. It was bad enough that the turians wouldn't help unless they got help from the krogan and the krogan wouldn't help unless they got a cure for the Genophage, but now they all find out that the turians had put a bomb on the krogan's planet as a back-up measure.
Garrus spoke up behind her, seeming to mirror her thoughts. “We defeat the krogan and then plant a bomb on their planet. Pretty extreme, but those were desperate times.”
Shepard nodded, putting her arm out to grab the ledge in front of her and boost herself up the uneven surface. Her boosting didn't go as coordinately as she had planned though when another cramp seized her stomach and her arm gave out. She grunted in pain and surprise as she crumpled half on the ledge.
“Shepard!” Liara and Garrus cried out in alarm simultaneously. Liara crouched beside Shepard, one hand on her shoulder, while Garrus took the soldier role of scanning for any enemies that might be headed their way after their outburst.
Shepard put out her hand to ward Liara off, and she rolled over onto her back, legs dangling over the edge. She took a moment to catch her breath before she let Liara help her back to her feet.
“What's going on, Commander?” Liara asked, not letting go of her CO's hand.
“I'm fine,” was all Shepard said.
Garrus was looking up in front of them, and without turning to face her, he said, “You didn't just trip and double over in pain for no reason, Shepard.”
Shepard groaned and took her hand back from Liara. “I don't know what's going on. More cramping again.”
“Again?” Liara looked the way they came, visually clearing their rear. She lifted her arm to tack something into her omni-tool. “Should we check for -”
“No,” Shepard said as she pushed Liara's arm back down. “We don't have time for a scan. I'll change my medi-gel dispenser as we go.” She walked up the slanted ground that was probably the side of a building. “If I get any more cramps or whatever's going on, that should cover the pain. It's only happened a few times.”
Garrus and Liara exchanged a worried glance, but followed their commander anyway.
Unknown Side Effect 3a/?
anonymous
April 26 2012, 02:02:37 UTC
~~~~~~
There were only a few more groupings of Cerberus soldiers before they realized that the enemy was preparing to leave. There was a ramp up ahead that Liara pointed out would be a good spot to see what was going on. Shepard thought that she felt another cramp coming on, but the medi-gel acted as a pain reliever to push it down as an uncomfortable pressure.
They reached an open area which revealed the enormous bomb that had been hidden underground before Cerberus had dug it up. Victus radioed to let them know that his team had reached the bomb site and were moving to the control station. Shepard replied that they were on their way before climbing up the ladder that seemed to be the only way to go.
The path to the bomb wrapped them around and into more buildings.
“With Cerberus evacuating, the bomb should be clear,” Liara said.
Garrus disagreed. “I don't think so. I'm guessing they'll bring out the big guns.”
Shepard flinched at the sound of a small explosion that may have been from a shuttle up ahead. She jogged ahead to indeed see a shuttle disappearing from the gaping hole in the ceiling. Her stomach ached again, and she was genuinely starting to be concerned that they might be getting worse.
Down another broken wall and around the corner proved Garrus to be correct. Shepard had enough time to see a few Cerberus soldiers fleeing before she realized that there were multiple turrets set up in the next room. No way to go around them, but Shepard, Garrus, and Liara were far enough away for now that the heavy weapons didn't register their movements.
There was a fallen pillar just in front of the turrets and she needed to get Liara and Garrus close enough so that they could overload them. She couldn't see any other cover for them to creep through the room little by little.
“Garrus. Liara.” Shepard looked at them sternly then pointed to the fallen pillar. “I'll provide you cover fire and a distraction. I need you to follow in behind me and make for that pillar.” She raised a hand to cut them off before either of them could protest. “Overload them whenever you have a chance.”
Shepard ran into the room, guns literally blazing as she bee-lined for the pillar. She didn't feel the assault of the turrets until her shields were throwing out warning signals. Her shields faltered and were gone altogether just as she rolled to flatten herself against the cover of the pillar. There was a delay in the medi-gel and she gritted her teeth to the agonizing pain radiating from her stomach, shooting down her legs and up her spine. It was only a moment, but it left her gasping.
Garrus and Liara were crouching beside her, having taken care of the turrets. She gave them a thumbs up in answer to their questioning gaze. Shepard shakily stood up, careful to not show any outward signs of a struggle. The bomb controls were just around the corner; she didn't have time to sit around and hope that her sporadic cramping would go away.
It could have been something bad that she ate, severe gas, or menstrual cramping - but her's had never been so bad before. She wondered if something had hit her after all and if it was causing a pinched nerve. If the cramping had been constant, she probably could just drown it with medi-gel and grit her teeth to bear with it, but they'd been catching her off-guard and the surprise was making her want to roll over and curl up into a ball.
Shepard looked out of the building to the shuttle flying away when Garrus shouted, “Damn it! Cerberus has a head start.”
“We're close. Come on,” Shepard urged them, rushing through the hall and trying to hurry down the ladder before she could be caught with cramping again. She stilled at bottom to let a dulled ache wash over her.
Liara grabbed Shepard by the wrist when she was down the ladder. “I can't keep watching your vitals during combat, Commander.” She let go of Shepard to flick through her omni-tool. “I'm patching you in to Dr. Chakwas.”
Unknown Side Effect 3b/?
anonymous
April 26 2012, 02:21:23 UTC
“I'm at the control panel,Commander,” Victus told her via comm, tapping on the console just up ahead.
Shepard jogged the rest of the way to Victus's team, letting Liara do the talking with the medical doctor. Her own omni-tool lit up for a brief moment, a sign that Chakwas was connecting with her to watch the vitals that Liara couldn't anymore.
Victus continued when Shepard joined him. “Cerberus set up a firewall around the trigger mechanism to slow us down. I need to create a bypass. That'll take time, but like you said, 'no trigger, no explosion'.”
“We'll make sure you have the time you need, Lieutenant,” Shepard offered.
“Understood. Starting bypass. And,” Victus turned to regard Shepard, “thank you for making sure I get this chance.”
Shepard nodded. “Just make it right, soldier.”
The turian to Shepard's right grunted and fell to the ground, the sound of a bullet whizzing by catching Shepard's attention. Shepard turned and hid behind the nearest cover. Another turian was sniped and fell beside Victus.
“Look out!” someone warned.
Victus shouted over his shoulder while still inputting commands on the console in front of him. “Commander!”
“Focus on the bomb,” Shepard commanded him. “We'll handle Cerberus.” She jumped over the pile of rubble into the area below as Cerberus troops were heard shouting.
“Shepard blocking access. All units engage.”
“Nobody gets past us. Clear?” Shepard ordered Garrus and Liara, pressing her back to the crumbling wall.
“Clear,” Liara responded, running around the wall to the right.
Garrus didn't respond, instead watching a tremble wrack Shepard's body. The woman was unaware that he was watching her as her eyes were closed to only half-dulled pain. Garrus put his hand on her shoulder, dropping his head to her forehead. Shepard gasped at the sensation of him invading her space.
“And you won't move from this spot,” Garrus rumbled, forcefully but gently keeping her pinned against the wall. “Liara and I have got this. Catch the strays that might sneak behind us.”
“But -” Shepard started, wanting to push him away.
Garrus jumped away from her, dashing around the corner to join Liara in the fray. “Please. Jane.” He implored her quietly over the comm.
That wasn't the soldier Garrus that she had heard attempting to insubordinate his commanding officer into staying put. Her given name was reserved for the bedroom, when he was her friend and lover. Shepard clutched her rifle to her chest, hearing his voice pleadingly whisper her name again. He had never said it quite like that before.
Shepard didn't have too much time to think on it as a Cerberus trooper did manage to find his way past Garrus and Liara. She filled him full of bullets before he could react to her presence. Gravity pulled him to the ground when his legs gave out, and Shepard shot one more bullet into his skull, just to be sure.
As Shepard stayed tucked behind that wall, shooting anything that she could see while peeking around the corner, she started to loose count of the number of aches that shot through her. They started to come sooner and build in intensity, aching turning again into pain as she started to run low on medi-gel and it gave her a lower dosage to prolong the supply in her suit.
Unknown Side Effect 3c/?
anonymous
April 26 2012, 02:40:42 UTC
“Atlas!” Garrus yelled after Victus called for more time.
Shepard caught sight of a heavy weapon that had been left on the ground - it looked like a Hydra. She scrambled out of cover to grab it and threw herself behind a pillar for cover. Garrus and Liara shouldn't have to take care of that thing alone. Thank God for thrown-out weapons.
She stepped out of cover so that the weapon could target the Atlas clanking its way towards Liara, and she started to charge it. The Hydra shot a blast like a cannon that threw Shepard to the ground as her abdomen clenched and pain sprouted again. She wheezed, trying to sit up and crawl back into cover.
Liara and Garrus shouted at her. Even Chakwas spoke up on her comm, “Commander.”
“I'm okay,” Shepard said over the radio, sitting and wiping sweat from her brow with an armored wrist. “I'm in cover.” She looked over her shoulder to see troops dropping out of a shuttle on the far left of the area. “How we doing, Lieutenant?”
“Overriding the bypass now, Commander,” Victus replied, strain and worry laced in his voice.
Shepard's omni-tool blinked and flashed a red warning that Liara required medical attention. She realized that Liara was directly underneath the shuttle. What the hell is she doing over there? Shepard thought, pushing the key that would disperse medi-gel in Liara's suit. Her tool just beeped negatively at her. “Garrus!” Shepard shouted on the comm. “I can't get her. I'm all out of medi-gel.”
Garrus growled, “Shit! You've been using that much?!”
“I... I hadn't noticed. Just go get her!” Shepard tried to give him cover fire as he ran and rolled his way to Liara, but the pain was back, reeking havoc on her insides. She focused on breathing, ignoring the pain; Garrus had to get to her.
Garrus slammed his bayonet on the end of his rifle into the trooper about to smash in Liara's head. He went back for Liara, pressing a medi-gel pack into the slot on her wrist that would manually disperse it. Liara groaned and rolled over, throwing a Singularity at the man trying to sneak up on Garrus.
Shepard watched them take on the last two remaining Cerberus soldiers. She could only wish that more weren't sent in.
“Commander! Firewall's down. I'm in!”
Shepard sighed in relief to hear Victus say that. She slowly stood, shaky on her feet as the constant barrage of cramping and pain was wearing her out. She winced at Victus cursing over the comm, informing her that Cerberus had hacked the mechanism and it was set to detonate. How much time? “Disarm it,” she told him uselessly, near-limping her way to him.
“No time,” was the answer he gave her. “I have to separate the trigger from the bomb. Now!”
Liara was still shooting at the few Cerberus troops dropping in, but Garrus helped Shepard onto the ledge with Victus before he returned to Liara.
“Cover me,” Victus said. He looked up at the bomb, made a decision, and grabbed the ladder on one of its supports to crawl to the top.
Shepard could only sit and watch as Liara and Garrus kept Cerberus back and Victus did something at the very top of the bomb to keep it from going off. She curled her hand into a fist against the wall beside her and whined in frustration over yet another painful cramp hitting her. She was a soldier; she was supposed to fight through pain like this. It wasn't the worst pain she had ever felt, but she had never felt anything like it before.
A loud clank behind her made her twist around to see Victus hanging off of a latch at the top. “Lieutenant!” She cried out, trying to stand, but the exertion was too much.
“Victory, at any cost,” Victus told her on the radio, his voice quiet and calm.
She watched him pull a tube from the latch, and the whole thing jolted. It happened in slow motion before her eyes as Victus couldn't hold on and the latch detached from the body of the mechanism. Victus fell. The latch fell. And finally, the whole mechanism fell, revealing the now inactive round bomb hanging up above.
Shepard screamed, curling into a ball on the ground there. Loosing Tarquin, the Primarch's son, had not been part of the mission. Her, unable to do anything about it had not been part of the mission.
Unknown Side Effect 3d/?
anonymous
April 26 2012, 03:04:00 UTC
“Cortez, the shuttle!” Garrus called, his voice in her comm. “Now!”
Shepard let Garrus gather her into his arms. She didn't have to fight it anymore, so she pressed her face against the heated metal of Garrus's armor. She couldn't sleep or relax because the pain kept coming. Someone should knock her out with a sedative when she got back on the ship.
Garrus arranged her with the help of Liara on a bench so that she was laying on her back with her knees propped up. Garrus sat down on one end of the bench and pillowed a blanket under her head. Liara sat on the other end, resting her hand on Shepard's foot up on the bench.
Chakwas started shouting orders and questions the moment Shepard was settled, telling Cortez to move his ass like it was on fire. “I can't do any scans while Shepard's off of the ship. Her vitals have been shooting up at particular points. You should have gotten her out of there sooner. What sort of pain is she in? You said cramping?”
Shepard sucked in a breath and held it to let the pain of another spasm wash over her. Garrus ran his hand through her hair, using an untucked portion of the blanket to wipe away sweat beading on her face.
Liara answered Chakwas. “Yes, she's only said it feels like cramps. She's been favoring her stomach when it happens. Can we sedate her? She seems to be in a lot of pain.”
Yes, blessed relief. Shepard thought as she tipped her head back to enjoy the moment of calm before her body was on fire again.
“No, that might not be wise. What does it feel like, Commander?” Chakwas asked. “Where exactly do you feel the pain?”
“It - I think it starts in my back,” Shepard responded. “Moves to the front. My stomach. Pressure and cramping. It starts to hurt all over.” She gritted her teeth at more seizing pain. “God, it - it feels like... like I'm giving birth. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Yes, well, Commander,” Chakwas paused, the comm going quiet. “When was your last physical?”
“My last physical?” Shepard started to wrack her brain. “I had drug tests done while I was incarcerated. But a full scan hasn't... well, I haven't gotten one since I was with Cerberus. Miranda did one right after we destroyed the Collector's base.”
“Noticed any illnesses while you were incarcerated? Anything out of the ordinary?” Chakwas continued.
“Why is that important?” Shepard gasped.
“Until I get you back on the Normandy, I can't be certain, Commander. You may, in fact, be giving birth.”
“You're joking,” Shepard nearly laughed, covering her eyes with her hand. “That's the best idea you can come up with?”
“I'm completely serious, Commander.” And Chakwas sounded completely serious.
Shepard tilted her head back to look up at Garrus staring down at her. His hand had stilled in her hair and his eyes were hard as he returned her gaze. “That's impossible,” she whispered. Pain lanced through her belly again, and she clenched her hand around the edge of the bench at her side.
“I was never sick,” Shepard went through her pregnancy symptom list in her head when the pain subsided. “I haven't gained any - my stomach isn't huge! I haven't slept with - God, there hasn't been a human man since Kaidan years ago.”
“These spikes in your vitals have been growing closer and closer together,” Chakwas told her. “Seeing from my end, I can assume that the intensity of the pain has gotten worse since they first started. They are reading like contractions during a birthing would.”
Shepard had nothing to say to that; she was completely flabbergasted by the notion. Garrus didn't seem to have anything to say either.
Unknown Side Effect 3e/?
anonymous
April 26 2012, 03:07:09 UTC
Liara touched Shepard's knee, and asked softly, “Do you feel pregnant, Shepard?”
“No, I don't.” For one of the few times in her life, Shepard felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. “That's something you'd think I'd notice. Nothing. No swelling belly. I haven't felt... anything inside of me, moving around. No one's noticed me glowing?”
“Glowing?” Garrus looked down at her with a crooked browplate.
Liara shook her head. “It's a human, uh, metaphor or something. Pregnancy makes a woman seem to glow with, well, happiness, you know, emotions. Makes her seem all the more beautiful.”
“You still look beautiful to me,” Garrus said, returning to his ministrations of running his hand through her hair.
The feel of his fingers against her scalp was oddly relaxing, and Shepard smiled. She was about to tell him how silly that sounded, but she was cut off with that cramping pressure of pain that might possibly be a contraction.
“We're almost there, Commander,” Cortez's voice projected from the driver's seat.
Shepard had a break in cramping, and she placed a curious hand on her stomach. She couldn't feel anything with her armor on though. She started undoing clasps, removing her gauntlets and gloves. Garrus and Liara picked up on what she was doing, and without prompt, starting helping her remove her armor.
She was down to her undersuit and the armored plates on her thighs when she waved her arms and shouted for the other two to stop. “Uh, Chakwas? I...” Shepard didn't know how to explain the sudden sensation she felt of liquid trickling down her inner thigh. “I may have... peed in my armor?”
“Does it smell like urine?”
“It's trapped in my undersuit. I can't smell it.” Shepard unhooked and unzipped the top of the suit, folding it down to her waist so that she was sitting in a small white tank top.
“Try to stop it,” Chakwas suggested.
“Stop it?”
“Clench. Stop yourself from urinating.”
Shepard did as she was told, trying to “hold it in”, but the trickle of liquid didn't stop. Luckily, the suit was already absorbing the fluid to put it into a waste receptacle with her sweat. “That didn't do anything.”
The shuttle stopped and Chakwas stepped into the vehicle when the door opened. “All speculation still, but if you are going through labor, that's a pretty sure indication that your just water broke.”
~~~~~~
(A/N: That's all I've got for now. Not sure when I'll have free time to write again. I was on a roll today.)
Re: Unknown Side Effect A!A
anonymous
April 26 2012, 03:47:11 UTC
A!Anon here. Yeah, I'm looking forward to writing it, but at the same time, almost dreading it. The slight excitement growing for the characters when they realize that this is real, only to be shot down... I'm hoping I can convey everything alright.
Re: Unknown Side Effect 3e/?
anonymous
April 28 2012, 23:12:22 UTC
Having just gone through a miscarriage, I appreciate the warning, but I have to say this story is enthralling and endearing in some very strange ways.
Please keep writing. Garrus' reactions are so familiar. The gender seperation in moments like these are absolutely profound and you're conveying that and the love and affection and concern perfectly.
Unknown Side Effect A!A here
anonymous
May 1 2012, 01:41:21 UTC
Not sure when I'll get a chance to continue writing this. I started it up thinking I'd have like another week before we had to move apartments, but we got an ok at a place, and I had to start packing the very next day. Still unpacking here at the new place, and I'm still busy with general things that come with moving. Don't have my computer set up yet (using the fiance's), so the moment I find my (paper) notebook, I'll start writing in it.
Any suggestions are welcome. And I'm so pleased to see that some of you are enjoying it, despite what's to come.
Unknown Side Effect 4a/?
anonymous
May 1 2012, 17:09:24 UTC
~~~~~~
Shepard was rushed up to the med bay, Liara and Garrus taking off the rest of her armor while they were in the elevator. Chakwas was giving Shepard a full body scan with her omni-tool as Shepard threw on the loose medical gown that was handed to her.
Chakwas nodded, looking over the three-dimensional hologram of Shepard's body hovering over her omni-tool. "As I suspected, you're with child, Commander."
"But -" Shepard started before a contraction hit her and she gritted down on her teeth.
Garrus rested his hand on Shepard's shoulder and looked at Shepard's model. "I'm... no expert on human, or, well, pregnancies in general, but I thought that humans get swelled bellies when they're pregnant." He rolled one hand out in front of him to mime the shape of an enlarged stomach.
"That's true, Garrus," Chakwas told him, eyes still on the model. "Some women don't gain much weight at all though, so there might not be any outward signs of a pregnancy."
Shepard lifted up her gown, her modesty not a factor at this point as she flashed them her white underwear. She pressed her hand to her stomach. "I did gain some weight while I was incarcirated. I thought it was just from my inactivity." When she looked at it long enough, she could see a slight roundness to her abdomen that she couldn't excuse away as just some extra pounds she put on.
"Calculating the approximate time the child was conceived, you were pregnant the entire time you were locked up with the Alliance," Chakwas looked down at Shepard in the wheelchair. "Why did no one give you a physical while you were there?"
Shepard frowned, looking over at the edge of the elevator where a Cerberus logo used to be before the Alliance painted over it. "I was afraid they'd want to do more than just examine me. After Cerberus brought me back, I... I still don't know the extent of what they had to do. I don't really want to know."
She groaned at the feel of another contraction, wrapping her fists around the armrests of the wheelchair. The elevator pinged open, and Chakwas squatted down in front of Shepard.
"Shepard," she said, placing her hand on top of Shepard's fist, "breathing will help."
Shepard looked forward to Chakwas with creased brows as she fought through the pain.
"Quick breaths in. Long breath out." Chakwas breathed in that fashion, taking two short breaths in with a 'he, he' sound, and then she breathed out slowly with a 'hoooo' sound. Shepard mimicked her breathing with a 'he, he, hoooo'. Chakwas nodded. "That's it. And repeat. Don't let your life as a soldier make you forget the things we've learned as women. You know how to do this, Shepard. You know what you need to do." The doctor squeezed Shepard's hand as the contractions subsided. "The baby's coming."
Shepard nodded. "I... I'm having a baby."
Chakwas nodded with her. "Yes. Mordin and Eve have been preparing the med bay. Who do you want in there with you? I'll send anyone else away."
Warnings: Spoilers for at least the first half of ME3. TRIGGER warning for stillbirth. Sure, that gives away what's going to happen, but I think it's fair to put that out there sooner rather than later. Don't expect too much happy because of it.)
~~~~~~
Shepard reached forward to graze her fingers and palm over the scaring on Garrus's face. Garrus leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. Neither of them were sure who had made the first move, but Shepard's other hand was gripping the front bowl of his armor and Garrus's hands were around her waist, and they were closing the distance between them. Garrus could feel the warmth of Shepard's breath against his chin as he dipped his head towards her.
And it was in that position that they froze, limbs wrapped around each other, but still not able to close the gap between their mouths, as EDI informed them that Cortez was ready with the shuttle.
Shepard stepped back from Garrus with a feigned smile. “Guess we'll have to catch up later.”
Garrus wanted to retort that this wasn't exactly going to go anywhere since they both knew that they only had a few minutes to spare before they had to beat Cerberus to a bomb planted on Tuchanka. But it was nice for the small moments that they were together. He had wanted to give her time and not pressure her about “them”, but he was sure to gently remind her that we was still interested - more than interested. He needed her.
Distractions be damned, Garrus grabbed Shepard's shoulder to turn her towards him again before she triggered the main battery's door controls. He hooked an armored finger under her chin, tipping her her face up and back. It happened in mere seconds, but Garrus bent slightly to touch his mouth to her lips, pulling away before either of them tried to take it further.
Shepard watched him walk out of the main battery, touching her lips with her fingers as a shade of pink ghosted over her cheeks. Damn war, was her forefront thought. She didn't know what sort of future there would be with this war going on, but she hoped it was one that included Garrus.
Her stomach clenched almost painfully when she considered that some of them might not make it through this war. Shepard breathed in deeply, trying to calm her nerves before she left the room to join Garrus in the elevator.
~~~~~~
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“Get behind something!” Garrus shouted as he, Shepard, and Liara made a mad dash out of the shuttle onto the exploding battlefield.
“Keep your heads down!” Shepard responded, tucking her back up against a large chunk of rubble. She fired a few quick shots at the Cerberus trooper trying to sneak up on her before curling back into the cover to avoid the bullets whizzing by. She bit back a groan at the sudden pain in her abdomen. Placing her hand on her stomach, she checked her armor for any cracks or dents, wondering if she had been hit. Everything seemed fine, and the pain was gone fairly quickly. Cursing at the grenade that landed at her feet, Shepard threw herself over the rock and ran to a nearby generated shield.
Push forward, push Cerberus back.
Garrus looked her way for a moment, hiding behind another piece of rubble next to her. “We've got to move, Shepard.”
She knew that! Shepard shot him a sour face with creased eyebrows. Turning away from Garrus, she looked for Liara, catching sight of a blue head peeking out from a spot behind them. Liara caught her gaze and followed through to run for a fallen pillar when Shepard gave her a hand motion to get closer.
Running for cover to avoid the massive explosions happening all around them while trying to pick off Cerberus troops was no easy task. It was made more difficult with the appearance of a turret set up right where Shepard wanted to move to. She had to signal for Liara and Garrus to overload the shield generators while she sneaked into a hole and grabbed the engineer before the turret could register her.
Together, they were able to rush past the remaining Cerberus troops. Victus's men could handle the rest. Shepard leaned heavily against a crumbling wall, sucking in a hissed breath as pain again crawled from her back to her front.
“Shepard, we need to keep moving,” Garrus told her as he looked around the corner for potential threats. He turned back to her when he heard her suck in a pained breath. He was at her side immediately, touching her arm and leaning close to her. “Are you hurt?”
Shepard shook her head, smiling up at him. “I'm fine.” When he didn't step away from her, she sighed. “Just some cramping or something. Nerves maybe.” She pushed herself from the wall, standing up straight and putting her arms out to her sides. “See? I'm good. Let's go.” Shepard didn't miss the frown that Liara shot her before she turned away to jog up the ramp.
Victus called out over the radio, “Once we've reached the bomb, I'll need to reprogram the trigger mechanism.”
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“Affirmative!” “Got it.” “Get into cover.” “Go, go, go!” Shouts rang out from both sides as more Cerberus tried to take up the slack of their lost comrades. Not that they could really call each other comrades. That seemed too human for the hollowed-out versions of these people.
Finally, the group got a short reprieve from fighting when those enemies were cleared out as well. Shepard was still hurrying to get to the bomb. Fixing someone else's problem was the story of her life. It was bad enough that the turians wouldn't help unless they got help from the krogan and the krogan wouldn't help unless they got a cure for the Genophage, but now they all find out that the turians had put a bomb on the krogan's planet as a back-up measure.
Garrus spoke up behind her, seeming to mirror her thoughts. “We defeat the krogan and then plant a bomb on their planet. Pretty extreme, but those were desperate times.”
Shepard nodded, putting her arm out to grab the ledge in front of her and boost herself up the uneven surface. Her boosting didn't go as coordinately as she had planned though when another cramp seized her stomach and her arm gave out. She grunted in pain and surprise as she crumpled half on the ledge.
“Shepard!” Liara and Garrus cried out in alarm simultaneously. Liara crouched beside Shepard, one hand on her shoulder, while Garrus took the soldier role of scanning for any enemies that might be headed their way after their outburst.
Shepard put out her hand to ward Liara off, and she rolled over onto her back, legs dangling over the edge. She took a moment to catch her breath before she let Liara help her back to her feet.
“What's going on, Commander?” Liara asked, not letting go of her CO's hand.
“I'm fine,” was all Shepard said.
Garrus was looking up in front of them, and without turning to face her, he said, “You didn't just trip and double over in pain for no reason, Shepard.”
Shepard groaned and took her hand back from Liara. “I don't know what's going on. More cramping again.”
“Again?” Liara looked the way they came, visually clearing their rear. She lifted her arm to tack something into her omni-tool. “Should we check for -”
“No,” Shepard said as she pushed Liara's arm back down. “We don't have time for a scan. I'll change my medi-gel dispenser as we go.” She walked up the slanted ground that was probably the side of a building. “If I get any more cramps or whatever's going on, that should cover the pain. It's only happened a few times.”
Garrus and Liara exchanged a worried glance, but followed their commander anyway.
~~~~~~
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There were only a few more groupings of Cerberus soldiers before they realized that the enemy was preparing to leave. There was a ramp up ahead that Liara pointed out would be a good spot to see what was going on. Shepard thought that she felt another cramp coming on, but the medi-gel acted as a pain reliever to push it down as an uncomfortable pressure.
They reached an open area which revealed the enormous bomb that had been hidden underground before Cerberus had dug it up. Victus radioed to let them know that his team had reached the bomb site and were moving to the control station. Shepard replied that they were on their way before climbing up the ladder that seemed to be the only way to go.
The path to the bomb wrapped them around and into more buildings.
“With Cerberus evacuating, the bomb should be clear,” Liara said.
Garrus disagreed. “I don't think so. I'm guessing they'll bring out the big guns.”
Shepard flinched at the sound of a small explosion that may have been from a shuttle up ahead. She jogged ahead to indeed see a shuttle disappearing from the gaping hole in the ceiling. Her stomach ached again, and she was genuinely starting to be concerned that they might be getting worse.
Down another broken wall and around the corner proved Garrus to be correct. Shepard had enough time to see a few Cerberus soldiers fleeing before she realized that there were multiple turrets set up in the next room. No way to go around them, but Shepard, Garrus, and Liara were far enough away for now that the heavy weapons didn't register their movements.
There was a fallen pillar just in front of the turrets and she needed to get Liara and Garrus close enough so that they could overload them. She couldn't see any other cover for them to creep through the room little by little.
“Garrus. Liara.” Shepard looked at them sternly then pointed to the fallen pillar. “I'll provide you cover fire and a distraction. I need you to follow in behind me and make for that pillar.” She raised a hand to cut them off before either of them could protest. “Overload them whenever you have a chance.”
Shepard ran into the room, guns literally blazing as she bee-lined for the pillar. She didn't feel the assault of the turrets until her shields were throwing out warning signals. Her shields faltered and were gone altogether just as she rolled to flatten herself against the cover of the pillar. There was a delay in the medi-gel and she gritted her teeth to the agonizing pain radiating from her stomach, shooting down her legs and up her spine. It was only a moment, but it left her gasping.
Garrus and Liara were crouching beside her, having taken care of the turrets. She gave them a thumbs up in answer to their questioning gaze. Shepard shakily stood up, careful to not show any outward signs of a struggle. The bomb controls were just around the corner; she didn't have time to sit around and hope that her sporadic cramping would go away.
It could have been something bad that she ate, severe gas, or menstrual cramping - but her's had never been so bad before. She wondered if something had hit her after all and if it was causing a pinched nerve. If the cramping had been constant, she probably could just drown it with medi-gel and grit her teeth to bear with it, but they'd been catching her off-guard and the surprise was making her want to roll over and curl up into a ball.
Shepard looked out of the building to the shuttle flying away when Garrus shouted, “Damn it! Cerberus has a head start.”
“We're close. Come on,” Shepard urged them, rushing through the hall and trying to hurry down the ladder before she could be caught with cramping again. She stilled at bottom to let a dulled ache wash over her.
Liara grabbed Shepard by the wrist when she was down the ladder. “I can't keep watching your vitals during combat, Commander.” She let go of Shepard to flick through her omni-tool. “I'm patching you in to Dr. Chakwas.”
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Shepard jogged the rest of the way to Victus's team, letting Liara do the talking with the medical doctor. Her own omni-tool lit up for a brief moment, a sign that Chakwas was connecting with her to watch the vitals that Liara couldn't anymore.
Victus continued when Shepard joined him. “Cerberus set up a firewall around the trigger mechanism to slow us down. I need to create a bypass. That'll take time, but like you said, 'no trigger, no explosion'.”
“We'll make sure you have the time you need, Lieutenant,” Shepard offered.
“Understood. Starting bypass. And,” Victus turned to regard Shepard, “thank you for making sure I get this chance.”
Shepard nodded. “Just make it right, soldier.”
The turian to Shepard's right grunted and fell to the ground, the sound of a bullet whizzing by catching Shepard's attention. Shepard turned and hid behind the nearest cover. Another turian was sniped and fell beside Victus.
“Look out!” someone warned.
Victus shouted over his shoulder while still inputting commands on the console in front of him. “Commander!”
“Focus on the bomb,” Shepard commanded him. “We'll handle Cerberus.” She jumped over the pile of rubble into the area below as Cerberus troops were heard shouting.
“Shepard blocking access. All units engage.”
“Nobody gets past us. Clear?” Shepard ordered Garrus and Liara, pressing her back to the crumbling wall.
“Clear,” Liara responded, running around the wall to the right.
Garrus didn't respond, instead watching a tremble wrack Shepard's body. The woman was unaware that he was watching her as her eyes were closed to only half-dulled pain. Garrus put his hand on her shoulder, dropping his head to her forehead. Shepard gasped at the sensation of him invading her space.
“And you won't move from this spot,” Garrus rumbled, forcefully but gently keeping her pinned against the wall. “Liara and I have got this. Catch the strays that might sneak behind us.”
“But -” Shepard started, wanting to push him away.
Garrus jumped away from her, dashing around the corner to join Liara in the fray. “Please. Jane.” He implored her quietly over the comm.
That wasn't the soldier Garrus that she had heard attempting to insubordinate his commanding officer into staying put. Her given name was reserved for the bedroom, when he was her friend and lover. Shepard clutched her rifle to her chest, hearing his voice pleadingly whisper her name again. He had never said it quite like that before.
Shepard didn't have too much time to think on it as a Cerberus trooper did manage to find his way past Garrus and Liara. She filled him full of bullets before he could react to her presence. Gravity pulled him to the ground when his legs gave out, and Shepard shot one more bullet into his skull, just to be sure.
As Shepard stayed tucked behind that wall, shooting anything that she could see while peeking around the corner, she started to loose count of the number of aches that shot through her. They started to come sooner and build in intensity, aching turning again into pain as she started to run low on medi-gel and it gave her a lower dosage to prolong the supply in her suit.
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Shepard caught sight of a heavy weapon that had been left on the ground - it looked like a Hydra. She scrambled out of cover to grab it and threw herself behind a pillar for cover. Garrus and Liara shouldn't have to take care of that thing alone. Thank God for thrown-out weapons.
She stepped out of cover so that the weapon could target the Atlas clanking its way towards Liara, and she started to charge it. The Hydra shot a blast like a cannon that threw Shepard to the ground as her abdomen clenched and pain sprouted again. She wheezed, trying to sit up and crawl back into cover.
Liara and Garrus shouted at her. Even Chakwas spoke up on her comm, “Commander.”
“I'm okay,” Shepard said over the radio, sitting and wiping sweat from her brow with an armored wrist. “I'm in cover.” She looked over her shoulder to see troops dropping out of a shuttle on the far left of the area. “How we doing, Lieutenant?”
“Overriding the bypass now, Commander,” Victus replied, strain and worry laced in his voice.
Shepard's omni-tool blinked and flashed a red warning that Liara required medical attention. She realized that Liara was directly underneath the shuttle. What the hell is she doing over there? Shepard thought, pushing the key that would disperse medi-gel in Liara's suit. Her tool just beeped negatively at her. “Garrus!” Shepard shouted on the comm. “I can't get her. I'm all out of medi-gel.”
Garrus growled, “Shit! You've been using that much?!”
“I... I hadn't noticed. Just go get her!” Shepard tried to give him cover fire as he ran and rolled his way to Liara, but the pain was back, reeking havoc on her insides. She focused on breathing, ignoring the pain; Garrus had to get to her.
Garrus slammed his bayonet on the end of his rifle into the trooper about to smash in Liara's head. He went back for Liara, pressing a medi-gel pack into the slot on her wrist that would manually disperse it. Liara groaned and rolled over, throwing a Singularity at the man trying to sneak up on Garrus.
Shepard watched them take on the last two remaining Cerberus soldiers. She could only wish that more weren't sent in.
“Commander! Firewall's down. I'm in!”
Shepard sighed in relief to hear Victus say that. She slowly stood, shaky on her feet as the constant barrage of cramping and pain was wearing her out. She winced at Victus cursing over the comm, informing her that Cerberus had hacked the mechanism and it was set to detonate. How much time? “Disarm it,” she told him uselessly, near-limping her way to him.
“No time,” was the answer he gave her. “I have to separate the trigger from the bomb. Now!”
Liara was still shooting at the few Cerberus troops dropping in, but Garrus helped Shepard onto the ledge with Victus before he returned to Liara.
“Cover me,” Victus said. He looked up at the bomb, made a decision, and grabbed the ladder on one of its supports to crawl to the top.
Shepard could only sit and watch as Liara and Garrus kept Cerberus back and Victus did something at the very top of the bomb to keep it from going off. She curled her hand into a fist against the wall beside her and whined in frustration over yet another painful cramp hitting her. She was a soldier; she was supposed to fight through pain like this. It wasn't the worst pain she had ever felt, but she had never felt anything like it before.
A loud clank behind her made her twist around to see Victus hanging off of a latch at the top. “Lieutenant!” She cried out, trying to stand, but the exertion was too much.
“Victory, at any cost,” Victus told her on the radio, his voice quiet and calm.
She watched him pull a tube from the latch, and the whole thing jolted. It happened in slow motion before her eyes as Victus couldn't hold on and the latch detached from the body of the mechanism. Victus fell. The latch fell. And finally, the whole mechanism fell, revealing the now inactive round bomb hanging up above.
Shepard screamed, curling into a ball on the ground there. Loosing Tarquin, the Primarch's son, had not been part of the mission. Her, unable to do anything about it had not been part of the mission.
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Shepard let Garrus gather her into his arms. She didn't have to fight it anymore, so she pressed her face against the heated metal of Garrus's armor. She couldn't sleep or relax because the pain kept coming. Someone should knock her out with a sedative when she got back on the ship.
Garrus arranged her with the help of Liara on a bench so that she was laying on her back with her knees propped up. Garrus sat down on one end of the bench and pillowed a blanket under her head. Liara sat on the other end, resting her hand on Shepard's foot up on the bench.
Chakwas started shouting orders and questions the moment Shepard was settled, telling Cortez to move his ass like it was on fire. “I can't do any scans while Shepard's off of the ship. Her vitals have been shooting up at particular points. You should have gotten her out of there sooner. What sort of pain is she in? You said cramping?”
Shepard sucked in a breath and held it to let the pain of another spasm wash over her. Garrus ran his hand through her hair, using an untucked portion of the blanket to wipe away sweat beading on her face.
Liara answered Chakwas. “Yes, she's only said it feels like cramps. She's been favoring her stomach when it happens. Can we sedate her? She seems to be in a lot of pain.”
Yes, blessed relief. Shepard thought as she tipped her head back to enjoy the moment of calm before her body was on fire again.
“No, that might not be wise. What does it feel like, Commander?” Chakwas asked. “Where exactly do you feel the pain?”
“It - I think it starts in my back,” Shepard responded. “Moves to the front. My stomach. Pressure and cramping. It starts to hurt all over.” She gritted her teeth at more seizing pain. “God, it - it feels like... like I'm giving birth. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Yes, well, Commander,” Chakwas paused, the comm going quiet. “When was your last physical?”
“My last physical?” Shepard started to wrack her brain. “I had drug tests done while I was incarcerated. But a full scan hasn't... well, I haven't gotten one since I was with Cerberus. Miranda did one right after we destroyed the Collector's base.”
“Noticed any illnesses while you were incarcerated? Anything out of the ordinary?” Chakwas continued.
“Why is that important?” Shepard gasped.
“Until I get you back on the Normandy, I can't be certain, Commander. You may, in fact, be giving birth.”
“You're joking,” Shepard nearly laughed, covering her eyes with her hand. “That's the best idea you can come up with?”
“I'm completely serious, Commander.” And Chakwas sounded completely serious.
Shepard tilted her head back to look up at Garrus staring down at her. His hand had stilled in her hair and his eyes were hard as he returned her gaze. “That's impossible,” she whispered. Pain lanced through her belly again, and she clenched her hand around the edge of the bench at her side.
“I was never sick,” Shepard went through her pregnancy symptom list in her head when the pain subsided. “I haven't gained any - my stomach isn't huge! I haven't slept with - God, there hasn't been a human man since Kaidan years ago.”
“These spikes in your vitals have been growing closer and closer together,” Chakwas told her. “Seeing from my end, I can assume that the intensity of the pain has gotten worse since they first started. They are reading like contractions during a birthing would.”
Shepard had nothing to say to that; she was completely flabbergasted by the notion. Garrus didn't seem to have anything to say either.
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“No, I don't.” For one of the few times in her life, Shepard felt tears starting to well up in her eyes. “That's something you'd think I'd notice. Nothing. No swelling belly. I haven't felt... anything inside of me, moving around. No one's noticed me glowing?”
“Glowing?” Garrus looked down at her with a crooked browplate.
Liara shook her head. “It's a human, uh, metaphor or something. Pregnancy makes a woman seem to glow with, well, happiness, you know, emotions. Makes her seem all the more beautiful.”
“You still look beautiful to me,” Garrus said, returning to his ministrations of running his hand through her hair.
The feel of his fingers against her scalp was oddly relaxing, and Shepard smiled. She was about to tell him how silly that sounded, but she was cut off with that cramping pressure of pain that might possibly be a contraction.
“We're almost there, Commander,” Cortez's voice projected from the driver's seat.
Shepard had a break in cramping, and she placed a curious hand on her stomach. She couldn't feel anything with her armor on though. She started undoing clasps, removing her gauntlets and gloves. Garrus and Liara picked up on what she was doing, and without prompt, starting helping her remove her armor.
She was down to her undersuit and the armored plates on her thighs when she waved her arms and shouted for the other two to stop. “Uh, Chakwas? I...” Shepard didn't know how to explain the sudden sensation she felt of liquid trickling down her inner thigh. “I may have... peed in my armor?”
“Does it smell like urine?”
“It's trapped in my undersuit. I can't smell it.” Shepard unhooked and unzipped the top of the suit, folding it down to her waist so that she was sitting in a small white tank top.
“Try to stop it,” Chakwas suggested.
“Stop it?”
“Clench. Stop yourself from urinating.”
Shepard did as she was told, trying to “hold it in”, but the trickle of liquid didn't stop. Luckily, the suit was already absorbing the fluid to put it into a waste receptacle with her sweat. “That didn't do anything.”
The shuttle stopped and Chakwas stepped into the vehicle when the door opened. “All speculation still, but if you are going through labor, that's a pretty sure indication that your just water broke.”
~~~~~~
(A/N: That's all I've got for now. Not sure when I'll have free time to write again. I was on a roll today.)
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I'm hoping I can convey everything alright.
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This is a sensitive issue but you are writing it so damn well. I am looking forward to an update
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Please keep writing. Garrus' reactions are so familiar. The gender seperation in moments like these are absolutely profound and you're conveying that and the love and affection and concern perfectly.
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Any suggestions are welcome. And I'm so pleased to see that some of you are enjoying it, despite what's to come.
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Shepard was rushed up to the med bay, Liara and Garrus taking off the rest of her armor while they were in the elevator. Chakwas was giving Shepard a full body scan with her omni-tool as Shepard threw on the loose medical gown that was handed to her.
Chakwas nodded, looking over the three-dimensional hologram of Shepard's body hovering over her omni-tool. "As I suspected, you're with child, Commander."
"But -" Shepard started before a contraction hit her and she gritted down on her teeth.
Garrus rested his hand on Shepard's shoulder and looked at Shepard's model. "I'm... no expert on human, or, well, pregnancies in general, but I thought that humans get swelled bellies when they're pregnant." He rolled one hand out in front of him to mime the shape of an enlarged stomach.
"That's true, Garrus," Chakwas told him, eyes still on the model. "Some women don't gain much weight at all though, so there might not be any outward signs of a pregnancy."
Shepard lifted up her gown, her modesty not a factor at this point as she flashed them her white underwear. She pressed her hand to her stomach. "I did gain some weight while I was incarcirated. I thought it was just from my inactivity." When she looked at it long enough, she could see a slight roundness to her abdomen that she couldn't excuse away as just some extra pounds she put on.
"Calculating the approximate time the child was conceived, you were pregnant the entire time you were locked up with the Alliance," Chakwas looked down at Shepard in the wheelchair. "Why did no one give you a physical while you were there?"
Shepard frowned, looking over at the edge of the elevator where a Cerberus logo used to be before the Alliance painted over it. "I was afraid they'd want to do more than just examine me. After Cerberus brought me back, I... I still don't know the extent of what they had to do. I don't really want to know."
She groaned at the feel of another contraction, wrapping her fists around the armrests of the wheelchair. The elevator pinged open, and Chakwas squatted down in front of Shepard.
"Shepard," she said, placing her hand on top of Shepard's fist, "breathing will help."
Shepard looked forward to Chakwas with creased brows as she fought through the pain.
"Quick breaths in. Long breath out." Chakwas breathed in that fashion, taking two short breaths in with a 'he, he' sound, and then she breathed out slowly with a 'hoooo' sound. Shepard mimicked her breathing with a 'he, he, hoooo'. Chakwas nodded. "That's it. And repeat. Don't let your life as a soldier make you forget the things we've learned as women. You know how to do this, Shepard. You know what you need to do." The doctor squeezed Shepard's hand as the contractions subsided. "The baby's coming."
Shepard nodded. "I... I'm having a baby."
Chakwas nodded with her. "Yes. Mordin and Eve have been preparing the med bay. Who do you want in there with you? I'll send anyone else away."
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