FILL: M!Shep/Joker, Cruise Control [2/7]
anonymous
September 14 2011, 19:56:17 UTC
Lazily, he starts sorting through the various windows. Trajectory equations; boring. Heat load feed; boring. Calibration reports; abysmally boring. Paused holovid; ah hah. Anything's gotta be more interesting than more grinding for palladium, even if it's one of those incomprehensible quarian engineering vids Tali keeps spamming the crew's omni-tools with. He hits play. It's dark for a second, but Shepard recognises the low, trembling moan for what it is-- and hurriedly switches the audio feed into his earpiece. Another...lesser man may have switched the thing off, but Shepard, a bold adventurer, man of mystery, action and science is possessed of a curious mind. He winds it back to the start. A human female, busty, brunette and piercingly green-eyed straddles a female turian. Her body is golden and oiled, breasts are pushed tight inside a leather bodice, crotch obscured by a tiny, tight pair of underclothes, a tight thong back seperating two plump buttocks. The turian is bare, her plating is sleek and iridescant. The individual plates are beautifully arranged, patterning her slender waist and down between her powerful legs. Her genital plating is drawn back, and a wet peek of swollen deep purple flesh inside provides proof of arousal. Shepard swallows thickly. The turian's long tongue inside the human's mouth gently circles her thicker, shorter human one. Her painted fingernails scratch the turian's plated hips and down to the erogenous zone behind her genital slat, making her trill.
Oh. Ohhh, this is nice. Shepard sighs, attempting to get comfortable with suddenly-tight pants-- and downloads a copy of the vid to his omni-tool. Inspiration strikes. Joker's hidden stash on the last Normandy was a thing of scuttlebutt legend; hidden in the ship's runtimes, they said. He feels like he just found Eldo-fuckin'-rado. Only, the walls are paved with fine xenophilic erotica, rather than gold. He opens the pilot's directory folder. Inputs the vid's ID, finds the folder pool and--mother of God. Spoiled for choice like a perverted kid in an even more perverted candy shop, he opens one at random-- three asari sliding their tongues and slender hands over a single krogan's jutting cock-- it's ridged and pale against their dark blue lips and tongues, coated in a deep amber, honey-like secretion. Another contains a ridiculously-cut human male and a female batarian, all four of her eyes fluttering open and closed rapidly with pleasure as he has her, pressing her large, ridged mammaries against a window with the twinkling daylight of Illium highlighting the sweat on their bodies and muscles. Shepard bites his lip. Lets one hand trail idly down his chest and along his belly. Fingers hook under his waistband, fiddle with the clasp that secures his zipper closed. He lets the other roams his thighs, slip in between them, squeeze the thick muscles there and push his hardened cock up against his stomach through layers of fabric. Shit. He gets his cargos undone, finally, and uses his freed up hand to switch again.
FILL: M!Shep/Joker, Cruise Control [3/7]
anonymous
September 14 2011, 19:57:23 UTC
This time, it's a hanar, an turian, and a human guy again. Ah, tentacles. Who'd have thought old Japan would get it so right? He...he looks over his shoulder. Coast is clear...he figures he can probably get in a quick one before anybody turns up-- if Joker was just snacking or fucking about doing something elsewhere, he might flip out (in a hilarious way) if he finds Shepard's rifled through (and cloned some) of his vast porno collection. Heavy risk. Wetting his lips, he slides his busy hand inside the crotch of his pants, taking ahold of the familiar length now tenting his uniform. His fingers still feel...off, their texture obviously synthetic where it's not callousing or healing. Eyes on the vid, where the hanar is prying the turian's legs open with a few of it's of tentacles. The turian in question is putting up a token struggle, but his genital plating has already retracted and his cock, purplish and alien is slick with clear fluids and prominent; his flanging voice raises in a wordless keen when the hanar playfully taps the end, makes the organ wobble. The human spreads his legs more quickly, and Shepard is privy to a nice view of a clear pink tentacle pushing up inside of him.
Fuck. He parts his thighs as far as his clothing and position makes it comfortable to and wriggles down, freeing his cock by loosening his cargos around his hips. He's gonna make this one count. Ignoring his stiff cock for the moment, he slides a hand up under his shirt, rakes nails up the hair on his stomach and chest and rucks it up to his ribs. His nipples harden easily, becoming obvious under the non-issue tee he's chosen to wear during downtime. Gotta try a hanar sometime. Maybe next time they dock on Omega...the human on-screen moans lavaciously, pushing himself into the two--no, three oiled tentacles splitting him open. Pressing his cock against his belly with the heel of his hand, he gives it two lazy strokes. A dribble of pre-cum wets his stomach. He palms it, bites his lip, eyes on the main screen and gives himself a few more slow, firm strokes-- before dropping it. His palm is too dry. Frustrated, he looks around the pilot's station for something--anything, spit was acceptable in a pinch, but there's always omni-gel on a ship.
He leans to the left, feeling under the console-- and becomes aware in an instant that he's being watched.
M!Shep/Joker, Cruise Control [4/7]
anonymous
September 14 2011, 19:58:27 UTC
Joker is leaning on the framework of the ship behind him, flush-cheeked, wide-eyed and...leering. "Uhm," He comments. Looks at Joker. Looks back to the screen. Mutes it. Fairly sure that the audio feed went straight to his earpiece, too. Play it cool, John. Ignore all the blood left in your brain fleeing to your cheeks. "Joker...What's up?" The pilot smirks, raises an eyebrow, any embarassment at being caught staring evaporating. "Oh...not much, Commander. Just, uh....havin' fun, there?"
Way Shepard sees it, he has two options. The first, is to retreat before Joker recovers sufficently enough to remember to snap a holo. The second, and by far more appealing option, is his favourite strategem. Refuge in audacity. Nobody ever expected a human to tackle a krogan berserker or try to go toe-to-toe with a YMIR. This could be no different...he shifts around to look the pilot in his face, ignores the heat in his cheeks and applies a crooked smile, gestures down to his crotch. "Sure am. Why, wanna gimme a hand?" Joker goes pinker, eyes flicking momentarily down to his cock then back to his face. He wets his lips. Interesting. Then Joker laughs, slightly breathless. "Aw, fuck off, John. I gotta work in this seat." "Nah," Shepard can't help himself, mostly seeing as he never gets to fluster Joker, much less turn a situation 'round on him "...unless you're gonna put that smart mouth of yours t'good use? Can't seem to find your omni-gel." Joker, to his credit, doesn't squeak and hobble away very quickly. Instead, he clears his throat and looks John in the eye, sizes him up. Suddenly, Shepard isn't so sure he's going to back down. "All right," the pilot's voice is low and there's a triumphant smile in it. "All right, Shepard."
Damn. Calling his bluff, huh? Shepard laves his tongue over his suddenly-dry lips. Crap. Shit. He grins, though, 'cause somehow it'd be a damn bad idea to back down now, and crooks his fingers. "Then c'mere, Moreau."
Kissing Joker is a new experience-- he's never made out with a guy with a beard before. His beard is scratchy against Shepard's cheeks, chin and lips, totally different than the clean-shaven marine-types he usually goes for. It's awkward at first because he had an inkling Joker was expecting him to back down-- and vice versa, so their mouths mesh awkwardly. He tilts his head back, parts his lips and licks the closed seam of Joker's until they open, too. His cock feels even tighter when Joker makes a pleased, throaty noise and pushes Shepard's head back into the 'rest tightly. His tongue is quite insistent, and he recognises Miranda's fruity yoghurt on it. He snorts, shifts in the seat and curls a hand around the back of Joker's neck. He pulls back when Shepard trails his hand down behind him and squeezes his backside, breathing somewhat heavily.
FILL: M!Shep/Joker, Cruise Control [5/7]
anonymous
September 14 2011, 19:59:57 UTC
"So," Joker bites his lip and grins, trails a hand down John's chest. He's looking at Shepard all the time, vivid green eyes on his, always slightly mocking and challenging, trying to gauge his reaction. This is one hell of a game of chicken. "So," he responds, and shifts the chair back out of it's station, gives Joker room and a pat on the ass. He glares at Shepard, lips tightening in equal parts resolve and annoyance-- and then he fucking manouvers himself in, kneels awkwardly between Shepard's knees. He unmutes the holo with a quick movement of his omni-tool, slides his long-fingered hands up the insides of Shepard's thighs, tugs his cargos neatly down and pools them around his ankles.
Shepard (very) briefly entertains the thought they should stop, but...nah. Joker was willing to go this far to freak him out...well, a blowjob was still a blowjob. The alien grunts and moans from the display on-screen--the human is inside the hanar, which Shepard can now clearly see is a girl hanar, his cock visible through it's translucent pink flesh. He looks between the pilot and the vid when Joker's clever fingers cradle his dick-- the man's soft-skinned but his hands are large and masculine enough to feel substantial, slowly tracing out the contours, length and girth of his cock. His breath hitches when Joker just starts rubbing the tip of one thumb over the head of his cock, smearing precum in a circular motion over the head and just under it; it's fucking difficult not to push up into the teasing touch. More than difficult when a warm, wet tongue flattens along the underside of it, traces upwards from balls to tip. Oh, god damn it, he was actually doing it-- John lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, squeezes his eyes shut when Joker does it again, a deliberately slow stroke that ends just under the slit because fuck, that feels great. Shepard's pretty sure he's got Lady Luck on his side tonight when Joker tongues the head of his cock, squeezes and strokes his balls into the palm of one hand; not just possibly the greatest cache of high-quality holoporn in the sector now at his fingertips, but a free blowjob thrown in whilst he enjoyed it.
He's not expecting it, but Joker's good. He kisses the vein on the underside of Shepard's cock, dips his head and licks at his balls, curls his tongue behind the head and lower, wets the whole shaft with a series of short, sloppy laps. Shepard can't help but groan, squirm under Joker's wet lips, blunt teeth and that clever fucking tongue, grips the armrests so tightly he thinks he might actually tear them off. Can't even bring himself to care when a laugh tickles the head of his cock. Shepard watches the porno through his eyelashes, the hanar thrusting rapidly between the two others, a silvery lubricant seeping out of her, slicking the other two from belly to thighs; and then his gaze slides down to the stubborn pilot sucking his cock, pulling it inside his mouth and stretching his spit-wet lips. Joker's eyes flick upwards to meet his when he reaches down to flick his hat up, cup his hairy jaw and smooth a thumb over the side of his face. The shape of his cock stretches Joker's cheek and he traces himself through it-- the tip of the pilot's tongue is pink and slick poking out between his lower lip and Shepard's dick.
FILL: M!Shep/Joker, Cruise Control [6/7]
anonymous
September 14 2011, 20:01:11 UTC
He grins, his teeth sliding over his lower lip-- his cock slips deeper, rubs against the gum of Joker's soft palate and he can't help but push his hips gently upwards, slide his hand up Joker's cheek and push his fingers under the other man's cap and into his hair, pressing him simultaneously down. He doesn't flinch, gag or look away, despite the fluttering tongue against the underside of his cock. God, there's something so hot about the man's gaze on his with his mouth stretched over his dick.
He mutes the porno, aware Joker's face is heating up under sudden scrutiny, despite the look in his eyes. Smiles, pushes the pilot's cap off his head so he can rake his fingers through the man's short curls. Unexpectedly, Joker doesn't seem to mind. "Y'suck a lot of cock, Moreau?" The question takes the pilot by suprise, because he chokes a little, the back of his throat contracts wetly around the head of his cock. Oh, that's good. Joker sucks him once, hard, then pulls back slow, the head of John's cock nestling against his tongue. Opens his mouth so Shepard can see it, corners of his lips curling.
He lets out a low groan, despite himself because fuck, that looks good. He passes a thumb over Joker's temple, feels heat in his skin and feels the slight sheen of sweat on his skin. There's definite mirth in his eyes as he lowers his lashes slightly, not quite submissive but definitely enjoying himself. And then, long fingers squeezing the base of his spit-wet cock, he pushes his mouth down over John, sucks him deep until the head of his cock is pressed against back of his throat and past and oh jesus christ-- it takes every ounce of control he has not to grab Joker's head and fuck his clever lips sore. Instead, he lets out a loud, strangled moan that he's pretty sure the techs over in the back of the CIC hear and gently pushes his hips upwards until Joker is kissing his own fist. The pilot swallows, grunts around his cock, works it with slow, nodding motions. Shit, guy gives head like he flies ships.
FILL: M!Shep/Joker, Cruise Control [7/7]
anonymous
September 14 2011, 20:02:00 UTC
Joker brings him to the edge with the tight passage of mouth, tongue and throat, drawing back to breathe with pre-cum and spit on his lips and chin-- then he ducks back down, all squeezing heat and pushing tongue and pulls him right over. He curses throatily, spine arched, hips twitching, grips Joker's hair tightly-- hopes that's sufficient warning before he cums. Joker pulls back with a bitchy-sounding noise of dissent, but doesn't spit, instead milks his cock with his mouth and fingers until it starts to soften and slips out from between his lips. He drops the grip he has on Joker's hair, runs his fingers down the man's cheek and touches his wet lips, parts them. There's a funny, heated look in his eyes when he lets Shepard open his mouth, push his fingers inside, rub cum and spit along his inner cheeks, teeth and tongue. Then, he closes his lips around Shepard's fingers, sucks and fucking swallows.
"Son of a bitch." John pulls his hand away and flops back in the chair, grins wide like an idiot. Joker just smirks like he's proved a point, rubs the back of his wrist over his swollen lips. "Gonna get out of my chair?" Shepard makes a lazy hmmm, still feeling comfortably boneless. He's aware of the flush of arousal still present on Joker's face, his quick breath and dilated pupils. He can follows the line of Joker's shoulder, see where the hand that wasn't on his cock has gone. He gives Joker a smirk of his own, indicates the elevator a ways behind them with a thumb. "Depends. Wanna get outta here, Moreau?"
Joker narrows his eyes, looks him up and down-- then grins, gives John's shed cargos a tug, pulling them back up to his knees. "You're on, Commander."
Re: FILL: M!Shep/Joker, Cruise Control [7/7]
anonymous
September 15 2011, 00:36:46 UTC
Damn, this was great. As in, really great. I laughed out loud in the beginning, with the bored Shepard. And all the little things about the ship and the crew and the trajectory equations (!) - fantastic. Don't get me wrong, I loved the hot part too (as in, really loved it), but it's the humor that won me over.
Have you any other writings around? Would you link? Many thanks in any case. You've made my evening. :)
(author!anon)
anonymous
September 15 2011, 14:33:35 UTC
O-oh gosh what a lovely comment! C: Getting responses like this definitely makes writing dirty things (and inserting derpy jokes) worthwhile. Very happy you liked it indeed.
And um, yes I do! And since you flattered me so expertly I shall compile what I can remember writing for you from the delicious archive, although some of it's not actually that kinky and is of questionable quality:
Re: (author!anon)
anonymous
September 15 2011, 20:35:29 UTC
Anon from the first comment here. OMG! Sunfish is one of the first stories I've read on the meme and one of the reasons I'm still on the meme, reading stories. Your stuff is incredible. Your humor, but also, characterization. Effortless! Yet perfect. I've never read a more endearing John Shepard; not the brightest light, is he? :) But a good sort. So refreshing, to see imperfection. The maturity, the humanity of imperfection.
Re: (author!anon)
anonymous
September 15 2011, 21:44:16 UTC
A-aww dude c'mon you're making me blush irl! (also wrote this M!Shep/Kaidan 'un, if you're interested in any more, totally forgot to list it, derp: http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2320.html?thread=3583248#t3583248) I do love my Sheploo though, and i'm going to admit he's based a teensy bit on Archer, in a silly and slightly dickish (and not too bright but who has time for learning things these days have you seen all those giant lovecraftian horrors flying around up there zapping everything) way. Only, y'know, he's essentially a decent guy. They probably only let him on the Normandy because the Hero of Elysium and the survivor from Akuze were too smart and turned the job down, though.
Oh my gosh yessss thank you for linking this, I am sniggering so hard at it! Well, that's this evening's entertainment sorted out as I see there's much more. I love monologuing for my Shepards when playing and it always tends to end up in a similar way, which just makes this funnier. C:
Oh. Ohhh, this is nice. Shepard sighs, attempting to get comfortable with suddenly-tight pants-- and downloads a copy of the vid to his omni-tool. Inspiration strikes. Joker's hidden stash on the last Normandy was a thing of scuttlebutt legend; hidden in the ship's runtimes, they said. He feels like he just found Eldo-fuckin'-rado. Only, the walls are paved with fine xenophilic erotica, rather than gold. He opens the pilot's directory folder. Inputs the vid's ID, finds the folder pool and--mother of God.
Spoiled for choice like a perverted kid in an even more perverted candy shop, he opens one at random-- three asari sliding their tongues and slender hands over a single krogan's jutting cock-- it's ridged and pale against their dark blue lips and tongues, coated in a deep amber, honey-like secretion. Another contains a ridiculously-cut human male and a female batarian, all four of her eyes fluttering open and closed rapidly with pleasure as he has her, pressing her large, ridged mammaries against a window with the twinkling daylight of Illium highlighting the sweat on their bodies and muscles. Shepard bites his lip. Lets one hand trail idly down his chest and along his belly. Fingers hook under his waistband, fiddle with the clasp that secures his zipper closed. He lets the other roams his thighs, slip in between them, squeeze the thick muscles there and push his hardened cock up against his stomach through layers of fabric. Shit.
He gets his cargos undone, finally, and uses his freed up hand to switch again.
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Fuck. He parts his thighs as far as his clothing and position makes it comfortable to and wriggles down, freeing his cock by loosening his cargos around his hips. He's gonna make this one count. Ignoring his stiff cock for the moment, he slides a hand up under his shirt, rakes nails up the hair on his stomach and chest and rucks it up to his ribs. His nipples harden easily, becoming obvious under the non-issue tee he's chosen to wear during downtime. Gotta try a hanar sometime. Maybe next time they dock on Omega...the human on-screen moans lavaciously, pushing himself into the two--no, three oiled tentacles splitting him open. Pressing his cock against his belly with the heel of his hand, he gives it two lazy strokes. A dribble of pre-cum wets his stomach. He palms it, bites his lip, eyes on the main screen and gives himself a few more slow, firm strokes-- before dropping it. His palm is too dry. Frustrated, he looks around the pilot's station for something--anything, spit was acceptable in a pinch, but there's always omni-gel on a ship.
He leans to the left, feeling under the console-- and becomes aware in an instant that he's being watched.
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"Uhm," He comments. Looks at Joker. Looks back to the screen. Mutes it. Fairly sure that the audio feed went straight to his earpiece, too. Play it cool, John. Ignore all the blood left in your brain fleeing to your cheeks. "Joker...What's up?" The pilot smirks, raises an eyebrow, any embarassment at being caught staring evaporating. "Oh...not much, Commander. Just, uh....havin' fun, there?"
Way Shepard sees it, he has two options. The first, is to retreat before Joker recovers sufficently enough to remember to snap a holo. The second, and by far more appealing option, is his favourite strategem. Refuge in audacity. Nobody ever expected a human to tackle a krogan berserker or try to go toe-to-toe with a YMIR. This could be no different...he shifts around to look the pilot in his face, ignores the heat in his cheeks and applies a crooked smile, gestures down to his crotch. "Sure am. Why, wanna gimme a hand?" Joker goes pinker, eyes flicking momentarily down to his cock then back to his face. He wets his lips. Interesting. Then Joker laughs, slightly breathless. "Aw, fuck off, John. I gotta work in this seat."
"Nah," Shepard can't help himself, mostly seeing as he never gets to fluster Joker, much less turn a situation 'round on him "...unless you're gonna put that smart mouth of yours t'good use? Can't seem to find your omni-gel." Joker, to his credit, doesn't squeak and hobble away very quickly. Instead, he clears his throat and looks John in the eye, sizes him up. Suddenly, Shepard isn't so sure he's going to back down. "All right," the pilot's voice is low and there's a triumphant smile in it. "All right, Shepard."
Damn. Calling his bluff, huh? Shepard laves his tongue over his suddenly-dry lips. Crap. Shit. He grins, though, 'cause somehow it'd be a damn bad idea to back down now, and crooks his fingers. "Then c'mere, Moreau."
Kissing Joker is a new experience-- he's never made out with a guy with a beard before. His beard is scratchy against Shepard's cheeks, chin and lips, totally different than the clean-shaven marine-types he usually goes for. It's awkward at first because he had an inkling Joker was expecting him to back down-- and vice versa, so their mouths mesh awkwardly. He tilts his head back, parts his lips and licks the closed seam of Joker's until they open, too. His cock feels even tighter when Joker makes a pleased, throaty noise and pushes Shepard's head back into the 'rest tightly. His tongue is quite insistent, and he recognises Miranda's fruity yoghurt on it. He snorts, shifts in the seat and curls a hand around the back of Joker's neck. He pulls back when Shepard trails his hand down behind him and squeezes his backside, breathing somewhat heavily.
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Shepard (very) briefly entertains the thought they should stop, but...nah. Joker was willing to go this far to freak him out...well, a blowjob was still a blowjob. The alien grunts and moans from the display on-screen--the human is inside the hanar, which Shepard can now clearly see is a girl hanar, his cock visible through it's translucent pink flesh. He looks between the pilot and the vid when Joker's clever fingers cradle his dick-- the man's soft-skinned but his hands are large and masculine enough to feel substantial, slowly tracing out the contours, length and girth of his cock. His breath hitches when Joker just starts rubbing the tip of one thumb over the head of his cock, smearing precum in a circular motion over the head and just under it; it's fucking difficult not to push up into the teasing touch. More than difficult when a warm, wet tongue flattens along the underside of it, traces upwards from balls to tip. Oh, god damn it, he was actually doing it-- John lets out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding, squeezes his eyes shut when Joker does it again, a deliberately slow stroke that ends just under the slit because fuck, that feels great. Shepard's pretty sure he's got Lady Luck on his side tonight when Joker tongues the head of his cock, squeezes and strokes his balls into the palm of one hand; not just possibly the greatest cache of high-quality holoporn in the sector now at his fingertips, but a free blowjob thrown in whilst he enjoyed it.
He's not expecting it, but Joker's good. He kisses the vein on the underside of Shepard's cock, dips his head and licks at his balls, curls his tongue behind the head and lower, wets the whole shaft with a series of short, sloppy laps. Shepard can't help but groan, squirm under Joker's wet lips, blunt teeth and that clever fucking tongue, grips the armrests so tightly he thinks he might actually tear them off. Can't even bring himself to care when a laugh tickles the head of his cock. Shepard watches the porno through his eyelashes, the hanar thrusting rapidly between the two others, a silvery lubricant seeping out of her, slicking the other two from belly to thighs; and then his gaze slides down to the stubborn pilot sucking his cock, pulling it inside his mouth and stretching his spit-wet lips. Joker's eyes flick upwards to meet his when he reaches down to flick his hat up, cup his hairy jaw and smooth a thumb over the side of his face. The shape of his cock stretches Joker's cheek and he traces himself through it-- the tip of the pilot's tongue is pink and slick poking out between his lower lip and Shepard's dick.
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He mutes the porno, aware Joker's face is heating up under sudden scrutiny, despite the look in his eyes. Smiles, pushes the pilot's cap off his head so he can rake his fingers through the man's short curls. Unexpectedly, Joker doesn't seem to mind. "Y'suck a lot of cock, Moreau?" The question takes the pilot by suprise, because he chokes a little, the back of his throat contracts wetly around the head of his cock. Oh, that's good. Joker sucks him once, hard, then pulls back slow, the head of John's cock nestling against his tongue. Opens his mouth so Shepard can see it, corners of his lips curling.
He lets out a low groan, despite himself because fuck, that looks good. He passes a thumb over Joker's temple, feels heat in his skin and feels the slight sheen of sweat on his skin. There's definite mirth in his eyes as he lowers his lashes slightly, not quite submissive but definitely enjoying himself. And then, long fingers squeezing the base of his spit-wet cock, he pushes his mouth down over John, sucks him deep until the head of his cock is pressed against back of his throat and past and oh jesus christ-- it takes every ounce of control he has not to grab Joker's head and fuck his clever lips sore. Instead, he lets out a loud, strangled moan that he's pretty sure the techs over in the back of the CIC hear and gently pushes his hips upwards until Joker is kissing his own fist. The pilot swallows, grunts around his cock, works it with slow, nodding motions. Shit, guy gives head like he flies ships.
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Then, he closes his lips around Shepard's fingers, sucks and fucking swallows.
"Son of a bitch." John pulls his hand away and flops back in the chair, grins wide like an idiot. Joker just smirks like he's proved a point, rubs the back of his wrist over his swollen lips. "Gonna get out of my chair?"
Shepard makes a lazy hmmm, still feeling comfortably boneless. He's aware of the flush of arousal still present on Joker's face, his quick breath and dilated pupils. He can follows the line of Joker's shoulder, see where the hand that wasn't on his cock has gone. He gives Joker a smirk of his own, indicates the elevator a ways behind them with a thumb. "Depends. Wanna get outta here, Moreau?"
Joker narrows his eyes, looks him up and down-- then grins, gives John's shed cargos a tug, pulling them back up to his knees. "You're on, Commander."
--
FIN.
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Have you any other writings around? Would you link? Many thanks in any case. You've made my evening. :)
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And um, yes I do! And since you flattered me so expertly I shall compile what I can remember writing for you from the delicious archive, although some of it's not actually that kinky and is of questionable quality:
+(Field Medicine, M!Shep+Garrus) http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2790.html?thread=4428518#t4428518
+(Expendability, F!Shep/Kaidan)http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2320.html?thread=4357136#t4357136
+(Reconciliation, M!Shep+Kaidan) http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2320.html?thread=3668496#t3668496
+(Sleeping Arrangements, M!Shep+Crew) http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2320.html?thread=3292432#t3292432
+(Lunch Date, Joker/M!Shep) http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2320.html?thread=3373840#t3373840
+(Sunfish, M!Shep/Joker) http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/2320.html?thread=3112208#t3112208
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I gotta say the amount of heartwarming is lovely
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You're a genius. And I'm in awe. And I'm reminded of this wonderful, hilarious, unfinished thing that made me lol sorta-kinda the way you do: http://social.bioware.com/forum/1/topic/128/index/5646020
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I do love my Sheploo though, and i'm going to admit he's based a teensy bit on Archer, in a silly and slightly dickish (and not too bright but who has time for learning things these days have you seen all those giant lovecraftian horrors flying around up there zapping everything) way. Only, y'know, he's essentially a decent guy. They probably only let him on the Normandy because the Hero of Elysium and the survivor from Akuze were too smart and turned the job down, though.
Oh my gosh yessss thank you for linking this, I am sniggering so hard at it! Well, that's this evening's entertainment sorted out as I see there's much more. I love monologuing for my Shepards when playing and it always tends to end up in a similar way, which just makes this funnier. C:
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You...
mmm that was just...so...mmmmmmmm....
that made my day :)
Joker/mShep is my favorite pairing and I would give you anything if you wrote a sequel...or filled another prompt with these two!!!
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