Mass Effect Jokes
We got a taste of ME-universe jokes in ME3's Garrus-Joker exchange. I've been collecting more, and I'd like to share a few and see what hilarious and terrible jokes you guys can come up with!
I can't claim credit for all of these. Several of them are collected from around the internet. No actual offense is intended with use of stereotypes.
A human, a turian, and a quarian walk into a bar. The volus just walks under it.
A krogan, a turian, and a salarian walk into a bar. Only the krogan walks out of it.
An asari walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why so blue?"
Why don't geth wear shoes?
Because the last time a geth asked about a sole, it started a war.
Why don't asari wear miniskirts?
They like going commando.
How many salarians does it take to make a sandwich?
Depends on the krogan's appetite.
How do you win a duel with a vorcha?
Wait.
What's the difference between a geth and a ginger?
Only one of them has a soul.
What's the difference between Commander Shepard and the reapers?
Shepard looks better in high heels.
Why didn't Garrus Vakarian dodge the rocket?
To give the other men a fair chance.
A quarian, a vorcha, and a krogan are in a hovercar. Who's driving?
C-Sec.
What do you get when you run a hanar through a peanut processing plant?
PB&J
How many council members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Don't be silly, the council can't change anything!
How many asari does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer 1: None. They're all too busy screwing something else!
Answer 2: Only two, but how do you fit them inside the lightbulb?
Answer 3: It only takes one asari to screw anything!
And lastly, the elcor paradox:
An elcor says, "False statement: This is a lie." Is the elcor lying?
Please add some jokes of your own!
I can't claim credit for all of these. Several of them are collected from around the internet. No actual offense is intended with use of stereotypes.
A human, a turian, and a quarian walk into a bar. The volus just walks under it.
A krogan, a turian, and a salarian walk into a bar. Only the krogan walks out of it.
An asari walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why so blue?"
Why don't geth wear shoes?
Because the last time a geth asked about a sole, it started a war.
Why don't asari wear miniskirts?
They like going commando.
How many salarians does it take to make a sandwich?
Depends on the krogan's appetite.
How do you win a duel with a vorcha?
Wait.
What's the difference between a geth and a ginger?
Only one of them has a soul.
What's the difference between Commander Shepard and the reapers?
Shepard looks better in high heels.
Why didn't Garrus Vakarian dodge the rocket?
To give the other men a fair chance.
A quarian, a vorcha, and a krogan are in a hovercar. Who's driving?
C-Sec.
What do you get when you run a hanar through a peanut processing plant?
PB&J
How many council members does it take to change a lightbulb?
Don't be silly, the council can't change anything!
How many asari does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Answer 1: None. They're all too busy screwing something else!
Answer 2: Only two, but how do you fit them inside the lightbulb?
Answer 3: It only takes one asari to screw anything!
And lastly, the elcor paradox:
An elcor says, "False statement: This is a lie." Is the elcor lying?
Please add some jokes of your own!