Guess I'm an early bird today
It's hard to tell exactly how long I've been awake, an hour, maybe two, three. Bad dream after bad dream and I just can't go back to sleep. I grabbed a very drowsy Charlie and cuddled with her and even that didn't help. Stress seems to trigger the bad dreams or make them worse. The medication is still a fairly low dose and seems to mainly be easing my social anxiety. I find it easier to talk to people, especially in situations where it's someone I've met for the first time. I'm not sure what else is changing. I seem to have several relatives who are extremely inclined to come in a package full of drama and on top of that they're just generally very unsupportive. I can't think of a single time since the accident my sister called or texted, emailed and just asked how I was doing. All I seem to hear about is how she can't have something she wants or things arent going her way about something. I can't seem to muster up the plate of sympathy she wants so she talks to me less.
When I went in for psychiactric treatment they asked who I had that I could really talk to. I replied, an old friend from high school. Shannon was only person I could think of who will openly and truly listen to everything and I don't feel like I have to hold anything back with. I realize now that's actually not a bad thing, I do have someone I can talk to. I just need to find a way to cut out the stress as much as possible from the equation. It seems to really do me in right now, physically and mentally. Which makes sense considering I've been diagnosed with a stress disorder. So frustrating. This really isn't easy.
When I went in for psychiactric treatment they asked who I had that I could really talk to. I replied, an old friend from high school. Shannon was only person I could think of who will openly and truly listen to everything and I don't feel like I have to hold anything back with. I realize now that's actually not a bad thing, I do have someone I can talk to. I just need to find a way to cut out the stress as much as possible from the equation. It seems to really do me in right now, physically and mentally. Which makes sense considering I've been diagnosed with a stress disorder. So frustrating. This really isn't easy.