Re: hm? me a little confusedmascot1April 24 2004, 09:04:17 UTC
Kate, The celibacy thing is a long process. Trust me I have still faltered with it but I am working on it day by day.
I need to explain to you about this situation. Its a confusing story but deal with me. I met Grant when I went back to the Beach Bar in 2002. We just started picking on each other in the beginning and then somehow it just became this "friends with benefits" thing, but there were other things involved too. When each of us were seeing other people it would immediatley stop but the moment that we stopped seeing someone the sex would start up almost instantaneoulsy. But, I digress.
Back to my point. Last November Grant left for the Navy and I knew that our time was finished. I dealt with it pretty well back then. In December our mutual friend Lacey told me that they had had a convo and he revealed that he was going to miss me and that his feelings ran deeper than he thought. I thought to myself, why not see what happens, the worst thing he could say is no and I would just go on with my life. Well, on Tuesday we had a party for him at Lacey's house and he broke it down like this: He would be on a ship for 6 months at a time on blackout (not knowing what the hell is going on) and if anything were to happen to him that all I would get was a letter saying that he had served his country. Kate, that was the best and the worst thing I had ever heard in my life. The best because I knew that he needed to live his life in all of his 21 year glory. The worst is that he is leaving me behind. And I can only take comfort in the words that he told me before he left the party that night: In life we all choose different paths; the key to it all is how we deal with it.
Dammit I never expected to potentially fall for someone and it just sucks and it hurts and its pain and its confusion. I still cry and I still just turn to God and the skies and my bible just to make sense of what I'm going through. Don't worry, I wont commit suicide or any shit like that, but let it be known that tears are coming a lot quicker than usual and every song that I hear on the radio just adds to that feeling. This will pass.
Im just glad that you took the time to read what was going on and to be a friend no matter how far away we both are from each other at this time. Thank you Kate, we have both been through so much with guys :-p and we both have the uncanny way of helping each other pick ourselves up and to try again. Thanks for the strength and love and thank you so much for being my friend. Call or write, Love ya much, Marsha
The celibacy thing is a long process. Trust me I have still faltered with it but I am working on it day by day.
I need to explain to you about this situation. Its a confusing story but deal with me. I met Grant when I went back to the Beach Bar in 2002. We just started picking on each other in the beginning and then somehow it just became this "friends with benefits" thing, but there were other things involved too. When each of us were seeing other people it would immediatley stop but the moment that we stopped seeing someone the sex would start up almost instantaneoulsy. But, I digress.
Back to my point. Last November Grant left for the Navy and I knew that our time was finished. I dealt with it pretty well back then. In December our mutual friend Lacey told me that they had had a convo and he revealed that he was going to miss me and that his feelings ran deeper than he thought. I thought to myself, why not see what happens, the worst thing he could say is no and I would just go on with my life. Well, on Tuesday we had a party for him at Lacey's house and he broke it down like this: He would be on a ship for 6 months at a time on blackout (not knowing what the hell is going on) and if anything were to happen to him that all I would get was a letter saying that he had served his country. Kate, that was the best and the worst thing I had ever heard in my life. The best because I knew that he needed to live his life in all of his 21 year glory. The worst is that he is leaving me behind. And I can only take comfort in the words that he told me before he left the party that night: In life we all choose different paths; the key to it all is how we deal with it.
Dammit I never expected to potentially fall for someone and it just sucks and it hurts and its pain and its confusion. I still cry and I still just turn to God and the skies and my bible just to make sense of what I'm going through. Don't worry, I wont commit suicide or any shit like that, but let it be known that tears are coming a lot quicker than usual and every song that I hear on the radio just adds to that feeling. This will pass.
Im just glad that you took the time to read what was going on and to be a friend no matter how far away we both are from each other at this time. Thank you Kate, we have both been through so much with guys :-p and we both have the uncanny way of helping each other pick ourselves up and to try again. Thanks for the strength and love and thank you so much for being my friend.
Call or write,
Love ya much,
Marsha
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