(no subject)
Title: Stars And Men
Pairing: Sam/Castiel friendship
Summary: After Sam's post-Famine detox, Castiel finds him stargazing.
A/N: So, uh, this is a gen kind of slash, I suppose I could call it. There are definite Sassy undertones, but nothing that explicit. Anyways, this is for wingsforsammy over on tumblr, as part of the Sassy exchange.
It’s the night after Sam leaves the panic room for the second time, and he has disappeared. Castiel is aware that Sam would not leave without telling someone, if only because he would never do that to Dean, so Sam’s absence isn’t too worrying. Still, for no reason he can truly pinpoint, Castiel feels that tonight Sam shouldn’t be alone. Bobby and Dean are both inside, probably asleep, so Castiel steps off the porch and ventures into the maze of cars.
It takes Castiel almost 10 minutes to find Sam in his wanderings, and even then Sam has to call out before Castiel sees him. Sam is lying in the bed of a rusted truck, arms crossed under his head. “Hey, Cas. What are you doing out here?”
“I came to find you,” Castiel says, standing next to the truck. “I didn’t think you should be alone tonight. You are not at your full strength; you should go inside.”
“I’m fine, Cas,” Sam says, turning towards Castiel with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You don’t have to be out here.”
In answer Castiel pulls himself into the truck bed, staring at Sam until the young man makes room, then laying down with his hands on his stomach and looking up at the sky. Eventually he hears Sam turn his head towards the sky as well. They lay there together for a few moments, looking at the stars, before Sam whispered “Thanks.”
“You are my friend, Sam,” Castiel replied, “I would not leave you alone.” Sam just smiles as they fall silent once more.
Eventually Sam breaks the silence. “Do you know a lot about the stars?”
Castiel nods. “Gabriel used to tell us stories of those the pagans put in the stars after their deaths. He liked to talk about Orion, the mighty and arrogant hunter. He told us that Artemis held affection for him, and Zeus didn’t approve, so he asked Gaia to send a creature that Orion couldn’t hunt to make Artemis move on. And when the scorpion Gaia sent killed Orion, Zeus placed him in the sky so that Artemis wouldn’t try to find him in the Underworld.” He smiles softly, remembering how all the young angels would crowd around as Gabriel told tales of the pagans and the humans, listening attentively.
Sam laughs. “It sounds like Orion and Dean would have gotten along well.” Sam shifts a little, rolling onto his side to look at Castiel. “Orion has always been one of my favorites. It felt like I could always pick him out of the sky, no matter where I was. The line of stars making up Orion’s belt has always leapt out at my eyes. When I was at Stanford, it felt like a kind of connection between me and my family.” Castiel can easily picture a younger Sam staring up at the stars, praying for his brother and father. “Of course, that was before I learned that God had no interest in prayers from something like me.” Sam’s tone turns self-deprecating as he falls to his back once more.
Now it is Castiel’s turn to roll over, frowning as he faces Sam. "You are human, Sam,” he says seriously. “Never doubt that.”
Sam smirks humorlessly up at him. “You do remember why I was in the panic room, right? What kind of human drinks demon blood, Cas? What kind of human can do what I did to those demons? What I did to Famine, a horseman of the apocalypse?”
“Your powers saved our lives, Sam. Both your brother’s and mine. You resisted in the powers of Famine, when I could not. You are a good man, and there is nothing inhuman about you.”
Sam snorts. “I would still call my powers inhuman, Cas. And how could you ever consider me a good man? I trusted a demon, I set Lucifer free, everyone knows me as ‘the boy with the demon blood’. Which of those stellar achievements convinced you that I’m a good man?”
“It may have taken a while, but I know that you thought you were doing the right thing,” Castiel says, reaching when Sam tries to turn away and turning him so their eyes meet. “You were pushed into a position by Heaven and Hell. Do you know how extraordinary that is, Sam? It took the combined efforts of Heaven and Hell to convince you to kill Lilith.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I did it,” Sam says, closing his eyes.
“Sam, look at me. Look at me!” Castiel says, shaking him a little. “It is not solely your fault. I was the one who let you out of the panic room. I didn’t break your brother out of the angels hold until the last minute. I knew that Lilith was the last seal, and I never warned you or your brother against killing her. Everyone was pushing you down this path, myself included, Sam. The blame for Lilith’s death does not rest on your shoulders alone. You may have been the one who pulled the trigger, but Heaven and Hell loaded and aimed the gun.”
“I figured that was you,” Sam says. “Doesn’t make it your fault, though. You opened the door, but I’m the one who stepped through it and ran straight into Ruby’s arms.”
“You were in the midst of a painful detox that was forced on you by the only people you trusted and not in your right mind,” Castiel growls. “The demon was the only being who had accepted what you were doing, even if it was for her own gain. It is perfectly understandable that she is who you would turn to when you had no one else left.” Sam opens his mouth to argue, and Castiel covers it with a hand. “I will say this as many times as I must until you believe it, Sam. You are a good man.”
Castiel repeats the words a few times, and eventually Sam nods. “Thank you,” he says softly when Castiel removes his hand. “Thank you, Cas.” A few tears leak from the corners of his eyes, and he squeezes them shut. He feels Castiel press a kiss to his forehead, and wonders where Castiel learned that; a moment later he hears the rustle of clothing as Castiel lies back down.
Castiel grabs Sam’s hand and says “You are my friend, Sam, and a good man. Believe that.” Sam smiles, and the two of them lay outside watching the stars until Sam falls asleep.
Pairing: Sam/Castiel friendship
Summary: After Sam's post-Famine detox, Castiel finds him stargazing.
A/N: So, uh, this is a gen kind of slash, I suppose I could call it. There are definite Sassy undertones, but nothing that explicit. Anyways, this is for wingsforsammy over on tumblr, as part of the Sassy exchange.
It’s the night after Sam leaves the panic room for the second time, and he has disappeared. Castiel is aware that Sam would not leave without telling someone, if only because he would never do that to Dean, so Sam’s absence isn’t too worrying. Still, for no reason he can truly pinpoint, Castiel feels that tonight Sam shouldn’t be alone. Bobby and Dean are both inside, probably asleep, so Castiel steps off the porch and ventures into the maze of cars.
It takes Castiel almost 10 minutes to find Sam in his wanderings, and even then Sam has to call out before Castiel sees him. Sam is lying in the bed of a rusted truck, arms crossed under his head. “Hey, Cas. What are you doing out here?”
“I came to find you,” Castiel says, standing next to the truck. “I didn’t think you should be alone tonight. You are not at your full strength; you should go inside.”
“I’m fine, Cas,” Sam says, turning towards Castiel with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You don’t have to be out here.”
In answer Castiel pulls himself into the truck bed, staring at Sam until the young man makes room, then laying down with his hands on his stomach and looking up at the sky. Eventually he hears Sam turn his head towards the sky as well. They lay there together for a few moments, looking at the stars, before Sam whispered “Thanks.”
“You are my friend, Sam,” Castiel replied, “I would not leave you alone.” Sam just smiles as they fall silent once more.
Eventually Sam breaks the silence. “Do you know a lot about the stars?”
Castiel nods. “Gabriel used to tell us stories of those the pagans put in the stars after their deaths. He liked to talk about Orion, the mighty and arrogant hunter. He told us that Artemis held affection for him, and Zeus didn’t approve, so he asked Gaia to send a creature that Orion couldn’t hunt to make Artemis move on. And when the scorpion Gaia sent killed Orion, Zeus placed him in the sky so that Artemis wouldn’t try to find him in the Underworld.” He smiles softly, remembering how all the young angels would crowd around as Gabriel told tales of the pagans and the humans, listening attentively.
Sam laughs. “It sounds like Orion and Dean would have gotten along well.” Sam shifts a little, rolling onto his side to look at Castiel. “Orion has always been one of my favorites. It felt like I could always pick him out of the sky, no matter where I was. The line of stars making up Orion’s belt has always leapt out at my eyes. When I was at Stanford, it felt like a kind of connection between me and my family.” Castiel can easily picture a younger Sam staring up at the stars, praying for his brother and father. “Of course, that was before I learned that God had no interest in prayers from something like me.” Sam’s tone turns self-deprecating as he falls to his back once more.
Now it is Castiel’s turn to roll over, frowning as he faces Sam. "You are human, Sam,” he says seriously. “Never doubt that.”
Sam smirks humorlessly up at him. “You do remember why I was in the panic room, right? What kind of human drinks demon blood, Cas? What kind of human can do what I did to those demons? What I did to Famine, a horseman of the apocalypse?”
“Your powers saved our lives, Sam. Both your brother’s and mine. You resisted in the powers of Famine, when I could not. You are a good man, and there is nothing inhuman about you.”
Sam snorts. “I would still call my powers inhuman, Cas. And how could you ever consider me a good man? I trusted a demon, I set Lucifer free, everyone knows me as ‘the boy with the demon blood’. Which of those stellar achievements convinced you that I’m a good man?”
“It may have taken a while, but I know that you thought you were doing the right thing,” Castiel says, reaching when Sam tries to turn away and turning him so their eyes meet. “You were pushed into a position by Heaven and Hell. Do you know how extraordinary that is, Sam? It took the combined efforts of Heaven and Hell to convince you to kill Lilith.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I did it,” Sam says, closing his eyes.
“Sam, look at me. Look at me!” Castiel says, shaking him a little. “It is not solely your fault. I was the one who let you out of the panic room. I didn’t break your brother out of the angels hold until the last minute. I knew that Lilith was the last seal, and I never warned you or your brother against killing her. Everyone was pushing you down this path, myself included, Sam. The blame for Lilith’s death does not rest on your shoulders alone. You may have been the one who pulled the trigger, but Heaven and Hell loaded and aimed the gun.”
“I figured that was you,” Sam says. “Doesn’t make it your fault, though. You opened the door, but I’m the one who stepped through it and ran straight into Ruby’s arms.”
“You were in the midst of a painful detox that was forced on you by the only people you trusted and not in your right mind,” Castiel growls. “The demon was the only being who had accepted what you were doing, even if it was for her own gain. It is perfectly understandable that she is who you would turn to when you had no one else left.” Sam opens his mouth to argue, and Castiel covers it with a hand. “I will say this as many times as I must until you believe it, Sam. You are a good man.”
Castiel repeats the words a few times, and eventually Sam nods. “Thank you,” he says softly when Castiel removes his hand. “Thank you, Cas.” A few tears leak from the corners of his eyes, and he squeezes them shut. He feels Castiel press a kiss to his forehead, and wonders where Castiel learned that; a moment later he hears the rustle of clothing as Castiel lies back down.
Castiel grabs Sam’s hand and says “You are my friend, Sam, and a good man. Believe that.” Sam smiles, and the two of them lay outside watching the stars until Sam falls asleep.