Oh Harry, you poor, poor bastard. Even you Draco, didn't deserve this...
I've decided to jump back into a fandom I love, but have neglected for several years. This, is the first thing I happen upon. And it hurts me. Unless it is a troll, in which case I am in love with the author and the second she writes another I'll be first in line. XD
Story Or Series Title: My Bleeding Crimson Dispair Seriously.
Fandom: Harry Potter.
Culprit Author's Name: DrakosGurl161 Because she thinks that Harry and "Draco/Drako", (Draco's befuddled twin brother I think, the poor sod was captured after Draco made a frenzied attempt to escape this Sueauthor's clutches), are, "TTLY HAWT!"
Full Name (plus titles if any): Kaytlynn Potter, (The name of the Sueauthor.)
Full Species(es): Flying panther, (without wings), Seer-Extraordinaré, Metamorphagus, Human, Superbly-amazingly-WOWZAHZ-Quidditch player.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "Her raven hair swirled around her ivory shoulders."
Eye Color (include adjectives): Colour-changing BIOTCH!
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Well, having the Animagus power to transform into a FLYING PANTHER kinda counts........
Special Possessions (if any): Harry Potter as her Dad, (and lover), Draco/Drako as her baby-daddy. She's fifteen.
Annoying Origin: ORPHAN! Baaawwwwwwwwwww's about it all the damn time in the first chapter.....apparently Harry could tell that she was an orphan the SECOND HE SAW HER ON HIS DOORSTEP LIEK OMG! X_X As an orphan, I find this offensive, we don't all wander round with a sign, or in rags.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Daughter of Harry, (adoptive), Draco/Drako's baby-momma, Snape's only sympathy-garnering student.
Annoying Special Abilities: Metamorphagus, (not annoying on it's own but....), Flying-panther Animagus, Amazing Quidditch-player, REALLY REALLY WOW SMART! Student, turns invisible at will, flies, ect....
Other Annoying Traits: OH GOD! I can't list them ALL!
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: (Do NOT post more than half of a chapter, whole chapters, or whole stories, regardless of how short they are)
I shall have to show several. Let's start with the Chapter Titles yes?
1: Ebony Anger Of A Broken Dream.
2: Frenzied Battle Agaisnt Chaos.
3: Tidal Waves Of Crashing Dispair.
4: The Fiery Resentment In My Heart.
5: A Beach Of Sandy Relinquish.
6: Bleeding Hearts Bleed.
A veritable buffet of anger/angst/whining. First clue of a troll, but, then again, I've seen worse in the title's for "Lean On Me", which isn't a troll. Just LOOK at the wisdom in the last title.
Canon-Defyment.
(I'm all for Canon-Bending, and I don't mind some, where the OC is inserted into the storyline, but not in a manic, I'LL HEAL YOU ALL LIKE THE MACGUYVER OF LOVE!!!)
Harry Potter: I can totally believe that he would adopt a child, seriously, he's that nice. What I can't believe is that he would then try to shag her when she was fifteen. Not even when she got even older than that. Just. No. He also is in love with Draco/Drako, they too, shag.
Draco/Drako Malfoy: He now writes sad poems about "how much he hates his life," which are then read out by him at the beginning of a school year before the Sorting Hat. He also now swears things on his "tightest leather pants and his blackest of black nailpolish." In addition to this, he shags Kaytlynn and get's her pregnant. Again, I stress, she's fifteen. He is also in "tru love" with Harry, they shag.
Voldemort/The Dark Lord: Lives in a dark castle, beyond a dark forest, in a dark room, lit by dark candles. He now has a passion for ice-cream sundaes. His dark castle is generally reffered to as "Somewhere Else".
Writing Style.
The grammar is correct in most places and there are very few spelling mistakes, but it is interspersed with.....Authors notes. Yes. THAT. It is also dripping in the angst-juice of forty different poems/songs that Kaytlynn or Draco/Drako have written and sobbed/cut about.
SNIPPETS TIME!
The door opened. Harry Potter (OMG HARRY!) stuck his head out. "Who is it?" he asked. The girl could not answer, for she had already fainted from exhaustion. Harry could tell that she was an orphan (How? He's Harry, duh!) Yes, brilliant rationalisation there.. He knew what it was like to be unwanted. He and Ginny had found out from the doctor last week that they would never have a child. This girl could be the answer to their prayers. He bent to pick up the limp body. As he cradled her in his arms, Harry whispered, "You shall be my daughter. And your name shall be…Kaytlynn…" Heeeey, isn't that the author's name?
~XxX~
His loving gaze was interrupted by the arrival of their daughter. Although his wife was beautiful, Harry knew that Kaytlynn was far more attractive. Whut? This was partly because she was a Metamorphmagus-although (of course) she was naturally gorgeous. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT They had decided that it would be best if she looked at least a little like her adopted parents, so Kaytlynn had chosen to assume a form that was closer to Harry's. Her ebony tresses flowed down to her waist in gentle ringlets, framing her delicate face perfectly. She had a beautiful mouth with full lips, and a slim, straight nose. She was wearing a short skirt that revealed her long, perfect legs, high-heeled sandals, and a black top that was low-cut enough to make her parents uncomfortable. HOLD UP! Isn't there a, y'know, UNIFORM for Hogwarts?! Her emerald eyes sparkled with joy (Pay attention to her eyes through the story. It's so cool!) No. No it isn't. They change colour to suit her mood. That's insane. And I say that as a hetero-chromically eyed girl.. In short, she was prettier than a supermodel. Kaytlynn wore no makeup-she didn't need makeup. ........PPPPFFFFFTTT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. *headdesk's while cackling like the Joker.*
~XxX~
"Are you ready to go?" Harry asked, ripping his eyes away from his exquisite daughter. Is that why you try and shag her later Harry? She nodded, said a quick farewell to Ginny, and slid into the car.
~XxX~
Kaytlynn nodded sagely. "I see." She opened her mouth and sang in clear tones:
"Why do we lose the ones we love?
Only to see them as angels
Glowing with celestial light
The bright dawn of love."
Harry wiped a tear of anger from the corner of his eye and whispered hissed murderously, "That wasn't at all beautiful. Thank you for nothing, Kaytlynn. "
~XxX~
Forced to swallow his pride, Draco had accepted a position as the Flying professor and Quidditch coach. But that meant that every day at breakfast, he would have to see the one person he hated the most…Potter… Believable.
Not to mention having to teach Potter's daughter. Draco knew that there was something strange about Kaytlynn Potter. He would have bet his tightest leather pants and his blackest nailpolish on it. ...........*facepalm* That was why he fixed his eyes on her as he stood to deliver his yearly poem.
McGonnagal, the headmistress, had allowed him this one honor at least. In addition to the Sorting Hat's song, one of Draco's poems was performed each year. He knew that it was because she felt sorry for him; still, it made him feel better to have an audience other than an unwilling publisher that kept refusing him. Nononononononono....DON'T DO IT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DRACO!
He cleared his throat and glared around at the students. Many of the girls (and boys) were besotted with his silvery hair and stormy gray eyes. But he hated them all. Draco knew that no one could ever quench the fiery resentment that burned in his heart. Whut now?
"This is a poem that I wrote," he said, "about how much I hate life." "Life? Don't talk to me about Life."
Hatred burns in me
Devouring everything
Death has eaten all that I cared about
.......Luuuuuuurvely........
~XxX~
Before Kaytlynn could answer, Professor Snape interrupted with, "I think I have an explanation. Kaytlynn is obviously a powerful witch. Aren't they all Snape? Aren't all the Mary-Sues "The Most Powerful" witch? We should make them fight, then we'll find the "Most Powerful." She is a natural metamorphmagus, and she had no trouble becoming an animagus over the summer, OVER THE SUMMER?! WHAT THE FRACK NOW?! from what her father tells me. The potion simply awakened a dormant power that already existed."
~XxX~
The door to his office creaked open and Kaytlynn walked in. As always, Harry was astounded by how sexy his daughter was. *Rolls up a newspaper* BAD HARRY! NO! *Hits him on the nose.*
~XxX~
And suddenly, Harry knew that this was what he had always dreamed of. Kaytlynn coming into his office, confessing her true, deep love for him. He would be able to leave Ginny and marry Kaytlynn. They would grow old together and have babies. It would be great! You do realise that she's your Daughter right? And she's fifteen? And you're thirty-something in this fic?
"Kaytlynn," he replied, "So am I."
Harry reached across the desk, grabbed Kaytlynn's shoulders, and kissed her. He even put his tongue in her mouth! They kissed passionately until Kaytlynn pushed him away.
"What are you doing?" she yelled. "You can't kiss me, you're my father!"
Harry blushed with shame at the mistake he had just made. "I thought…I thought that you were in love with me…"
"No! I'm not in love with you!" She stood up and started pacing around the room, crying angrily. "Can't I ask for advice from my father without having to make out with him?" Ahh yes, that common teenage problem that we can ALL relate to.
"I'm sorry!" he said. "I'm so sorry, Kaytlynn…"
"I don't love you!" she screamed. "I'm in love with Draco Malfoy, so fuck you!" OOoooOOoo BURN! Wait, isn't he thirty-something in this too?!
Kaytlynn turned around and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Harry stared after her and started to cry. ....Wuss.
~XxX~
"Sorry," Kaytlynn whimpered. She swiped a hand across her eyes. "Eve, you're my friend, right?"
"Um…okay, we'll go with that." HA! I like her.
"Well, I'm in love. And my dad thought I was in love with him. And I think he's in love with me. But I'm not in love with him, I'm in love with Draco Malfoy. And I don't think Professor Malfoy's in love with me." Kaytlynn sobbed one last time and wiped her eyes. She looked so sad and lost that Eve felt a little bad for her. NO! I LIKED YOU! DAMNIT! DON'T FALL PREY TO THE SUE!
"Look, that sucks," Eve said. "Why don't you go tell Professor Malfoy how you feel? He's a cool guy. Writes good poetry. Sort of like you. Well, not really, but sort of." She patted Kaytlynn's shoulder awkwardly.
Kaytlynn looked at her suspiciously and asked, "You're not in love with me, too, are you?" Oh how modest.
~XxX~
Just like Harry, Draco was grading papers. He graded papers really, really sexily. Well, how does that work? When Kaytlynn walked in, she was completely overcome with love. He was so beautiful with his silver hair and black eyeliner. HOLD UP ONE MISSISSIPPI MINUTE! EYELINER?! On Draco/Drako? Yeesh.... His silvery eyes flicked up to look at her.
"What do you want?" he asked.
For a moment, Kaytlynn was speechless. He just looked so sexy and tortured! (OMG I LOVE DRACO!1) "If you love it, let is go, if it returns 'twas meant to be." HE'LL NEVER COME BACK! Then she said, "Professor Malfoy, I'm in love with you."
He opened his mouth to say, "You could never quench the fiery resentment that burns in my heart," Wow, that's one hell of a pontification. but then he realized that he was wrong! All of a sudden, he realized that Kaytlynn may be just the right person to heal his soul. HOLY CARP ON A TUNA'S BACK! THAT WAS FRAKKING FAST!
So instead, he said, "I love you, too, Kaytlynn. Come here."
She came over to his desk. He pushed her down so that she was lying on his desk and they started to make out. Slowly, they took off each other's clothes and started to have sex. Kaytlynn felt soooo good, doing it with her true love. I pity you, you've never know ANY form of kindness.........OH WELL! I'm not going to join your pity party princess. She was so in love with Draco that it hurt.
~XxX~
"I'm with a class!" Malfoy snarled. Harry opened the door anyway, marching past the rows of stunned second years.
"If you ever touch my daughter again, I'll kill you!" he yelled. So, you're the only one allowed to attempt to shag her? And you're her FATHER? I could make a highly offensive reference here, but I have no wish to offened anyone other than the Sueauthor.
Malfoy held up his hands in surrender. "Give me a chance to explain. You don't understand."
"Oh, I understand! She's 15, you perv!" POT-KETTLE-BLACK MUCH?!?!
"Can't we talk about this alone?"
"No!"
"Fine, then," Malfoy sighed. "Potter, there's something I have to tell you. I don't love Kaytlynn. I'm bisexual. I love both of you." Oh Jeezus on a tap-dancing llama......
"Really?" Harry asked as the second years gasped. YOUNG MINDS ON THE LINE HERE GUYS! IF THERE'S GOING TO BE BUTT-SECKS, DON'T DO IT IN FRONT OF THE TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS!!!
"Really."
Harry smiled. "Oh, well that's fine." And in front of the second years, they shared a kiss of passion, leading on to something more.... Five seconds ago, when Draco had made his confession, Harry had realized that what he had always thought of as hatred toward Draco had really been deep, tru love. And he realised this after five seconds?! The land-speed record for "Tru Love" had just been smashed! SOMEBODY CALL THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!! WE'VE GOT A DOOZY! In his head, the classroom melted away, leaving behind only the two of them…BUT IT ISN'T JUST THE TWO OF YOU! THERE ARE TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS IN THE ROOM WITH YOU YOU PERVERTS! DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO SHAG IN FRONT OF THEM!?
~XxX~
Kaytlynn woke up gasping for air. Her stomach felt hot…strange…funny…This year had been really weird so far. Damn right it has. She needed to get out, go do something. Kaytlynn got out of bed, her porcelin skin glimmering against her ebony lacy neglige. So many travesties in one sentence...... She walked out of the Gryffindor dormitories and went to the astronomy tower.
Once she was as high as she could go, Kaytlynn turned into her Animagus form-a flying panther. YOU LIE! YOU LIE LIKE A RUG! THERE IS NO SUCH THING!! Although she had no wings, Kaytlynn hovered above the Forbidden Forest, her sleek raven coat almost as beautiful as her turbulently topaz eyes. Alliteration, oy vey.....
Why does Daddy have to love me so? Why must Draco and me have such a doomed romance? Why am I having such strange dreams? I know I'm special, but must I be this special? Special in the head methinks.... Do I have a special destiny? Am I here because the deluded Sueauthor wants to be me? She thought.
When she landed again and turned back into a human, the hot feeling in her stomach started again. Then something strange happened! Kaytlynn's flat belly grew round, almost as if she was…
"Pregnant?" she whispered. Or, y'know, eating to many pumpkin pasties.
~XxX~
"Guys, I think I'm pregnant," Kaytlynn told Ian and Chuck during breakfast. I was unaware that you did think.....
Ian looked highly uncomfortable. "Er…who is…"
"The father? I can never tell. I would hate to get him in trouble." Kaytlynn felt really, really sad. Her anguish knew no bounds. She had only slept with Draco one time! How could this have happened! Kaytlynn was afraid that the entire school would hate her and think she was a ho, but everyone understood, even Snape. OKAY! Now I know you're lying.
But Harry was sure he knew who the father was. But Harry wasn't too mad, cause he was sleeping with Draco too and now he realized how sexy and irresistable Draco was. ......PPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT.......
Draco was not happy. He did not want to be a father because when he was little Lucius beat him with that sexy cane. The only truth in this thing, Lucius's pimp cane is sexy. Draco was tormented by the idea that he too would become a child-beating Malfoy, so he started slitting his wrists, which he hadn't done in a month. *cough My Immortal /cough* Even though everyone understood what she was going through, Kaytlynn slit her wrists too because she was so tortured by being a teenage mother. Which, isn't good for the baby AT ALL. Her songs got darker and darker.
This leech inside me
Feeding on my torment
Cut my belly open
And rip me apart
~Ava is...........more clinical than usual, because she's had to detatch herself from thie HORRIBLE in this fic X_X She will be back for her next one though.......
Story Or Series Title: My Bleeding Crimson Dispair Seriously.
Fandom: Harry Potter.
Culprit Author's Name: DrakosGurl161 Because she thinks that Harry and "Draco/Drako", (Draco's befuddled twin brother I think, the poor sod was captured after Draco made a frenzied attempt to escape this Sueauthor's clutches), are, "TTLY HAWT!"
Full Name (plus titles if any): Kaytlynn Potter, (The name of the Sueauthor.)
Full Species(es): Flying panther, (without wings), Seer-Extraordinaré, Metamorphagus, Human, Superbly-amazingly-WOWZAHZ-Quidditch player.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "Her raven hair swirled around her ivory shoulders."
Eye Color (include adjectives): Colour-changing BIOTCH!
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Well, having the Animagus power to transform into a FLYING PANTHER kinda counts........
Special Possessions (if any): Harry Potter as her Dad, (and lover), Draco/Drako as her baby-daddy. She's fifteen.
Annoying Origin: ORPHAN! Baaawwwwwwwwwww's about it all the damn time in the first chapter.....apparently Harry could tell that she was an orphan the SECOND HE SAW HER ON HIS DOORSTEP LIEK OMG! X_X As an orphan, I find this offensive, we don't all wander round with a sign, or in rags.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Daughter of Harry, (adoptive), Draco/Drako's baby-momma, Snape's only sympathy-garnering student.
Annoying Special Abilities: Metamorphagus, (not annoying on it's own but....), Flying-panther Animagus, Amazing Quidditch-player, REALLY REALLY WOW SMART! Student, turns invisible at will, flies, ect....
Other Annoying Traits: OH GOD! I can't list them ALL!
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: (Do NOT post more than half of a chapter, whole chapters, or whole stories, regardless of how short they are)
I shall have to show several. Let's start with the Chapter Titles yes?
1: Ebony Anger Of A Broken Dream.
2: Frenzied Battle Agaisnt Chaos.
3: Tidal Waves Of Crashing Dispair.
4: The Fiery Resentment In My Heart.
5: A Beach Of Sandy Relinquish.
6: Bleeding Hearts Bleed.
A veritable buffet of anger/angst/whining. First clue of a troll, but, then again, I've seen worse in the title's for "Lean On Me", which isn't a troll. Just LOOK at the wisdom in the last title.
Canon-Defyment.
(I'm all for Canon-Bending, and I don't mind some, where the OC is inserted into the storyline, but not in a manic, I'LL HEAL YOU ALL LIKE THE MACGUYVER OF LOVE!!!)
Harry Potter: I can totally believe that he would adopt a child, seriously, he's that nice. What I can't believe is that he would then try to shag her when she was fifteen. Not even when she got even older than that. Just. No. He also is in love with Draco/Drako, they too, shag.
Draco/Drako Malfoy: He now writes sad poems about "how much he hates his life," which are then read out by him at the beginning of a school year before the Sorting Hat. He also now swears things on his "tightest leather pants and his blackest of black nailpolish." In addition to this, he shags Kaytlynn and get's her pregnant. Again, I stress, she's fifteen. He is also in "tru love" with Harry, they shag.
Voldemort/The Dark Lord: Lives in a dark castle, beyond a dark forest, in a dark room, lit by dark candles. He now has a passion for ice-cream sundaes. His dark castle is generally reffered to as "Somewhere Else".
Writing Style.
The grammar is correct in most places and there are very few spelling mistakes, but it is interspersed with.....Authors notes. Yes. THAT. It is also dripping in the angst-juice of forty different poems/songs that Kaytlynn or Draco/Drako have written and sobbed/cut about.
SNIPPETS TIME!
The door opened. Harry Potter (OMG HARRY!) stuck his head out. "Who is it?" he asked. The girl could not answer, for she had already fainted from exhaustion. Harry could tell that she was an orphan (How? He's Harry, duh!) Yes, brilliant rationalisation there.. He knew what it was like to be unwanted. He and Ginny had found out from the doctor last week that they would never have a child. This girl could be the answer to their prayers. He bent to pick up the limp body. As he cradled her in his arms, Harry whispered, "You shall be my daughter. And your name shall be…Kaytlynn…" Heeeey, isn't that the author's name?
~XxX~
His loving gaze was interrupted by the arrival of their daughter. Although his wife was beautiful, Harry knew that Kaytlynn was far more attractive. Whut? This was partly because she was a Metamorphmagus-although (of course) she was naturally gorgeous. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT They had decided that it would be best if she looked at least a little like her adopted parents, so Kaytlynn had chosen to assume a form that was closer to Harry's. Her ebony tresses flowed down to her waist in gentle ringlets, framing her delicate face perfectly. She had a beautiful mouth with full lips, and a slim, straight nose. She was wearing a short skirt that revealed her long, perfect legs, high-heeled sandals, and a black top that was low-cut enough to make her parents uncomfortable. HOLD UP! Isn't there a, y'know, UNIFORM for Hogwarts?! Her emerald eyes sparkled with joy (Pay attention to her eyes through the story. It's so cool!) No. No it isn't. They change colour to suit her mood. That's insane. And I say that as a hetero-chromically eyed girl.. In short, she was prettier than a supermodel. Kaytlynn wore no makeup-she didn't need makeup. ........PPPPFFFFFTTT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA. *headdesk's while cackling like the Joker.*
~XxX~
"Are you ready to go?" Harry asked, ripping his eyes away from his exquisite daughter. Is that why you try and shag her later Harry? She nodded, said a quick farewell to Ginny, and slid into the car.
~XxX~
Kaytlynn nodded sagely. "I see." She opened her mouth and sang in clear tones:
"Why do we lose the ones we love?
Only to see them as angels
Glowing with celestial light
The bright dawn of love."
Harry wiped a tear of anger from the corner of his eye and whispered hissed murderously, "That wasn't at all beautiful. Thank you for nothing, Kaytlynn. "
~XxX~
Forced to swallow his pride, Draco had accepted a position as the Flying professor and Quidditch coach. But that meant that every day at breakfast, he would have to see the one person he hated the most…Potter… Believable.
Not to mention having to teach Potter's daughter. Draco knew that there was something strange about Kaytlynn Potter. He would have bet his tightest leather pants and his blackest nailpolish on it. ...........*facepalm* That was why he fixed his eyes on her as he stood to deliver his yearly poem.
McGonnagal, the headmistress, had allowed him this one honor at least. In addition to the Sorting Hat's song, one of Draco's poems was performed each year. He knew that it was because she felt sorry for him; still, it made him feel better to have an audience other than an unwilling publisher that kept refusing him. Nononononononono....DON'T DO IT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DRACO!
He cleared his throat and glared around at the students. Many of the girls (and boys) were besotted with his silvery hair and stormy gray eyes. But he hated them all. Draco knew that no one could ever quench the fiery resentment that burned in his heart. Whut now?
"This is a poem that I wrote," he said, "about how much I hate life." "Life? Don't talk to me about Life."
Hatred burns in me
Devouring everything
Death has eaten all that I cared about
.......Luuuuuuurvely........
~XxX~
Before Kaytlynn could answer, Professor Snape interrupted with, "I think I have an explanation. Kaytlynn is obviously a powerful witch. Aren't they all Snape? Aren't all the Mary-Sues "The Most Powerful" witch? We should make them fight, then we'll find the "Most Powerful." She is a natural metamorphmagus, and she had no trouble becoming an animagus over the summer, OVER THE SUMMER?! WHAT THE FRACK NOW?! from what her father tells me. The potion simply awakened a dormant power that already existed."
~XxX~
The door to his office creaked open and Kaytlynn walked in. As always, Harry was astounded by how sexy his daughter was. *Rolls up a newspaper* BAD HARRY! NO! *Hits him on the nose.*
~XxX~
And suddenly, Harry knew that this was what he had always dreamed of. Kaytlynn coming into his office, confessing her true, deep love for him. He would be able to leave Ginny and marry Kaytlynn. They would grow old together and have babies. It would be great! You do realise that she's your Daughter right? And she's fifteen? And you're thirty-something in this fic?
"Kaytlynn," he replied, "So am I."
Harry reached across the desk, grabbed Kaytlynn's shoulders, and kissed her. He even put his tongue in her mouth! They kissed passionately until Kaytlynn pushed him away.
"What are you doing?" she yelled. "You can't kiss me, you're my father!"
Harry blushed with shame at the mistake he had just made. "I thought…I thought that you were in love with me…"
"No! I'm not in love with you!" She stood up and started pacing around the room, crying angrily. "Can't I ask for advice from my father without having to make out with him?" Ahh yes, that common teenage problem that we can ALL relate to.
"I'm sorry!" he said. "I'm so sorry, Kaytlynn…"
"I don't love you!" she screamed. "I'm in love with Draco Malfoy, so fuck you!" OOoooOOoo BURN! Wait, isn't he thirty-something in this too?!
Kaytlynn turned around and ran out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Harry stared after her and started to cry. ....Wuss.
~XxX~
"Sorry," Kaytlynn whimpered. She swiped a hand across her eyes. "Eve, you're my friend, right?"
"Um…okay, we'll go with that." HA! I like her.
"Well, I'm in love. And my dad thought I was in love with him. And I think he's in love with me. But I'm not in love with him, I'm in love with Draco Malfoy. And I don't think Professor Malfoy's in love with me." Kaytlynn sobbed one last time and wiped her eyes. She looked so sad and lost that Eve felt a little bad for her. NO! I LIKED YOU! DAMNIT! DON'T FALL PREY TO THE SUE!
"Look, that sucks," Eve said. "Why don't you go tell Professor Malfoy how you feel? He's a cool guy. Writes good poetry. Sort of like you. Well, not really, but sort of." She patted Kaytlynn's shoulder awkwardly.
Kaytlynn looked at her suspiciously and asked, "You're not in love with me, too, are you?" Oh how modest.
~XxX~
Just like Harry, Draco was grading papers. He graded papers really, really sexily. Well, how does that work? When Kaytlynn walked in, she was completely overcome with love. He was so beautiful with his silver hair and black eyeliner. HOLD UP ONE MISSISSIPPI MINUTE! EYELINER?! On Draco/Drako? Yeesh.... His silvery eyes flicked up to look at her.
"What do you want?" he asked.
For a moment, Kaytlynn was speechless. He just looked so sexy and tortured! (OMG I LOVE DRACO!1) "If you love it, let is go, if it returns 'twas meant to be." HE'LL NEVER COME BACK! Then she said, "Professor Malfoy, I'm in love with you."
He opened his mouth to say, "You could never quench the fiery resentment that burns in my heart," Wow, that's one hell of a pontification. but then he realized that he was wrong! All of a sudden, he realized that Kaytlynn may be just the right person to heal his soul. HOLY CARP ON A TUNA'S BACK! THAT WAS FRAKKING FAST!
So instead, he said, "I love you, too, Kaytlynn. Come here."
She came over to his desk. He pushed her down so that she was lying on his desk and they started to make out. Slowly, they took off each other's clothes and started to have sex. Kaytlynn felt soooo good, doing it with her true love. I pity you, you've never know ANY form of kindness.........OH WELL! I'm not going to join your pity party princess. She was so in love with Draco that it hurt.
~XxX~
"I'm with a class!" Malfoy snarled. Harry opened the door anyway, marching past the rows of stunned second years.
"If you ever touch my daughter again, I'll kill you!" he yelled. So, you're the only one allowed to attempt to shag her? And you're her FATHER? I could make a highly offensive reference here, but I have no wish to offened anyone other than the Sueauthor.
Malfoy held up his hands in surrender. "Give me a chance to explain. You don't understand."
"Oh, I understand! She's 15, you perv!" POT-KETTLE-BLACK MUCH?!?!
"Can't we talk about this alone?"
"No!"
"Fine, then," Malfoy sighed. "Potter, there's something I have to tell you. I don't love Kaytlynn. I'm bisexual. I love both of you." Oh Jeezus on a tap-dancing llama......
"Really?" Harry asked as the second years gasped. YOUNG MINDS ON THE LINE HERE GUYS! IF THERE'S GOING TO BE BUTT-SECKS, DON'T DO IT IN FRONT OF THE TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS!!!
"Really."
Harry smiled. "Oh, well that's fine." And in front of the second years, they shared a kiss of passion, leading on to something more.... Five seconds ago, when Draco had made his confession, Harry had realized that what he had always thought of as hatred toward Draco had really been deep, tru love. And he realised this after five seconds?! The land-speed record for "Tru Love" had just been smashed! SOMEBODY CALL THE GUINESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS!! WE'VE GOT A DOOZY! In his head, the classroom melted away, leaving behind only the two of them…BUT IT ISN'T JUST THE TWO OF YOU! THERE ARE TWELVE-YEAR-OLDS IN THE ROOM WITH YOU YOU PERVERTS! DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO SHAG IN FRONT OF THEM!?
~XxX~
Kaytlynn woke up gasping for air. Her stomach felt hot…strange…funny…This year had been really weird so far. Damn right it has. She needed to get out, go do something. Kaytlynn got out of bed, her porcelin skin glimmering against her ebony lacy neglige. So many travesties in one sentence...... She walked out of the Gryffindor dormitories and went to the astronomy tower.
Once she was as high as she could go, Kaytlynn turned into her Animagus form-a flying panther. YOU LIE! YOU LIE LIKE A RUG! THERE IS NO SUCH THING!! Although she had no wings, Kaytlynn hovered above the Forbidden Forest, her sleek raven coat almost as beautiful as her turbulently topaz eyes. Alliteration, oy vey.....
Why does Daddy have to love me so? Why must Draco and me have such a doomed romance? Why am I having such strange dreams? I know I'm special, but must I be this special? Special in the head methinks.... Do I have a special destiny? Am I here because the deluded Sueauthor wants to be me? She thought.
When she landed again and turned back into a human, the hot feeling in her stomach started again. Then something strange happened! Kaytlynn's flat belly grew round, almost as if she was…
"Pregnant?" she whispered. Or, y'know, eating to many pumpkin pasties.
~XxX~
"Guys, I think I'm pregnant," Kaytlynn told Ian and Chuck during breakfast. I was unaware that you did think.....
Ian looked highly uncomfortable. "Er…who is…"
"The father? I can never tell. I would hate to get him in trouble." Kaytlynn felt really, really sad. Her anguish knew no bounds. She had only slept with Draco one time! How could this have happened! Kaytlynn was afraid that the entire school would hate her and think she was a ho, but everyone understood, even Snape. OKAY! Now I know you're lying.
But Harry was sure he knew who the father was. But Harry wasn't too mad, cause he was sleeping with Draco too and now he realized how sexy and irresistable Draco was. ......PPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT.......
Draco was not happy. He did not want to be a father because when he was little Lucius beat him with that sexy cane. The only truth in this thing, Lucius's pimp cane is sexy. Draco was tormented by the idea that he too would become a child-beating Malfoy, so he started slitting his wrists, which he hadn't done in a month. *cough My Immortal /cough* Even though everyone understood what she was going through, Kaytlynn slit her wrists too because she was so tortured by being a teenage mother. Which, isn't good for the baby AT ALL. Her songs got darker and darker.
This leech inside me
Feeding on my torment
Cut my belly open
And rip me apart
~Ava is...........more clinical than usual, because she's had to detatch herself from thie HORRIBLE in this fic X_X She will be back for her next one though.......