*whimper* The stupidity HURTS, Mommy!
Knock one off the list of Sue-less fandoms.
God, I just had to go and look, didn't I...
Story or Series Title: Realm Relocation
Fandom: Discworld (sob)
Culprit's Author's Name: Acsid (You have no idea how tempted I was to not strike out "Culprit").
Full Name: Gaki Edwards.
...
Well, at least she didn't use a pretty name?
Full Species(es): Sue, hybrid of the subspecies Puella moderna spunkiana and Puella moderna centraquestis. Technically human, but that is only a cunning disguise!
Hair Colour: Not mentioned- but the story's only one, very short, chapter long.
Eye Colour: See above.
Unusual Markings/Colourations: "Her features slowly melted to those of an attractive, if unnerving woman in her late twenties." I am actually not sure what that means, and I do not think I want to know.
Unusual Possessions: Knowledge SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE (see below).
Annoying Origin: Earth. She dies, and gets taken to Discworld and reincarnated.
You may pause to gouge you eyes out now. Be sure you have someone near you to read the rest of this.
Annoying Connections to Canon Connections: Picked up by Death and taken to the Discworld. She's read the Discworld books. She decides to become an Assassin in Ankh-Morpork.
Annoying Special Abilities: None mentioned yet, but the knowledge is more than enough.
Other Annoying Traits: These are actually the story, not Gaki. It's painfully, painfully stupid.
She is old, technically, but she has never thought of herself as old and she exercises regularly. Despite this she is miserable.
How does exercise not make you miserable?
She had always been sure when she was young that something was going to happen any day now. But she had waited many days and it hadn’t happened.
Nothing has ever happened to her. Ever. Because obviously walking down the street and thinking, which is what she's doing in this scene, doesn't count as things happening.
YOUR REQUESTS HAVE BEEN PROCESSED. YOU ARE BEING REMOVED TO THE DISC FOR REINCARNATION. She started to follow Death, for that’s who the figure was, to his horse. “B-but what request? Will I be a ghost? A zombie? How…” Death cut her off at this point and hoisted her onto Binky’s back. YOU WILL NOT BE DEAD. YOU WILL REMAIN THE AGE YOU ARE NOW FOR YOUR CONVINIENCE. AND YOU HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR QUITE A WHILE TO BE REMOVED. Gaki Edwards fell silent and as Binky charged across space and time her grin grew wider and wider. As she and Death came to hover over the disc he informed her politely, YOU WILL BE PROVIDED FOR WITH A SMALL SUM OF MONEY, AND A PROFESSION TO GET YOU STARTED. WHAT JOB WOULD YOU LIKE, AND WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DROPPED?
Therefore eliminating all those inconvenient childhood years, as well as the need to find money. Sweet frick, this is some of the laziest writing I've ever seen.
Death wondered to himself as he rode away what she could have meant by “Earth”.
Oh, of course. Death, who is everywhere in the universe and just went to that planet to pick up her dead form, wouldn't know where Earth is.
Goddamn, this infuriates me. I think my relation to Pratchett's books is like the relationship some people here have with various anime fandoms. You just don't do this.
Damn it.
God, I just had to go and look, didn't I...
Story or Series Title: Realm Relocation
Fandom: Discworld (sob)
Culprit's Author's Name: Acsid (You have no idea how tempted I was to not strike out "Culprit").
Full Name: Gaki Edwards.
...
Well, at least she didn't use a pretty name?
Full Species(es): Sue, hybrid of the subspecies Puella moderna spunkiana and Puella moderna centraquestis. Technically human, but that is only a cunning disguise!
Hair Colour: Not mentioned- but the story's only one, very short, chapter long.
Eye Colour: See above.
Unusual Markings/Colourations: "Her features slowly melted to those of an attractive, if unnerving woman in her late twenties." I am actually not sure what that means, and I do not think I want to know.
Unusual Possessions: Knowledge SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE (see below).
Annoying Origin: Earth. She dies, and gets taken to Discworld and reincarnated.
You may pause to gouge you eyes out now. Be sure you have someone near you to read the rest of this.
Annoying Connections to Canon Connections: Picked up by Death and taken to the Discworld. She's read the Discworld books. She decides to become an Assassin in Ankh-Morpork.
Annoying Special Abilities: None mentioned yet, but the knowledge is more than enough.
Other Annoying Traits: These are actually the story, not Gaki. It's painfully, painfully stupid.
She is old, technically, but she has never thought of herself as old and she exercises regularly. Despite this she is miserable.
How does exercise not make you miserable?
She had always been sure when she was young that something was going to happen any day now. But she had waited many days and it hadn’t happened.
Nothing has ever happened to her. Ever. Because obviously walking down the street and thinking, which is what she's doing in this scene, doesn't count as things happening.
YOUR REQUESTS HAVE BEEN PROCESSED. YOU ARE BEING REMOVED TO THE DISC FOR REINCARNATION. She started to follow Death, for that’s who the figure was, to his horse. “B-but what request? Will I be a ghost? A zombie? How…” Death cut her off at this point and hoisted her onto Binky’s back. YOU WILL NOT BE DEAD. YOU WILL REMAIN THE AGE YOU ARE NOW FOR YOUR CONVINIENCE. AND YOU HAVE BEEN ASKING FOR QUITE A WHILE TO BE REMOVED. Gaki Edwards fell silent and as Binky charged across space and time her grin grew wider and wider. As she and Death came to hover over the disc he informed her politely, YOU WILL BE PROVIDED FOR WITH A SMALL SUM OF MONEY, AND A PROFESSION TO GET YOU STARTED. WHAT JOB WOULD YOU LIKE, AND WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DROPPED?
Therefore eliminating all those inconvenient childhood years, as well as the need to find money. Sweet frick, this is some of the laziest writing I've ever seen.
Death wondered to himself as he rode away what she could have meant by “Earth”.
Oh, of course. Death, who is everywhere in the universe and just went to that planet to pick up her dead form, wouldn't know where Earth is.
Goddamn, this infuriates me. I think my relation to Pratchett's books is like the relationship some people here have with various anime fandoms. You just don't do this.
Damn it.