(no subject)
Why do i save the things that hurt me? maybe this is half my problem. that i have reminders. i cant just forget.
and yet i feel like its surrounding me. no matter what i cant escape this feeling. this dread like at moment it's all going to come crashing down on me. i'm scared. of what you say? of my own mind. of the way i deal with things. of the constant emotional rollercoaster that is my life. i'm scared to death of simultaneously proving my worst fears correct and losing the one thing that makes my life worth living. but i know that i have no control over it and that all this obsessing will only make it worse yet i cant get myself to calm the fuck down. I cant get her stupid picture out of my head. I cant stop those words from repeating over and over.
he says he loves me forever.
then why would he say something like that? why would he shamelessly flirt with some other girl over myspace? because it was harmless? just words? just joking? yes yes probably. but it still hurts like hell. and i dont know what to do about it except feel hurt and foolish.
and yet i feel like its surrounding me. no matter what i cant escape this feeling. this dread like at moment it's all going to come crashing down on me. i'm scared. of what you say? of my own mind. of the way i deal with things. of the constant emotional rollercoaster that is my life. i'm scared to death of simultaneously proving my worst fears correct and losing the one thing that makes my life worth living. but i know that i have no control over it and that all this obsessing will only make it worse yet i cant get myself to calm the fuck down. I cant get her stupid picture out of my head. I cant stop those words from repeating over and over.
he says he loves me forever.
then why would he say something like that? why would he shamelessly flirt with some other girl over myspace? because it was harmless? just words? just joking? yes yes probably. but it still hurts like hell. and i dont know what to do about it except feel hurt and foolish.