(no subject)
ok this Twilight Parody is just made of pee your pants funny. Edward, the 40 year old housewife.
NO I DONT THINK THAT IT IS ATTRACTIVE WHEN WOMEN SHAKE THEIR BEHINDS IN THAT MANNER
The highlights:
--
HE IS SENSITIVE
HE IS REPRESSED, MOTHER.
--
oxymoronassoc: LOL CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM THE DAY HE MET BELLA
oxymoronassoc: COMING HOME ALL
oxymoronassoc: "I FOUND THE GIRL I AM GOING TO EAT MARRY!!!!
saint_renegade: I NEED TO LEAVE 4EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
oxymoronassoc: THIS IS A TRAVESTYYYYYYYY
oxymoronassoc: EVERYTHING I HAVE WORKED FOR
saint_renegade: DON'T STOP ME!! I ALMOST LOST CONTROL!!!!
oxymoronassoc: SHE SMELLED DELICIOUS. LIKE BACON.
oxymoronassoc: I ALMOST SAVAGED HER IN FRONT OF THE KIDS
saint_renegade: NO ONE HAS EVER FELT THIS WAY
oxymoronassoc: and emmett would just hear that
oxymoronassoc: and be like GOOD ON YOU EDWARD
saint_renegade: I AM NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN
saint_renegade: NO EMMETT, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THIS WAS AWFUL
oxymoronassoc: WHY? IS SHE UGLY?
oxymoronassoc: I MEAN SOMETIMES UGLY CHICKS ARE STILL GOOD IN BED
ETA: saint_renegade: oh so now we are going to joke about my going to do the harry potter midnight parties
saint_renegade: HOW PREDICTABLE
saint_renegade: MOTHER TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING THAT UP AGAIN
oxymoronassoc: HARRY POTTER IS A GENTLEMAN, EMMETT
saint_renegade: OR DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHY WE HAD TO REPLACE MY DOOR.
saint_renegade: THREE TIMES.
oxymoronassoc: I REALLY LIKE THAT DOOR, TOO
oxymoronassoc: NO I DO NOT THINK IT BIG HEADED TO THINK THAT I AM AS HANDSOME AS CEDERIC
oxymoronassoc: IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE
oxymoronassoc: YOU WOULD BE GOYLE, EMMETT
oxymoronassoc: GOYLE!!!!!
saint_renegade: LOL
oxymoronassoc: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO IS GOYLE. HE IS AN IDIOT. LIKE YOU.
saint_renegade: HE THEN TAKES IT BACK
saint_renegade: PERHAPS, I WAS TOO COLD, BROTHER
oxymoronassoc: I SPOKE IN ANGER. I APOLOGIZE.
saint_renegade: I REALLY WISH WE COULD GET ALONG BETTER, PERHAPS WE SHOULD JUST START FRESH?
oxymoronassoc: BUT TOMORROW, AS I MUST GO TO THE SIDE OF MY DEAREST, GREATEST, TRUEST, ONLY LOVE
oxymoronassoc: AND INHALE THE SWEET AIR OF HER EXHALE.
oxymoronassoc: IT IS ALL THAT GETS ME THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES.
saint_renegade: COUNT HER EYELASHES AND PRAY SHE WILL ONE DAY ACCEPT ME FOR THE MONSTER I AM
saint_renegade: you mean you have never counted rosalie's eyelashes?
oxymoronassoc: I CAN BUT HOPE SHE OPENS HER GENEROUS HEART TO MY SHAMBLE OF AN EXISTANCE
oxymoronassoc: NO EMMETT SHE IS ALL THAT IS SWEET AND KIND
oxymoronassoc: THAT MIKE KID IS, AS YOU MIGHT SAY, A DICK
saint_renegade: OH MY
saint_renegade: he laughs
saint_renegade: THAT WORD, I FEEL SO DIRTY
saint_renegade: EXCUSE ME, ALL OF YOU
saint_renegade: I AM SORRY
oxymoronassoc: I MUST WASH MY MOUTH WITH SOAP
oxymoronassoc: NO ONE MOVE
oxymoronassoc: UNTIL I RETURN
saint_renegade: I CANNOT GO TO BELLA WITH SUCH A FOUL WORD STILL ON MY LIPS
oxymoronassoc: IT IS BAD ENOUGH THAT I THOUGHT SUCH THINGS BUT THEN TO SAY THEM? IT WILLNEVER DO
saint_renegade: FORGIVE ME, ALICE
saint_renegade: THAT MUST HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE FOR YOU TO HEAR
saint_renegade: I AM TRULY SORRY
oxymoronassoc: I AM GOING TO GO THINK ABOUT WHAT I DID.
saint_renegade: I would understand if you were unable to speak to me for the next few days
saint_renegade: IT IS WHAT I DESERVE
oxymoronassoc: I AM A MONSTER.
*dies*
Damn I spammed you all today. But I had to share!!!
NO I DONT THINK THAT IT IS ATTRACTIVE WHEN WOMEN SHAKE THEIR BEHINDS IN THAT MANNER
The highlights:
--
HE IS SENSITIVE
HE IS REPRESSED, MOTHER.
--
oxymoronassoc: LOL CAN YOU IMAGINE HIM THE DAY HE MET BELLA
oxymoronassoc: COMING HOME ALL
oxymoronassoc: "I FOUND THE GIRL I AM GOING TO EAT MARRY!!!!
saint_renegade: I NEED TO LEAVE 4EVA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
oxymoronassoc: THIS IS A TRAVESTYYYYYYYY
oxymoronassoc: EVERYTHING I HAVE WORKED FOR
saint_renegade: DON'T STOP ME!! I ALMOST LOST CONTROL!!!!
oxymoronassoc: SHE SMELLED DELICIOUS. LIKE BACON.
oxymoronassoc: I ALMOST SAVAGED HER IN FRONT OF THE KIDS
saint_renegade: NO ONE HAS EVER FELT THIS WAY
oxymoronassoc: and emmett would just hear that
oxymoronassoc: and be like GOOD ON YOU EDWARD
saint_renegade: I AM NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN
saint_renegade: NO EMMETT, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, THIS WAS AWFUL
oxymoronassoc: WHY? IS SHE UGLY?
oxymoronassoc: I MEAN SOMETIMES UGLY CHICKS ARE STILL GOOD IN BED
ETA: saint_renegade: oh so now we are going to joke about my going to do the harry potter midnight parties
saint_renegade: HOW PREDICTABLE
saint_renegade: MOTHER TOLD YOU NEVER TO BRING THAT UP AGAIN
oxymoronassoc: HARRY POTTER IS A GENTLEMAN, EMMETT
saint_renegade: OR DO YOU NOT REMEMBER WHY WE HAD TO REPLACE MY DOOR.
saint_renegade: THREE TIMES.
oxymoronassoc: I REALLY LIKE THAT DOOR, TOO
oxymoronassoc: NO I DO NOT THINK IT BIG HEADED TO THINK THAT I AM AS HANDSOME AS CEDERIC
oxymoronassoc: IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE
oxymoronassoc: YOU WOULD BE GOYLE, EMMETT
oxymoronassoc: GOYLE!!!!!
saint_renegade: LOL
oxymoronassoc: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHO IS GOYLE. HE IS AN IDIOT. LIKE YOU.
saint_renegade: HE THEN TAKES IT BACK
saint_renegade: PERHAPS, I WAS TOO COLD, BROTHER
oxymoronassoc: I SPOKE IN ANGER. I APOLOGIZE.
saint_renegade: I REALLY WISH WE COULD GET ALONG BETTER, PERHAPS WE SHOULD JUST START FRESH?
oxymoronassoc: BUT TOMORROW, AS I MUST GO TO THE SIDE OF MY DEAREST, GREATEST, TRUEST, ONLY LOVE
oxymoronassoc: AND INHALE THE SWEET AIR OF HER EXHALE.
oxymoronassoc: IT IS ALL THAT GETS ME THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES.
saint_renegade: COUNT HER EYELASHES AND PRAY SHE WILL ONE DAY ACCEPT ME FOR THE MONSTER I AM
saint_renegade: you mean you have never counted rosalie's eyelashes?
oxymoronassoc: I CAN BUT HOPE SHE OPENS HER GENEROUS HEART TO MY SHAMBLE OF AN EXISTANCE
oxymoronassoc: NO EMMETT SHE IS ALL THAT IS SWEET AND KIND
oxymoronassoc: THAT MIKE KID IS, AS YOU MIGHT SAY, A DICK
saint_renegade: OH MY
saint_renegade: he laughs
saint_renegade: THAT WORD, I FEEL SO DIRTY
saint_renegade: EXCUSE ME, ALL OF YOU
saint_renegade: I AM SORRY
oxymoronassoc: I MUST WASH MY MOUTH WITH SOAP
oxymoronassoc: NO ONE MOVE
oxymoronassoc: UNTIL I RETURN
saint_renegade: I CANNOT GO TO BELLA WITH SUCH A FOUL WORD STILL ON MY LIPS
oxymoronassoc: IT IS BAD ENOUGH THAT I THOUGHT SUCH THINGS BUT THEN TO SAY THEM? IT WILLNEVER DO
saint_renegade: FORGIVE ME, ALICE
saint_renegade: THAT MUST HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE FOR YOU TO HEAR
saint_renegade: I AM TRULY SORRY
oxymoronassoc: I AM GOING TO GO THINK ABOUT WHAT I DID.
saint_renegade: I would understand if you were unable to speak to me for the next few days
saint_renegade: IT IS WHAT I DESERVE
oxymoronassoc: I AM A MONSTER.
*dies*
Damn I spammed you all today. But I had to share!!!