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Yay! First day in a week without major vertigo and no nausea at all. Medication is finally working. :)
To celebrate feeling better and also because tomorrow is the release of the NBN / Meguriai DVD, I decided to upload the translated script of Meguriai. I know, I am a big nerd to translate the entire thing, but I was in total denial about being back home in Switzerland and so far from sparkly Zukaland, and needed the distraction. XD
A Second Fortuitous Meeting - You Are My Only Shining Star -
Scene 1: Yggdrasil
A tale from the fairly distant past.
On a country road towards Count Orgon’s dominion of Phosphor in the early afternoon.
Dorante Vespert and his attendant Bourguignon appear on one side of the stage.
Bourguignon: My lord, Lord Dorante, it’s this way. Hurry up.
Dorante: Bourguignon, not so fast.
Bourguignon: But if we don’t hurry, we will be late for the appointment with Count Orgon.
Dorante: It’s good if we let him wait a bit.
Bourguignon: Oh, because you’re a duke and he’s a count, it wouldn’t be bad to make him wait a while…
Dorante: That’s not the problem. It’s just that I am not keen on having myself being evaluated.
Bourguignon: Count Orgon is gathering five marriage candidates for his daughter Sylvia, so she can choose among them.
Dorante: And I am one of those suitors. What a stupid tale.
Bourguignon: Indeed, this seems to be the way of the aristocracy. Oops, forgive me. Ah, but it can’t be helped. The Orgon family are rich feudal lords who own a lot of land. If you get chosen by the daughter, the wedding alone will give some security to the noble but impoverished family of Vespert. And besides, in the country and in the royal city too, Count Orgon’s daughter Sylvia is rumored to be a rare beauty. If you think about this chance to obtain both money and fame, shouldn’t you hurry up to get it?
Dorante: Bourguignon, I guess I should praise you for this long speech. But you are mistaken. Money and fame are short-lived. The important thing is one’s true nature, the real person. Outer appearance and titles don’t show you the real person. As a young member of the aristocracy it’s my duty to marry a wife appropriate for my family.
Bourguignon: Your duty…
Dorante: But it’s very difficult.
Bourguignon: Why?
Dorante: Because all women are lying. They substitute “You’re not bad” with “I love you” and “Selfishness” with “Love”. Furthermore, the bad thing with them is, you don’t realize they’re only pretending to have true feelings.
Bourguignon: Certainly… Jacqueline, who said she was in love with me, also enjoyed taking walks with that rich little fool Ruban. When I called out to her, she said: “Who are you?”… Even now, it still hurts… My speech goes well… Erm…
Music is heard from afar.
The loud voices of some itinerant entertainers are heard: “Damn it! Where has he gone to?” “Let’s find him!” and so on.
Castor, Sirius and Graffias enter.
Bourguignon: Hey, you there. Where is Count Orgon’s residence?
Graffias: Well, because we are an itinerant troupe, we are not familiar with this neighborhood. (To Sirius) Do you know it?
Castor: Ah, if it’s the Lord’s residence, just follow this road and turn right by the tree that’s called Yggdrasil, it’s after that.
Bourguignon: Yggdrasil?
Castor: Hm.
Sirius: By all means, it’s the sacred tree of Phosphor village. Every year on the day of the Star Festival when the star in the center of the north rises to its highest height, according to legend lovers who swear their love under Yggdrasil will be happy for eternity.
Castor: And today is the day of the Star Festival. We have been called for as a side show.
Bourguignon: But for some reason you seem to have been disputing?
Castor: That’s right. The truth is our playwright has disappeared.
Bourguignon: Disappeared?
Graffias: Yes. He slipped away before writing the conclusion. Neither his figure nor his shadow has been seen. That’s why we can only ever rehearse until the middle part.
Bourguignon: What’s the plot?
Sirius: The story is very complicated. It’s the tale of an unwilling bride and groom who change places with their servants to observe their partner.
Dorante: Change places… Of course!
Bourguignon: Lord Dorante, what is it?
Dorante: That’s not bad. No, that’s a good idea.
Bourguignon: Huh?
Dorante: In short, you and I will change places. You’ll be the master, I’ll be the servant. The bride will think you are me and behave very sweetly to you. But to myself being a servant? I plan to see her true face depending on her attitude.
Bourguignon: In short, you mean to do that play for real?
Dorante: That’s it.
The itinerant entertainers leave.
Bourguignon: However, appearing like a member of the aristocracy… I can’t do that.
Dorante: It will be fine. Stretch your back, look self-important and don’t speak too much.
Bourguignon: Like this?
Dorante: I have a good feeling!
Bourguignon: Somehow you have a good feeling… Ah, but my lord, what should I do if they ask me to dance? I am not good at dancing.
Dorante: That’s fine, just dance with your face.
Bourguignon: With my face?
Dorante: Well, let’s go, Bourguignon, to switch our clothes.
Bourguignon: Ahh! My lord! Lord Dorante! Wait please… Hey!
They both leave.
There is the sound of a musical instrument being tuned.
The voices of the itinerant entertainers are heard behind the curtain.
Formalhaut: Ah, what should we do about the plot?!!
Canopus: It can’t be helped. Let’s start from the beginning once more.
Electra: The curtain is rising.
Passing under the curtain, Formalhaut enters. He is complaining about something, but upon noticing the audience, he starts with the prologue.
Formalhaut: (clears his throat) Well, ladies and gentleman. What you are about to see is a comedy of changed identities... No, a tragedy… Anyway, a play! There are tears, there is laughter, and it is stormy and full of drama… and still developing. But anyway, we are starting. Music!
The music starts.
The curtain opens on Phosphor village. The tree Yggdrasil can be seen.
Procyon: Once there were a rebellious prince and princess.
Electra: Once upon a time, once upon a time
A fairy tale far away
A beautiful princess and her prospective grooms
Spica: A pitiful spell was used on her
Rigel: Even though she yearned for words of love, no one cared
The entire itinerant troupe: Try to look into the depth of the heart
With transparent eyes you can see yourself
The marriage candidates appear according to the introduction from the itinerant entertainers.
Dorante is stripping off Bourguignon’s coat.
Formalhaut: Well then. Let me introduce the people as they enter the stage. The first marriage candidate is the son of the Duke of Vespert, Dorante Vespert. Somehow he seems to have a complicated character… Will he get satisfaction from his scheme?
Dorante: Take off your clothes, take them all off. We are really going to change places.
Bourguignon: I’ll take them off, I’ll take them off. Don’t strip me against my will. Stop it!
They both leave.
Formalhaut: (clears throat) Well then, let’s move on, shall we? The second marriage candidate, Royal Chevalier and Deputy Knight, Chevalier Lucidor Graphite. He is participating in the groom selection in order to settle his long unproductive relationship with Countess Largo.
Lucidor enters.
The countess is reading a letter.
Lucidor: You’re heart is just like a lark. When I think I am getting close, you go far away. When I think I can feed you from my hands, you fly off. You are toying with my heart and the wings of my heart have broken. (Breaks the plume in his hand) …Until the end I am not good with romantic lines, my apologies. You must be angry. Forgive me, Countess, I won’t visit you again. I am fortifying myself. Farewell, I wish you everlasting happiness. Royal Chevalier and Deputy Knight, Lucidor Graphite.
Lucidor leaves. The countess sighs, closes the letter and leaves too.
Agis, Keter and Chokhma enter. They are escorted by Colette.
Formalhaut: Next is the third marriage candidate, the 24th son of the king of the young country Le Cain, Agis Le Cain. Disillusioned with his position as the last son in a poor country, he participates in the groom selection, because he longs for the livelihood of a large country.
Agis: Let’s go, Keter, Chokhma, to a much wealthier country than this one. Marriage will be a step to get some foothold. Once I am up, I will live a sparkling life at the forefront of culture and civilization in this world, triumphing over my 23 older brothers. Glittering dances, tables laden with huge feasts… It’s somewhat intimidating… Colette, you have been looking well after me. When I am called to the ball in the royal city, I will certainly invite you too. Well, I am sure with my charm as youngest child I will make Sylvia fall madly in love with me. Let’s go.
Both: Yes.
Colette: Take care, Prince Agis.
Agis, Keter and Chokhma leave. Colette, fighting back tears, sends them off.
Leonid and Corinne enter.
Formalhaut: The fourth marriage candidate, Count Lowell’s son Fauchon and his servant Hermidas…
Leonid: Corinne, how is it? Do I look like a proper man?
Corinne: Miss Leonid, stretch your back a bit more and walk on tiptoes…
Leonid: Like this?
Formalhaut: The younger sister Leonid pretending to be Fauchon and her maid Corinne. She had been following Mario, the older brother of the bride, too excessively, and was prohibited from being in his proximity half a month ago. As her yearning became stronger, she imprisoned her clueless brother in order to go in his stead to Count Orgon’s residence.
Corinne: But Miss Leonid.
Leonid: That’s wrong, I am Fauchon… No, I (male pronoun) am Fauchon. Let’s go, Corinne, I mean… Let’s go, Hermidas… Right!
Corinne: Love is indeed a villain as they often say. (Female speech) What will become of this thing? ... No, (male speech) what will become of this? Ah, Miss, I mean, Sir!
Leonid and Corinne leave.
Formalhaut: Now, the final marriage candidate.
One of the itinerant entertainers, Altair, enters.
Altair: Boss, it’s terrible.
Formalhaut: What is it?
Altair: This was on top of our luggage.
They are all reading a letter.
Hermocrate appears on the inner stage.
Hermocrate: Everyone, my apologies. I cannot think of a conclusion. Please forgive my untalented self. Following my father’s advice I will participate in the groom selection. Please don’t look for me. Hermocrate.
Canopus: No, we will look, we will look.
Spica: Does he mean Count Orgon’s groom selection?
Electra: I don’t know, but in any case, let’s go to his mansion and see.
Rigel: Yes, tonight is our performance. At all costs we need to find out whether it’s a comedy or a tragedy.
People from the village appear and the festival starts.
Engaged couples are dancing.
The itinerant entertainers sing at the top of their voices.
Itinerant entertainers: Once upon a time, once upon a time
A fairy tale far away
A beautiful princess and her prospective grooms
All: The stars play the rondo of tender passion
The symphony of a misleading love
The day is sinking to the bottom of the dark night
I will certainly find a star that’s only mine
The marriage candidates are walking towards Count Orgon’s mansion.
All: Try to look into the depth of the heart
With transparent eyes you can see yourself
Try to look into the depth of the heart
With transparent eyes you can see yourself
Formalhaut: Well, let’s go to Count Orgon’s residence.
Scene 2: The Orgon Residence - Hallway
The hallway of the Orgon residence.
The head of the family Count Orgon, his daughter Sylvia and her maid Lisette.
The butler Julius and the servants Grue and Blanc also appear.
Sylvia: That’s why I find it detestable.
Orgon: Sylvia, my adorable daughter. As I like to say, please don’t cause me any trouble. You cannot mean to always remain unmarried, can you?
Sylvia: Oh, why not?
Orgon: Are you trying to be alone for eternity with people pointing at you behind your back and calling you a widow, an old spinster and a loser?
Sylvia: Oh, a loser is just fine, father.
Lisette: My lady!
Orgon: Sylvia, why is marriage so detestable to you?
Sylvia: For nothing in particular, I don’t have any reasons.
Sylvia’s brother Mario appears.
Mario: Her broken heart probably hasn’t healed yet.
Sylvia: Brother!
Orgon: Broken heart? Mario, what are you talking about?
Mario: I am talking about Albireo’s husband Raul. Sylvia was in love with him and now she’s just sulking, because he married our sister.
Albireo enters, dressed for an outing.
Albireo: Everyone, I am about to go out.
Sylvia: Sister.
Mario: My, if you gossip about…
Albireo: Gossip? What gossip?
Sylvia: Nothing at all.
Albireo: Well then, I am going to enjoy the Star Festival. Sylvia can’t come with me, despite of Raul being there too.
Sylvia: … Yes.
Albireo: But it can’t be helped because of the groom selection. I hope a lovely prince will appear in front of you. Father, when I’ve seen Raul and the festival I will return. That man is so busy. He will immediately return to the royal city again. Well then.
Albireo wants to leave in a half run and trips.
Albireo: Kyaaa!
Julius: Are you all right, my lady?
Albireo: Yes, I was in a hurry. Well then, I’ll be back, everyone. Have a nice day.
Orgon: Go have fun.
Albireo leaves.
Lisette: My lady, if you met a beautiful groom then maybe your mood would brighten up.
Sylvia: Yes, everyone will be beautiful and affectionate on the outside, but what will their true feelings be?
Lisette: Their true feelings?
Sylvia: When it comes to marriage, it’s not about appearance and charm; whether he has wise judgment or not is more important. But to see through that is a serious affair. They usually don’t look like wolves.
Mario: Women are dogs and men are wolves. Of course.
Sylvia: First they are affectionate and talk a lot about good and interesting topics. But after the wedding everything heard from their lips comes with a difficult face. And they slowly grow fat.
Orgon: Ah… Sylvia.
Sylvia: Father, you’re an exception. You’re an extremely rare example. But… Men are liars, even if they used to be so affectionate.
Mario: But I don’t intend to be double-faced.
Sylvia: It’s just that in your case both faces are treacherous.
Lisette: My lady! Anyway, meet and observe them. If there is no husband that can please you, you can still call it off.
Orgon: Of course.
Sylvia: But how can I know their real character? They will all disguise themselves in front of me.
Mario: I have a good idea.
Orgon: What is it, Mario?
Mario: Actually, there’s this play a friend of mine has written. It’s a story about a prospective bride and groom who change places with their servants to observe their partner…
Sylvia: Of course, I will change place with Lisette and Lisette can be me. Then I as Lisette will be able to observe the difference between the faces they show when courting Lisette as Sylvia and the faces she can’t see.
Lisette: My lady, I am getting dizzy.
Sylvia: It seems interesting. Father, I will do it. If there is a sincere one, I will become his wife willingly. Is that all right, Father?
Orgon: It can’t be helped. If this makes you happy, then let us try it.
Sylvia: Let’s go, Lisette.
Lisette: To do what?
Sylvia: To exchange clothes.
Lisette: With me?
Sylvia: Of course, you’re the only maid I have, Lisette.
Lisette: Please wait a moment! My lady!
They both leave.
Orgon: It can’t be helped. We have to make arrangements for the play. Julius, inform all the people in the manor.
Julius: My lord!
Orgon: Grue and Blanc, you will make preparations to welcome our guests. This will be entertaining.
Orgon, Julius, Grue and Blanc leave.
Hermocrate enters.
Mario: How treacherous. She has a wicked tongue. Today my holiday is ruined.
Hermocrate: Mario?!!
Mario: Hermocrate!
Hermocrate: What are you doing in this place?
Mario: What do you mean, this is my home.
Hermocrate: Your home? So, are you a relation of Lady Sylvia?
Mario: My little sister? It can’t be, you…
Hermocrate: Ah, I was called for the groom selection.
Mario: Hm, that’s a big disaster.
Hermocrate: What is it?
Mario: No, nothing. But is that all right for you, a playwright? I heard you were writing a new piece.
Hermocrate: It’s fine. I’ve returned home and listened to my father’s command to get married. There’s nothing else for me, because I don’t have any talent.
Mario: That is right.
Hermocrate: Hey, that’s cruel.
Mario: I have no interest in being of help. To begin with, I haven’t seen your play. How could I know whether you have talent or not? You are self-confident, so until now I wouldn’t have thought you’d call yourself untalented.
Hermocrate: That’s right. You’re that kind of guy. With your manner, whatever you said, you must have dumped that girl in a harsh way. If I remember correctly… was it Leonid?
Mario: I just told her that her excessive prowling around me was irritating and not to show herself a second time. I hate it more than anything to have my privacy invaded.
Hermocrate: But there are ways to say something like that. Don’t you understand people’s feelings?
Mario: I understand. For this reason… I find it tiresome. They exchange bad with good and hate with love, and all they talk about is foolishness. And even so, they all say that honesty is most important. I have decided to live honestly all by myself in this world.
Hermocrate: You have changed. I am surprised that there’s a woman in love with a man like you.
Mario: So am I. That’s why I said it’s better to end it. But how are things with you? I somehow heard you were going out with this actress…
Hermocrate: Please don’t talk about Emeraude.
Mario: Why? Ha-ha, well then…
Hermocrate: My recent play isn’t popular, so it doesn’t matter whether I finish it or not. I showed it to my patron and my lover and they caused me to abandon it. I have ignored my parents’ resistance and flown away from home as a foolish young man, but now the time has come to wake up from my dream.
Mario: Well, don’t torment yourself. You can’t expect that things will always be good.
Hermocrate: That’s typical of you.
A bell rings.
Julius enters.
Julius: The guests have arrived.
Mario: Well, let’s go. I will introduce you to my sister Sylvia.
Scene 3: The Orgon Residence - Salon
Count Orgon, the grooms and their attendants, some servants, and finally Dorante, Sylvia, Bourguignon and Lisette with changed clothes enter.
Julius: Royal Chevalier and Deputy Knight, Sir Lucidor Graphite. The 24th son of the King of Le Cain, Prince Agis Le Cain. The son of Count Lowell, Sir Fauchon de Lowell. From a remote region the son of Count Oswell, Sir Hermocrate Oswell Marquis. The son of the Duke of Vespert, Lord Dorante Vespert. (Clears throat) Count Orgon’s son, Sir Mario and finally Lady Sylvia d’Orgon.
Orgon: Everyone, today on this great day that has been blessed by the star, it is an honor to have you gathered here for my daughter Sylvia’s sake. Well, Sylvia, please welcome everyone.
Mario: You… Leonid.
Leonid: Shh!
Mario: What are you doing in this place? Moreover in this appearance.
Orgon: What is it, Mario?
Mario: Oh… Nothing.
Lisette: It’s impossible, my lady.
Sylvia: It will be fine. Broaden your chest; be dignified like a queen and coquettish like a princess.
Lisette: Everyone, I welcome you today…
Sylvia: You’re bowing too low.
Lisette: (Clears throat) Everyone…
Lisette: Thank you for gathering today for my sake
Until tonight feel at home
Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaase
Lisette: How is it?
Sylvia: Good performance.
Lisette: You are all lovely
Servants: It’s a joke
Lisette: It seems impossible to choose
Servants: A scheme
Lisette: But to find…
Servants: A whim
Lisette: A real prince
Servants: A disaster
Lucidor: Born with elegance others cannot compete with
Agis: The mystery of a deity born into civilization
A refined and prospering incarnation
Hermocrate: A rose in the middle of a field or the moon in the starry sky
Bewitching to the eye like a crane
Leonid: When standing a Chinese peony, when sitting a tree peony
A walking figure like a lily
Sylvia: I am splitting my sides laughing at such flattery
Dorante: Bizarre and astounding
Both: A third-rate play for the masses
Servants: The laughing ones…
Suitors: Lala…
Servants: Are being laughed at
Suitors: Lala…
Sylvia: Haha…
Servants: Those pointing fingers…
Suitors: Lala…
Lisette: Haha…
Servants: Have fingers pointing at them
Suitors: Lala…
Sylvia: Haha…
Servants: It’s poetic justice…
Suitors: Lala…
Lisette: Haha…
Servants: This groom selection
Suitors: Lala…
Sylvia: Haha…
Everyone except Dorante, Sylvia, Bourguignon and Lisette: Hahahaha!
Lisette is standing in front of Bourguignon.
Lisette: You haven’t said anything yet.
Bourguignon: You, you have stolen the words from my lips.
Bourguignon bluntly kisses Lisette’s hand. They fall in love.
Lisette: What a lovely person. Why is he so friendly…?
Sylvia: You.
Bourguignon: Yeah, I mean, yes.
Sylvia: What’s that? Without a warning you are impolite to my mistress.
Bourguignon: I am sorry.
Dorante steps forward too.
Dorante: You there. Despite being a maid you make comments on my master? Remember your place.
Sylvia: What’s that supposed to mean? Despite being a servant you talk in an extremely arrogant way. Tell me your name.
Dorante: Since you’re asking my name, introduce yourself first.
Sylvia: Fine. I am Lisette, Lady Sylvia’s maid.
Dorante: It’s Bourguignon, Lord Dorante’s attendant.
Sylvia: If a master is a master, then a servant is a servant.
Dorante: What does that mean?
Orgon: Lisette, remember your place. Bourguignon, you too.
Both: Humph!
Julius enters.
Julius: My lord, a guest has arrived.
Countess Largo enters.
Countess: Forgive my tardiness. Count Orgon, thank you for inviting me today. Well, these must be the marriage candidates… Oh…
The Countess notices Lucidor.
Lucidor: Countess, why are you…?
Countess: Lord Orgon is an old friend of my husband’s.
Orgon: That’s right. I haven’t seen him in a while, but when I was told that the Countess hadn’t been in a happy mood lately, I invited her to the groom selection today. (To Lucidor) Are you acquainted?
Countess: Yes… Relatively…
Orgon: Just right. Countess, let me show you the manor. Sylvia, please accompany our guests (winks). (To the Countess) Ah, it’s this way. Would you like some cognac? Well…
Everyone leaves.
Scene 4: The Orgon Residence - Hallway
Dorante and Sylvia want to go into opposite directions, but they are both hindering each other from passing.
Dorante: You are in my way. Move.
Sylvia: You move.
Dorante: I want to go over there.
Sylvia: Oh, you’ve separated yourself from your master. Where are you going?
Dorante: That’s none of your business.
Sylvia: It is very much. It is my job to protect my mistress’s happiness. I can’t have a questionable servant loitering around my mistress’s whereabouts.
Dorante: Questionable! ...But you have separated from your mistress too. Where are you going?
Sylvia: Nowhere in particular… To have a bit of a look at the guests…
Dorante: Huh, to be your beloved mistress’s spy, you mean.
Sylvia: Don’t say such unrespectable things. I am just studying people’s characters.
Dorante: And that requires you to do some peeking. What a nice hobby.
Sylvia: Huh, if they have nothing to be guilty of, it shouldn’t be a problem. Or could it be that there is something your master hopes I won’t find out?
Dorante: No… nothing… So, you’re saying you want to observe them.
Sylvia: Yes. You have a bad personality, but you are outspoken for a manservant and you seem to be quite intelligent. Therefore I will tell you.
Sylvia: An investigator of love for my lady
The real character of the marriage candidates
I will investigate them
In secrecy of course
Dorante: …That’s… bad.
Sylvia: Liars about love, that is
That is what men are
On the outside there are sweet words
Are there sweet words on the inside too
They use their two faces differently
Sylvia: Me, I won’t let my mistress suffer through that.
Dorante: What an outspoken woman. But I will tell her.
Dorante: It’s rather the women who are double-faced
They conceal their true faces behind make-up
But they forget about that
And are fascinated by their faces in the mirror
Those foolish things
Sylvia: You talk easily.
Dorante: So did you.
Both: The fugue of falsehood
You can’t see the answer
Dorante: Lies pile up on lies
Sylvia: The foolish ones are…
Dorante: Women! Women!
Sylvia: Men! Men!
They both feel like they have formed an alliance, and separate in a fluster.
Sylvia: Ah, you can understand it if I study them. Well, goodbye.
Sylvia is leaving.
Dorante: Wait.
Sylvia: What else?
Dorante: Let me join you in your investigation.
Sylvia: Why?
Dorante: It’s… No… Anyway, I can’t agree with your criticism of men, so I would like to see proof for what you said.
Sylvia: Fine. Let’s go together and I will prove to you that what I said was correct.
Dorante: (Aside) Bourguignon, I rely on you. I hope you have good acting skills.
Sylvia: What are you muttering, Bourguignon? Don’t stand there like a prince and follow me.
Dorante: Bourguignon? Ah, me. Good grief, this woman is as haughty as a queen.
They both leave.
To celebrate feeling better and also because tomorrow is the release of the NBN / Meguriai DVD, I decided to upload the translated script of Meguriai. I know, I am a big nerd to translate the entire thing, but I was in total denial about being back home in Switzerland and so far from sparkly Zukaland, and needed the distraction. XD
A Second Fortuitous Meeting - You Are My Only Shining Star -
Scene 1: Yggdrasil
A tale from the fairly distant past.
On a country road towards Count Orgon’s dominion of Phosphor in the early afternoon.
Dorante Vespert and his attendant Bourguignon appear on one side of the stage.
Bourguignon: My lord, Lord Dorante, it’s this way. Hurry up.
Dorante: Bourguignon, not so fast.
Bourguignon: But if we don’t hurry, we will be late for the appointment with Count Orgon.
Dorante: It’s good if we let him wait a bit.
Bourguignon: Oh, because you’re a duke and he’s a count, it wouldn’t be bad to make him wait a while…
Dorante: That’s not the problem. It’s just that I am not keen on having myself being evaluated.
Bourguignon: Count Orgon is gathering five marriage candidates for his daughter Sylvia, so she can choose among them.
Dorante: And I am one of those suitors. What a stupid tale.
Bourguignon: Indeed, this seems to be the way of the aristocracy. Oops, forgive me. Ah, but it can’t be helped. The Orgon family are rich feudal lords who own a lot of land. If you get chosen by the daughter, the wedding alone will give some security to the noble but impoverished family of Vespert. And besides, in the country and in the royal city too, Count Orgon’s daughter Sylvia is rumored to be a rare beauty. If you think about this chance to obtain both money and fame, shouldn’t you hurry up to get it?
Dorante: Bourguignon, I guess I should praise you for this long speech. But you are mistaken. Money and fame are short-lived. The important thing is one’s true nature, the real person. Outer appearance and titles don’t show you the real person. As a young member of the aristocracy it’s my duty to marry a wife appropriate for my family.
Bourguignon: Your duty…
Dorante: But it’s very difficult.
Bourguignon: Why?
Dorante: Because all women are lying. They substitute “You’re not bad” with “I love you” and “Selfishness” with “Love”. Furthermore, the bad thing with them is, you don’t realize they’re only pretending to have true feelings.
Bourguignon: Certainly… Jacqueline, who said she was in love with me, also enjoyed taking walks with that rich little fool Ruban. When I called out to her, she said: “Who are you?”… Even now, it still hurts… My speech goes well… Erm…
Music is heard from afar.
The loud voices of some itinerant entertainers are heard: “Damn it! Where has he gone to?” “Let’s find him!” and so on.
Castor, Sirius and Graffias enter.
Bourguignon: Hey, you there. Where is Count Orgon’s residence?
Graffias: Well, because we are an itinerant troupe, we are not familiar with this neighborhood. (To Sirius) Do you know it?
Castor: Ah, if it’s the Lord’s residence, just follow this road and turn right by the tree that’s called Yggdrasil, it’s after that.
Bourguignon: Yggdrasil?
Castor: Hm.
Sirius: By all means, it’s the sacred tree of Phosphor village. Every year on the day of the Star Festival when the star in the center of the north rises to its highest height, according to legend lovers who swear their love under Yggdrasil will be happy for eternity.
Castor: And today is the day of the Star Festival. We have been called for as a side show.
Bourguignon: But for some reason you seem to have been disputing?
Castor: That’s right. The truth is our playwright has disappeared.
Bourguignon: Disappeared?
Graffias: Yes. He slipped away before writing the conclusion. Neither his figure nor his shadow has been seen. That’s why we can only ever rehearse until the middle part.
Bourguignon: What’s the plot?
Sirius: The story is very complicated. It’s the tale of an unwilling bride and groom who change places with their servants to observe their partner.
Dorante: Change places… Of course!
Bourguignon: Lord Dorante, what is it?
Dorante: That’s not bad. No, that’s a good idea.
Bourguignon: Huh?
Dorante: In short, you and I will change places. You’ll be the master, I’ll be the servant. The bride will think you are me and behave very sweetly to you. But to myself being a servant? I plan to see her true face depending on her attitude.
Bourguignon: In short, you mean to do that play for real?
Dorante: That’s it.
The itinerant entertainers leave.
Bourguignon: However, appearing like a member of the aristocracy… I can’t do that.
Dorante: It will be fine. Stretch your back, look self-important and don’t speak too much.
Bourguignon: Like this?
Dorante: I have a good feeling!
Bourguignon: Somehow you have a good feeling… Ah, but my lord, what should I do if they ask me to dance? I am not good at dancing.
Dorante: That’s fine, just dance with your face.
Bourguignon: With my face?
Dorante: Well, let’s go, Bourguignon, to switch our clothes.
Bourguignon: Ahh! My lord! Lord Dorante! Wait please… Hey!
They both leave.
There is the sound of a musical instrument being tuned.
The voices of the itinerant entertainers are heard behind the curtain.
Formalhaut: Ah, what should we do about the plot?!!
Canopus: It can’t be helped. Let’s start from the beginning once more.
Electra: The curtain is rising.
Passing under the curtain, Formalhaut enters. He is complaining about something, but upon noticing the audience, he starts with the prologue.
Formalhaut: (clears his throat) Well, ladies and gentleman. What you are about to see is a comedy of changed identities... No, a tragedy… Anyway, a play! There are tears, there is laughter, and it is stormy and full of drama… and still developing. But anyway, we are starting. Music!
The music starts.
The curtain opens on Phosphor village. The tree Yggdrasil can be seen.
Procyon: Once there were a rebellious prince and princess.
Electra: Once upon a time, once upon a time
A fairy tale far away
A beautiful princess and her prospective grooms
Spica: A pitiful spell was used on her
Rigel: Even though she yearned for words of love, no one cared
The entire itinerant troupe: Try to look into the depth of the heart
With transparent eyes you can see yourself
The marriage candidates appear according to the introduction from the itinerant entertainers.
Dorante is stripping off Bourguignon’s coat.
Formalhaut: Well then. Let me introduce the people as they enter the stage. The first marriage candidate is the son of the Duke of Vespert, Dorante Vespert. Somehow he seems to have a complicated character… Will he get satisfaction from his scheme?
Dorante: Take off your clothes, take them all off. We are really going to change places.
Bourguignon: I’ll take them off, I’ll take them off. Don’t strip me against my will. Stop it!
They both leave.
Formalhaut: (clears throat) Well then, let’s move on, shall we? The second marriage candidate, Royal Chevalier and Deputy Knight, Chevalier Lucidor Graphite. He is participating in the groom selection in order to settle his long unproductive relationship with Countess Largo.
Lucidor enters.
The countess is reading a letter.
Lucidor: You’re heart is just like a lark. When I think I am getting close, you go far away. When I think I can feed you from my hands, you fly off. You are toying with my heart and the wings of my heart have broken. (Breaks the plume in his hand) …Until the end I am not good with romantic lines, my apologies. You must be angry. Forgive me, Countess, I won’t visit you again. I am fortifying myself. Farewell, I wish you everlasting happiness. Royal Chevalier and Deputy Knight, Lucidor Graphite.
Lucidor leaves. The countess sighs, closes the letter and leaves too.
Agis, Keter and Chokhma enter. They are escorted by Colette.
Formalhaut: Next is the third marriage candidate, the 24th son of the king of the young country Le Cain, Agis Le Cain. Disillusioned with his position as the last son in a poor country, he participates in the groom selection, because he longs for the livelihood of a large country.
Agis: Let’s go, Keter, Chokhma, to a much wealthier country than this one. Marriage will be a step to get some foothold. Once I am up, I will live a sparkling life at the forefront of culture and civilization in this world, triumphing over my 23 older brothers. Glittering dances, tables laden with huge feasts… It’s somewhat intimidating… Colette, you have been looking well after me. When I am called to the ball in the royal city, I will certainly invite you too. Well, I am sure with my charm as youngest child I will make Sylvia fall madly in love with me. Let’s go.
Both: Yes.
Colette: Take care, Prince Agis.
Agis, Keter and Chokhma leave. Colette, fighting back tears, sends them off.
Leonid and Corinne enter.
Formalhaut: The fourth marriage candidate, Count Lowell’s son Fauchon and his servant Hermidas…
Leonid: Corinne, how is it? Do I look like a proper man?
Corinne: Miss Leonid, stretch your back a bit more and walk on tiptoes…
Leonid: Like this?
Formalhaut: The younger sister Leonid pretending to be Fauchon and her maid Corinne. She had been following Mario, the older brother of the bride, too excessively, and was prohibited from being in his proximity half a month ago. As her yearning became stronger, she imprisoned her clueless brother in order to go in his stead to Count Orgon’s residence.
Corinne: But Miss Leonid.
Leonid: That’s wrong, I am Fauchon… No, I (male pronoun) am Fauchon. Let’s go, Corinne, I mean… Let’s go, Hermidas… Right!
Corinne: Love is indeed a villain as they often say. (Female speech) What will become of this thing? ... No, (male speech) what will become of this? Ah, Miss, I mean, Sir!
Leonid and Corinne leave.
Formalhaut: Now, the final marriage candidate.
One of the itinerant entertainers, Altair, enters.
Altair: Boss, it’s terrible.
Formalhaut: What is it?
Altair: This was on top of our luggage.
They are all reading a letter.
Hermocrate appears on the inner stage.
Hermocrate: Everyone, my apologies. I cannot think of a conclusion. Please forgive my untalented self. Following my father’s advice I will participate in the groom selection. Please don’t look for me. Hermocrate.
Canopus: No, we will look, we will look.
Spica: Does he mean Count Orgon’s groom selection?
Electra: I don’t know, but in any case, let’s go to his mansion and see.
Rigel: Yes, tonight is our performance. At all costs we need to find out whether it’s a comedy or a tragedy.
People from the village appear and the festival starts.
Engaged couples are dancing.
The itinerant entertainers sing at the top of their voices.
Itinerant entertainers: Once upon a time, once upon a time
A fairy tale far away
A beautiful princess and her prospective grooms
All: The stars play the rondo of tender passion
The symphony of a misleading love
The day is sinking to the bottom of the dark night
I will certainly find a star that’s only mine
The marriage candidates are walking towards Count Orgon’s mansion.
All: Try to look into the depth of the heart
With transparent eyes you can see yourself
Try to look into the depth of the heart
With transparent eyes you can see yourself
Formalhaut: Well, let’s go to Count Orgon’s residence.
Scene 2: The Orgon Residence - Hallway
The hallway of the Orgon residence.
The head of the family Count Orgon, his daughter Sylvia and her maid Lisette.
The butler Julius and the servants Grue and Blanc also appear.
Sylvia: That’s why I find it detestable.
Orgon: Sylvia, my adorable daughter. As I like to say, please don’t cause me any trouble. You cannot mean to always remain unmarried, can you?
Sylvia: Oh, why not?
Orgon: Are you trying to be alone for eternity with people pointing at you behind your back and calling you a widow, an old spinster and a loser?
Sylvia: Oh, a loser is just fine, father.
Lisette: My lady!
Orgon: Sylvia, why is marriage so detestable to you?
Sylvia: For nothing in particular, I don’t have any reasons.
Sylvia’s brother Mario appears.
Mario: Her broken heart probably hasn’t healed yet.
Sylvia: Brother!
Orgon: Broken heart? Mario, what are you talking about?
Mario: I am talking about Albireo’s husband Raul. Sylvia was in love with him and now she’s just sulking, because he married our sister.
Albireo enters, dressed for an outing.
Albireo: Everyone, I am about to go out.
Sylvia: Sister.
Mario: My, if you gossip about…
Albireo: Gossip? What gossip?
Sylvia: Nothing at all.
Albireo: Well then, I am going to enjoy the Star Festival. Sylvia can’t come with me, despite of Raul being there too.
Sylvia: … Yes.
Albireo: But it can’t be helped because of the groom selection. I hope a lovely prince will appear in front of you. Father, when I’ve seen Raul and the festival I will return. That man is so busy. He will immediately return to the royal city again. Well then.
Albireo wants to leave in a half run and trips.
Albireo: Kyaaa!
Julius: Are you all right, my lady?
Albireo: Yes, I was in a hurry. Well then, I’ll be back, everyone. Have a nice day.
Orgon: Go have fun.
Albireo leaves.
Lisette: My lady, if you met a beautiful groom then maybe your mood would brighten up.
Sylvia: Yes, everyone will be beautiful and affectionate on the outside, but what will their true feelings be?
Lisette: Their true feelings?
Sylvia: When it comes to marriage, it’s not about appearance and charm; whether he has wise judgment or not is more important. But to see through that is a serious affair. They usually don’t look like wolves.
Mario: Women are dogs and men are wolves. Of course.
Sylvia: First they are affectionate and talk a lot about good and interesting topics. But after the wedding everything heard from their lips comes with a difficult face. And they slowly grow fat.
Orgon: Ah… Sylvia.
Sylvia: Father, you’re an exception. You’re an extremely rare example. But… Men are liars, even if they used to be so affectionate.
Mario: But I don’t intend to be double-faced.
Sylvia: It’s just that in your case both faces are treacherous.
Lisette: My lady! Anyway, meet and observe them. If there is no husband that can please you, you can still call it off.
Orgon: Of course.
Sylvia: But how can I know their real character? They will all disguise themselves in front of me.
Mario: I have a good idea.
Orgon: What is it, Mario?
Mario: Actually, there’s this play a friend of mine has written. It’s a story about a prospective bride and groom who change places with their servants to observe their partner…
Sylvia: Of course, I will change place with Lisette and Lisette can be me. Then I as Lisette will be able to observe the difference between the faces they show when courting Lisette as Sylvia and the faces she can’t see.
Lisette: My lady, I am getting dizzy.
Sylvia: It seems interesting. Father, I will do it. If there is a sincere one, I will become his wife willingly. Is that all right, Father?
Orgon: It can’t be helped. If this makes you happy, then let us try it.
Sylvia: Let’s go, Lisette.
Lisette: To do what?
Sylvia: To exchange clothes.
Lisette: With me?
Sylvia: Of course, you’re the only maid I have, Lisette.
Lisette: Please wait a moment! My lady!
They both leave.
Orgon: It can’t be helped. We have to make arrangements for the play. Julius, inform all the people in the manor.
Julius: My lord!
Orgon: Grue and Blanc, you will make preparations to welcome our guests. This will be entertaining.
Orgon, Julius, Grue and Blanc leave.
Hermocrate enters.
Mario: How treacherous. She has a wicked tongue. Today my holiday is ruined.
Hermocrate: Mario?!!
Mario: Hermocrate!
Hermocrate: What are you doing in this place?
Mario: What do you mean, this is my home.
Hermocrate: Your home? So, are you a relation of Lady Sylvia?
Mario: My little sister? It can’t be, you…
Hermocrate: Ah, I was called for the groom selection.
Mario: Hm, that’s a big disaster.
Hermocrate: What is it?
Mario: No, nothing. But is that all right for you, a playwright? I heard you were writing a new piece.
Hermocrate: It’s fine. I’ve returned home and listened to my father’s command to get married. There’s nothing else for me, because I don’t have any talent.
Mario: That is right.
Hermocrate: Hey, that’s cruel.
Mario: I have no interest in being of help. To begin with, I haven’t seen your play. How could I know whether you have talent or not? You are self-confident, so until now I wouldn’t have thought you’d call yourself untalented.
Hermocrate: That’s right. You’re that kind of guy. With your manner, whatever you said, you must have dumped that girl in a harsh way. If I remember correctly… was it Leonid?
Mario: I just told her that her excessive prowling around me was irritating and not to show herself a second time. I hate it more than anything to have my privacy invaded.
Hermocrate: But there are ways to say something like that. Don’t you understand people’s feelings?
Mario: I understand. For this reason… I find it tiresome. They exchange bad with good and hate with love, and all they talk about is foolishness. And even so, they all say that honesty is most important. I have decided to live honestly all by myself in this world.
Hermocrate: You have changed. I am surprised that there’s a woman in love with a man like you.
Mario: So am I. That’s why I said it’s better to end it. But how are things with you? I somehow heard you were going out with this actress…
Hermocrate: Please don’t talk about Emeraude.
Mario: Why? Ha-ha, well then…
Hermocrate: My recent play isn’t popular, so it doesn’t matter whether I finish it or not. I showed it to my patron and my lover and they caused me to abandon it. I have ignored my parents’ resistance and flown away from home as a foolish young man, but now the time has come to wake up from my dream.
Mario: Well, don’t torment yourself. You can’t expect that things will always be good.
Hermocrate: That’s typical of you.
A bell rings.
Julius enters.
Julius: The guests have arrived.
Mario: Well, let’s go. I will introduce you to my sister Sylvia.
Scene 3: The Orgon Residence - Salon
Count Orgon, the grooms and their attendants, some servants, and finally Dorante, Sylvia, Bourguignon and Lisette with changed clothes enter.
Julius: Royal Chevalier and Deputy Knight, Sir Lucidor Graphite. The 24th son of the King of Le Cain, Prince Agis Le Cain. The son of Count Lowell, Sir Fauchon de Lowell. From a remote region the son of Count Oswell, Sir Hermocrate Oswell Marquis. The son of the Duke of Vespert, Lord Dorante Vespert. (Clears throat) Count Orgon’s son, Sir Mario and finally Lady Sylvia d’Orgon.
Orgon: Everyone, today on this great day that has been blessed by the star, it is an honor to have you gathered here for my daughter Sylvia’s sake. Well, Sylvia, please welcome everyone.
Mario: You… Leonid.
Leonid: Shh!
Mario: What are you doing in this place? Moreover in this appearance.
Orgon: What is it, Mario?
Mario: Oh… Nothing.
Lisette: It’s impossible, my lady.
Sylvia: It will be fine. Broaden your chest; be dignified like a queen and coquettish like a princess.
Lisette: Everyone, I welcome you today…
Sylvia: You’re bowing too low.
Lisette: (Clears throat) Everyone…
Lisette: Thank you for gathering today for my sake
Until tonight feel at home
Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaase
Lisette: How is it?
Sylvia: Good performance.
Lisette: You are all lovely
Servants: It’s a joke
Lisette: It seems impossible to choose
Servants: A scheme
Lisette: But to find…
Servants: A whim
Lisette: A real prince
Servants: A disaster
Lucidor: Born with elegance others cannot compete with
Agis: The mystery of a deity born into civilization
A refined and prospering incarnation
Hermocrate: A rose in the middle of a field or the moon in the starry sky
Bewitching to the eye like a crane
Leonid: When standing a Chinese peony, when sitting a tree peony
A walking figure like a lily
Sylvia: I am splitting my sides laughing at such flattery
Dorante: Bizarre and astounding
Both: A third-rate play for the masses
Servants: The laughing ones…
Suitors: Lala…
Servants: Are being laughed at
Suitors: Lala…
Sylvia: Haha…
Servants: Those pointing fingers…
Suitors: Lala…
Lisette: Haha…
Servants: Have fingers pointing at them
Suitors: Lala…
Sylvia: Haha…
Servants: It’s poetic justice…
Suitors: Lala…
Lisette: Haha…
Servants: This groom selection
Suitors: Lala…
Sylvia: Haha…
Everyone except Dorante, Sylvia, Bourguignon and Lisette: Hahahaha!
Lisette is standing in front of Bourguignon.
Lisette: You haven’t said anything yet.
Bourguignon: You, you have stolen the words from my lips.
Bourguignon bluntly kisses Lisette’s hand. They fall in love.
Lisette: What a lovely person. Why is he so friendly…?
Sylvia: You.
Bourguignon: Yeah, I mean, yes.
Sylvia: What’s that? Without a warning you are impolite to my mistress.
Bourguignon: I am sorry.
Dorante steps forward too.
Dorante: You there. Despite being a maid you make comments on my master? Remember your place.
Sylvia: What’s that supposed to mean? Despite being a servant you talk in an extremely arrogant way. Tell me your name.
Dorante: Since you’re asking my name, introduce yourself first.
Sylvia: Fine. I am Lisette, Lady Sylvia’s maid.
Dorante: It’s Bourguignon, Lord Dorante’s attendant.
Sylvia: If a master is a master, then a servant is a servant.
Dorante: What does that mean?
Orgon: Lisette, remember your place. Bourguignon, you too.
Both: Humph!
Julius enters.
Julius: My lord, a guest has arrived.
Countess Largo enters.
Countess: Forgive my tardiness. Count Orgon, thank you for inviting me today. Well, these must be the marriage candidates… Oh…
The Countess notices Lucidor.
Lucidor: Countess, why are you…?
Countess: Lord Orgon is an old friend of my husband’s.
Orgon: That’s right. I haven’t seen him in a while, but when I was told that the Countess hadn’t been in a happy mood lately, I invited her to the groom selection today. (To Lucidor) Are you acquainted?
Countess: Yes… Relatively…
Orgon: Just right. Countess, let me show you the manor. Sylvia, please accompany our guests (winks). (To the Countess) Ah, it’s this way. Would you like some cognac? Well…
Everyone leaves.
Scene 4: The Orgon Residence - Hallway
Dorante and Sylvia want to go into opposite directions, but they are both hindering each other from passing.
Dorante: You are in my way. Move.
Sylvia: You move.
Dorante: I want to go over there.
Sylvia: Oh, you’ve separated yourself from your master. Where are you going?
Dorante: That’s none of your business.
Sylvia: It is very much. It is my job to protect my mistress’s happiness. I can’t have a questionable servant loitering around my mistress’s whereabouts.
Dorante: Questionable! ...But you have separated from your mistress too. Where are you going?
Sylvia: Nowhere in particular… To have a bit of a look at the guests…
Dorante: Huh, to be your beloved mistress’s spy, you mean.
Sylvia: Don’t say such unrespectable things. I am just studying people’s characters.
Dorante: And that requires you to do some peeking. What a nice hobby.
Sylvia: Huh, if they have nothing to be guilty of, it shouldn’t be a problem. Or could it be that there is something your master hopes I won’t find out?
Dorante: No… nothing… So, you’re saying you want to observe them.
Sylvia: Yes. You have a bad personality, but you are outspoken for a manservant and you seem to be quite intelligent. Therefore I will tell you.
Sylvia: An investigator of love for my lady
The real character of the marriage candidates
I will investigate them
In secrecy of course
Dorante: …That’s… bad.
Sylvia: Liars about love, that is
That is what men are
On the outside there are sweet words
Are there sweet words on the inside too
They use their two faces differently
Sylvia: Me, I won’t let my mistress suffer through that.
Dorante: What an outspoken woman. But I will tell her.
Dorante: It’s rather the women who are double-faced
They conceal their true faces behind make-up
But they forget about that
And are fascinated by their faces in the mirror
Those foolish things
Sylvia: You talk easily.
Dorante: So did you.
Both: The fugue of falsehood
You can’t see the answer
Dorante: Lies pile up on lies
Sylvia: The foolish ones are…
Dorante: Women! Women!
Sylvia: Men! Men!
They both feel like they have formed an alliance, and separate in a fluster.
Sylvia: Ah, you can understand it if I study them. Well, goodbye.
Sylvia is leaving.
Dorante: Wait.
Sylvia: What else?
Dorante: Let me join you in your investigation.
Sylvia: Why?
Dorante: It’s… No… Anyway, I can’t agree with your criticism of men, so I would like to see proof for what you said.
Sylvia: Fine. Let’s go together and I will prove to you that what I said was correct.
Dorante: (Aside) Bourguignon, I rely on you. I hope you have good acting skills.
Sylvia: What are you muttering, Bourguignon? Don’t stand there like a prince and follow me.
Dorante: Bourguignon? Ah, me. Good grief, this woman is as haughty as a queen.
They both leave.