Crackity Crack Crack
Title: Domestic Bliss
Rating: G
Warnings: Crack and weirdness all around.
Pairings: Were!Prowl x Vampire!Jazz.
Characters: Were!Prowl, Vampire!Jazz, and their horde. (Red Alert, Bluestreak, Techno, Barricade, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker)
Summary: There's a reason Were!Prowl dreads Vampire!Jazz's missions.
Notes: Silly little piece of crack and fluff I wrote for the bun bun and instigated by my ebil m-unit. This is pure and absolute crack and totally not part of the 'continuity' of Sanctuary... if we can even say there's a continuity for this anymore.
"What are you doing?" Hands brushed through what appeared to be soft fur.
"Combin' yer tail." Was the matter-of-fact reply.
A soft, faux irritated sigh. "Why?"
"'Cause it's fun."
"You're going to leave me alone with the lot of them, aren't you?" Prowl asked, not bothering to online both optics and flicking the tip of his tail.
"'Fraid so." Jazz murmured and trailed a claw tipped finger along the strut that comprised the soft tail.
"There's no way I could make you reconsider?" Prowl sighed again, nuzzling his head against the soft padding of their berth.
"Ya know I wouldn't go if I could help it, lover." Jazz murmured and trailed his lips along the back of his bonded's helm.
"I hope I can handle them all." Prowl shuddered and purred softly, feeling Jazz's lips capture the tip of an ear and nip playfully, tugging at it.
"I'm sure ya ca--" Jazz's words were interrupted by the sounds of crashing and breaking objects coming from outside the door of the dorm portion of their quarters. He sighed and slumped against his mate. "I'll make it up to ya, I promise."
Prowl merely grunted and with an annoyed sigh sat up, glaring daggers at the door. "Children, if I come out of this room and find a mess you're all going to be grounded." He called loudly. Soon enough both black and white mechs could hear the hurried trotting of multiple little feet scrambling around.
Jazz laughed softly and finally sat up, turning on the lights on a soft setting as he stretched. "Better get ready, Prime wants me ta report t'him in twenty minutes."
Prowl nodded and stretched as well, his tail swaying softly and his ears flattening against his helm as he let out a yawn. Jazz wouldn't say it out loud but Prowl did look like a yawning wolf when he stretched like that, or a very large and menacing Husky.
Flicking his tail one last time, Prowl left the room, hissing at how bright the lights of the lounge area were set. He shielded his optics with a hand until he adapted to the new, harsher light. Then, he looked around the room, and as he expected there was a mess around the shelves where the energon goodies were usually stored. None of his six sparklings could be seen in the room, but he knew them well, they were hiding somewhere among the furniture.
"You have ten seconds to get those little afts of yours here, and begin to clean up this mess." He growled. When no sound answered to him, and no little were-vampirelings showed up, he began to count from ten to one. As his countdown reached five, Barricade grunted and grudgingly dragged his weight from behind the couch, pouting visibly. After him trailed little Bluestreak who was trying to look as innocent as he could, little clawed hands clasped together on his lap, and Prowl was sure if he had a tail, it would be wagging cutely.
Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were shoving each other, muttering and growling to each other trying to shift the blame on each other. Techno was being dragged by his tail by Red Alert who looked positively agitated by his brother clinging with claws and fangs on the carpeting in hopes prevent his brother from dragging him out of his hiding place.
Prowl crossed his arms and looked down sternly at his six trouble makers, wondering how he was going to keep them in line the moment they realized Jazz was gone for the night. "What have I told you about trying to eat goodies before your feeding?"
"No doin' it," Red Alert said eagerly trying to appease his father, his little ears were flat against his helm and looking ready to burst into tears.
"We sorry?" Bluestreak looked up at his father, shuffling his little foot. Barricade grunted his agreement, he didn't look up at Prowl directly, peeking up at him every now and then from beneath his two black chevrons.
"Sunny did it!" Sideswipe was quick to point at his brother with his patented 'I didn't do it' expression.
"Did not!" Sunstreaker growled menacingly at his brother.
"Did!" Sideswipe stuck his little glossa out at his brother.
"No!" And with a loud growl, Sunstreaker pounced on his twin, wrestling him into submission.
"Yay!" Techno threw his hands up in the air, giggling and watching his brothers brawling. Looking not a bit like he was feeling guilty and most definitely delighted with the current fight.
Prowl's shoulders sagged and his wings drooped. Barricade began to bark threats at his brothers to separate, Red Alert burst into tears and Bluestreak hugged his brother trying to ease the distressed little sparkling.
"Got yer hands full tonight, lover," Jazz tried not to laugh and not sound amused, but it was hard not to watching his bondmate's wing drooping and twitching and his tail swaying about in that adorably distressed manner.
"They're going to be my doom." Prowl grunted exasperated and stalked towards the brawling twins. "Enough, you two!"
"Dadda!" Techno giggled and trotted to Jazz, bouncing up and down to be picked up. Jazz knew the sparklings had done wrong, so despite his wish to pick the sparkling he merely stroked his head, sending a clear message for Techno who sighed and sobered.
After Prowl gave the twins a lecture and sent them to their respective corners to cool down, the rest of the sparklings had to pick up the mess they had left. Barricade growled and barked at everything but complied, while Techno tried to hide the mess under the couch. Red Alert pointed at him 'cheating'.
"Techno," Jazz murmured warningly, and the sparkling chirped unhappily at his brother before he sneaked under the couch to drag out the mess, Red Alert happily and readily holding the waste basket for him to deposit the broken bits of jars and containers in.
Bluestreak chirped and warbled some words to himself and whoever cared to listen while he dragged a human sized broom which was the perfect size of a toy broom for them. He made a bigger mess than what he cleaned but neither Prowl or Jazz could get upset, at least he was trying to help. By the time Jazz was ready to go the twins had been released from their corners and the living area was clean again. "Sorry ta leave ya to feed 'em all today but I'm gonna run late." He kissed his bondmate's cheek.
"it's fine. Be careful, Jazz."
"Always am!"
Rating: G
Warnings: Crack and weirdness all around.
Pairings: Were!Prowl x Vampire!Jazz.
Characters: Were!Prowl, Vampire!Jazz, and their horde. (Red Alert, Bluestreak, Techno, Barricade, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker)
Summary: There's a reason Were!Prowl dreads Vampire!Jazz's missions.
Notes: Silly little piece of crack and fluff I wrote for the bun bun and instigated by my ebil m-unit. This is pure and absolute crack and totally not part of the 'continuity' of Sanctuary... if we can even say there's a continuity for this anymore.
"What are you doing?" Hands brushed through what appeared to be soft fur.
"Combin' yer tail." Was the matter-of-fact reply.
A soft, faux irritated sigh. "Why?"
"'Cause it's fun."
"You're going to leave me alone with the lot of them, aren't you?" Prowl asked, not bothering to online both optics and flicking the tip of his tail.
"'Fraid so." Jazz murmured and trailed a claw tipped finger along the strut that comprised the soft tail.
"There's no way I could make you reconsider?" Prowl sighed again, nuzzling his head against the soft padding of their berth.
"Ya know I wouldn't go if I could help it, lover." Jazz murmured and trailed his lips along the back of his bonded's helm.
"I hope I can handle them all." Prowl shuddered and purred softly, feeling Jazz's lips capture the tip of an ear and nip playfully, tugging at it.
"I'm sure ya ca--" Jazz's words were interrupted by the sounds of crashing and breaking objects coming from outside the door of the dorm portion of their quarters. He sighed and slumped against his mate. "I'll make it up to ya, I promise."
Prowl merely grunted and with an annoyed sigh sat up, glaring daggers at the door. "Children, if I come out of this room and find a mess you're all going to be grounded." He called loudly. Soon enough both black and white mechs could hear the hurried trotting of multiple little feet scrambling around.
Jazz laughed softly and finally sat up, turning on the lights on a soft setting as he stretched. "Better get ready, Prime wants me ta report t'him in twenty minutes."
Prowl nodded and stretched as well, his tail swaying softly and his ears flattening against his helm as he let out a yawn. Jazz wouldn't say it out loud but Prowl did look like a yawning wolf when he stretched like that, or a very large and menacing Husky.
Flicking his tail one last time, Prowl left the room, hissing at how bright the lights of the lounge area were set. He shielded his optics with a hand until he adapted to the new, harsher light. Then, he looked around the room, and as he expected there was a mess around the shelves where the energon goodies were usually stored. None of his six sparklings could be seen in the room, but he knew them well, they were hiding somewhere among the furniture.
"You have ten seconds to get those little afts of yours here, and begin to clean up this mess." He growled. When no sound answered to him, and no little were-vampirelings showed up, he began to count from ten to one. As his countdown reached five, Barricade grunted and grudgingly dragged his weight from behind the couch, pouting visibly. After him trailed little Bluestreak who was trying to look as innocent as he could, little clawed hands clasped together on his lap, and Prowl was sure if he had a tail, it would be wagging cutely.
Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were shoving each other, muttering and growling to each other trying to shift the blame on each other. Techno was being dragged by his tail by Red Alert who looked positively agitated by his brother clinging with claws and fangs on the carpeting in hopes prevent his brother from dragging him out of his hiding place.
Prowl crossed his arms and looked down sternly at his six trouble makers, wondering how he was going to keep them in line the moment they realized Jazz was gone for the night. "What have I told you about trying to eat goodies before your feeding?"
"No doin' it," Red Alert said eagerly trying to appease his father, his little ears were flat against his helm and looking ready to burst into tears.
"We sorry?" Bluestreak looked up at his father, shuffling his little foot. Barricade grunted his agreement, he didn't look up at Prowl directly, peeking up at him every now and then from beneath his two black chevrons.
"Sunny did it!" Sideswipe was quick to point at his brother with his patented 'I didn't do it' expression.
"Did not!" Sunstreaker growled menacingly at his brother.
"Did!" Sideswipe stuck his little glossa out at his brother.
"No!" And with a loud growl, Sunstreaker pounced on his twin, wrestling him into submission.
"Yay!" Techno threw his hands up in the air, giggling and watching his brothers brawling. Looking not a bit like he was feeling guilty and most definitely delighted with the current fight.
Prowl's shoulders sagged and his wings drooped. Barricade began to bark threats at his brothers to separate, Red Alert burst into tears and Bluestreak hugged his brother trying to ease the distressed little sparkling.
"Got yer hands full tonight, lover," Jazz tried not to laugh and not sound amused, but it was hard not to watching his bondmate's wing drooping and twitching and his tail swaying about in that adorably distressed manner.
"They're going to be my doom." Prowl grunted exasperated and stalked towards the brawling twins. "Enough, you two!"
"Dadda!" Techno giggled and trotted to Jazz, bouncing up and down to be picked up. Jazz knew the sparklings had done wrong, so despite his wish to pick the sparkling he merely stroked his head, sending a clear message for Techno who sighed and sobered.
After Prowl gave the twins a lecture and sent them to their respective corners to cool down, the rest of the sparklings had to pick up the mess they had left. Barricade growled and barked at everything but complied, while Techno tried to hide the mess under the couch. Red Alert pointed at him 'cheating'.
"Techno," Jazz murmured warningly, and the sparkling chirped unhappily at his brother before he sneaked under the couch to drag out the mess, Red Alert happily and readily holding the waste basket for him to deposit the broken bits of jars and containers in.
Bluestreak chirped and warbled some words to himself and whoever cared to listen while he dragged a human sized broom which was the perfect size of a toy broom for them. He made a bigger mess than what he cleaned but neither Prowl or Jazz could get upset, at least he was trying to help. By the time Jazz was ready to go the twins had been released from their corners and the living area was clean again. "Sorry ta leave ya to feed 'em all today but I'm gonna run late." He kissed his bondmate's cheek.
"it's fine. Be careful, Jazz."
"Always am!"