depressed and busting with pain
Do you ever have days were you are so depressed that the thought of stopping crying hurts? The thoughts that "wouldn't it just be easier to go away?" The feelings that the only reason anyone calls you is because they want something from you or for you to do something for them. The knowing that things would be easier for your family and those who you call friends if you were not around.
If you were not around you could not feel. What a fucking relief! You would not be around to hear everyone drama and how you should say something to someone to fix it for them. The freedom to be safe from live and all the mean-ness and hatred and pretending that everyone does. To no be overwhelmed by the responsibility of what seems like doing everything for everyone else.
Picturing the different ways to make blood flow from your body. See the pain and frustration just flowing down your body rolling one flood and the relief that it is no longer inside of you.
Well today is another one of these days. I usually don't post or post something cheerful just to reassure myself that no one really pays attention to what they don't want to. It is not that they don't know they just don't care. It is amazing that if they stop and actually ask, as soon as you start to say what you are really feeling everyone has somewhere to be or something to do.
AAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
If you were not around you could not feel. What a fucking relief! You would not be around to hear everyone drama and how you should say something to someone to fix it for them. The freedom to be safe from live and all the mean-ness and hatred and pretending that everyone does. To no be overwhelmed by the responsibility of what seems like doing everything for everyone else.
Picturing the different ways to make blood flow from your body. See the pain and frustration just flowing down your body rolling one flood and the relief that it is no longer inside of you.
Well today is another one of these days. I usually don't post or post something cheerful just to reassure myself that no one really pays attention to what they don't want to. It is not that they don't know they just don't care. It is amazing that if they stop and actually ask, as soon as you start to say what you are really feeling everyone has somewhere to be or something to do.
AAAYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!