life only gets worse as you get older...

[marsinator]

theres not much joy in things really...the only things looking forward to are only magnified by our needs and desires...its sad....dissapointment is sad too....you know, if maybe i were in better health condition things wouldn't feel so stale and i wouldnt feel so god damn dependant on the appearance of people....why do we rely on people anyways?

Comments

[lokaen]

Why do we rely on other people? A variety of reasons, I think. Firstly, when humans were in a more animal-like situation those whose random genetic expressions resulted in them liking to be in groups rather than liking to be solitary had two advantages- firstly, all of the increased survivability things that come with being in a pack(defense, ect.) but also that there are other people right there to mate with, insuring that a social urge was bred into humanity.

To relate the urge to rely on modern times, I will guess the following: The current system of law and social custom makes it difficult to function without banding together with other people at some point: one person is almost never so well informed, or has so much resource at hand that they can secure for themselves a permanent means of support. The current system of social custom is largely impersonal, and so the few instances of personal contact we still have are more important to us than a healthy lifestyle would make them. If I may speak as a metalhead, and for others of our subculture as well, I will say that the limited number of us combined with the great differences beetween what we like and what the average person likes is also something that drives one to make a particularly strong bond with someone. A person having in common an extreme viewpoint and worldview can lead, at least in my case, to an uncommonly strong inclination to want them in our 'pack'- being a person whos internal inclinations and external judgements puts them in a standard role of solitary despite whatever 'pack-instinct' they might have can lead one metalhead(or any other out-of-mainstream sort) to an artificially large attachment to other, even in the face of interpersonal unsuitabilities that would make it very clear to two persons with more options that association is counter-productive.

I think if I found out I had one day to live, I would visit with the friends and family dearest to me, and would not tell them it was the last time I would see them. Then i would go on a killing spree.

My brain is a bit shot from studying from midterms, so my apologies if that made no sense.

[marsinator]

thanks vlad...i miss you, good friend.