(no subject)
Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own these characters;
JK Rowling does, as does Warner Bros. I also do not own the song Changes. And
in case you couldn’t guess, this is the David Bowie version of Changes, not the
Tupac Shakur one. I highly doubt Tupac and a Harry Potter songfic (especially a
gay one) will ever mix.
Rated PG-13 for language, and adult themes.
I still don't know what I was waiting for
and my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
it seemed the taste was not so sweet
Dawn had broken over the shrieking shack, the sunlight casting weird shadows over two naked youths asleep on the threadbare carpets. One was thin and wiry, with long black hair and what once was a tan, but had gotten paler during the winter months. The other was shorter and had a larger build. His hair was short and blond, but he was unusually hairy for a sixteen year old.
The shorter one woke up, he propped himself up and looked around as if trying to remember where he was. He seemed to remember as he spotted a pair of underwear on the floor. He quickly stepped into his knickers and began to search for the rest of his clothes. He found his shirt, but it seemed that during the night, his pants had got ripped apart.
“Fuck!” he groaned.
“What is it Mooney?” said the taller boy.
“My goddamn pants.”
The taller boy laughed.
“It’s not funny Sirius.”
‘Oh come off it Remus. It’s still early, we can sneak into Hogwarts, everyone will be asleep, and no one will be the wiser.” Sirius had begun putting on his untouched clothes.
“Easier said than done.”
“Whatever. It’s too bad James and Peter were sick this month.” Sirius finished dressing.
“Well you know, if James does anything, Peter will just copy him.”
Sirius laughed. “Yeah. Peter practically kisses the ground James walks on; you’d think they’re going out.”
Remus blushed, but forced a smile. “I bet that’s why they’re both sick, James was sick and he passed it on to Peter while they were snogging!”
“Gross!” Sirius said while mock retching.
Remus felt his stomach drop. “Yeah, gross.” He replied halfheartedly.
“You all right?” Sirius asked, his voice suddenly becoming full of concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just afraid someone will see me in my skivvies.”
“Oh, don’t be modest. It’ll impress the ladies.”
Remus laughed, which made Sirius smile. And so they started off to Hogwarts.
So I turned myself to face me
but I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
“Still don’t know how we pulled that one off mate.” Remus whispered as he put on a pair of pants.
“Neither do I, we’re brilliant though.” Sirius replied.
The room was quiet, except for the congested snores of Peter and James. Remus and Sirius snickered quietly to themselves and then walked down to the Gryffindor commons.
“I half expected James and Peter to be in the same bed.” Sirius chuckled.
“Oh let it go Sirius.”
“What’s this I hear Mooney? Let it go? Maybe you’re the one who’s shagging Peter.”
“Hell no!” Remus cried, turning as crimson as the Gryffindor banners. “Look, I gotta go, Lily Evans is going to tutoring me in Potions.”
“Lily Evans? That stuck up bitch? You must be doing really bad at potions to sit through a tutoring session with her.”
“Well, maybe if he didn’t sit next to you he would be able to pay attention, and he wouldn’t need tutoring.” Said a voice from behind them. They turned around and saw Lily Evans. Her green eyes blazing.
“Come on Remus,” she exclaimed, grabbing Remus’s hand and dragging him out of the commons room. Remus mouthed the words “See you later” to Sirius as she pulled him out the door.
“I don’t know what you see in them.” Lily huffed as they walked to the library.
“What? They’re nice guys.”
“Yeah, anyone will tell you that. Just ask Severus.”
“Severus is a complete arse. I don’t know why you stick up for him, he absolutely loathes you.”
“Well, if someone would be nice to him, he wouldn’t be such an arse, would he?”
“I doubt it. I don’t think James should be as mean as he is, but I know his problems are far deeper than teasing.”
“Well, at least you’re sensible.” Lily said softly as they approached the library. She was giving Remus a look that turned him on, yet at the same time made his stomach turn.
“OK, let’s get to work,” Remus said quickly, “I’m having trouble with the Fire Protection potion.”
“Oh wow, that is a hard one.” Lily exclaimed.
“Well, you seem to make it quite well.”
Lily blushed. “Thank you.” She giggled.
The morning went by quickly enough, though Remus found Lily a little distracting. She kept making cow eyes at him, but every time she did, he found himself wishing that it was Sirius, not Lily. Why? Lily was hot; a month ago he would have undressed her right there in the library. But then again, he also had a few queer thoughts about James. Peter, however, was never prominent in Remus’s wank sessions.
As they walked out of the library, Lily grabbed his hand and led him to an empty corridor.
“What are you doing Lily?”
“This.” And Lily grabbed Remus’s head and kissed him, hard and passionate. Any boy in Hogwarts would kill for Lily Evans to kiss him like that, except Remus. Instead he thought of Sirius, and tears formed in his eyes. He shoved Lily off of him and ran to the Gryffindor common room.
“What are you doing?” She called, running after him.
“It’s not going to work.” Remus called back.
“Because you’re a werewolf?”
Remus stopped. He turned around and stared at Lily. She was breathing hard.
“I’m not stupid Remus.”
“Oh. But if you know, why are you doing this?”
Lily shrugged. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
Remus laughed.
“So what do you say?”
“Sorry, but I fancy someone else.”
“Who?”
“I can’t tell you.”
Lily opened her mouth to say something in protest, but decided against it.
“Too bad, I fancy you Remus. You’re a great guy, and I still don’t understand what you see in James and Sirius.”
Remus smiled. “Well, they don’t seem to care I’m a werewolf.”
“Wow, I’d figure they’d never like you if they figured it out. I mean, first of all, I’m surprised they figured it out at all. I thought James would never do anything to hurt his popularity, and Sirius…”
“Shut up about Sirius!” Remus yelled before he could stop.
Lily just stared at him, and then started to laugh.
“Oh my God, Remus. You’re in love with Sirius.”
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
‘That bitch!’ Sirius thought as Remus left the room. He was enjoying the time he was spending alone with Remus. He wondered if Remus was enjoying time alone with him. He was secretly glad James was sick, even though he was his best mate.
He sat down on a nearby couch and thought about Remus. Having a crush on blokes was nothing new for Sirius, hell, they were the only people he ever had crushes on, but he had been friends with Remus for years. Why did he feel weak whenever Remus walked near?
It had started at the last Quidditch match. James was playing, of course, and Sirius and Remus had taken their usual front row seats. An hour into the game, James had caught the snitch, and the game was won! Remus and Sirius hugged each other tightly, relishing Gryffindor’s victory. And in that instant, something changed. Sirius had never before noticed how Remus’s eyes sparkled when he laughed, or the way his hair ruffled in the wind.
“Come on Sirius,” Remus cried in his suddenly melodious voice, “there’s gonna be a party in the commons tonight.”
“OK.” Replied Sirius, suddenly dumbstruck.
And now he was in love, in this weird nervous way. It was killing him; he wanted to talk to Remus, alone, about things they never talked about. He wanted to tell him every last detail about himself, and learn everything about Remus. Every time he walked in front of him, Sirius just wanted to wrap his arms around Remus and kiss him. And while he was ashamed to admit it, he had sneaked peek while Remus was naked, and he liked what he saw.
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through
“You must really like me Sirius.” James croaked as Sirius balanced a tray with two bowls of chicken noodle soup. Sirius placed the tray on the desk next to the beds. He gave one to James, who gingerly blew on his spoon before taking a sip.
“Thank you.” Squeaked Peter as Sirius handed him a bowl.
The two ate in silence while Sirius sat down at his desk to write a letter.
“Who’re you writing to?” James asked.
“Your mum,” Sirius replied, “I want her to send us some of those tea leaves she used when I was sick last summer.”
“Ah.”
Sirius quickly scribbled the note:
Dear Mrs. Potter
It seems James and Peter are sick. Could you send us some of that tea you gave me last summer? I felt so much better after drinking it, and I thought it might cheer James and Peter up. I’m doing well, and so is Remus. We all send our love and hope you’re doing well.
Love,
Sirius.
“I’m off.” He told the two invalids as he departed for the owlery. He walked briskly across the halls, smiling to his friends, and whistling cheerfully. He even let Severus off without tormenting him. He was going to see if Remus was still stuck with Lily in the library before sending his letter. He quickly looked in the library; there were a few first years, but other than that no one. He turned around to head to the owlery. When he saw Lily and Remus, laughing and talking as they walked towards him.
“Hi Sirius.” Remus said.
“Hey Remus.” He turned to Lily. “Evans.”
Lily nodded.
“You have fun studying?” He asked Remus.
“It was all right.” Remus replied. It was then that Sirius noticed a lipstick smear on Remus’s lip. It was the same cherry red as Lily’s. Sirius’s stomach churned.
“So what are you up to?” Lily asked.
“What? Oh, sending a letter to James’s mom.”
“You want me to come with?” asked Remus.
“No!” Sirius’s voice choked. “No, I’m fine. See you in the commons.”
“OK.” Remus seemed a little disappointed as they walked off.
How could he could he kiss her? How could she kiss him? “Whore.” He whispered to himself, hot tears swelling in his eyes. He ran to the owlery, unfortunately he had forgotten to take his coat. He shivered as the cold wind blew through the windows. He chattered as he tied the letter to his owl. He felt like throwing up. He wanted to hit something, he wished Lily was dead. God, he hated her. First James started to pay attention to her, and now this.
He walked out the door and into the stairway back to Hogwarts. He stood for a moment, and then felt the tears come. They rushed past his eyes with a burning sensation; they scalded his cheeks and hit the ground. He slowly knelt down, and sat cross legged, his head in his hands. It was beginning to snow. He stayed there for about ten minutes until he heard a familiar voice.
“Oy, Sirius. Wots a matter?”
Sirius looked up and saw Hagrid’s bearded face looking back at him.
“And why arn’ you wearin a coat? You’ll catch you’re death out ‘ere!”
Sirius slowly picked himself up and hugged Hagrid.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asked.
“No.”
“You wanna go to my ‘ut and ‘ave a cup o tea?”
“I’d like that.” Sirius sniffed.
“Come on,” he said as he took Sirius under his arm and led him down the stairs. He spotted Frank Longbottom. “Hey Frank, could you go get Sirius’s coat?”
“Sure Hagrid!” Frank replied.
“You’re gonna be alright, Sirius. Don’t you worry.”
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time
Hagrid’s hut was warm and the tea he brewed was even warmer. Sirius sat quietly while Hagrid started fixing up some sure-to-be-harder-than-hell muffins.
“So,” Hagrid said as he put the muffins into the oven. “Are you gonna tell me wots wrong or am I gonna ‘ave to force you outta it?
Sirius didn’t know what to tell Hagrid, he wanted to confide his feelings to someone. But tell Hagrid he was in love with Remus? That would never work. So he decided to be vague.
“I saw Remus and Lily walking together.”
“So? Just because you don’t like ‘er doesn’t mean ‘e can’t.” Hagrid said, sitting down in the chair with a cup of tea in hand.
“Well, what bothered me was the fact that you could tell they were snogging, you could see her lipstick on his lips.”
Hagrid grabbed the bottom of the cup, as if he was about to drop it. “Blimey Sirius,” he said, “Do you have a crush on Lily?”
It killed Sirius to say it, but he had to. “Yes.”
“Well, I never thought you would like her. But opposites attract, or so they say.”
“Yeah.” Sirius said quietly.
“Well, Sirius, the only thing I can say is to forget about ‘er. You’ll get over it soon.”
“But what if I don’t want to?”
“Wot?”
“I don’t want to forget about Lily. I like being in love, even if it’s unrequited! I don’t want to lose the feeling I get whenever I see, or talk to, or think about him!”
Hagrid raised an eyebrow.
“Her.” Sirius said quietly. Hagrid looked uncomfortable. They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes.
“Where do you think Longbottom is with that coat?”
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through
“I’m glad I’m finally able to talk about this with someone.” Remus said as he and Lily sat on the couch. The room was uncannily empty for a Saturday afternoon. “But you promise you won’t tell anyone, right?”
“Of course I won’t.”
“Thanks.”
“I just have one question.”
“Shoot.”
“How do two blokes shag?”
Remus laughed. “I wish I could answer that question. I never...”
“Felix Felicis!”
The fat lady’s portrait swung open to reveal Frank Longbottom coming into the commons. Lily and Remus looked at each other; they knew that the conversation was over.
“Hey Frank!” Lily and Remus said in unison.
“Hi Lily. Hi Remus.”
“How’s it going?” Remus asked.
“Getting a coat for Sirius,” he replied, “actually, do you wanna get it Remus? He’s at Hagrid’s place.”
“OK. Thanks Frank, bye Lily.” Remus went up to get the coat. He crept in, James and Peter were asleep. He grabbed the coat, rolled it up into a ball, and ran down the stairs.
Once he got outside of the school, he stopped. His lycanthropy gave him a few skills. For one, he could hear extremely well, and his night time vision was killer. But the sense that worked best was his sense of smell. He knew all of his friends by scent alone. And he knew Sirius’s the best. And so he unrolled the coat, and, feeling a little dirty, took a sniff. Sirius had a very distinctive smell, he smelled like burnt wood and sweat. Not the fetid scent of sweat made while sitting in the sun, but the fresh sweat smell of movement. Sirius hugged the coat close to him, and walked towards Hagrid’s hut. He could see smoke coming out of the chimney. Though it was getting harder, the snow was falling faster and thicker than before.
He finally made it to the door of Hagrid’s hut, and knocked loudly. Hagrid answered the door.
“Ah, ‘ere’s our little Casanova now.” He said, ushering Remus into the hut.
“What?” Remus asked, bewildered.
“We know about you and Lily snogging.” Sirius said; his voice full of accusations.
“We didn’t snog!”
“Don’t lie; I saw her lipstick on your lips.”
“Oh,” what was he going to do now? “We weren’t really snogging. Well, she kissed me, but I didn’t kiss her back.”
“Wha?” Hagrid said. He and Sirius looked at him, bewildered.
“You mean, you don’t like her?” Sirius sounded hopeful.
“I only like her as a friend.”
Hagrid clapped his hands. “See now Sirius, you have a chance with Lily after all.”
Remus’s stomach dropped.
“You all right?” Hagrid asked.
“I’m a little cold.”
“Here, have some of my tea.” Sirius said, handing him his glass.
“Thanks,” Remus took the tea and held out the coat. “Here’s your coat.”
Remus sat down and drank the tea. A timer went off with a loud ding.
“Those would be the muffins.” Said Hagrid.
Sirius and Remus shared a pained look.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time
It was hard, but they managed to choke down a few muffins. They talked to Hagrid about classes and teachers. Soon the conversation turned quiet, and Sirius looked out the window. It was dark.
Sirius put on his coat. “Ready to go Remus?”
“Sure.”
They stepped out of the warmth of the hut and into the snow. They looked at each other, and started their trek.
“I don’t really like Lily.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, Hagrid thought of that on his own.”
“Oh.” Remus shivered. “It’s freezing!”
Sirius got a pensive look in his eyes, then said; “Wanna huddle together for warmth.”
“Sure.”
Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius, his scent was clearer than ever. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus, and it felt better than he had imagined.
Rated PG-13 for language, and adult themes.
I still don't know what I was waiting for
and my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
it seemed the taste was not so sweet
Dawn had broken over the shrieking shack, the sunlight casting weird shadows over two naked youths asleep on the threadbare carpets. One was thin and wiry, with long black hair and what once was a tan, but had gotten paler during the winter months. The other was shorter and had a larger build. His hair was short and blond, but he was unusually hairy for a sixteen year old.
The shorter one woke up, he propped himself up and looked around as if trying to remember where he was. He seemed to remember as he spotted a pair of underwear on the floor. He quickly stepped into his knickers and began to search for the rest of his clothes. He found his shirt, but it seemed that during the night, his pants had got ripped apart.
“Fuck!” he groaned.
“What is it Mooney?” said the taller boy.
“My goddamn pants.”
The taller boy laughed.
“It’s not funny Sirius.”
‘Oh come off it Remus. It’s still early, we can sneak into Hogwarts, everyone will be asleep, and no one will be the wiser.” Sirius had begun putting on his untouched clothes.
“Easier said than done.”
“Whatever. It’s too bad James and Peter were sick this month.” Sirius finished dressing.
“Well you know, if James does anything, Peter will just copy him.”
Sirius laughed. “Yeah. Peter practically kisses the ground James walks on; you’d think they’re going out.”
Remus blushed, but forced a smile. “I bet that’s why they’re both sick, James was sick and he passed it on to Peter while they were snogging!”
“Gross!” Sirius said while mock retching.
Remus felt his stomach drop. “Yeah, gross.” He replied halfheartedly.
“You all right?” Sirius asked, his voice suddenly becoming full of concern.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just afraid someone will see me in my skivvies.”
“Oh, don’t be modest. It’ll impress the ladies.”
Remus laughed, which made Sirius smile. And so they started off to Hogwarts.
So I turned myself to face me
but I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
“Still don’t know how we pulled that one off mate.” Remus whispered as he put on a pair of pants.
“Neither do I, we’re brilliant though.” Sirius replied.
The room was quiet, except for the congested snores of Peter and James. Remus and Sirius snickered quietly to themselves and then walked down to the Gryffindor commons.
“I half expected James and Peter to be in the same bed.” Sirius chuckled.
“Oh let it go Sirius.”
“What’s this I hear Mooney? Let it go? Maybe you’re the one who’s shagging Peter.”
“Hell no!” Remus cried, turning as crimson as the Gryffindor banners. “Look, I gotta go, Lily Evans is going to tutoring me in Potions.”
“Lily Evans? That stuck up bitch? You must be doing really bad at potions to sit through a tutoring session with her.”
“Well, maybe if he didn’t sit next to you he would be able to pay attention, and he wouldn’t need tutoring.” Said a voice from behind them. They turned around and saw Lily Evans. Her green eyes blazing.
“Come on Remus,” she exclaimed, grabbing Remus’s hand and dragging him out of the commons room. Remus mouthed the words “See you later” to Sirius as she pulled him out the door.
“I don’t know what you see in them.” Lily huffed as they walked to the library.
“What? They’re nice guys.”
“Yeah, anyone will tell you that. Just ask Severus.”
“Severus is a complete arse. I don’t know why you stick up for him, he absolutely loathes you.”
“Well, if someone would be nice to him, he wouldn’t be such an arse, would he?”
“I doubt it. I don’t think James should be as mean as he is, but I know his problems are far deeper than teasing.”
“Well, at least you’re sensible.” Lily said softly as they approached the library. She was giving Remus a look that turned him on, yet at the same time made his stomach turn.
“OK, let’s get to work,” Remus said quickly, “I’m having trouble with the Fire Protection potion.”
“Oh wow, that is a hard one.” Lily exclaimed.
“Well, you seem to make it quite well.”
Lily blushed. “Thank you.” She giggled.
The morning went by quickly enough, though Remus found Lily a little distracting. She kept making cow eyes at him, but every time she did, he found himself wishing that it was Sirius, not Lily. Why? Lily was hot; a month ago he would have undressed her right there in the library. But then again, he also had a few queer thoughts about James. Peter, however, was never prominent in Remus’s wank sessions.
As they walked out of the library, Lily grabbed his hand and led him to an empty corridor.
“What are you doing Lily?”
“This.” And Lily grabbed Remus’s head and kissed him, hard and passionate. Any boy in Hogwarts would kill for Lily Evans to kiss him like that, except Remus. Instead he thought of Sirius, and tears formed in his eyes. He shoved Lily off of him and ran to the Gryffindor common room.
“What are you doing?” She called, running after him.
“It’s not going to work.” Remus called back.
“Because you’re a werewolf?”
Remus stopped. He turned around and stared at Lily. She was breathing hard.
“I’m not stupid Remus.”
“Oh. But if you know, why are you doing this?”
Lily shrugged. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
Remus laughed.
“So what do you say?”
“Sorry, but I fancy someone else.”
“Who?”
“I can’t tell you.”
Lily opened her mouth to say something in protest, but decided against it.
“Too bad, I fancy you Remus. You’re a great guy, and I still don’t understand what you see in James and Sirius.”
Remus smiled. “Well, they don’t seem to care I’m a werewolf.”
“Wow, I’d figure they’d never like you if they figured it out. I mean, first of all, I’m surprised they figured it out at all. I thought James would never do anything to hurt his popularity, and Sirius…”
“Shut up about Sirius!” Remus yelled before he could stop.
Lily just stared at him, and then started to laugh.
“Oh my God, Remus. You’re in love with Sirius.”
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
don’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
‘That bitch!’ Sirius thought as Remus left the room. He was enjoying the time he was spending alone with Remus. He wondered if Remus was enjoying time alone with him. He was secretly glad James was sick, even though he was his best mate.
He sat down on a nearby couch and thought about Remus. Having a crush on blokes was nothing new for Sirius, hell, they were the only people he ever had crushes on, but he had been friends with Remus for years. Why did he feel weak whenever Remus walked near?
It had started at the last Quidditch match. James was playing, of course, and Sirius and Remus had taken their usual front row seats. An hour into the game, James had caught the snitch, and the game was won! Remus and Sirius hugged each other tightly, relishing Gryffindor’s victory. And in that instant, something changed. Sirius had never before noticed how Remus’s eyes sparkled when he laughed, or the way his hair ruffled in the wind.
“Come on Sirius,” Remus cried in his suddenly melodious voice, “there’s gonna be a party in the commons tonight.”
“OK.” Replied Sirius, suddenly dumbstruck.
And now he was in love, in this weird nervous way. It was killing him; he wanted to talk to Remus, alone, about things they never talked about. He wanted to tell him every last detail about himself, and learn everything about Remus. Every time he walked in front of him, Sirius just wanted to wrap his arms around Remus and kiss him. And while he was ashamed to admit it, he had sneaked peek while Remus was naked, and he liked what he saw.
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through
“You must really like me Sirius.” James croaked as Sirius balanced a tray with two bowls of chicken noodle soup. Sirius placed the tray on the desk next to the beds. He gave one to James, who gingerly blew on his spoon before taking a sip.
“Thank you.” Squeaked Peter as Sirius handed him a bowl.
The two ate in silence while Sirius sat down at his desk to write a letter.
“Who’re you writing to?” James asked.
“Your mum,” Sirius replied, “I want her to send us some of those tea leaves she used when I was sick last summer.”
“Ah.”
Sirius quickly scribbled the note:
Dear Mrs. Potter
It seems James and Peter are sick. Could you send us some of that tea you gave me last summer? I felt so much better after drinking it, and I thought it might cheer James and Peter up. I’m doing well, and so is Remus. We all send our love and hope you’re doing well.
Love,
Sirius.
“I’m off.” He told the two invalids as he departed for the owlery. He walked briskly across the halls, smiling to his friends, and whistling cheerfully. He even let Severus off without tormenting him. He was going to see if Remus was still stuck with Lily in the library before sending his letter. He quickly looked in the library; there were a few first years, but other than that no one. He turned around to head to the owlery. When he saw Lily and Remus, laughing and talking as they walked towards him.
“Hi Sirius.” Remus said.
“Hey Remus.” He turned to Lily. “Evans.”
Lily nodded.
“You have fun studying?” He asked Remus.
“It was all right.” Remus replied. It was then that Sirius noticed a lipstick smear on Remus’s lip. It was the same cherry red as Lily’s. Sirius’s stomach churned.
“So what are you up to?” Lily asked.
“What? Oh, sending a letter to James’s mom.”
“You want me to come with?” asked Remus.
“No!” Sirius’s voice choked. “No, I’m fine. See you in the commons.”
“OK.” Remus seemed a little disappointed as they walked off.
How could he could he kiss her? How could she kiss him? “Whore.” He whispered to himself, hot tears swelling in his eyes. He ran to the owlery, unfortunately he had forgotten to take his coat. He shivered as the cold wind blew through the windows. He chattered as he tied the letter to his owl. He felt like throwing up. He wanted to hit something, he wished Lily was dead. God, he hated her. First James started to pay attention to her, and now this.
He walked out the door and into the stairway back to Hogwarts. He stood for a moment, and then felt the tears come. They rushed past his eyes with a burning sensation; they scalded his cheeks and hit the ground. He slowly knelt down, and sat cross legged, his head in his hands. It was beginning to snow. He stayed there for about ten minutes until he heard a familiar voice.
“Oy, Sirius. Wots a matter?”
Sirius looked up and saw Hagrid’s bearded face looking back at him.
“And why arn’ you wearin a coat? You’ll catch you’re death out ‘ere!”
Sirius slowly picked himself up and hugged Hagrid.
“You wanna talk about it?” He asked.
“No.”
“You wanna go to my ‘ut and ‘ave a cup o tea?”
“I’d like that.” Sirius sniffed.
“Come on,” he said as he took Sirius under his arm and led him down the stairs. He spotted Frank Longbottom. “Hey Frank, could you go get Sirius’s coat?”
“Sure Hagrid!” Frank replied.
“You’re gonna be alright, Sirius. Don’t you worry.”
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time
Hagrid’s hut was warm and the tea he brewed was even warmer. Sirius sat quietly while Hagrid started fixing up some sure-to-be-harder-than-hell muffins.
“So,” Hagrid said as he put the muffins into the oven. “Are you gonna tell me wots wrong or am I gonna ‘ave to force you outta it?
Sirius didn’t know what to tell Hagrid, he wanted to confide his feelings to someone. But tell Hagrid he was in love with Remus? That would never work. So he decided to be vague.
“I saw Remus and Lily walking together.”
“So? Just because you don’t like ‘er doesn’t mean ‘e can’t.” Hagrid said, sitting down in the chair with a cup of tea in hand.
“Well, what bothered me was the fact that you could tell they were snogging, you could see her lipstick on his lips.”
Hagrid grabbed the bottom of the cup, as if he was about to drop it. “Blimey Sirius,” he said, “Do you have a crush on Lily?”
It killed Sirius to say it, but he had to. “Yes.”
“Well, I never thought you would like her. But opposites attract, or so they say.”
“Yeah.” Sirius said quietly.
“Well, Sirius, the only thing I can say is to forget about ‘er. You’ll get over it soon.”
“But what if I don’t want to?”
“Wot?”
“I don’t want to forget about Lily. I like being in love, even if it’s unrequited! I don’t want to lose the feeling I get whenever I see, or talk to, or think about him!”
Hagrid raised an eyebrow.
“Her.” Sirius said quietly. Hagrid looked uncomfortable. They sat in an awkward silence for a few minutes.
“Where do you think Longbottom is with that coat?”
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through
“I’m glad I’m finally able to talk about this with someone.” Remus said as he and Lily sat on the couch. The room was uncannily empty for a Saturday afternoon. “But you promise you won’t tell anyone, right?”
“Of course I won’t.”
“Thanks.”
“I just have one question.”
“Shoot.”
“How do two blokes shag?”
Remus laughed. “I wish I could answer that question. I never...”
“Felix Felicis!”
The fat lady’s portrait swung open to reveal Frank Longbottom coming into the commons. Lily and Remus looked at each other; they knew that the conversation was over.
“Hey Frank!” Lily and Remus said in unison.
“Hi Lily. Hi Remus.”
“How’s it going?” Remus asked.
“Getting a coat for Sirius,” he replied, “actually, do you wanna get it Remus? He’s at Hagrid’s place.”
“OK. Thanks Frank, bye Lily.” Remus went up to get the coat. He crept in, James and Peter were asleep. He grabbed the coat, rolled it up into a ball, and ran down the stairs.
Once he got outside of the school, he stopped. His lycanthropy gave him a few skills. For one, he could hear extremely well, and his night time vision was killer. But the sense that worked best was his sense of smell. He knew all of his friends by scent alone. And he knew Sirius’s the best. And so he unrolled the coat, and, feeling a little dirty, took a sniff. Sirius had a very distinctive smell, he smelled like burnt wood and sweat. Not the fetid scent of sweat made while sitting in the sun, but the fresh sweat smell of movement. Sirius hugged the coat close to him, and walked towards Hagrid’s hut. He could see smoke coming out of the chimney. Though it was getting harder, the snow was falling faster and thicker than before.
He finally made it to the door of Hagrid’s hut, and knocked loudly. Hagrid answered the door.
“Ah, ‘ere’s our little Casanova now.” He said, ushering Remus into the hut.
“What?” Remus asked, bewildered.
“We know about you and Lily snogging.” Sirius said; his voice full of accusations.
“We didn’t snog!”
“Don’t lie; I saw her lipstick on your lips.”
“Oh,” what was he going to do now? “We weren’t really snogging. Well, she kissed me, but I didn’t kiss her back.”
“Wha?” Hagrid said. He and Sirius looked at him, bewildered.
“You mean, you don’t like her?” Sirius sounded hopeful.
“I only like her as a friend.”
Hagrid clapped his hands. “See now Sirius, you have a chance with Lily after all.”
Remus’s stomach dropped.
“You all right?” Hagrid asked.
“I’m a little cold.”
“Here, have some of my tea.” Sirius said, handing him his glass.
“Thanks,” Remus took the tea and held out the coat. “Here’s your coat.”
Remus sat down and drank the tea. A timer went off with a loud ding.
“Those would be the muffins.” Said Hagrid.
Sirius and Remus shared a pained look.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time
It was hard, but they managed to choke down a few muffins. They talked to Hagrid about classes and teachers. Soon the conversation turned quiet, and Sirius looked out the window. It was dark.
Sirius put on his coat. “Ready to go Remus?”
“Sure.”
They stepped out of the warmth of the hut and into the snow. They looked at each other, and started their trek.
“I don’t really like Lily.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, Hagrid thought of that on his own.”
“Oh.” Remus shivered. “It’s freezing!”
Sirius got a pensive look in his eyes, then said; “Wanna huddle together for warmth.”
“Sure.”
Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius, his scent was clearer than ever. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus, and it felt better than he had imagined.