My resolutions as an 18-year old
I hereby agree that I will do all of the following, effective immediately on Tuesday, September the 6th:
(Disclaimer: This list and all of it's contents are completely fictional, and I intend to do absolutely nothing on them. Well, #1 and #3, I will probably do, but the rest are all just in good humor, and are not to be taken seriously.)
- I will vote in everything possible. I will go to elections, poll sites, rate my pics. Everything. I could do the latter two anyway, but this time it will feel more 'legal'.
- I will call every phone number I see on TV and order anything I see. Now that I will be 18, I can do that.
- I will transfer everything into my name. My website, my computer, my telephone, my Pokemon cards, and my toothbrush are all included.
- I will download at least 30 MB of porn everyday.
- I will go to the adult movies section in every rental place anytime I go there, and rent at least 4 movies back there.
- I will buy a pack of cigarettes every day. I still don't intend on smoking, though, but I just want to buy them because I can.
- I will stay up until 4:00AM every night, then sleep until 3:00PM. Bedtimes are a thing of the past!
- I will go and try to adopt a whole ton of children. Of course, I won't get accepted for any, but oh well.
- I will adopt pets instead of children. Scratch that last one, sorry.
- I will never even look at any women under 18 years of age. Well, maybe just a peek at the hotties, but they can say they're 18, right?
- I will will not go to jail simply because I can because I am a good boy, and I was wasn't looking at underaged women. And I swear I'm not giving those cigarette cartons to kids either! I, uhh, collect them!
- I will go to Hooters twice a week. Correction: at least twice a week.
- I will go to online dating sites and say I'm 23/m/FL/looking, and I have a wicked tan and a 6-pack. (note to self: find picture of very attractive man meeting these descriptions, otherwise I'm screwed)
- I will apply to a billion colleges even though I don't have a GED or any education. I'm just a retard.
- I will not listen to a single thing my parents say, because I don't have to now. Legally.
- I will buy every AO (Adults-Only 18+) game out there. Just because I can.
- I will go to jury duty at every opportunity I get. Fun stuff!
(Disclaimer: This list and all of it's contents are completely fictional, and I intend to do absolutely nothing on them. Well, #1 and #3, I will probably do, but the rest are all just in good humor, and are not to be taken seriously.)