(no subject)
It's been a while since I've posted (as usual) but I've been thinking about posting for a while, so I can look back in the future. Also I'm avoiding my thesis...
So I'm in fourth year of my course now and I got accepted into Honours, something I'd been working towards since the beginning of my course. I'm not sure why I felt like I NEEDED to get into Honours. I think maybe it's to do with 'imposter syndrome', feelings of inadequacy and needing objective evidence that I am intelligent (although my self-talk says otherwise). Either way, I set myself a goal and achieved it so I should be proud of that.
It's been tough being at home by myself for hours at a time and being so far from most of my friends. My normally quite well managed depression and anxiety became unmanageable, exacerbated by very low levels of B12 and vitamin D (I forgot to take my supplements like an idiot).
I decided to 'OT' myself and implemented a self-care routine; taking my vitamins every day, sleep hygiene regime including disconnecting from social media at 8pm every night, once a day gardening, time with my pets, trying to see people (but mostly failing because I'm too depressed to motivate myself to drive long distances). I also applied for special considerations to give me a bit of extra leeway with thesis deadlines. This has been accepted and my supervisor has been very supportive. I'm still really struggling with ADHD and making myself do the work because it's not in a format that is interesting for me. Sometimes it feels physically painful to make myself do the work and the problem is that my ADHD medication gives me unpleasant side effects. So it's damned if you do, damned if you don't really. Either way it's a struggle.
I also decided to start working again because:
1) I hate having to ask Honor for money and for permission to spend money. It feels demoralising.
2) I need to human contact.
3) I want to keep my skills fresh.
I applied for a lot of different positions. Yesterday I signed start paperwork for Brightwater and that afternoon Therapy Focus also offered me a job. They're both casual so I'm going to accept both but if it gets unmanageable I will choose the one that suits me best. At TF I'd be able to actively practice my OT skills and could potentially turn it into an OT role when I graduate so I'm hoping to get lots of work through them. However I have two 7 week placements this year and at Brightwater I could work evenings and weekends, so they both have their advantages. Hopefully I can keep both! :)
I've really been getting into gardening recently (you know you're approaching middle age when 'Gardening Australia' is your go-to program and your Facebook groups are all gardening or lawn focused). I'm bringing our lawn back from the dead, have been planning a veggie garden and I've also been growing herbs. They were looking really healthy until tiny caterpillars started eating them. I sprayed and killed the caterpillars but now the plants look a bit sad. Anyway, it's been good for the soul and I can't wait until the veggie garden is a reality.
Other things that happened at the end of last year. I went vegan, then went back to vegetarian at the start of this year (I eat ethically sourced eggs and cheese on occasion). Not being able to eat gluten made it nearly impossible as it limited my choices too much. I want to eventually get back to vegan but I'm not pressuring myself. Slow and steady. :)
I also travelled to London, Prague, Guernsey and Edinburgh with Honor. It was a great trip however I think we packed way too many destinations into too little time. It's fine when you're on a bus but having to get to the airport and go through all the rigmarole associated with airports is far too stressful. My highlight was the Scottish highlands. Would love to go to Scotland again and have more time there. Also seeing snow for the first time in Prague and then again in Scotland. Snow is amazing! I need to build a snowman!
That is all for now.
So I'm in fourth year of my course now and I got accepted into Honours, something I'd been working towards since the beginning of my course. I'm not sure why I felt like I NEEDED to get into Honours. I think maybe it's to do with 'imposter syndrome', feelings of inadequacy and needing objective evidence that I am intelligent (although my self-talk says otherwise). Either way, I set myself a goal and achieved it so I should be proud of that.
It's been tough being at home by myself for hours at a time and being so far from most of my friends. My normally quite well managed depression and anxiety became unmanageable, exacerbated by very low levels of B12 and vitamin D (I forgot to take my supplements like an idiot).
I decided to 'OT' myself and implemented a self-care routine; taking my vitamins every day, sleep hygiene regime including disconnecting from social media at 8pm every night, once a day gardening, time with my pets, trying to see people (but mostly failing because I'm too depressed to motivate myself to drive long distances). I also applied for special considerations to give me a bit of extra leeway with thesis deadlines. This has been accepted and my supervisor has been very supportive. I'm still really struggling with ADHD and making myself do the work because it's not in a format that is interesting for me. Sometimes it feels physically painful to make myself do the work and the problem is that my ADHD medication gives me unpleasant side effects. So it's damned if you do, damned if you don't really. Either way it's a struggle.
I also decided to start working again because:
1) I hate having to ask Honor for money and for permission to spend money. It feels demoralising.
2) I need to human contact.
3) I want to keep my skills fresh.
I applied for a lot of different positions. Yesterday I signed start paperwork for Brightwater and that afternoon Therapy Focus also offered me a job. They're both casual so I'm going to accept both but if it gets unmanageable I will choose the one that suits me best. At TF I'd be able to actively practice my OT skills and could potentially turn it into an OT role when I graduate so I'm hoping to get lots of work through them. However I have two 7 week placements this year and at Brightwater I could work evenings and weekends, so they both have their advantages. Hopefully I can keep both! :)
I've really been getting into gardening recently (you know you're approaching middle age when 'Gardening Australia' is your go-to program and your Facebook groups are all gardening or lawn focused). I'm bringing our lawn back from the dead, have been planning a veggie garden and I've also been growing herbs. They were looking really healthy until tiny caterpillars started eating them. I sprayed and killed the caterpillars but now the plants look a bit sad. Anyway, it's been good for the soul and I can't wait until the veggie garden is a reality.
Other things that happened at the end of last year. I went vegan, then went back to vegetarian at the start of this year (I eat ethically sourced eggs and cheese on occasion). Not being able to eat gluten made it nearly impossible as it limited my choices too much. I want to eventually get back to vegan but I'm not pressuring myself. Slow and steady. :)
I also travelled to London, Prague, Guernsey and Edinburgh with Honor. It was a great trip however I think we packed way too many destinations into too little time. It's fine when you're on a bus but having to get to the airport and go through all the rigmarole associated with airports is far too stressful. My highlight was the Scottish highlands. Would love to go to Scotland again and have more time there. Also seeing snow for the first time in Prague and then again in Scotland. Snow is amazing! I need to build a snowman!
That is all for now.