The Milky Way: Rachel, PG

[marliskelsey]

Title: The Milky Way
Author: marliskelsey
Pairing,Character(s): Rachel, appearances from Finn, Puck and Quinn, tiny hints of Rachel/Finn and Rachel/Puck
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,176
Spoilers: Through 1x13, Sectionals
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I can only dream.
Summary: Somewhere in between being born and receiving her very first pair of shiny

Comments

[becca_radcgg]

First off, I have the attention span of a four year old, so I really appreciated all the short concise segments. You paint a very vivid picture with few words and that's really quite rare to find.

I really enjoyed the fact that you looked at Rachel's upbringing and decided that to her three or four year old self (or whenever she had that ephiphany) she only really wanted to make her dads proud of her. I believe that's very important to her still.

I loved the entire segment with the dress and the complete despondence of her lack of friends. There's just something so morose about her social ineptitude... or inability. You really capture that with simple clean lines like, "Nobody comes to her birthday party." and "Her second day, Rachel discovers how flavoured syrup feels when it’s burning in your eyes."

There was one teeny tiny thing I found, "For oncethere’s no glint in his eye" - you just need to add a space between those two words.

I was rec'd this by my friend alifab who is, of course, fabulous, and a real Finn/Rachel shipper. I'm so pleased that she did. Great job.

[marliskelsey]

Thank you very, very much. You have no idea how excited I was when I noticed that you'd commented, because I've admired your work since I was just a Glee fanfiction lurker. Three of my favourite writers commented this, actually, it's a good day :)

I'm glad you liked the short segments, that's my typical writing style but I always worry they're too short.

I think that quite a bit of Rachel's driving force is the need for others (especially people she cares about) to be proud of her and to like her.

The way others treat her makes me so sad, because I think that maybe she never learned how to interact with people, or what other people consider pleasant because she's always been so focused on her other pursuits.

I fixed the mistake, thanks for pointing it out!

is fabulous.

I'm so glad that you liked it. Thank you for reading and commenting.

♥