The Milky Way: Rachel, PG
Title: The Milky Way
Author: marliskelsey
Pairing,Character(s): Rachel, appearances from Finn, Puck and Quinn, tiny hints of Rachel/Finn and Rachel/Puck
Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,176
Spoilers: Through 1x13, Sectionals
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. I can only dream.
Summary: Somewhere in between being born and receiving her very first pair of shiny, black tap shoes, Rachel Berry realizes that she’s going to become a star.
A/N: I . . . I don't know what this is. It just sort-of all came spilling out in one go. You can think of it as a lead-up to my P/R series from Rachel's perspective, but it can also stand alone. I hope you enjoy it!
Somewhere in between being born and receiving her very first pair of shiny, black tap shoes, Rachel Berry realizes that she’s going to become a star.
Not just any star, she’s going to be famous. She’s going to become an icon, a role model, someone who people look at and feel awed. She’s going to become a name that people will know and say forever.
She tells her fathers on a Saturday.
They beam with happiness and enroll her in dance and voice lessons.
Rachel decides that she doesn’t care what happens as long as her daddies are proud of her.
* * *
As she grows older, Rachel sticks to her dream.
She wonders how the other children at school can change their dreams like flip cards, going from astronaut to painter to cheerleader and back. She wonders how they think they’ll achieve anything if they can’t decide what they’re going to do.
Her fathers tell her that it’s normal for kids to change their minds.
She’s always known she’s special.
It’s the first time in her life that “special” doesn’t mean “normal”.
* * *
Her fathers and her teachers praise her talents. They tell her that she’s destined for greatness, and for the stardom she’s craved almost since birth.
Nobody comes to her birthday party.
Nobody wants to hang out with that freaky Rachel girl, who smiles too wide and talks far too much, and who sings too beautifully to look away.
* * *
One day, a boy named Noah pushes her down.
A girl named Quinn laughs, and the tall boy next to her, the one with the sideways grin and the kind brown eyes, bites his lip and helps her up.
“Thank you.”
“Uh huh.”
He chases after Quinn. Rachel’s left with stars in her eyes.
* * *
One night, she stays up late.
She’s twelve years old, crouched in the darkness of her living room, kneeling in her pajamas on the carpet. The TV screen flickers softly.
Maria dances across the stage.
Unconsciously, her hand drifts to the screen, hovering, so that the static crackles against her fingers. She imagines it as invisible waves of understanding to her from this beautiful, talented, captivating woman, telling her that she belongs when everyone tells her she doesn’t.
The next morning, her fathers hand her a newspaper. Circled in red, there’s an ad about an open audition for a community theatre production of West Side Story.
It’s like fate, if Rachel believed in anything other than hard work and perseverance.
* * *
Thirteen is a milestone birthday. She celebrates with a musical marathon at home.
Her fathers give her the most beautiful dress Rachel’s ever laid eyes on, white and sparkling and perfect. There are three tickets to Wicked hidden underneath the red tissue paper from the box.
She wears the dress to the show.
When Rachel returns to school, her teachers wish her a happy birthday. Her classmates treat her to their cold stares and catty comments.
Rachel longs for the safety of her dress.
It still smells like the theatre.
* * *
When she enters high school, Rachel fully expects to make lots of friends.
She’s so sure that the cattiness of middle school will just disappear, because everyone is older and more mature and certainly not so childish.
But all she feels like is a star in the Milky Way - lost and unimportant.
Her second day, Rachel discovers how flavoured syrup feels when it’s burning in your eyes.
She realizes that it was naïve to assume that things would ever change.
* * *
Glee provides Rachel an outlet.
She hopes that the shared interest may attract the other members to her.
It doesn’t.
(She tries to pretend that she doesn’t know it’s partially her fault.)
* * *
Until now, she’s forgotten about Finn Hudson. And he’s hard to forget about, all sweet eyes and dark hair and general bigness.
She hears his voice first.
It’s like a switch inside her heart dropping the gate, letting feelings rush in and swirl around like water. And before she has a chance to wonder, Rachel’s singing and dancing and emoting and its perfection.
She’s always searched for a leading man worthy of sharing her stage.
Rachel thinks that Finn could be him.
* * *
She’s wrong. He’s not.
Finn’s a sweet boy, but Rachel can only take so much before her heart feels like it’s been deflated and the flood-gate of feelings is padlocked shut.
* * *
She finds out the truth about Quinn’s baby.
Rachel knows she can’t sit around and let Finn go on believing a lie.
She may be questioning her feelings for him, but he’s still her friend. Maybe her best friend.
The pain that flashes across his face when she says the words makes her heart hurt. He doesn’t believe her at first, but the pieces all click into place. Rachel can almost see the cogs of his brain turning, putting the truth together.
Fists fly. The Glee club sells her out immediately.
And Rachel is left with the guilt.
* * *
As she seats herself beside Quinn, Rachel wants to laugh a little bit because this is all so surreal − begging for forgiveness from her tormentor.
But Rachel may have just effectively ruined Quinn’s life, so maybe it’s due.
The other girl sends her away fairly quickly, with the assurance that there’s no bad blood. It helps, but the guilt is still there, swirling and coiling in Rachel's chest like a snake.
When she passes Puck, she looks at him.
For once there’s no glint in his eye. There’s shame, darkness. He’s just lost his best friend because of her God-given inability to stop from talking. He’s about to go talk to the expectant mother of his child.
When she goes to bed that night, images of sad hazel eyes fill her dreams.
* * *
When they win Sectionals and Finn hoists the trophy in the air, it feels like things could be better.
Rachel feels like herself again, at ease on the stage and she’s sharing it with her Glee club.
Finn’s eyes catch sight of Quinn, who’s smiling and rubbing her stomach. His grip on the trophy slips a little bit. He puts it back down.
* * *
Time passes by, slow and full of more mistrust than ever before.
Rachel surprises everyone by not throwing herself at Finn. She even surprises Finn.
She wonders if she should be hurt by the obvious lack of respect from the group, or the fact that they assume they know everything about her, and all they see is diva.
She’s not though. Rachel takes it in stride, because her belief that she’s going to be famous and away from this place soon has only been reaffirmed and she thinks that they’re a little bit jealous.
It doesn’t stop her from wishing they’d just be her friends.
It only gives her hope that it won’t matter so much if they don’t.
* * *
In the future, she’ll feel less like she’s trapped in the Milky Way.
She’s sure she’ll be the North Star.
It’s what she was born to do.