I've been basically reading up recently on certain topics. Karma, psychic, psychology spiritualism, etc have all come into my mindset. The elegant and all around beautiful
Michiru has always been an inspiration for me. I regret drifting apart from her, but I was young and naive at the time when I first met her. I hope to become a good person like her someday.
I've been reading over books that my sister has on some topics such as herbal healing, and researching other material on the internet. I hope to go to the book store sometime this week to purchase some more literature as well. Why the sudden interest?
Because I want a change in myself. No one has twisted my arm, no one has dared me, I want this. There is no explanation other than I want to see if I can expand myself, to evolve perhaps. I feel a need too.
I've always said life is like an endless story. I've always wanted to just rip out the pages of the painful past and start over again, but I've come to realize I can't ever do that. I can't ever take back things I've said, I can't change the relationships I've been in with people, I can't hold myself for not doing things I wanted to, I just simply can't let it weight on my shoulders at a period in time where I should be happy as can be.
These next four years I will be growing up. I will be entering a job, preparing for college, and readying myself to enter the 'real world'. I want to do all of it with some prosperity inside me and not be constantly ripped apart by things resurfacing by the past. It's not fair to do to myself anymore or those who love me.
I can't thank you all enough for being there for me through everything we've all been through together. The laughs, the tears, the anger, the heart-breaks, the joy, and everything else. Without you all I would not be the person I am today. I love you all more than anything else in this world. You are all beautiful beyond belief and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
Peace and love to all those who care to take a glimpse into my life. Perhaps from now on you'll read more good things here than bad.
Take care and blessed be thee.